Best Advice/lesson Learned......

Lounge By Lita829 Updated 8 Apr 2010 , 3:11pm by Lita829

Lita829 Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 12:00pm
post #1 of 44

I thought it would be interesting to start a thread about the best advice you've received and/or lesson you've learned (cake related or non-cake related). There are so many wise individuals on this website and I think it will be fun to share some of our biggest lessons and/or best advice given for surviving this thing we call LIFE.

I'll start....

The best advice I've received has been many things are Mind Over Matter. No matter how difficult a situation may seem or how great the odds...try to keep a level head (even though I am working on this) and keep an eye on the prize. I also take my own advice and make myself my only competition. This stops me from being petty and jealous...I live according to MY standards...no one elses.

Biggest Lesson learned is that there will be disappointments in life. Make them a stepping stone. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'd have to agree. Another big lesson I've figured out is that seeking an education is key for surviving life. People can take your job, your house, your money, even your man....but NO ONE can take something that you learned from you....its yours for life. With an education...you can also replace what has been taken and it just may be better than what you had.

Whose next?

43 replies
cakesbycathy Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 2:16pm
post #2 of 44

Not the best advice I ever received, but still very good...

Take an objective person with you when shopping for a swimsuit.


Someone who will tell you how you really look in it ("don't get that one for heaven's sake - your a$$ looks enormous icon_wink.gif )

indydebi Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 2:56pm
post #3 of 44

On my first "real" job (not a fast food after school job) the woman who trained me said, "There is nothing you can do that I can't fix. So go ahead and do it." I've carried that with me thru my working life, altering it slightly to "Go ahead and try it ... if it doesn't work, we'll know not to do it that way again."

My aunt, who was more of a gramma to me, lived on Soc Security, but was a very caring and sharing person, said to me once: "I don't have much but I'll share what I've got." I was about 15 when she said that and it's my best life lesson that I hope I've passed on to my kids.

KarmaStew Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 3:00pm
post #4 of 44

Be particular.

Ruth0209 Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 3:53pm
post #5 of 44

Just because something is true doesn't mean you have to say it out loud. Think about the impact of your words on those who will hear them.

Sagebrush Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 4:21pm
post #6 of 44

I don't know if these quite fall into the category you are asking for, but these are some things that work for me:

Compliment people. For one, it makes them feel good, and it's good to spread happiness in the world; and two, people respond better to you when you've made them feel good... whether you're interested in friendship, or you're trying to get them to cooperate with you on something, it's always easier if they feel good about you.

You can always find something to compliment someone on. For instance, even if I don't particularly like how what they're wearing looks on them, there's often something like "that color looks so pretty on you" or "what a pretty pattern" "You got a new haircut... is it easier to work with now?" "Your hair is such a pretty color... is it natural, or can I copy it?" You can almost always find something true.

Say I'm sorry when you're wrong. It really does make a huge difference, and it makes you feel better when you've done it.

This one I learned from my grandpa... claim people. Anytime one of us grand kids came to see him, he'd greet us with something like "How's my girl?" That MY always made me feel so special! Now I often greet my friends with some variation of "Hello my Connie". I find it really helps strengthen our connection.

Ruth0209 Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 4:30pm
post #7 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagebrush



This one I learned from my grandpa... claim people. Anytime one of us grand kids came to see him, he'd greet us with something like "How's my girl?" That MY always made me feel so special! Now I often greet my friends with some variation of "Hello my Connie". I find it really helps strengthen our connection.




This is so sweet. When I read it I realized that I usually refer to my daughters as "my Lisa girl" and "my Angela girl".

Kellpepper Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 4:42pm
post #8 of 44

My favorite Grandma gave me two wonderful bits of wisdom.

If you don't want anyone to know, then don't write it down!

and

Do you really want to read about that on the front page of the newpaper?

In a small town every bit of goody gossip makes the front page. icon_redface.gif

Shelle_75 Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 5:10pm
post #9 of 44

The best / biggest thing I've learned recently is that you can love someone and forgive them, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to let them be active in your life.

Lita829 Posted 28 Mar 2010 , 6:53pm
post #10 of 44

So many good words of wisdom icon_smile.gif . I especially like the one that indydebi's grandma said...I don't have much but I'll share what I've got. I feel the same way. Sagebrush...I like everything you said...especially claiming people. That is so sweet.

Shelly_75...you are so right. I call this practice of forgiving but not allowing that person to remain in your life FORGIVING FROM A DISTANCE. For those I have hurt I hope they can practice this as I am practicing this with the people who have hurt me. Holding on to hate, hurt, and anger only hurts you...not them. That's why I chose to forgive....not for them, but for me.

costumeczar Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 12:05am
post #11 of 44

Never pass up a free meal or a bathroom break.

jammjenks Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 1:01am
post #12 of 44

From my mother: "Don't marry a lazy man."

Also from my mother: "Girls don't call boys. Let them call you first."

