Deep Breath...123..here We Go!

Business By sillymoo84 Updated 13 Jun 2010 , 3:42pm by sillymoo84

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 8:35pm
post #1 of 35

Guys, need your help!!

can you all have a look at my website, I am launching on Monday, so want it PERFECT!!

All critism welcome, spell checks etc, though I think the english spelling is a bit different to american?!

honest opinions, including checking links etc...

(link removed per OP's request.)

p.s the above is a temporary link

thank you!

xoxoo

34 replies
motherofgrace Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 8:47pm
post #2 of 35

looks great , but the pink on the home page is hard to read icon_smile.gif

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 8:50pm
post #3 of 35

noted! thanks, my dh said that, but I cant take critism from him!! strange isnt it?

KHalstead Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 8:56pm
post #4 of 35

wow, I had to go back and look...I didn't even SEE the stuff written in pink at first! I think all the writing on the homepage needs to be a little bigger and maybe darker so it pops a little more.

I had to look up "bespoke" lol pretty neat word.

Other than that, the only thing I think it needs is on the pricing page...instead of just saying our pricing range because everything is bespoke....how about saying they range from $5/serv. -$20+/serv. or something like that......at least give a base price so people understand how much they're looking and see if they have the budget before they bug you?

step0nmi Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 8:59pm
post #5 of 35

ok...deep breath! first of all, your website is beautiful! I just have a few questions, concerns and errors.

Home page: "Just a few sweet sayings" is very very light. It's hard to read and you may want to just up the pink color a bit.
-your font seems to be slightly different for your paragraphs, I would have them all one font/size
-"Specialising" should be "Specializing" icon_smile.gif
-I would put a comma at: Specializing in wedding cakes,...
-Second paragraph: I would say "fullest" instead of "full"
4th paragraph: you have a list with too many and's...I would say: working closely with planners, hotels, reception venues, and restaurants" that is just me though

Big Sweet things: on the last paragraph you don't need a comma after being. I think the sentence should look like: "Our favourites being double chocolate, lime, coconut, vanilla and amaretto." icon_smile.gif

For your links page I would title that something like "referrals" or Wedding Vendors. Links sounds too general and wouldn't bring people to that page necessarily.

Hopefully, my suggestions and critiques aren't too harsh. You do have a very lovely site and I wish you the best of luck icon_biggrin.gif

step0nmi Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 9:02pm
post #6 of 35

I was curious what the Bespoke was too icon_redface.gif Sometimes what happens if you have to educate customers on a certain style they may not go with your business. You could add some describing words about what it is after you mention it in order to get that confusion out of the way icon_smile.gif

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 9:04pm
post #7 of 35

Thank you thank you THANK YOU!

I knew you would all help!!! thumbs_up.gif

I am going to make all changes tomorrow...

Anymore suggestions, I have thick skin, I can take all critism! icon_biggrin.gif

60sBunny Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 10:35pm
post #8 of 35

Hi Sillymoo.

Can't find on your site where you are, where you deliver etc just "across the Costa". Your links are all for spain weddings but your address is .co.uk. I guess your ex-pat. The customer however might move on to someone waving the Spanish flag on their website. So maybe make it more obvious where you are based and where you cater for. Not saying put a spanish flag on the site, but a footer to the site with Costa del sol?, Spain?

And specialising is the correct present participle of specialise in non-american english. So it depends on your target market? British, or American? How you choose to spell it.

The only other thing that would bother me from a customers perspective, is the price tab with no prices on it. I think displaying them draws in more serious business and discourages looky loos, but if you are not keen on having prices you may want to change the tab to "Quotes"? And add your contact box there.

Agree with the colour suggestions of the other posters.

Hope it draws in lots of business for you. our cakes look beautiful

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 10:43pm
post #9 of 35

Hi 60s bunny, thanks for that. I should write spain. The website address is swwetthingsbyfi.com - com not co.uk. It hasn't been published yet, so it is under a uk web host at present, sorry for the confusion!!

I may put some prices up, its a good idea! again another thing my dh suggested icon_redface.gif

I will change the colour to a dark charcoal, not keen on black, as too harsh for the website!

thank you so much for what you said, especially about the whole location thing, very silly of me not to include anything about Spain!!! icon_redface.gif

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 10:46pm
post #10 of 35

p.s. 60s bunny - you use 'bespoke' too!!! icon_biggrin.gif

Bunsen Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 11:10pm
post #11 of 35

Could you put a picture or 2 on the home page? It is quite plain with just text, when I clicked on I was blown away with the impact of the beautiful cakes that really popped out of the page - I would be more inclined to carry on looking if I saw that on the first page I saw.

Also, if your target client is English or ex-pat I wouldn't worry about the word bespoke - it's probably not used so much in the US but to English ears it makes me think of Saville row suits, good analogy for custom cake design!

