sometimes i really want to inform clients

Business By love2makecakes Updated 4 Jun 2010 , 3:08am by Mabma80

love2makecakes Posted 6 May 2010 , 10:45pm
post #31 of 127

Those are some of the craziest things i have ever heard! seriously pay for you cake???

alcohol okay. i had my guest pay for mixed drinks but beer, wine and soda were free.

buy your own food??? wth where those people thinking? I would have walked up to them gift in hand and said sorry i was going to give you this great great, but i have to return it now to afford the meal. have a great married life!

hey, ive got an idea! maybe one of the bridesmaids can sit at the bathroom door and take $5/bathroom use for the honeymoon fund!

some peoples kids...

indydebi Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:07pm
post #32 of 127

Mrs-A you've really got to submit your wedding story to www.etiquettehell.com ! It qualifies. It really qualifies!!

Elcee Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:08pm
post #33 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by SPCC


I went to a wedding that had a cash only bar you had to pay for everything except water. (bride/Groom didn't inform anyone) Needless to say my hubs and I got 1 beer and a glass of wine and spent 12 dollars.




Where I come from anything but a cash bar is almost unheard of. I think I've only been to 1 wedding in my life that didn't have a cash bar and that one was only open through dinner and then you had to pay. I always expect to pay for beverages at a wedding. It certainly helps keep people from drinking too much! icon_smile.gif

indydebi Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:16pm
post #34 of 127

what I always warned brides about in reference to cash or open bar was that if they were providing free alcohol in any form, then they really needed to be sure to provide PLENTY of free soft drinks for non-drinkers. Nothing pi$$es off a guest more than to be at an event where ".....you could drink all the BEER you wanted but if you WEREN'T an alcoholic, then it was gonna cost ya!"

Actually had a bride do this .... back when I first got started. She had a wine punch (and I spent most of the night keeping the kids out of the punch bowl!) and free beer and wine. But non drinking guests had to BUY cokes at the VFW bar. And let me tell you, they were absolutely PO'd about it!!

dm321 Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:23pm
post #35 of 127

i have a feeling that anyone who only wants to pay $1 per serving of wedding cake would grossly miss the point of inviting less guests in order to afford a more expensive one... If they were only inviting 25 people, they'd only be willing to pay $25 for the cake.

Id let them know in the sweetest way possible (ha!) that, "although I hate to miss out on being a part of your special day, I just dont have any cakes that come in the One-Dollar-Design, the One-Dollar-Size, or the One-Dollar-Flavor" icon_biggrin.gif

icon_lol.gif diem

indydebi Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:26pm
post #36 of 127

diem! you mean you don't have a dollar-menu like all the fast food joints? I'm shocked! icon_surprised.gif

icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

newmansmom2004 Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:42pm
post #37 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by KHalstead

I've even heard of people that were charging a "cover charge" for their reception...stating that it was to offset the cost of the alcohol being served (but even people that don't drink had to pay it to get in).....can you imagine being CHARGED to attend someone's wedding AND then feeling compelled to give them a gift??? HA! Yeah right!




That would be a real easy RSVP - "Sorry, would love to come but between the bridal shower gift and the wedding gift, I can't afford it."

newmansmom2004 Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:50pm
post #38 of 127

((THUD))

Sorry - that was me falling over in disbelief after reading some of these tacky stories!! I can't imagine being that cheap or tacky. Ay ay ay ay ay!

indydebi Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:57pm
post #39 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmansmom2004

((THUD))

Sorry - that was me falling over in disbelief after reading some of these tacky stories!! I can't imagine being that cheap or tacky. Ay ay ay ay ay!



I'm telling ya .. you've GOT to check out www.etiquettehell.com . Stories on there that make these look like Emily Post. icon_eek.gif

newmansmom2004 Posted 7 May 2010 , 12:22am
post #40 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by newmansmom2004

((THUD))

Sorry - that was me falling over in disbelief after reading some of these tacky stories!! I can't imagine being that cheap or tacky. Ay ay ay ay ay!

I'm telling ya .. you've GOT to check out www.etiquettehell.com . Stories on there that make these look like Emily Post. icon_eek.gif




LOL - OK, Debi, that very first post on etiquettehell was SO bizarre and un-freaking-believable that I can't imagine anything topping that one!!!

