Confused...

Lounge By Babarooskie Updated 18 Mar 2010 , 12:42pm by Babarooskie

Babarooskie Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 6:00pm
post #1 of 12

Hi Everyone...

I just need to vent, a little. OK, maybe a lot.

I'm 26 years old...newly married (just celebrated my 1 year in February). I work full time as an insurance agent, make cakes and go to Culinary school full time. I wake up every morning at 6:15 AM and don't end up coming home until 10 PM, Monday-Thursday.

I'm just extremely exhausted from my busy schedule. I leave work at 4 PM, start school at 5 PM and get home at 10 PM. This leaves me no time to get things done around the house during the week, dinner is rarely cooked (my husband's not the best cook, but he helps clean), I barely see my husband (an hour before we go to bed, maybe)...and then I get maybe 5 hours of sleep every night. All the cleaning and errands around the house are done on the weekends and I can never enjoy them. Plus, I work 2 Saturdays every month. I'm drained!! icon_cry.gif

If I only go to class for 2 days a week, then it's going to take me longer to complete my course and get certification....but I'm thinking it's my option right now. Thankfully we don't have children yet.

I'm confused as to what to do...
Sorry about this loooooooong vent, but appreciate you reading it.

Have a great day everyone!

11 replies
LeckieAnne Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 7:48pm
post #2 of 12

Oh dear! How much longer to have before you're done. You just have to decide whether you want to get it over with - or give yourself a break.

Texas_Rose Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 7:53pm
post #3 of 12

That sounds like too much to do at one time. I used to have a job where I had to work that many hours each day and it gets really old. It puts a strain on a marriage too. My sister works long hours right now and she and her husband are trying to have a baby, but they never see each other long enough to make one.

How much longer would you have to go with your schedule this way? And how much longer would it take if you went to school two days a week instead?

One thing you might consider if you can afford it is working part time and going to school full time.

Babarooskie Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 7:59pm
post #4 of 12

The complete course (baking and cooking) is 1,500 hours.
Classes are from 5:15 PM- 9:30 PM

Monday & Tuesday: Baking
Wednesday & Thursday: Cooking

I wish we can afford for me to work part time and I go to school full time- that would be a blessing! Unfortunately, with things the way they are nowadays, it's not possible icon_sad.gif

It is a lot on my plate. It gets to the point that when I'm driving to school, my eyes start closing on me because of how tired I am.
I'm still contemplating on what to do, but I'm leaning more towards to doing 2 days a week.

cakesbycathy Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 8:12pm
post #5 of 12

If you fall asleep behind the wheel and cause an accident will it really be worth it? Is it worth it to not see your new husband?

I think you probably already know the answers to these questions. Will it take you longer to complete the program? Yes. Will it be worth it? Yes.

Renaejrk Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 8:12pm
post #6 of 12

If you were almost done I'd say push through, but if you don't - it sounds like you need a break. If you don't take a break now you will end up burnt out and your marriage could suffer too - it just doesn't seem worth it. Maybe you could cut down for now and then pick up the full time again later after you've had a break - or maybe your financial situation could even change later?

sweetflowers Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 8:18pm
post #7 of 12

So you're talking a little over 1 year 8 months of this schedule? Hmmm..it does get old fast and I would guess you are going to get more and more stressed and start to crumble if you keep it up. Everything will suffer. So I would definitely go to 2 days if you can. It's up to you ultimately... but I can tell you, after working 5 jobs (which is what I currently do), with 2 sons, husband and a wreck of a house, you will burn fast! I've lasted 18 months and I'm done, ready to quit everything, sell the house, leave the husband and kids and all. I'm starting to have melt downs, over everything and it's all due to overextending. As someone who is currently in your shoes, please put yourself into your priorities and seriously consider cutting back.

LaBellaFlor Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 8:20pm
post #8 of 12

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do, regardless of how hard it may be. Be glad you are 26 with no children doing this. One day you will be 36 and you don't ever want to say, "Why didn't I just finish it when I was 26." The only concern would be if it has a negative effect on your marriage. If it does, thats when you re-evaluate.

indydebi Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 9:06pm
post #9 of 12

I'm with Bella on this one.

