Don't Try And Hamstring Your Competition...let's Play Nice.

Business By kellertur Updated 19 Jun 2010 , 4:03am by kellertur

kellertur Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 3:26am
post #1 of 28

You never know when a referral's going to come your way, and I've had many land in my lap at a much needed time. It's just not a good idea to try and ruin your competition's business...and it's not even nice. Hey, even if you hate the person's guts...be an adult. There's one or two I don't recommend, but I don't badmouth them or slander them...we all have to live with ourselves at the end of the day. Just my opinion...

27 replies
Jeep_girl816 Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 4:08am
post #2 of 28

Well said! It's nice to see adults in this or any business, I think everyone needs to be reminded of the golden rule: "Do to others what you would have them do to you". Or my personal favorite: "Karma's a b*tch!" lol!

costumeczar Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 11:08am
post #3 of 28

Trash talking your competition to clients is totally unprofessional and just makes you look sad and bitter.

Lita829 Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 11:48am
post #4 of 28

People generally resort to slander when they feel threatened. Its a dirty way to bring down the competition. Your business must have brought out the beast in her....the green-eyed beast.

I agree with Customzar. Don't fret...Let her keep running her mouth and write down everything you hear. Then sue the b*tch.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I've been a victim of slander so I know what it can do to your life.

Loucinda Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 12:16pm
post #5 of 28

Trash talking about anyone IMO is not the thing to do....not just "competition". The only thing it does is make the person doing it look insecure and weak minded.

Treating others how you want to be treated works really well! (and I believe in karma too - maybe not immediately, but sometime in their life, it will come back to haunt them) thumbs_up.gif

Lita829 Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 12:18pm
post #6 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loucinda

Trash talking about anyone IMO is not the thing to do....not just "competition". The only thing it does is make the person doing it look insecure and weak minded.

Treating others how you want to be treated works really well! (and I believe in karma too - maybe not immediately, but sometime in their life, it will come back to haunt them) thumbs_up.gif




True to everything you said....but I still say sue her.

costumeczar Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 1:22pm
post #7 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lita829

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loucinda

Trash talking about anyone IMO is not the thing to do....not just "competition". The only thing it does is make the person doing it look insecure and weak minded.

Treating others how you want to be treated works really well! (and I believe in karma too - maybe not immediately, but sometime in their life, it will come back to haunt them) thumbs_up.gif



True to everything you said....but I still say sue her.




Suing works faster than Karma icon_wink.gif

edited to add: Maybe getting sued would be her karma!

HobbyCaker Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 1:41pm
post #8 of 28

Another one of my sweet little grandmother's sayings:

Just remember if someone is talking about you behind your back how many are talking about them behind their's?

I also believe in Karma, but think the "Letter of Intent" from an attorney holds a lot of weight! Had a similar thing happen with my DH business, had our attorney send the person a letter of intent (cost us $60. -15 yrs ago) best money we have ever spent. Got a personal apology and a letter of apology in the local paper. And unfortunately that person's business folded, so sad! icon_cry.gif

Lita829 Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 2:04pm
post #9 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by HobbyCaker

Another one of my sweet little grandmother's sayings:

Just remember if someone is talking about you behind your back how many are talking about them behind their's?

I also believe in Karma, but think the "Letter of Intent" from an attorney holds a lot of weight! Had a similar thing happen with my DH business, had our attorney send the person a letter of intent (cost us $60. -15 yrs ago) best money we have ever spent. Got a personal apology and a letter of apology in the local paper. And unfortunately that person's business folded, so sad! icon_cry.gif




HA! Now that's what I'm talkin' about! God don't like ugly icon_wink.gif

kellertur Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 5:32pm
post #10 of 28

Trashtalking isn't cool. Neither is the sneaky way some people do it, backhandedly so they appear innocent when all the while they are trying to erode your self-esteem. The best thing is to just not care what anyone thinks...don't let your self-worth get tied up in someone else's actions or approval. We have built in consciences that have nothing to do with religion or God. Unless there is something fundamentally wrong with someone (sociopath, etc)...people know right from wrong. Animals don't attack each other for "fun"...humans are the most destructive species on the planet and I'm starting to think we're the most ignorant.

confectionsofahousewife Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 5:47pm
post #11 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Trash talking your competition to clients is totally unprofessional and just makes you look sad and bitter.