Overall a very impressive site, good luck!

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 11:15pm
post #12 of 35

thank you so much for all of this!

I didnt want to put anything on the home page as I didn't want to scare people away!! my cakes are very individual,like marmite, love it or hate it!!!

target market is basically the english speaking ppl that come over to have their weddings. Saville row...what a complement!!! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

Ursula40 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 11:25pm
post #13 of 35

Quite honestly I think you use the word bespoke too often. Try exchanging it where appropriate with customised, individual (ised) or even one of a kind, or tailored/baked/decorated to your needs, specifications or wishes. It just makes more interesting reading and keeps the attention going. Other than that your cakes and website are gorgeous

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 11:28pm
post #14 of 35

good point! I will make some changes, thnks ursula40

mayo2222 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 11:33pm
post #15 of 35

For me the site feels too plain with not enough content. I would like to see more pictures, flavors and possibly prices. When I go to a website I feel I should get a good idea of what is offered and what I would be getting. If I am interested by what I see I will contact you for more information.

Thats just how I operate though. I like to do research first. When I look at houses online if there aren't any pictures or information I skip over and look at the next place.

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 11:34pm
post #16 of 35

good point! I will make some changes, thnks ursula40

Ursula40 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 11:42pm
post #17 of 35

I just opened up your blog page

Imagine my excitment when I receieve these photos from (should be received)

AND an Edible bear and rattle (edible should be spelled with a small e)
I couldnt wait to do it (missing apostrophe in couldn't)
i can wait to create this wedding cake inspired by the board below. It will be very striking, bright and best of all PINK!
(I at beginning of sentence should be capitol)

I love when brides are into their wedding design, especially when they use modern and fresh colours. recently a bride forwarded these inspiration boards. As soon as I saw them, I loved the images. They are two very different colours, however they are perfect for a summer wedding!
(too much love, try another word)

sillymoo84 Posted 12 Jun 2010 , 11:55pm
post #18 of 35

mayo... I'll take what you said on board... thank you!

tomthebarncat Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 12:23am
post #19 of 35

The pink is just awful for the text.
Your descriptions, etc are a bit wordy, sum it up on short and sweet! especially since you are saying the same thing over and over.
Your photos are not clearly copyrighted, you don't want your work to show up on someone elses website.
Prices are either published or available thru a e-form to submit to you, which is it?
I think you need a bit about who you are and how you came to be a cake baker.
Your work is absolutely amazing and I wish you all the best!

Kitagrl Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 12:48am
post #20 of 35

Is the "fi" your trademark? Because it seems like the "F" should be capitalized....

I agree definitely ALL the text on the home page should be darkened, its all rather faded out looking, although the design is beautiful. When it was loading I was like waiting it to load with full color..haha...seems so washed out.

I also agree that you need a pic or two on the home page.

Your photography is lovely!

"Bespoke"...haha....that sounds cool but I'm pretty well-read (or at least I consider myself so!!!) and I didn't know what it meant except for context...so I'm thinking maybe the other customers won't either? Although I guess its pretty easy to figure out...

Your site is very feminine and classy looking, I think its great! Just darken everything up, make it easy to read and show off some of your lovely work right on the home page!

thumbs_up.gif

CWR41 Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 1:16am
post #21 of 35

Your website is nice, the photos are great, and your work is elegant. (I sincerely hope the work is your own... just sayin. The last time I helped someone proofread their site, they later admitted the photos used were displayed as their own work but didnt feel it was a big deal when they were asked to remove the stolen pictures... not cool. I wouldnt have helped, if I had known that in advance.) Anyway, heres my input. I see that a few people have already commented on items I also found, but didn't know it at the time when I started this over 4 hours ago, so I'm not finding those to delete! I hope this helps!

Home
Specialising in wedding cake our desire is to create (I know its a UK thing, no z in specialising!)
Specialising in wedding cake, our desire is to create
to the full. (I prefer fullest.)

We offer individual attention to every client working closely
We offer individual attention to every client, working closely

with wedding and event planners, and hotels and restaurants
with wedding and event planners, hotels, and restaurants

across the Costa in order to ensure
across the Costa, in order to ensure

Big Sweet Things
show piece
showpiece

Our menu covers a wide variation (probably meant variety rather than variation of recipes???)

Our favourites being, double chocolate,
Our favourites being double chocolate, (I prefer Our favourites are)

double chocolate, lime and coconut and
double chocolate, lime and coconut, and (if lime and coconut together is the 2nd fave of 3)

vanilla and amaretto.
vanilla and Amaretto. (if vanilla and Amaretto together is the 3rd fave of 3)

Our menu covers a wide variation of cakes, from Jamaican black cake to vanilla bean cake.
Our favourites being, double chocolate, lime and coconut and vanilla and amaretto. But when it comes to cakes, there are endless possibilities.