From my middle school Sunday School teacher: "Don't date someone you wouldn't marry. Don't marry someone who wouldn't be a good father."

Lita829 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 1:05am
post #13 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by jammjenks

From my mother: "Don't marry a lazy man."

Also from my mother: "Girls don't call boys. Let them call you first."

From my middle school Sunday School teacher: "Don't date someone you wouldn't marry. Don't marry someone who wouldn't be a good father."




So true...so true. Words to to be a part of any dating Bible.

indydebi Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 1:08am
post #14 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by jammjenks

From my mother: "Don't marry a lazy man."

Also from my mother: "Girls don't call boys. Let them call you first."

From my middle school Sunday School teacher: "Don't date someone you wouldn't marry. Don't marry someone who wouldn't be a good father."



icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif This sounds like the grandmother / sunday school teacher types, alright! icon_lol.gif geesh, the dating part is where you get to know someone. I have no idea if I'd marry someone BEFORE I date them. That's what dating is ... getting to know each other. God luv 'em! icon_biggrin.gif

jammjenks Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 1:12am
post #15 of 44

Good point Debi. She was referring to seriously long-term dating though.

DefyGravity Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 1:49am
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"A closed mouth gathers no foot."

I have a tendency to say the wrong thing most of the time, so learning to just keep my darn mouth shut has helped me more than anything else!

Lita829 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 2:01am
post #17 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by jammjenks

Good point Debi. She was referring to seriously long-term dating though.




Probably so because dating in any form may lead to marriage...it has to start somewhere (unless the marriage is arranged and that is a whole different conversation). Why waste time on dating a man who you wouldn't consider marriage/father material. I know most of us have done it (I know I have....I wasted almost 5 years of my life with a man who I knew after the 2nd year that I didn't want to be his wife). Even though he was a rebound relationship, I learned the hard way only to date men who are willing to work, are sane, and who I think will be a good father.

Sagebrush Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 7:16am
post #18 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

This sounds like the grandmother / sunday school teacher types, alright! icon_lol.gif geesh, the dating part is where you get to know someone. I have no idea if I'd marry someone BEFORE I date them. That's what dating is ... getting to know each other. God luv 'em! icon_biggrin.gif




Well, yes and no. Of course dating helps you learn more about the person you are going out with but it is the rare occasion where you start dating someone without at least a basic idea of who they are.

I think it is about maintaining your standards, whatever they are. In general, each date you go on with any particular person makes it more likely there will be another date, and then another date, and then a more exclusive relationship.

So, just a for instance... if you really want to be a mother, and someone who asks you out is very uncomfortable around kids, and really has no interest in having any of their own, starting (or continuing) to date them, even if each date is lots of fun, eliminates time you could spend looking for or dating someone whose desires and goals are more in line with yours.

The same could apply to so many situations... if you want to travel, but they know all the hot spots to show you a great time localyy, but have no desire to leave their home area to visit somewhere else; if it isimportant to you to raise your children in your religion, but they are strong in another faith or don't believe religion is important, etc. etc.

It is always easier to continue in an existing relationship than it is to end it and start over again with the looking. Especially when the other person wants to continue the relationship... they touch you and it feels good, or they make promises to change and you want to believe them, but more often than not, what ends up hapening is that you give up your dreams and goals, change who you are or want to become, or postpone the decision long enough to make finding what you really want much, much harder.

The point is just don't let what is important to you in the long run slip away in favor of a bit of fun now. If you know already that the person doesn't meet your criteria, don't start down a path that could mean wasting a lot of time heading you in the wrong direction.

Texas_Rose Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 7:26am
post #19 of 44

Don't be afraid to let someone know when you're unhappy.

My mom taught me to always smile and never complain, and that's one of the worst things to teach a daughter. I'm teaching my children to stand up for themselves and be effective.

Lita829 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 11:46am
post #20 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagebrush

Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

This sounds like the grandmother / sunday school teacher types, alright! icon_lol.gif geesh, the dating part is where you get to know someone. I have no idea if I'd marry someone BEFORE I date them. That's what dating is ... getting to know each other. God luv 'em! icon_biggrin.gif



Well, yes and no. Of course dating helps you learn more about the person you are going out with but it is the rare occasion where you start dating someone without at least a basic idea of who they are.

I think it is about maintaining your standards, whatever they are. In general, each date you go on with any particular person makes it more likely there will be another date, and then another date, and then a more exclusive relationship.

So, just a for instance... if you really want to be a mother, and someone who asks you out is very uncomfortable around kids, and really has no interest in having any of their own, starting (or continuing) to date them, even if each date is lots of fun, eliminates time you could spend looking for or dating someone whose desires and goals are more in line with yours.

The same could apply to so many situations... if you want to travel, but they know all the hot spots to show you a great time localyy, but have no desire to leave their home area to visit somewhere else; if it isimportant to you to raise your children in your religion, but they are strong in another faith or don't believe religion is important, etc. etc.