Gah, people actually do that?!? I may think my stuff is better than someone elses (and I may say so to family and on here) but I can't imagine actually saying that to potential clients! Nuts.

costumeczar Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 6:40pm
post #12 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by confectionsofahousewife

Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Trash talking your competition to clients is totally unprofessional and just makes you look sad and bitter.



Gah, people actually do that?!? I may think my stuff is better than someone elses (and I may say so to family and on here) but I can't imagine actually saying that to potential clients! Nuts.




Oh yeah, they do. I've had clients tell me some things that some vendors said about other vendors, it's really quite amazing.

Lita829 Posted 16 Jun 2010 , 10:55pm
post #13 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnywigglesworth

Trashtalking isn't cool. Neither is the sneaky way some people do it, backhandedly so they appear innocent when all the while they are trying to erode your self-esteem. The best thing is to just not care what anyone thinks...don't let your self-worth get tied up in someone else's actions or approval. We have built in consciences that have nothing to do with religion or God. Unless there is something fundamentally wrong with someone (sociopath, etc)...people know right from wrong. Animals don't attack each other for "fun"...humans are the most destructive species on the planet and I'm starting to think we're the most ignorant.




Well said thumbs_up.gif

kellertur Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:16am
post #14 of 28

I try not to wish ill on people who trashtalk me, etc..that goes against the whole ideal of "do onto others", no? Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos, and by wishing ill on someone (such as Karma) you are then only inviting Karma back your way.

If I sit around wishing and hoping their company folds or they get shut down, or poison someone, how am I any better? icon_confused.gif I'd be a hypocrite...

Michelle84 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 1:53am
post #15 of 28

Myself and a friend had been cooking cakes for years before we met, however we both decided to go into business around the same time. I was so excited to hear we would both be going into business and thought this would give us something to share. However within a few weeks I quickly realised my friend was bad mouthing me behind her back, saying that I was "trying to be her". I didn't understand her reaction because our cakes and decorating styles were completely different, and we live 35min away from each other. I also told her I would quite happily have referred people to her if I was unable to do a cake.

In the end she decided not to go into business, and no longer cooks cakes. I'm still a little confused and flabbergasted, but at least our friendship is back on track.

I don't see other cake decorators as "the enemy" - yes they're competition but I still see them as people I'd love to get to know! We're interested in the same hobby/business - why should we hate each other?

Lita829 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 2:13am
post #16 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnywigglesworth

I try not to wish ill on people who trashtalk me, etc..that goes against the whole ideal of "do onto others", no? Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos, and by wishing ill on someone (such as Karma) you are then only inviting Karma back your way.

If I sit around wishing and hoping their company folds or they get shut down, or poison someone, how am I any better? icon_confused.gif I'd be a hypocrite...




I understand what you are saying and for the most part I agree. BUT its human nature to want revenge, or at least justice, for someone who crosses you. So no....I wouldn't consider you or anyone else a hypocrite for wanting something to happen to the person who hurt you or slandered your name. Even good people would want AT LEAST a public apology or something of that nature. Also, the person who is/has spread lies probably wanted her company to fold so her company folding was just desserts in my opinion.

One thing about me...I can always see both sides of an argument. I may not agree with both sides or how a situation is handled, but I can understand both points of view.

Lita829 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 2:22am
post #17 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by twirlz

Myself and a friend had been cooking cakes for years before we met, however we both decided to go into business around the same time. I was so excited to hear we would both be going into business and thought this would give us something to share. However within a few weeks I quickly realised my friend was bad mouthing me behind her back, saying that I was "trying to be her". I didn't understand her reaction because our cakes and decorating styles were completely different, and we live 35min away from each other. I also told her I would quite happily have referred people to her if I was unable to do a cake.

In the end she decided not to go into business, and no longer cooks cakes. I'm still a little confused and flabbergasted, but at least our friendship is back on track.

I don't see other cake decorators as "the enemy" - yes they're competition but I still see them as people I'd love to get to know! We're interested in the same hobby/business - why should we hate each other?




