... I almost ate my pan grease! lol
I was busy baking tonight and opened up some vanilla yogurt for a snack. I obviously wasn't paying attention because I took a large spoonful of my homemade pan grease and got about an inch away from my mouth before realizing my mistake. That would have been a shocker. 
Thought you guys would appreciate that. 
One time my mom came over to watch me decorate and she took a swipe at what she thought was leftover icing and said "I just ate crisco, didn't I?" Yuck. 
that reminds me..............last year while working at my kids' school ( I was working with 7th and 8th graders) and this girl's parents were going away for 2 weeks and i agreed to have her come stay with us for the 2 weeks.
i was decorating cakes and she was VERY interested (she was 15 at the time) and kept saying, isn't it hard for you to NOT eat the frosting? I was like......nah......sometimes I get sick just smelling it!
Like an hr. later she says........can I have just a little taste of the frosting??? I was done decorating and had a small bowl of pink icing with less than a TBLSP in the bowl..........I said.......sure, theres a bowl on the counter with a little leftover icing in it ........help yourself!
She went in the kitchen and I hear.........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............UGHHHH.....GAAGGGGGGGGGG.........GROOOOOSSSSs
I went running in the kitchen to see her spitting out white frosting in the trash. i said.......what, what's wrong?? She said.........your frosting is gross!!!
i looked in the trash and said THAT IS NOT FROSTING..........THAT IS CRISCO!!!
Soooooooooooo nasty!!!
Oh and here's another gross one that will stick with me for eternity!!!! When I was 15, I was away the whole day at a karate tournament, when it was over and we got back to our dojo, the instructor had us run 3 miles barefoot around town in 90 degree weather because one of the kids mouthed off on the car ride back home......so we all got to run.
Anyhow, i came home (walked home) and went to the kitchen as i was VERY thirsty! my mom was standing there doing dishes and asked how the tournament went, I was like..........i'm DYING of thirst......she continues washing dishes....and i see a 2 liter of Coca Cola on the counter! I pick it up, it's room temp....oh well I'm DYING here.......I start to chug the bottle, my mom turns to me and sees me chugging and her eyes pop out of her head she goes to grab the bottle and I move away and continue chugging (I'm gagging right now just thinking about this by the way)........all of a sudden my throat burns, i pull the bottle down and get this gut wrenching taste in my mouth. i look at my mom and immediately run to the nearest container (garbage) and begin vomitting. in between vomits i say.......what was that???????????
My mom's answer??????????
THE OLD GREASE FROM THE DEEP FRYER!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah!!!!!
In a similar vein, while in college as an entomology major, I was studying some large black beetles (about 2" in length) under a binocular microscope. I was totally engrossed in what I was observing. At my desk, among other beetle specimens, was a chocolate candy bar I had been snacking on. Yeah, you can anticipate me here: What I reached for and very nearly took a big bite of was NOT the chocolate. Moral: it pays to look before you bite!
Well I am glad I am not the only one! KHalstead that is SO gross! You poor thing! I think we've all learned our lesson
believe me I've learned mine! My kids always accuse me of wasting soda, because I'll open a can and get busy and when I find it, I give the can a little shake and if I don't hear fizzing it goes DOWN the drain! They're like...........it's only 20 min. old! You waste soda! I tell them, I have NO IDEA what could possibly be IN that can! They're always like ........oh come on.....what ELSE could be in that can??????/ YOU DON"T WANNA KNOW!!
Not to mention I grew up with a mom that smoked and liked to use empty (or even ones she THOUGHT were empty) soda cans as an ashtray......YUP...learned THAT lesson the hard way too!!!!!
Got a couple for ya!
When I was quite young I was at a party with a friend who'd had a bit too much to drink. She took a handful of 'Twiglets' from a bowl (any Brits reading will know that these are savoury snacks that look a bit like twigs, hence the name). She tossed them in her mouth before realising she'd actually taken a handful of cigarette butts from the ashtray. Mmmm, tasty!