Our menu covers a wide variation of cakes, from Jamaican black cake to vanilla bean cake. Our favourites being, double chocolate, lime and coconut and vanilla and amaretto. (no carriage return or new paragraph after vanilla bean cake. Our favourites is still talking about Our menu covers, so it should be included as a second sentence within that paragraph.)

amaretto. But when it comes to cakes, there are endless possibilities.
amaretto, but when it comes to cakes, there are endless possibilities. (rarely acceptable to start a sentence with But or And, etc.)
(since you already used the possibilities are endless on the same page, Id suggest saying there are unlimited possibilities or the possibilities are only limited by your imagination.)

To sum up suggested complete paragraph: Our menu covers a wide variety of cakes, from Jamaican black cake to vanilla bean cake. Our favourites are double chocolate, lime and coconut, and vanilla and Amaretto, but when it comes to cakes, there are unlimited possibilities.

Blog
Imagine my excitment when I
Imagine my excitement when I

when I receieve these photos from
when I received these photos from

Pierre Richardson
Pierre Richardson.

The bride wanted simplicity, along with a cake that would was
The bride wanted simplicity, along with a cake that was

contemporary. A style that would not go out of fashion in a couple of years time. (not a complete sentence.)
contemporarya style that would not go out of fashion in a couple of years time. (use a long dash [alt+0151], or two hyphens together.)

English fruit cake
English fruitcake

Chocolate, Vanilla Bean and Strawberry.
chocolate, vanilla bean, and strawberry. (unless vanilla bean and strawberry are combined.)

Perfect combinations to suit all guests. (not a complete sentence.)
The cake was English fruit cake, chocolate, vanilla bean, and strawberryperfect combinations to suit all guests. (same as above.)

My intention with this blog is to put some of my favourite cakes of the year.
My intention with this blog is to post some of my favourite cakes of the year.
or: My intention with this blog is to put some of my favourite cakes of the year on my site. (or something similar.)

cakes of the year.
This has to be one of them! (no need for carriage return, can keep with above sentence.)
My intention with this blog is to post some of my favourite cakes of the year. This has to be one of them!

Whilst I love all things romantic, its
Whilst I love all things romantic, its

AND an Edible bear and rattle!
AND an edible bear and rattle!

Congratulations Linda on your baby boy.
Congratulations Linda, on your baby boy.
or: Congratulations on your baby boy, Linda.

Black, White and Pink
Black, White, and Pink (I see three separate colors, not a combination of white and pink.)

I just love when a bride has an unusal idea
I just love when a bride has an unusual idea

different. So when I was asked to
different, so when I was asked to

grey, white and pink
grey, white, and pink

couldnt wait to do it!
couldnt wait to do it!

pink, I couldnt wait to do it!
pinkI couldnt wait to do it!
(Black, White, and Pink is the heading... are you sure you didnt mean to use black instead of grey?)

Here are the results, very modern, very contemporary!
Here are the results: (very modern, and very contemporary!)
or: Here are the results... very modern, and very contemporary!

i can wait to create this wedding cake
I cant wait to create this wedding cake

It will be very striking, bright and best of all PINK!
It will be very striking, bright, and, best of all, PINK!
or: It will be very striking, bright, and (best of all) PINK!

recently a bride forwarded these
Recently a bride forwarded these

however they are perfect for a summer wedding!
however, they are perfect for a summer wedding!

Once I have the photos of the cake I will blog these.
Once I have the photos of the cake, I will blog these.

very strong, striking images, something that I want to
very strong, striking imagessomething that I want to

bride with a strong confident personality.
bride with a strong, confident personality.

2010, is continuing with vintage, shabby chic styles. Something which is
2010, is continuing with vintage, shabby-chic stylessomething which is

whether it be fabric, fresh or sugar.
whether it be fabric, fresh, or sugar.

These along with pearls these create
These, along with pearls, create
or: Along with pearls, these create

a pure feminine delicate touch.
a purely feminine, delicate touch.
or: a purely delicate, feminine touch.

touch. Perfect for a vintage inspired wedding.
touchperfect for a vintage-inspired wedding.

colour combo of cream and gold, you can never with this!
colour combo of cream and goldyou can never go wrong with this!
or: colour combo of cream and gold. You can never go wrong with these colour choices!

exhibiting extravangance in style and colour.
exhibiting extravagance in style and colour.

sillymoo84 Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 1:20am
post #22 of 35

kitagirl- thank you so much! I'm very nervous about the whole thing but very excited at the same time!
Ursula40 - thanks re the log, I forgot to look at that!!!! besitos!

sillymoo84 Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 2:25am
post #23 of 35

Hi CWR41, believe me the work is mine, it has taken nearly 9 months to get to this stage with the photography, and I have a lot of ppl waiting for the website! I just want everything to be perfect, as the clientele I am targeting seek a high standard! it has been blood sweat and tears!!!!

