Has Anyone Been Through This Before?

Decorating By SugarNSpiceDiva Updated 15 May 2010 , 12:38pm by foxymomma521

SugarNSpiceDiva Posted 6 May 2010 , 8:04am
post #1 of 18

Hello everyone,

I wanted to come on here and see if anybody else had gone through this. I don't know any other cakers personally, so I think it's hard for people to understand where I'm coming from.

A few months ago, I posted a lot here on CC. I haven't posted in months, and only within the past couple of weeks, I started lurking again. I've loved baking all my life and a couple years ago decided I wanted to really get into the art of cakes. I don't have any schooling, training or even any Wilton classes. For a while, I was on it. I constantly practiced and researched, trying to teach myself the skills to do what I love. But something happened, and I just got this overwhelming feeling of discouragement.

It started a couple months ago. Aside from cakes, I'm a full time online student and a mom of four little girls and a step son. Handling school and dealing with "baby mama drama" has sort of pre-occupied my nerves, and I unwillingly put my love of baking on hold.

I still have those stresses, but cake decorating is actually a stress reliever for me. But I've just been so discouraged about it lately. I'm not as close to good as I want to be. And I know I need to practice, but everytime I try to do something, I get that overwhelming feeling of discouragement again.

It doesn't help we live in the middle of nowhere, and we don't kmnow many people, so there's not many times I can make a cake for someone else. I just don't understand why I'm feeling this way. Everytime I look at my cake tools or come on here, I get depressed I'm not doing as much as I'd like.

I'm not asking for a pity party or anything. I'm just confused why I feel this way, and wondering if anyone else has been through it, what happened, what you did and how you made it past it. I don't want to give up caking at all. I want to get past this whatever I'm in right now.

I hope it attaches. If it does, the cake below is the only cake I've made in months. It wasn't the best. It was for my daughter's 3rd birthday. I tried my hand at carving Gary, and I sculpted Spongebob from modeling chocolate, and his accents are either chocolate or fondant. It was sort of a rushed project. So when the some of the color's didn't come out right, there wasn't time to fix them. My husband said it was good, but he's biased. I look at it all the time and try to decide if it's possible for me to get the skills to make cakes even close to the works of art I've seen on here.

Sorry this is long. I talk too much. lol. I'm just wondering if this kind of thing is normal, or if I'm just weird.

I know it's late, and if you're still with me, thank you. lol. And also thank you for any advice you might have.
LL
LL

17 replies
milly-mel Posted 6 May 2010 , 8:33am
post #2 of 18

wow! i think that cake is great, your obv too hard on yourself! i feel like that every time i do a cake-like you i have no training and i have learned every thing from you tube then here on cc. my cakes are never pefect but i can see that with each 1 i do they are improving. i swore after my last one-which started out disasterous that i would never do another but by the time i finished it looked quiet good and every1 loved it so here i am looking for my next cake to do lol. i am aware this probably won't help but at least you know you are not the only one!!

de_montsoreau Posted 6 May 2010 , 8:47am
post #3 of 18

You are probably a perfectionist at heart and it seems to be very hard for you to deliver any work that you deem less then perfect. But you know, caking is your hobby, something you love doing and THAT is the thing that is important, not the end result. So maybe you can try to see the whole dilemma this way - you do something you enjoy doing.
Apart from that, your cake is great. You have set yourself a very high task with what you wanted to achieve (just covering Gary with fondant would have been too difficult for 99% of the population!). I am sure your daughter loved it!
And do not compare yourself with some of the others here - just remember that this site is the melting pot for some of the greatest cake artists in the world - it doesn't get any better than what you see on here. Being on here is like competing in the Olympics every day... and taking part is the main thing, not to be world champion!

Continue to enjoy what you do! All the best!

cardicleo Posted 6 May 2010 , 8:55am
post #4 of 18

I have felt like this a couple of times.
I have been cake decorating for six months and like you have had no training.

I think you have no confidance in your cake decorating and that maybe why you feel like you do. Your cake is really good and you should be very proud. You should see some of my first cakes, they would make you laugh.

Finding the time to relax, let alone make cakes must be hard. I use a dummy cake to practice on if I have no reason to bake a cake. It is just as satisfying to see it nicely decorated and to take a picture of, also you then have pics to show someone when they ask to look what you have done.
By using a dummy cake you can work on it a bit at a time, even if it takes weeks. After all no one is going to eat it.
My pics are on cardicard, I am using my daughters site as I am baby sitting for her and I can't remember my password.

