This Has Me Totally Freaking Out...

Decorating By mrsbriggs06 Updated 20 May 2010 , 6:04pm by mrsbriggs06

mrsbriggs06 Posted 20 May 2010 , 5:31am
post #1 of 17

long story short--
a friend asked me last year to do her wedding & groom's cake. she's had my cake at about 6 different events since then, plus i did a tasting for her of the flavors she wanted to use for her cake(s).

all the paperwork is signed, deposits were paid... final payment has been made... everything is great... until tonight..

I'm up late making this week's cakes and she had posted earlier on facebook "only 1 more day until i can check the forcast for my wedding day".... there were numerous replies & then out of the blue a facebook user who I had never seen respond to any of her wedding related status updates says "Congratulations! Let me know if you need a cake".

Come to find out he has EIGHT olympic culinary gold metals, has made a cake for Queen Elizabeth II, etc etc etc...

He likely knows her from serving in the military with her father....

This has me completely shaken.

As a friend, I want to say "if he's going to gift you a cake or give you some ridiculous discount you can afford b/c of your dad, you'd be nuts not to take him up on it-- I'll do the groom's cake" In the interest of business, I'd have to allow her to go against everything we signed..

Her wedding is not huge-- only around 120 tops.. Her cake design is 'simple' (lol).. it's the martha stewart sea glass cake (3 tiers/square/ with 3 rows of colored circles on each tier), so it doesn't necessarily warrant a classically trained chef-- but I can't help but feel completely freaked by this.

Would you send her a note as a friend? Or keep your mouth shut?

16 replies
Bluehue Posted 20 May 2010 , 5:49am
post #2 of 17

Keep your mouth shut - truely.

Hmmm, was it *her* facebook page?

Either way - why back out of a signed contract just becasue HE has come along with his *i'll do your cake"
Pfffttttt - where was he when she was looking for a caker?

Just ignore what you saw on FB - and continue with the plans and contract.

Hell - no way would i be loosing money because of his late *i'll do it, i'll do it*

Bluehue. icon_smile.gif

princesscris Posted 20 May 2010 , 6:17am
post #3 of 17

Your friend has no way of knowing that you've seen his comment or that you know he's a cake guru. I wouldn't offer anything at this stage - just wait and see if she asks to cancel the order. If she does, then you'll need to work out what you're comfortable with. Until then, it's up to her.


mrsbriggs06 Posted 20 May 2010 , 6:19am
post #4 of 17

yes-- he posted on her fb page.. she hasn't seen it yet.

it was bad enough having the 'my 1st wedding cake' jitters (though the topsy turvy i did was probably more servings than her wedding & groom's cake will be combined!)....

but really.. my first thought was-- "what bride would NOT have a cake with 10 days to go?!"

i look at his work & i'm in awe.

i do realize though, that culinary school & 22 years of experience come at a price she can likely not afford... but like i said--I'm fairly sure he knows her dad....

but really.. what does she say to him? "no thanks-- i'm going to turn you down despite your amazing background b/c i have a friend doing it" (who learned all she knows about cake from Google & CC b/c with 3 kids she doesn't have time for a cake class!)

...hrmph. & i thought a local well loved grocery store bakery was my biggest worry when I started out!

edited to add:
i commented on that same status (earlier in the day, which is how i got notified this person commented). of course, since he mentioned cake, I looked at his page.. realized his name began with the title "Chef", and did some googling....
so-- it wouldn't take much reaching on her part to think I had seen the reply.. but you're both right..

Bluehue Posted 20 May 2010 , 6:30am
post #5 of 17

Breath in - breath out - breath in - breath out..... icon_lol.gif

As you said - what bride hasn't organised her wedding cake with 10 days to go?..................Welll an unorganised bride icon_rolleyes.gif

Don't stress - you have you contract - her signiture -
As i said - where was he when she was looking for a *caker*

Come to think of it -
he didn't actually type let me know if you want a *FREE cake" so don't stress.


noahsmummy Posted 20 May 2010 , 6:56am
post #6 of 17

hmm yeah; if hes a good chef, and kows her well, hed probably know that she most definantley would have a cake organised by now.. im thinking he just offered to be nice.. but really has no intention of making a cake... you know how you offer to do something just to be nice and friendly, but you know they wont actually take you up on the offer?