Well said thumbs_up.gif Some people are threatened when someone else has a talent similar or better than theirs. I once read an e-mail that said that for some people, envy is easier than admiration. I like meeting bakers and decorators who's expertise trumps mine. I look at it as a learning experience because, if they are anything like me, they can share their knowledge. I share what I know to anyone who's interested. I can't take it to the grave, can I?

kellertur Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 2:27am
post #18 of 28

Lita, an apology is always nice...however rare. I agree that feeling the desire or need for justice is human. I've just done a lot of work undoing some old thinking and I'm much happier this way. It is human to "feel"... but it feels like (insert explitive) to wake up each morning with negative feelings/bitterness toward someone who's wronged you. I try really hard to change my perspective and pattern of thought.

Some people can get really snippy/threatened if you become interested in what "they do", even as a hobby. It's their garbage...so let them take it out. icon_smile.gif

Lita829 Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 2:35am
post #19 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnywigglesworth

Lita, an apology is always nice...however rare. I agree that feeling the desire or need for justice is human. I've just done a lot of work undoing some old thinking and I'm much happier this way. It is human to "feel"... but it feels like (insert explitive) to wake up each morning with negative feelings/bitterness toward someone who's wronged you. I try really hard to change my perspective and pattern of thought.

Some people can get really snippy/threatened if you become interested in what "they do", even as a hobby. It's their garbage...so let them take it out. icon_smile.gif




I agree. You're right. Its funny that you mention waking up feeling like crap. That was a common feeling for me but I continued to smile despite it. That really confuses people who are trying to bring you down. Besides....no one can steal your joy if you don't let them. Happiness is circumstantial...joy is internal. Its whats in the core of your being. I have my moments of being resentful toward those who have hurt me but its fleeting....only when I see them. But for the most part, like you, I know that I can choose my attitude.

Loucinda Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 3:16am
post #20 of 28

Lita929 - thumbs_up.gif

kellertur Posted 17 Jun 2010 , 5:37pm
post #21 of 28

Genuine happiness is it's own reward. icon_smile.gif

Lita829 Posted 18 Jun 2010 , 12:03pm
post #22 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnywigglesworth

Genuine happiness is it's own reward. icon_smile.gif




I'm sure it is but not everyone in this world gets to experience it. Its a sad fact but true.

kellertur Posted 19 Jun 2010 , 1:54am
post #23 of 28

I'm not talking about religion, just in general.
I honestly "now" feel that life is what you make it...we all fall upon hard times...sometimes devastatingly hard times. We always have a choice to be happy. That's also a fact. icon_smile.gif

tesso Posted 19 Jun 2010 , 2:09am
post #24 of 28

OH NOW...come on guys.. you are absolutely sucking all the fun out of being mean spirtited, backstabbing, slandering, and just plain ole jealousy and meaness. Now why would you do that? icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

alright, had to tease you guys a little. I believe life is too short not to laugh at every opportunity, what you put out karmiclly (sp?) will come back three fold. Laugh in the face of those who would scorn you and try to bring you down.

Some people wish to die peacefully in their sleep.. I wish to die laughing !! icon_lol.gif

Kitagrl Posted 19 Jun 2010 , 2:14am
post #25 of 28

I know one can't always get along with everyone, but I think its great to have other cake business friends in the area who you can talk with or refer cakes to if you are busy, and vice versa. Its always good to have a network of support.

cownsj Posted 19 Jun 2010 , 2:18am
post #26 of 28

My husband just loves decorating cakes. One day he stumbled upon a business in the next town and began talking with the owner. He talked about hoping to one day open a business, that he was new, that he has lots to learn, etc. She became his mentor, let him practice as an apprentice in her shop and even told him that if he got any business he could make any cake in her shop. Now THAT is class! She and her husband have become very good friends of ours.

Lita829 Posted 19 Jun 2010 , 2:43am
post #27 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by cownsj

My husband just loves decorating cakes. One day he stumbled upon a business in the next town and began talking with the owner. He talked about hoping to one day open a business, that he was new, that he has lots to learn, etc. She became his mentor, let him practice as an apprentice in her shop and even told him that if he got any business he could make any cake in her shop. Now THAT is class! She and her husband have become very good friends of ours.




Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! That is class. It's nice that your hubby's networking lead to not only training but a friendship for all of you.

kellertur Posted 19 Jun 2010 , 4:03am
post #28 of 28

I just went to Kohl's and they're closed... icon_sad.gif

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%