Hope you feel better about it all soon.
icon_smile.gif

SugarNSpiceDiva Posted 6 May 2010 , 10:01am
post #5 of 18

Thank you all for the encouragement. It really does help. Also, thank you for the compliments on the cake. Ive been looking at it a lot lately, trying to see it the way my husband does without dwelling on every little (or big) imperfection.

Im relieved that, so far, nobody thinks Im totally off my rocker. Lol. Lately, Ive been trying to snap out of it and tell myself to just get over it already, and keep doing what I enjoy. Of course, its always easier to say it than do it. I admit that other factors are probably playing a role in all of this and caused me to be more emotional than usual. Im normally a very optimistic person.

My husband is deploying here in a few months. His only request for when he comes home for R&R is that I make him a hamburger cake (hes a hamburger junkie. Lol). So Im really hoping to be out of this rut and get the confidence up to make something hell like.

milly-mel: Thank you so much for the compliment! My husband says the same thing all the time. Good luck on your next cake!

de_montsoreau: You are right. I am a perfectionist. I get very bothered when something I set out to do doesnt turn out as planned. I know, not a very good trait. My mother always told me as a child she never understood why I was never satisfied. If I made a 99 on a test, I was upset I didnt make 100. Lol. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I am going to take your advice and try to see the entire process of caking, rather than just the final product. Normally, I have my mind set on what it will look like when it is done.

cardicleo: Thank you for your compliments as well. Time IS pretty scarce around here these days. Lol. I have cake dummies, but havent used them since Ive been off. The hubby is very supportive and has been telling me I should get them out. He says it will make me feel better. Lol.

Thank you all again. I hope I dont come off as woe is meish. Lol. Hopefully, I look back at myself one day and realize it wasnt as much as I made it out to be.

newbaker55 Posted 6 May 2010 , 10:05am
post #6 of 18

1. I do not have 4 kids and baby-mama-drama to interfere with my cake hobby.
2. I have a huge kitchen and lots of cake toys to play with.
3. I work a 4-day week so...3 day weekends= plenty of time to practice.

I STILL agonize over every tiny detail so badly that I don't feel my cakes are worthy of a look here on CC.

The point is, even though you have all that going on in your life, you manage to turn out cake that looks like that icon_surprised.gif

Sugar, keep on keepin' on. You do a great job thumbs_up.gif

cakes47 Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:06am
post #7 of 18

With everything on your plate, no wonder you've ''seemed'' to have lost interest!!! My good God girl,
I'd have gone crazy by now with all you have to deal with.
Your work is great!! Just keep practicing whenever you can. Make a cake a week for your desserts
if you have no one else to bake for. The kids will be grown up before you know it and then you'll
have tons of free cake time!!!
Please give your hubby a great big hug & a thank you from me and let him know prayers are there
for his safety.

cakemom42 Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:10am
post #8 of 18

You are not off your rocker, you are not a "bad" cake designer, you are not a rotten mom, & you are most of all not a horrible person..

You are a very caring mother (totally dedicated), you are a great cake desgner (self taught too!), you are over whelmed, and most of all you don't get enough time for yourself! Top all of that with being a military wife and you are just feeling alone, overwhelmed, & lost w/no suport....

I have been there & so understand all of these fellings...
A mother of 2 (1 yr apart & might as well be 4 if you count my DH's hunting dogs :0), a military wife, and owner of a cake business, I substitute at the local school district and am a dedicated volunteer in every community we live in. I had a professional career when I met my DH in uniform & gave it up for the life of PCS, stress, and loneliness.... When we PCS to Germany my daughter was 4 & my son 5... I felt much the same & another military wife took me in & taught me how to decorate cakes... Over the years I have had to put my cakes on hold and while it has been hard with each stage the kids grow thru I grew too and some where in the middle I went to culinary school and took my ICES certification test. There are rewards & they will come in time. Be patient with yourself as the end of this will come one day and you be glad you put family first.

Cakes come & go, there will always be another cake but only 1 first birthday, 1 1st words, and 1 prom (mine are teens now :0) Be sure to take time for yourself on a regular basis, even if it's a bubble bath or even a nap, don't wait for everything to build up. You will feel more close to your natural self and be a better person for your family (& for you :0)

Deployments bring with it a special set of stress as well and
this is probably what is bringing all these feelings on for you. You are not alone, even if you think you are... We are here and we go thru the same feelings... I can tell you you will make it and all will work out & you will acheive your dreams and still be a great mother, cake designer, & military wife :0)

