Prayer Request/vent Sister Is Really Over The Edge...

Lounge By ccr03 Updated 2 Apr 2010 , 12:29am by kellertur

ccr03 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 12:38am
post #1 of 13

Why does my sister continue to 'haunt' us?

On a few posts here, I've made mention that one of my older sisters has decided to completely separate herself from us. It's a long story, so I won't get all into it, but pretty much after her divorced she changed 100%. It's soo sad for me to know and say that I do not know the person that was once my sister. Of course we are still blood related, but I don't know her anymore.

Well, she got divorced in Nov. 2008. SHE initiated the divorce. Well, today her ex-husband (and one of his bros) came to talk with my parents. Apparrently the 'crew' she hangs out with now has harrassed all of his girlfriends since the divorce. According to him, they call both of them calling them names, making threads and even go as far as beating people up. He says he does know the ppl in her crew, but knows that it's the people she hangs out with. He said the last straw was last night when they were at a party and her people rolled us causing problems. Police were even called. (He showed my dad a copy and it was for a disturbance.) We are all from a small village, so he pretty came so that my parents wouldn't have to hear from other people what is going on in case something bigger happens aka him calling the police on my sister. My parents told him the truth that she really doesn't talk to us and such. And truly wish him the best. Honestly, my ex-BIL is a good guy I know he is trying to do the right thing and not in any way trying to hurt my parents. (Theres more to the whole conversation, but that is the gist)

Well, I am not friends with her on FB, but can see her status. So before I knew why he was going to the house I checked her page to see if there are any clue as to why he was going over. On it, she had something to the effect of awesome night! Ended quickly, but still A TON to come. Then one of my cousins commented, Im soooo proud of you. And she wrote thanks now I just need concealer.

People my sister is going to be 31 this year! What happened to my sister???? Dude, is she really into making threats and beating up people now (conclusion I and I alone am coming up with)???

I told myself that I was done crying about her, done getting mad about her just done. But I cant let her continue to hurt innocent people. You got a DIVORCE! YOU are already in a supposedly loving relationship why the &(*&( do you care what your EX-HUSBAND is doing or going out with!? She was all about justice and treating people fairly yeah, what you are doing is fair and just. Ha!

Now, I know I only heard one side of the story, but to be honest, even if I were to hear my sisters side (which I know I never will), I wouldnt believe it. I trust nothing from her I believe nothing from her.

Its just all so sad. So many emotions today. And at the end, the only thing I know I can do is pray for her. Pray that she stops these evil/wrong/bad actions. My sister used to be so good. I believe in the resurrection. I have always believe that one day she will resurrect, but what if she doesnt?

If you got through all of these thank you. I know it was a lot. I just really need to get this all out. As I said, the only thing I know that I can do for her/this situation is pray for her. I dont want to get too involved because I can see them going after our family too. I wont put my family in harm, but I always dont feel right sitting back knowing she is causing harm to others.

12 replies
mkolmar Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 12:55am
post #2 of 13

I've been in situations like this as a family member. I'm so sorry, nothing like this will ever make sense. It will just drive you insane and eat at you.
((BIG HUG)) Pm me if you ever need to vent for any reason.

dalis4joe Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 1:32am
post #3 of 13

I'm so sorry you are going through this... I can tell by your words how bad u r hurting... pray... and I will pray for you... your parents... but mostly for your sister... she is looking for happiness and satisfaction in the wrong places...

I pray to God that she comes to her senses and realizes what she is doing is only harming her in the long run... God knows why this is happening... trus in him and he will take care of it...

Same as above... if you ever need to vent... I'm here... pm... email... icon_smile.gif God Bless You

mrspriss0912 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 3:11am
post #4 of 13

I am so sorry to hear this ! I will be praying for you all and as the others have said if you need to vent just pm we are all here for you got a cyber shoulder for you if you need it {{{ Hugs}}}}

ccr03 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 3:16am
post #5 of 13

Thank you ladies so much!!! I really needed to get all this out. I truly and honestly appreciate the support.

I know two wrongs don't make a right, and trust so much in God - only he knows why all of this is happening. Why does she have to make it hard. Why is she doing all of this??