Jayde Posted 7 May 2010 , 12:47am
post #41 of 127

I have one to add to the mix.

A couple of years ago we were invited to a small wedding of a friend that my husband knew in high school. Nevermind the fact that we hadnt seen or heard from him in 6 years, still no clue how he found our address.

Posh invites, very expensive with a separate card inviting us to the reception. Printed on the bottom underneath the time and place it stated that we were required to bring a bottle of "top shelf" liquor to donate to the reception. Then in tiny print underneath that it said "No cheap alcohol please"

icon_eek.gif I think we brought a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20

newmansmom2004 Posted 7 May 2010 , 1:18am
post #42 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayde

I have one to add to the mix.

A couple of years ago we were invited to a small wedding of a friend that my husband knew in high school. Nevermind the fact that we hadnt seen or heard from him in 6 years, still no clue how he found our address.

Posh invites, very expensive with a separate card inviting us to the reception. Printed on the bottom underneath the time and place it stated that we were required to bring a bottle of "top shelf" liquor to donate to the reception. Then in tiny print underneath that it said "No cheap alcohol please"

icon_eek.gif I think we brought a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20




Too funny - glad you heeded the advice and went with a "top shelf" liquor!! icon_razz.gif I got sick on that stuff one New Year's Eve years ago and have never had it since!

mcaulir Posted 7 May 2010 , 1:31am
post #43 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by love2makecakes

do you have those clients where you just want to point out to them that their wedding guest are going to come and give them a $50 gift and they are telling me they do not want to do favors (to save money of course) and want to spend as little as possible for a slice of cake to save money ($1/slice to be exact)? sometimes i just want to say, why dont you just invite less people and give them some fabulous cake to go with the expensive meal you are already providing?




I love wedding favors, but I know many people really don't, and either leave them at the wedding or throw them away once they get home. We did simple wrapped chocolates thinking that at least people will eat those: half were left at the wedding. I can't really fault people for wanting to save money in that area.

I know this isn't the majority opinion on a cake board icon_smile.gif, but the cake really wasn't a huge deal for our wedding. We served four courses, including dessert, before the cake, so it was really only a tradition thing for us. I didn't allocate a huge portion of my budget to cake. Of course, I didn't want more than my budget allowed!

tesso Posted 7 May 2010 , 1:43am
post #44 of 127

IMO there are only two things at a wedding that people remember. 1. what the bride was wearing. 2. What the cake looked and tasted like.

and the above is what I usually tell brides. I ask them to remember the last wedding they went to. and the cake and dress are the first thing that comes to their mind.

Some reply with OMG you are so right. Others reply with Oh No!! let me call you back after I adjust the budget. Then some just dont care, they want to skimp. icon_lol.gif

rosiecast Posted 7 May 2010 , 3:48am
post #45 of 127

Tesso- I always remember what the food tasted like too. LOL

love2makecakes Posted 7 May 2010 , 3:55am
post #46 of 127

Before I started making cakes I never really cared about the cake. Now that is the first thing I look for at a wedding. It is funny too how my friends all text me pictures of other peoples wedding cakes just to show me all the good and bad out there. ha!

At one wedding I had some buttercream that I could not figure out what it was but loved it!!! i finally asked my friend's sister what the icing was and she told me it was called Swiss Meringue Buttercream. I was turned on by it I started making it myself! I am so glad I had that cake, I may have never known!

Oh yes, I will always remember a good or bad meal!

Mrs-A Posted 7 May 2010 , 4:00am
post #47 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by love2makecakes

Before I started making cakes I never really cared about the cake. .....!




im the opposite - heck i can remember the cake from hubbys best buddys wedding 11yrs ago but i cant remember the style of the brides dress or what colour bridesmaids wore..... in fact as they seperated within a year of the wedding it actually took me a minute or 2 to remember the brides name but i remember the cake, pretty sure i ate at least 2 slices of it too icon_redface.gif

KHalstead Posted 7 May 2010 , 12:46pm
post #48 of 127

you know I actually have a GREAT BTB and GTB story. I have a bride and groom scheduled for a May 22nd wedding and the way they determined their budget on things like cake, food, hall, favors, etc. was they each made a list of the top 3 most important things to THEM on their wedding day.