The other one was a near-miss. My daughter was a newborn and her umbilical cord stump had just fallen off as I was changing her. I put it aside meaning to flush it or something. My husband came upstairs eating a currant bun and chatting away. He absently picked up the little black shrivelled thing and was about to eat it, thinking it was a currant from his snack! I was able to stop him in time, but we still laugh about it.
oooh I have another one, when I was in HS my BFF and I were at a party and I had a milkshake from MCdonalds and had finished it, then later we were talking and I had a cold and started laughing and then started coughing and coughed up ...ahemm....you know........well I spit it into the empty milkshake cup......not 2 minutes later my BFF picks up the cup and starts to drink from it.......I saw her and yelled from across the room......nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............she looks up and gets a sour look on her face and says......what???......what is this???? I said......"I hockered in that cup!"
My BFF, me, and 12 of our other friends spent the next 30 minutes vomitting into every trashcan, sink, plastic bag, etc. we could find!!!!!!!!!
She still gags whenever someone mentions it today!! Now THAT is nasty!!
You are so right. I don't think ANYONE can top that!
Ewww, KHalstead! Now that one's real nasty alright...
Not to mention I grew up with a mom that smoked and liked to use empty (or even ones she THOUGHT were empty) soda cans as an ashtray......YUP...learned THAT lesson the hard way too!!!!!
I used to smoke about 10yrs ago. I was at a friends house and she didn't have any ash trays so I was using a coke can. Her BF was drinking a coke and I sat my can down next to his and he picked mine up and drank it!
oooh I have another one, when I was in HS my BFF and I were at a party and I had a milkshake from MCdonalds and had finished it, then later we were talking and I had a cold and started laughing and then started coughing and coughed up ...ahemm....you know........well I spit it into the empty milkshake cup......not 2 minutes later my BFF picks up the cup and starts to drink from it
When my sister was about 6 or 7 she was drinking sprite in a glass, it went down wrong and she started coughing and spit what was in her mouth in the glass. She put the glass down and continued watching t.v. Then picks up the glass to take a drink and I said "eww gross" She said "What? it's mine!"
This is not as bad as the hocker story, but in my early 20's, I was just starting to learn how to "behave" at company lunches with clients. I was at a company dinner and thought it odd that they sat my dish of ice cream by my plate so early in the meal. It was a small dish .... about the size of a large cookie scoop, but a nice little dessert size.
Toward the end of the meal, I mentioned to my friend sitting next to me (thank god it wasn't the customer we were entertaining!) "I'm amazed how long that ice cream is holding up!"
She grinned and leaned in real close and said, "I think that's the butter."
Ooops!! 
I'm at least SO glad I didn't take a big 'ole spoonful of it during dinner!
I played a trick on my family once. We had a 1 gallon jug of BBQ sauce that was 1/2 empty, so I poured it into an empty 2 liter soda bottle so it would fit in the refrigerator. I made sure to tell everyone that I poured a can of V-8 juice into it. The next day they asked me to repeat what it was because they looked confused and thought maybe they weren't listening. I heard they poured some into their glasses (thought it was thick) and tasted it, but quickly spit it out. (wish I could have seen it, but it was still funny... not sure if they trust me anymore!)
Indydebi...Your story reminds me of a friend's first experience in a fancy restaurant. She wondered at the little bowl of water with the lemon slice in it. Yup, she drank the finger bowl.
DH and I went to a REALLY nice sushi restaurant (neither of us had EVER tried it before), we each ordered 1 round of sushi (neither of us liked it and we spent $85!!!!!!)..........anyhow......DH went to the bathroom and the Japanese lady brought me a hot towel in a bowl. I had an incling that I was supposed to wipe my hands with it but I wasn't sure and she just stood there.........I didn't want to insult her by wiping my hands on it if that's not what it was for. So I decided to just sit there and wait for DH to come back........well, she stood there for 5 minutes and then took the bowl with the towel and said "Americans don't wash their hands before they eat now??? and stormed off!!
I was sooooooooooooo embarassed!! She must have thought I was just disgusting!
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