Seriously, though - thank you so much!!! I can feel your love and support here

prterrell Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 6:19am
post #6 of 13

So you're sister's personality has completely changed? Or is this just a more intense version of her personality? Either way, it sounds to me like she needs the help of a mental health professional and to get a new group of friends. Most personality disorders reveal themselves in the late teens/early twenties, but in some cases it's not until the late twenties/early thirties. I'm not a mental health professional, but come from a family with a wide range of mental health issues. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

JGMB Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 11:33am
post #7 of 13

I agree with prterrell -- it sounds like she's suffering from some sort of mental health issue. If she used to be all about justice and fairness, but now she's stalking people and beating them up, it really sounds like she needs professional help.

ccr03 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 12:20pm
post #8 of 13

Wow - I guess I had never thought/saw that was the answer to the 'why'.

itsmylife Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 10:05pm
post #9 of 13
Originally Posted by prterrell

Either way, it sounds to me like she needs the help of a mental health professional and to get a new group of friends. Most personality disorders reveal themselves in the late teens/early twenties, but in some cases it's not until the late twenties/early thirties.

Ditto to this..... It sounds like she is getting some sort of ego boost or thrill from behaving the way she is. Do you think that she could be using drugs or alcohol? It may explain the personality change. If she is physically attacking people, she's going to end up in jail.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do.....until she gets help, grows up, or hits the bottom & asks for help. I hope & pray that things will work out for your family.

ccr03 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 11:24pm
post #10 of 13

You know I hate saying it, but it does seem like jail is going to be the only thing to snap something in her mind. We always used to think that if something serious happened, it would snap in her head, but nope. My dad had an accident last summer - it truly was a miracle that he did not end up paralyzed - all the doctors told us this, and she didn't even go to the hospital. And visited him twice - no calls, nothing.

She definitely is into drinking and with such a drastic change in her behavior we have thought about drug use more than once.

Again, thank you for all the support. Today was a kinda bummer day at the beginning, but I went to church during lunch, thought of all the good positive things going on right now (my business, my other sister's wedding, Holy Week) and it's such a gorgeous day that I just thought - I am not going to let the enemy overpower my good.

Kinda funny thing - hilarious thing - my mom, she is so freakin' awesome. we were talking a bit and she said was saying that she was good BUT if they (her group of friends) mess with her kids she will beat them down! haha....the true love of a mother. I told her though, we are in teh same boat - do whatever you want to me, but DON'T EVEN DARE mess with my parents!

kiwigal81 Posted 1 Apr 2010 , 8:58pm
post #11 of 13

I'm sorry that you and your family is going through this. It sounds to me like she needs professional help...people don't just change 180 degrees on a whim for nuttin. Even if it's not mental illness, rather a spiralling series of bad decisions, a professional could help her reassess where she wants her life to go.

All you can do is pray and wait. Wait for the day when she starts to turn back to the way she was, and needs strong family to help her repair the damage to her life and support her when she realises how badly she has messed up.

And you said you thought you'd cried yourself out over her. Well, sadly, when it comes to family we love, there are always more tears. Which brings you back to the praying and waiting.

ccr03 Posted 1 Apr 2010 , 9:13pm
post #12 of 13

You guys/ladies are all soo awesome!!! I wrote this when the wound was fresh and the support I got for you all was/is wonderful!!!

I hate saying I feel sorry for her, but I do. But I also know feeling sorry or sad for people doesn't help - praying does!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful great Easter!!!

kellertur Posted 2 Apr 2010 , 12:29am
post #13 of 13

I'm sorry you are going through this. My sister is schitzophrenic and bipolar (the diagnosis she received last year when she was at a mental institution), but refuses to take proper meds because she has a psych degree therefore believes she "knows more than her doctors"... icon_confused.gif My mother is also mentally ill, but that's a whole other issue altogether since she's in denial... Sometimes distance is best...even if it's emotional distance. I love my family, but I can't be around them often and when I am I keep emotional distance. I say my sincere "I love you's" and such, but I don't give into the emotional blackmail, manipulation and mind game BS that used to really squeeze my can make you feel insane yourself.
Lucky for me, there is a 120 mile buffer zone and I screen all my calls. I'm not cruel, I'm protecting my husband and small child. It keeps the peace, and I disengage when "drama" starts floating my way.

Good luck!!

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