It is always easier to continue in an existing relationship than it is to end it and start over again with the looking. Especially when the other person wants to continue the relationship... they touch you and it feels good, or they make promises to change and you want to believe them, but more often than not, what ends up hapening is that you give up your dreams and goals, change who you are or want to become, or postpone the decision long enough to make finding what you really want much, much harder.

The point is just don't let what is important to you in the long run slip away in favor of a bit of fun now. If you know already that the person doesn't meet your criteria, don't start down a path that could mean wasting a lot of time heading you in the wrong direction.




So true...so true. I stayed because at that time in my life, after losing the man who I thought was the love of my life to someone I considered a friend, I was so broken I thought I couldn't get any better. I now know that I have a heck of a lot to offer a man. I will NEVER lower my standards like that again. I'll stay alone first.

Texas_Rose....good one! As women, we are taught to smile and just "suck it up". I've always believed that there is more room out than there is in. Good lesson for your children thumbs_up.gif

Shelle_75 Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 3:16pm
post #21 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Don't be afraid to let someone know when you're unhappy.

My mom taught me to always smile and never complain, and that's one of the worst things to teach a daughter. I'm teaching my children to stand up for themselves and be effective.




AMEN!!
thumbs_up.gif

Enchantedcakes Posted 29 Mar 2010 , 3:32pm
post #22 of 44

My grandfather told me at a young age as a joke not to marry an Italian, he said it is a know fact that Polish women like to cook and that Italian men like to eat, so if I were to marry an Italian man I would spend my life in the kitchen. Well I married a man who is 50% Sicilian. Shortly after I took over my mothers business and here I am spending my life in the kitchen and I love every minute of it. I guess grandpa was right, but then again my grandfather is always right.

cakes-r-us Posted 30 Mar 2010 , 3:39am
post #23 of 44

The only "secret" is the one you keep to yourself

Eat dessert first

My aunt really taught me to "never guess another person's pocketbook"

Lita829 Posted 30 Mar 2010 , 3:52am
post #24 of 44

Such good advice, everyone! I love your aunt's advice, cakes-r-us. I also like your signature line because people are ALWAYS gonna have an opinion about everyone else...how they should be, who they should love, how they should dress....the list goes on forever. A person must be true to themselves first before they can be happy or before they can make anyone else happy.

kiwigal81 Posted 1 Apr 2010 , 9:14pm
post #25 of 44

If there's a good way to take something, and a bad way to take something, take it the good way!

There is ALWAYS hope.

Most often, people just want to be heard. I read a line, that all we can give eachother is 'a place to stand and a witness, as flawed as any witness can be'.

peg818 Posted 1 Apr 2010 , 9:54pm
post #26 of 44

In the end you are responsible for you and can only control your actions and behavior.

Also,


Life is to short to hold on to hatred and pettiness. Its easier to smile then frown.

Lita829 Posted 1 Apr 2010 , 10:23pm
post #27 of 44

All good advice to live by, Kiwigal and Peg.

Kiwi...you're right...there is always hope icon_smile.gif I agree with what you said in that most people just want to be heard. Many people act a fool because they feel as though they AREN'T being heard or listened to. And the one about witnesses...so true, so true.

I especially like the one about smiling because its easier than frowning...so true. I agree about only being responsible and having control over your actions and behavior. Your also right life being too short for pettiness and hatred. It eats away at you like a cancer.

catlharper Posted 1 Apr 2010 , 11:43pm
post #28 of 44

when it comes to cakes "never play it too safe, you and everyone else will be bored"

when it comes to kids: "and this too shall pass....right into another stage"

when it comes to throwing parties "no one but you knows what the end result was supposed to be so when something goes wrong...and it will...just try to make the end result something you'll be proud of"

when it comes to men "never marry someone you couldn't just be friends with...because in the end, best friends are what you will be". Been married 22 years now to someone I just couldn't imagine living life without having him by my side every day.

Lita829 Posted 2 Apr 2010 , 12:40am
post #29 of 44

Good ones, Catlharper!!

Couldn't agree with you more about marrying someone that you could be just friends with. Its soooo important. It only makes sense but sooo many people, myself included, haven't followed that advice. I guess that is why I've had the man problems that I've had....I was a friend to them but they weren't to me (I'm soon to be 37 years old so saying "them" isn't tooo bad at this age since I've never been married)icon_sad.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gif (I don't know whether to laugh or cry)

kiwigal81 Posted 2 Apr 2010 , 5:29am
post #30 of 44

No, saying 'them' isn't too bad icon_biggrin.gif And while you haven't been married, you haven't had the pain of a divorce either icon_biggrin.gif Sing it with me now "Always look on the bright side of life na na, nananananana".

And your post brings up another thing: Laugh! For goodness sake, Laugh, otherwise you'd cry. I cannot tell you how often that holds true for me!

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