We will hold you & your DH in pray as he deploys. Please feel free to PM me anytime you need to talk... I am always open for a fellow sister!! :0)

mim1106 Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:34am
post #9 of 18

From one military wife to another, hang in there! I make cakes all the time for my husband's unit. That is how I get my obsession out, LOL. Trust me, they won't turn them down! You will have a whole group of guys asking for your cakes.
Your husband is deploying soon, that in itself probably has you super emotional. I get all stressed right before my husband leaves, too! Find out who he is deploying with and get to know their wives. They are going to be your biggest support group! You could plan cake decorating parties with them while they are gone, and maybe some of the other wives has a talent that she may want to share as well. But, the important thing is you make those connections now. Bond with them, because like I said, they are going to be your biggest support system. I don't know what branch your husband is in, but in the AF, we have Key Spouses. They are the liason between the unit and the families. find out if your husband's unit has one. Hope this helps! You can PM me anytime!

mim1106 Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:42am
post #10 of 18

From one military wife to another, hang in there! I make cakes all the time for my husband's unit. That is how I get my obsession out, LOL. Trust me, they won't turn them down! You will have a whole group of guys asking for your cakes.
Your husband is deploying soon, that in itself probably has you super emotional. I get all stressed right before my husband leaves, too! Find out who he is deploying with and get to know their wives. They are going to be your biggest support group! You could plan cake decorating parties with them while they are gone, and maybe some of the other wives has a talent that she may want to share as well. But, the important thing is you make those connections now. Bond with them, because like I said, they are going to be your biggest support system. I don't know what branch your husband is in, but in the AF, we have Key Spouses. They are the liason between the unit and the families. find out if your husband's unit has one. Hope this helps! You can PM me anytime!

tiggerjo Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:42am
post #11 of 18

I go thru this all the time. Look at CC at work, get all excited about doing something when I get home. Some nights I do and then some nights I fix dinner, clean the kitchen and zombie out in front of the TV. TV night makes me feel very guilty (should be practicing something cuz I will never have the skills like on CC). Am gradually deciding that my cakes are far from great but my family, friends and co-workers think they are great and I guess that matters the most. I can't carve at all so you are way ahead of me. Your work is very good. Keep up the good work and enjoy.

tsal Posted 6 May 2010 , 11:57am
post #12 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiggerjo

I go thru this all the time. Look at CC at work, get all excited about doing something when I get home. Some nights I do and then some nights I fix dinner, clean the kitchen and zombie out in front of the TV. TV night makes me feel very guilty (should be practicing something cuz I will never have the skills like on CC). Am gradually deciding that my cakes are far from great but my family, friends and co-workers think they are great and I guess that matters the most. I can't carve at all so you are way ahead of me. Your work is very good. Keep up the good work and enjoy.




I could have posted this myself! icon_smile.gif

chellescountrycakes Posted 6 May 2010 , 2:51pm
post #13 of 18

I think we all get in funks. and with hubby deploying (thank both of you from the bottom of my heart) its that much worse.

Since I have 4 kids too, home school, have about 4 acres under garden, farm animals out the wazoo and volunteer for everything that comes down the road-there are times that I dont even want to clean my kitchen from dinner much less break out the cake stuff and practice something, I know how you feel. things just get overwhelming at times. and honestly, its those times that we need to step back and do something to make us feel good again. silly as it sounds, (because I usually am mucking out a pig stall or cleaning out a coop, ) sometimes just painting mynails gets me in a better mood... or putting on jeans for the day- I am notorious for wearing PJ's all day if I dont have to go anywhere. LOL icon_smile.gif


Sometimes I KNOW I need to practice my piping. but just dont want to deal with the sticky, or the two year old sitting there pointing at everything, and saying 'me ick it now' or better yet, turning my back and him licking it HIMSELF. LOL

so I will get some playdoh, sit with the kids and practice my fiqures. OR give them playdoh, get my fondant/gumpaste and practice. usually its for a cake I know I have coming up (with 4 kids they tend to have birthdays quite often, so I can always make things for their cakes) - usually they end up eating them, but I am still feeding my obsession, and enjoying myself, but not in the stessed atmosphere of having a deadline on a cake to get done.

ALso, for my own therapy, I blog- its my outlet. with that many kids I know you have funny things you can write down, and some NOT so funny things that will be funny in 10 or 20 years. keep it private if you want. but it does give you an outlet. icon_smile.gif Plus, it helps me remember what my kids have done. (I have a BAD memory). Honestly, if I didnt blog, I might have killed my kids when they brought in the buzzard. but, instead, I ran for my camera, because I KNEW I had to blog about it.. LOL dealing with kids all day will put you in a funk. not because you dont love them, but because they suck the life out of you... one 'moooooooommmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy' at a time....