Then they sat down with both lists and said #1-Has to be achieved, #2-we should REALLY try to achieve, #3 would be nice to achieve.

Her list was as follows- #1-dress
#2-cake
#3-food

His list was #1-2 guests who were dear to him that couldn't afford to come out of state

#2- good food
#3- he didn't care! lol

So they took their budget and determined the most money would be budgeted for flying in and housing the GTB 2 good friends and for her dress.

Then they allocated the next largest sum to the food and cake!

They wound up getting the back room of their FAVORITE italian restaurant (the restaurant is providing the food) and the restaurant is allowing them the use of the room, tables, linens, silveryware, etc. at no charge above and beyond the food (which is their favorite food)

They ordered a smallish cake........enough to serve about 100 ppl.

But I thought it was so cool that they really went into the wedding planning knowing what was MOST important to each of them!!

Oh and they're not charging their guests for a thing! lol Including allowing guests to order what they want at the restaurant (the restaurant quoted them a per person charge that covers anything on their menu, very cool)

carmijok Posted 7 May 2010 , 1:38pm
post #49 of 127

I worked for a bakery that did my daughter's wedding cake (score..discount!!). Part of my duties was tastings. I would sit with the bride and sometimes her entire wedding party. One of the first questions I would ask is if there would be additional food and drink served at the reception and if so, what kind?

If the answer was yes then we'd have a better idea of how much cake to prepare. The more food (heavy appetizers or full meals) and alcohol served, the less cake people will eat and the less the emphasis is on the cake. The bride can budget for a beautiful smaller cake and if she is still worried about quantity, she can have sheet cakes at the ready (less expensive) to fill in.

My daughter's cake was beautiful and yummy and I thought we had about the right amount, but our catered food was so delicious and the signature cocktails were so popular, we ended up with a ton of cake left. Not because it wasn't delicious (boy was it ever), but because everyone had filled up on our other goodies.

When cake is the primary food, then the bride had better budget more for that than just about anything beyond her dress and reception venue because that is what people will be remembering. Practically everyone who was at my daughter's wedding raved about the catered food...but many had bypassed the cake just for that reason!

Those that did eat the cake were duly impressed... but it was not the star of the reception. The cake's design was however noticed and appreciated more than it's consumption. Thank goodness for my employee discount! icon_biggrin.gif

Melvira Posted 7 May 2010 , 1:45pm
post #50 of 127

Ok, actually, I DO make wedding potatoes! icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif Not to be argumentative at all, I totally agree with the point of what was said, but I have a dish that I actually call "Wedding Potatoes"! Just thought that was funny.

I catered my own wedding, did all the decorations, cake, everything with a little help from my mom and sister. I did it on a shoestring budget, only invited about 75 people, but my MIL to be supplied me with a list of people that I was supposed to invite on HER behalf. One of them was her daughters old college roommate. icon_eek.gif Her excuse was that these people had invited her to their kids weddings, and the roommate hadn't been seen in a while, it would be a good chance to get back in touch for SIL. icon_surprised.gif Are you effing joking? At one point I had to tell her that this was MY wedding.

But about five years after my wedding I bumped into someone that had been there, and she smiled and said, "You know what I remember about your wedding? The food! That was the first wedding I had been to where all the food was actually delicious!" Then she blushed and mumbled something about how I had looked beautiful of course. Blah, don't lie to me, the food was GOOD! I should know, I made it!! icon_lol.gif That doesn't offend me.

I am wicked irritated by people who try to make a wedding a chance to cash in. Dollar dances, selling kisses, T-A-C-K-Y. I mean, we're already giving you gifts that YOU picked out! But I'm also saddened by people who spend so much on their wedding that they start their marriage with 50k of debt and nothing to show for it but a marriage license. I think in general we all need to learn to live within our means. (P.S. That means ME too!) icon_cry.gif

emrldsky Posted 7 May 2010 , 1:46pm
post #51 of 127

Ok, I have a story.

A couple of years ago, DH's good friend got married. The wedding was nice, reception was beautiful, food was good, but no cake. I figured they'd have a dessert table, no biggie.

