Hello friends and fellow cakers, I have a problem. I want to say thank you to my friend for her gift of the cakes at my grandaughters Sweet 16.. It was done in the same custom and style of any other quinceanera. So it was a big event. Rented elegant hall, big puffy dress, dj, photographer, limo, you get the picture. ( we had individual cakes for each table)

Unfortunately they were aweful. Sloppy work, Not prepared well, Not decorated well at all. I know her capabilities and have seen her work. Not so much as a single flower on any cake. All she put on top of these 8" cakes was a 2"-3" plastic doll from the Disney Store and a 3" crown make from fondant. Some had pics of Cinderella (theme) on the side others had fondant but even that was not placed on well or it was sliding because it was placed on Pastry Pride.

I don't consider myself the master of decorating, I am far from it. I also
feel guilty that I am sounding so ungrateful for all her hard work.
how do I say thank you without telling her how disappointed I am or maybe even losing her friendship.

First of all, I can't imagine GIVING away centerpiece cakes........they're SO MUCH MORE work than even a tiered cake!!!

Sounds to me like your friend had great intentions and just bit off more than she could chew.

Whether you're actually grateful to her for her generosity or not, you need to sound like you are! Sometimes when I feel sad/depressed I pretend I'm happy and in a good mood and after a while....I realize.......I AM in a good mood! I suggest you do the same!


I would send a thank you note that went something like this:

(Friend's name),

I am still blown away by the generosity you displayed by GIVING us all of those cakes for NOTHING! I know that you spent a LOT of money for ingredients, and probably spent the better part of a WEEK preparing all of these cakes, for which you receieved nothing! I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful friend than you, and couldn't have imagined anyone else playing such a huge part in my granddaughter's special day. Thank you again for everything that you did to help make the party a success!

Signed,

(You)


If she knows her cakes stunk, this will act as a guilt trip, if she tried her best she'll be glad it was appreciated........either way..............you remain a loyal friend and show kindness the way a real friend should!

I think KHalstead summed it up perfectly. And in the future, politely decline any offers of a gift of cake from this friend, saying, "I know how hard you worked on my daughter's birthday and I would love for you to just be able to relax and enjoy the festivities this time."

While you're disappointed with the quality of the cakes, you value her friendship. Sometimes our friends do things that hurt us or let us down - the quality of being a great friend when this happens is the ability to overlook and forgive.

did the friend demand that you let her make the cakes?? Or was she asked to make them for free??

I only ask because you have beautiful cakes on your website, so it's obvious that you have the talent to have pulled them off.

I hope that she is not a CC member!

I don't believe she is a CC member. I could not put everything in this post she did for me for that day which is why I feel guilty... except for the fact that everyone who attended knows what I do and made comments about the cakes.

She offered, I told her as well as many other friends that unlike in the hispanic culture (which I am) to seek sponsors for each part, our family wanted to pay for it all because of just this. I have a group of friends that we come together to help out with such events.

I agree it is a.l.o.t.... of work. I am so every grateful for all she did, I just needed some advice on how to word it so she will know she will always be my friend.

And I thank you dear CC friends for your help.

Not a problem, I can imagine how disheartening it was to see the cakes looking less than perfect.........but honestly..................true...good...friends.........are so few and far between these days, I'd take a friend over a perfect party cake ANY DAY!! Sounds like you've got a good one (don't wanna risk that).


If her cakes are normally very well done, chances are she already knows that she dropped the ball. There are times when a friend NEEDS to be brutally honest and there are other times when it's best to point out the positive........I belive this is one of those times where you need to point out the positives to your friend. (I guarantee she felt worse about the way the cakes looked than you did)

KHalstead, I think your advice is just perfect! If I was the one making that cake and knew myself that it wasn't acceptable enough, then I'd be having guilt feelings for days, even months! But I'd apologize though, if it were me. (that's the difference )
Hope you get to send your message across auntginn. At least you know whom not to ask for help on the cake-making category now. Just kidding! I wish your friendship well...

Just want to update everyone. I went out and bought a Thank you card, conveyed my gratitude, bought her a small gift as well and went to see her. Needless to say she was so happy to see me and welcomed the thank you gifts. Yes she acknowledged that it was not her finest work. I just let her know that it was not something to lose our friendship over and we are still good friends.

thank you for your advice all, I appreciate it.