Bluehue Posted 20 May 2010 , 7:17am
post #7 of 17
Originally Posted by noahsmummy

hmm yeah; if hes a good chef, and kows her well, hed probably know that she most definantley would have a cake organised by now.
correct thumbs_up.gif.
im thinking he just offered to be nice.. but really has no intention of making a cake... you know how you offer to do something just to be nice and friendly, but you know they wont actually take you up on the offer?
i am thinking he was way xxxxy with his prices - and thats why she didn't consider sking him thumbs_up.gificon_wink.gificon_lol.gif


Ren715 Posted 20 May 2010 , 7:43am
post #8 of 17

I think this depends on what type of friends you are to each other. I would talk to her about it. She may not even be considering him or maybe she is thinking that this could be a once in a lifetime offer. You won't know until you talk it over with her. Even though she has a contract with you, you must ask yourself, "What would YOU want if it was the other way around?" Once you answer that question you will know the right thing to do.

Bunsen Posted 20 May 2010 , 8:31am
post #9 of 17

He's so good and in demand he can do a cake with only 10 days notice? I think he was offering to be polite knowing full well she wouldn't ask him to do it.

If I was the bride I wouldn't want the hassle (and expense) of changing any of my suppliers this close to the wedding - especially if one was a trusted friend whose product I knew and liked. Hopefully your friend will feel the same - I wouldn't respond to the facebook comment, let her deal with it.

kermitncupcake Posted 20 May 2010 , 8:49am
post #10 of 17

Im not sure if Id talk to her or not. Maybe wait and see what she writes back??
Either way, unless you have a "sure, Ill give you yur money back because youv decided to change decorators 10 days before the wedding" clause in your contract, I wouldnt be refunding the full amount, if any.

aprilblack Posted 20 May 2010 , 10:39am
post #11 of 17

I agree with Bunsen... if he is THAT good, how can he just offer to do a wedding cake iwth only ten days in advance?? Come on now.. I would not say a word and deal with it if it comes up.

mrsbriggs06 Posted 20 May 2010 , 11:37am
post #12 of 17

well.. i imagine he can offer with such short notice b/c he's retired but employed part time... he was also the culinary teacher at her high school & as I piece everything together, she did tell me at one point that he was an avid doctored mix user (lol! at that time she mentioned nothing about his classic training or amazingness)

she didn't reply to his post, & updated her status this morning.

she did come to my page & compliment my new hair color, though, lol!

so i IM'd her & said:
"by the way: uhm-- WOW. think you can hook me up with some lessons from the chef?! his work is CRAZY awesome!"

& she simply replied:
"I could ask....he loves to educate
He is really a wonderful person and an excellent chef. He makes things look so easy!"

then stated she was leaving for work! ...& i let her know i was joking about lessons... icon_surprised.gif)

i guess it may have been many things...
an offer without real weight from him..
knowledge of his pricing by her...
or the simple fact that her wedding cake is a truly simple style and her groom's cake more in my realm than his...

thanks for talking me down.... when I began caking, I swore I'd never touch a wedding cake and she had to do quite a bit of talking before I'd consider hers! So, I guess I'm just easily freaked now that we're 10 days out...

dalis4joe Posted 20 May 2010 , 1:19pm
post #13 of 17

Don't say anything.... she probably knew he made cakes even before she talked to you..but she wanted YOU to make her cake not HIM.... so no note.... no: "IOt;s okay if you want to go with joe schmoe" you make you cake and make your cake like u always do... the very best....

GOod Luck... icon_smile.gif

PS... Never let a title intimidate you.....

cheatize Posted 20 May 2010 , 2:39pm
post #14 of 17

If she wanted him to do the cake, she'd have asked him. She asked you, she wants you to do it. You have no personal experience with his cakes. You don't know if maybe they look great but taste like dust. Perhaps he's a control freak and she wouldn't get the cake she wanted if she let him be involved. There's a ton of possible reasons. She asked you, she wants you.

I think you're just having a confidence mini-melt down. You can do this! Rah, rah, and all that stuff. LOL

Jenny0730 Posted 20 May 2010 , 4:22pm
post #15 of 17

I agree that he was probably just being nice. He has to know that she would already have a cake lined up.

I wouldn't say anything. It may come across as you not wanting to do her cake. That could possibly hurt her feelings or stress her out because it looks like you are trying to back down.

all4cake Posted 20 May 2010 , 4:48pm
post #16 of 17

He baked a cake for Queen Elizabeth II or on the Queen Elizabeth II ? Just curious...

mrsbriggs06 Posted 20 May 2010 , 6:04pm
post #17 of 17
Originally Posted by all4cake

He baked a cake for Queen Elizabeth II or on the Queen Elizabeth II ? Just curious...

Served at Buckingham Palace.

while he was in the service it appears. & yes, there's a pic of him with her as well.

but like everyone said-- she picked me & i'm going with it... icon_biggrin.gif i'm sure it's for many of the reasons everyone said, & i did think about the fact that questioning may make her feel like i don't want to do her cake,which couldn't be further from the truth


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