If its adults that you need, try facebook, or forums you enjoy. I live in the boonies too, and really need the adults for the fun talking or sometimes just to vent. Myhusband is home everynight, but he is gone 16 plus hours a day 6 days a week. which means I dont see him very often.

and I dont watch spongebob, but have seen him enough to know that your cake is wonderful. The carving is great on the snail. I would NEVER attempt a cake that stood up like that. that scares the crap out of me (and I get to identify at least one snake a week- thanks to my kids and the 20 acres of woods we have- not much scares me- THAT Does!! ....) but sponge bob is wonderful. I really thought he was a bought item.

Jenny0730 Posted 6 May 2010 , 3:23pm
post #14 of 18

I only have two kiddos and feel overwhelmed so I can't imagine what you are going through.

I love to work on my cakes. I just started so I am not very good yet but I am doing the best I can. The problem is that when I work on a cake, everything else around me seems to fall apart. I can't keep the house I would like to keep it. Hubby says it's fine and we don't have to live with everything in it's place all of the time but it bugs me. He is actually the one who encouraged me to find a hobby but I feel like my hobby becomes a burden and that's now how it's supposed to be. I love my hobby and I am really happy when I am doing it. The problem is....when I am done, I have a disastrous kitchen and the kids have torn the house apart.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is, in a way I totally get where you are coming from. I do think you have great talent so just try and remember that we are the only ones that see the little flaws in the cake. Just do your best.....that's all you can do.

tiawanna02 Posted 6 May 2010 , 3:44pm
post #15 of 18

You should not feel discouraged at all, you did a awesome job on your daughter's cake and you have no formal training, all of that is self taught, that truely amazing!!! (sorry for the run-on sentence) But I do understand how you feel, just remember you do have people to talk on this site and I'm quite sure there is someone here that may live in your area that wouldn't mind hanging out and "cake talking" with u. Please keep your head up!!! (hug)
-Tiawanna

SugarNSpiceDiva Posted 15 May 2010 , 11:39am
post #16 of 18

Hello everyone!

First (I know I've said this to a couple people), I sincerely apologize for seeming to abandon my own thread. DH is an online student as well (Graphic Design), so sometimes I am forced to relinquish the computer for a few days so he can get his work done. Lol.

Also, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone. I truly expected a lot of "deal with its" and "get over its." I've been hearing that a lot from my family who has never really been through any of this, much less all at the same time. I am SO thankful for CC! You all are truly the best. I still haven't made another cake yet. And since we are moving, I had to sadly pack away my cake toys. icon_cry.gif I'm hoping to build some kind of motivation after we move to start practicing again. If it works, hopefully it will keep me from going completely nuts while DH is deployed. And lucky for me, we will be living close to DH's family who thinks I'm the best cake decorator in the world (obviously, they've never been on CC lol) and are always asking for my next "creation."

My MIL decided to make a request for two birthday cakes for her two dogs we gave her (it's weird I know but that's another story, lol): she wants one humans can eat and one made that dogs can eat. For the dogs' cake, she wants a milkbone, and for the human cake, she requested the dog shaped cake by Confetti Cakes she found on youtube (AMAZING cake, but OMG it looks hard! Lol). With the way I've been feeling about my own skills lately, I'm pretty intimidated, and I haven't told her yes yet. But, she is my MIL and is VERY pushy. Lol. So, if I do, I definitely have a lot of practicing ahead of me.

But I am rambling. My apologies. Lol. I truly appreciate everyone's posts and stories. Things seem really hard right now, but it really helps to know that others understand. If I can get some more time on the computer, I definitely want to respond to everyone and thank each of you individually.

fabray13 Posted 15 May 2010 , 12:16pm
post #17 of 18

I get discouraged all the time!!!!! After looking at all these beautiful cakes here on CC, I feel unworthy too! And maybe a little jealous cause I wanna be that good icon_cry.gif But I love love love baking and decorating, so if I dont have any "real" cakes to make, I am always practicing on dummy cakes. My uncle told me if baking ever becomes work then its not going to be fun anymore. So just have fun!!!!

foxymomma521 Posted 15 May 2010 , 12:38pm
post #18 of 18

PM CC member Ski- she made a dog cake like that, and it is amazing! http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1337964
I know from experience she is one of the most helpful cakers out there. I broke my elbow last year right before my son's birthday, and she came over and helped me make him a B.O.B. cake, and when we didn't finish before 1am, she brought it home to do it herself. (All this with just knowing each other thru CC!) Anyway, sorry to hijack your thread!
Your Gary cake is enviable icon_biggrin.gif I seriously wish I had half that talent! Keep cakin'- I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with next!

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