Come to find out (from the wedding planner, where my in-laws were seated), the bride decided not to have cake because she's diabetic. icon_confused.gif Anyway, the dessert was Banana's Foster (GAG! I HATE HATE HATE bananas as a dessert, with my only exception being warm banana bread).

I figured, "Well, ok. Odd, but ok."

Until I saw the giant piece of chocolate cake sitting on a plate, untouched, in front of the bride's seat.

Then I got mad. I about walked over to the table at the end of the night and grabbed the plate.

I just wanted some cake, really. icon_cry.gif

7yyrt Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:10pm
post #52 of 127

Odd. Perhaps someone at the venue figured there must be cake somewhere at a wedding and tried to help by putting a slice at the brides place?

emrldsky Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:16pm
post #53 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by 7yyrt

Odd. Perhaps someone at the venue figured there must be cake somewhere at a wedding and tried to help by putting a slice at the brides place?




Nope, it was for her. This bride had been diagnosed as Type II diabetic about two years prior (unusual for her age, as she was in her mid-20s), but she cheated all the time.

She tended to use her diabetes as an excuse to do what she wanted. If she didn't want to have a cake for her guests, that's fine, but admit to it! Don't hide behind the excuse when it was clearly that.

Oh well. I'm over it. Maybe. A little bit. Ok, might still be a tad bitter..... icon_lol.gif

Melvira Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:39pm
post #54 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by emrldsky


Nope, it was for her. This bride had been diagnosed as Type II diabetic about two years prior (unusual for her age, as she was in her mid-20s), but she cheated all the time.

She tended to use her diabetes as an excuse to do what she wanted. If she didn't want to have a cake for her guests, that's fine, but admit to it! Don't hide behind the excuse when it was clearly that.

Oh well. I'm over it. Maybe. A little bit. Ok, might still be a tad bitter..... icon_lol.gif




I was diagnosed a few months before turning 29, just a few months before my wedding. I still had cake. I wasn't even a caker then, but it wasn't a yes or no thing. Weddings have cakes. Correction... GOOD weddings have cake. Hehehe. It's not JUST about the bride... it's about one of the few things that people truly expect at a wedding. If there hadn't been cake, I'd have been rended limb from limb I'm certain. icon_lol.gif I don't blame you from being bitter! icon_cry.gif

By the way, type 2 diabetes sucks monkey!! I can't eat all the stuff I make! Sure, little bites of 'cheat' here and there, but since my body can't process sugar, more than a bite and I'm sick as heck. Ok, on the grand scale, it's not the 'worst that could happen' but once upon a time I thought that if I coudn't eat sugar I'd surely die! What saved me was that I found out that if I didn't eat sugar, I didn't have to be fat. It really took years for a competent doctor to figure this out? So now I have a human's body and just look at the pretty cakes. I guess it's a fair trade. (Maybe? icon_cry.gif )

erinalicia Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:40pm
post #55 of 127

I design invitations and announcements and did a wedding invitation for a couple last year. They ordered 150 invitations and what shocked me the most was that they insisted that I put "no boxed gifts" at the bottom of the reception information. I had never heard of doing something like that.

emrldsky Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:43pm
post #56 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

Quote:
Originally Posted by emrldsky


Nope, it was for her. This bride had been diagnosed as Type II diabetic about two years prior (unusual for her age, as she was in her mid-20s), but she cheated all the time.

She tended to use her diabetes as an excuse to do what she wanted. If she didn't want to have a cake for her guests, that's fine, but admit to it! Don't hide behind the excuse when it was clearly that.