Thank you so much for the proof reading, you are very good!!!!

tomthebarncat = what a cool name... i have copyscaped the pages etc, taken off the pink! i agree, it doesnt look right!!!

CWR41 Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 2:46am
post #24 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by sillymoo84

Hi CWR41, believe me the work is mine, it has taken nearly 9 months to get to this stage with the photography, and I have a lot of ppl waiting for the website! I just want everything to be perfect, as the clientele I am targeting seek a high standard! it has been blood sweat and tears!!!!

Thank you so much for the proof reading, you are very good!!!!




Wonderful! Your hard work shows. I like the photos.

You are very welcome. Best of luck to you in your new venture!

kimmisue2009 Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 2:59am
post #25 of 35

I did notice that on the Big Sweet Things page you have the phrase "Whether you choose to incorporate the lace on your dress, the colour theme, or the flowers in your bouquet." as a stand-alone sentence. It's actually just a sentence fragment. Not a huge deal, but I was a technical writer for years and I tend to zero in on things like that. Also, I have to know - what is a Jamaican Black Cake?

tsc Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 3:07am
post #26 of 35

Love the cakes. They're beautiful. Read through the comments so far, and I didn't notice anyone point this out. On the little sweet things Cupcake Flavours list you have all of the 2 word flavours capitalized except white chocolate. You need to capitalize the word chocolate to keep it in the same trend as the others. icon_smile.gif Best of luck.

LuvLyrics Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 3:07am
post #27 of 35

[quote="CWR41"]Your website is nice, the photos are great, and your work is elegant. (I sincerely hope the work is your own... just sayin. The last time I helped someone proofread their site, they later admitted the photos used were displayed as their own work but didnt feel it was a big deal when they were asked to remove the stolen pictures... not cool. I wouldnt have helped, if I had known that in advance.) Anyway, heres my input. I see that a few people have already commented on items I also found, but didn't know it at the time when I started this over 4 hours ago, so I'm not finding those to delete! I hope this helps!

To CWR41
OMG.. I am going to add you to my buddy list for when I am ready to make a site... Are you a consultant too ?? Really good eye !

sillymoo84 Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 3:42am
post #28 of 35

Guys I cannot thank you enough! I have been working on this for nearly 24hours, no sleep! it is 5.30am in spain, so I am going to get some rest!

I have invorporated most changes, except for the prices, I will think about what to write after some sleep!

thank u thank u thank u!

I am very grateful!

night night

p.s. j black cake - here is a recipe, not the one I use, but it is a very boozy fruit cake!! quite expensive t o make!

http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/29/Black_Cake_Jamaican_Fruitcake38280.shtml

the one i use has more alcohol, and you marinate dried fruits for a least 6monts

CWR41 Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 3:48am
post #29 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvLyrics

To CWR41
OMG.. I am going to add you to my buddy list for when I am ready to make a site... Are you a consultant too ?? Really good eye !




Nope. It's just my thing. I've always liked spelling and correcting with my red (or silver) pen!!

At one of my businesses, I was owner, publisher, editor, printer, photographer, writer, researcher, traveling reporter, shipping distributor (and everything else) of my own worldwide magazine, so I kept up with continuing education for new rules of proofreading and editing. It was a fun hobby/business with a very limited market, so I quit after almost 5 years because I was losing about $5 for every issue sold! I miss it sometimes, but it was sucking me dry! (hope y'all enjoy your CC mags, because there's so much that goes into publishing. Unless you've got over 500,000 subscribers, it isn't easily profitable unless you're charging $30-40 per issue, and that's not including shipping costs to other countries!)

moreCakePlz Posted 13 Jun 2010 , 2:35pm
post #30 of 35

Hi sillymoo84,

Your site looks great, so I only have a few things minor things to comment on:

May just be me, but I think your menu list (Home, Big Sweet Thing, Little Sweet Thing, ) should be centered across the page. On my browser the line is left justified with a large area of white space after Wedding Experts.

I know you mentioned that you didnt want black text, but I think the color you are using is still a little too subdued.

I dont know if this is a rule or not, but I was told never to use a common word more than once in a sentence. For example the sentence: We ensure that each cake is designed to suit the individuality of each bride. Each is used twice. Alternative: We ensure that EVERY cake is designed to suit the individuality of each bride.

Bespoke threw me too. I had to look it up. Ive only seen it used in the context of engaging or hiring something or predicting the future.

When I read the line Just a few Sweet Sayings, I thought it read SAVINGS and not SAYINGS. The underlining kinda hides the tail of the Y. I though you were going to offer a Grand Opening Sale. I know, I know, Im blind.

Typo: Other cakes can also BE found on our blog.

Good luck with you launch on Monday.

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