Oh well. I'm over it. Maybe. A little bit. Ok, might still be a tad bitter..... icon_lol.gif



I was diagnosed a few months before turning 29, just a few months before my wedding. I still had cake. I wasn't even a caker then, but it wasn't a yes or no thing. Weddings have cakes. Correction... GOOD weddings have cake. Hehehe. It's not JUST about the bride... it's about one of the few things that people truly expect at a wedding. If there hadn't been cake, I'd have been rended limb from limb I'm certain. icon_lol.gif I don't blame you from being bitter! icon_cry.gif

By the way, type 2 diabetes sucks monkey!! I can't eat all the stuff I make! Sure, little bites of 'cheat' here and there, but since my body can't process sugar, more than a bite and I'm sick as heck. Ok, on the grand scale, it's not the 'worst that could happen' but once upon a time I thought that if I coudn't eat sugar I'd surely die! What saved me was that I found out that if I didn't eat sugar, I didn't have to be fat. It really took years for a competent doctor to figure this out? So now I have a human's body and just look at the pretty cakes. I guess it's a fair trade. (Maybe? icon_cry.gif )




I hear you! I've seen my mom struggle for decades with her weight and then for the last few years with diabetes (Type II, hits every generation). I have to be careful now, or pay the price later.

Sorry, didn't mean to go off topic! icon_biggrin.gif

Melvira Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:47pm
post #57 of 127

Me neither, sorry! I know this thread isn't about that. icon_redface.gif Back to rude brides!! Wait, maybe diabetes is more fun to talk about... icon_confused.gif

weirkd Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:49pm
post #58 of 127

Well Im sure you've heard of the "A" and "B" list that is popular now. I think that is incredibly tacky as well. People now a days have no manners and clue. Half the time they're so busy trying to out do the Jones that they they dont consider peoples feelings or etiquette or what they have money for. You see wedding planners going threw the envelopes of money from their guests to pay for the vendors they used and couldnt afford.

In my opinion it should be about the marriage not about the extravagance. If your want your wedding to be Platinum and you have a minimal budget you invite the people you can afford to invite.

Most people do not get offended if their not invited to a wedding. Especially when its intimate family involved. Whats offending is when you invite every person you came in contact with and then give them a slap in the face for showing up. (ie: no food, drink). So doing it smaller will make the people you do invite feel special because their treated as GUESTS, not present donors!

Ive had my share of people that want a bargain cake and have a million dollar cake in mind. I had one family that wanted a three tiered cake, sheet cakes for 300 guests and wanted only to spend $200. They wanted to omit fillings, frostings and anything they possibly could to get that price.

They didnt care if it sacrificed taste or looks. I gave them what I could and because of the distance and temperature out I gave them more than what they paid for because I didnt want to sacrifice my reputation for the sake of their budget.

And in the end I didnt even get a thank you out of it. Lesson learned, wont do that again. So in the beginning I should of said this "Your budget is $200 and being that your wedding is in the middle of August and the venue is 2 hours away from me I do not feel comfortable not putting fondant on your cake. Red designs on buttercream in the heat will run which will look a mess by the time I get the cake there. I suggest that you do this.... for this price". And then stick to my guns!

kathik Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:52pm
post #59 of 127

I have to admit.....I didn't have a wedding cake at our reception. It wasn't that I didn't want one, it's just that we had been to about eight weddings over the previous year and every cake was AWFUL!!! icon_confused.gif This was way before I knew anything about cake, baking, decorating, etc. Those were the only weddings I had ever attended and some were quite expensive, so I just assumed all wedding cakes tasted horrible.

We were married in Hershey, PA, so a friend and I worked for days baking tons of the PB Blossom cookies (with the Hershey's kiss on them), and had those instead of cake. If only I'd known there were delicious tasting wedding cakes available!! icon_redface.gif

Oh, and we only had 50 people to our wedding, so we could do it "right" on our budget.

Kathi

emrldsky Posted 7 May 2010 , 2:54pm
post #60 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathik

I have to admit.....I didn't have a wedding cake at our reception. It wasn't that I didn't want one, it's just that we had been to about eight weddings over the previous year and every cake was AWFUL!!! icon_confused.gif This was way before I knew anything about cake, baking, decorating, etc. Those were the only weddings I had ever attended and some were quite expensive, so I just assumed all wedding cakes tasted horrible.

We were married in Hershey, PA, so a friend and I worked for days baking tons of the PB Blossom cookies (with the Hershey's kiss on them), and had those instead of cake. If only I'd known there were delicious tasting wedding cakes available!! icon_redface.gif

Oh, and we only had 50 people to our wedding, so we could do it "right" on our budget.

Kathi




Ah, but you didn't have a different dessert for you and your husband, did you? icon_wink.gif That was my issue! lol

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%