I'm 50 years old and just started back to school this semester, full time. I work nights at a hotel. The hotel job averages between 32 and 38 hours a week (aka a full time job).

All I seem to do is work, school and sleep. I sleep in anywhere from one to 4 hour shifts. If I get 6 hours sleep in a row, it's a miracle. I even nap in the school hall between classes for an hour or so (they have GREAT comfy chairs in the lounge areas!)

Studying? Between classes or it doesn't get done. Or on my "night off" from the hotel job, I'll be up until 2:00 a.m. doing the work.

I've gone 25 hours on 1 hour's sleep; 38 hours on 4 hours sleep.

why do I do it? Because I'm motivated to get it done. I have spent my entire life telling my kids "You can do anything you want, provided you want to bad enough."

Getting this degree and becoming a teacher is something I really really want to do. I'm 50 years old. I dont' have time to pansy around and do it a little at a time. It's time to GIT-R-DUN!!!!!!! thumbs_up.gif

My question to you, darlin' ..... just how BAD do you want this? Do you want it bad enough to adjust and sacrifice your financial lifestyle to get a part time job and do school full time? To sacrifice a little sleep now so you can complete the degree in your profession of choice? Or is it not a big priority so cutting back to part-time school will work for you?

Look inside and ask just what it is, exactly, that you REALLY want out of this?

And yes, I used the word "sacrifice" twice on purpose. There's a message there.

And I also agree that if you DO decide to put it off, there very well may come a day that you will kick yourself in the butt that you didn't just go ahead and get it done now. That's something else that I tell my kids: Don't do it like I did .... don't wait until you have kids and a mortgage and lifestyle expenses to where you HAVE to work full time and school is a part time option. GIt-R-Dun NOW!!!!

mallorymaid Posted 17 Mar 2010 , 11:56pm
post #10 of 12

I too returned to school at age 40, I was working full time managing the kitchen for an addiction treatment centre, (went to culinary school right out of high school), second job on the weekends, decided to return to school at night for trauma and addiction recovery studies so I would be in a position to advance at work.

With two kids, husband and a home to care for, and taking in my alcoholic recently sober and homeless mother life was chaos, exhausting and sometimes painful ( Late nights studying, driving 1 1/2 hours each way to school, time for my family, chores etc.)
Through it all I told myself, Short term pain for long term gain, as Indydebi and Bella stated if it is something you want to do and decide to do you find a way, sleep when you can, study when you can.

For me I also prioritized what I had to do as far as chores and errands were concerned, sacrificed time when needed with family, friends and pursuing other interests as I knew it wasn't forever, my family learned to step up to the plate and help where and when necessary.

In a round about way what I am trying to say is it is doable but you have to manage the stress, prioritize, and adjust where and when necessary. I didn't always take the same number of courses each semester, I only signed up for what I thought I could handle given what was going on at work and home, sometimes it was 5 courses sometimes 2, after 3 years I reached my goal.

Good luck in achieving your goal.

cheatize Posted 18 Mar 2010 , 5:48am
post #11 of 12

If you are falling asleep driving, something has got to go! I say this very emphatically.

My niece died when she had too little sleep for too long, fell asleep 10 minutes into her drive to work, crossed the center line, and died.

Her daughter barely remembers her and her son has no memory of her whatsoever. Her children were 3 and under 1 year old at the time of her death.

Figure out how to get what you want without sacrificing your life.

Babarooskie Posted 18 Mar 2010 , 12:42pm
post #12 of 12

Thank you all for your advice and words of wisdom.

As I was walking into class yesterday (and before I read these replies), I was speaking with a classmate about this situation. Needless to say, I kind of felt stupid! She's older than I am, has three kids, works full time, has a home to care for AND she's a single mother- she's doing the same schedule I am for school (4 days a week). After listening to her, I thought, "Wow, if she can do it then I definitely can do it!"

However, I was informed that come August, one of our classes will be dropped so then school will only be 2 days a week. I think it's going to be the cooking class, because our teacher is primarily a baker. Plus, a lot of more people are showing up for the baking class.

I spoke with my husband about this and he's pushing for me to finish, but I can tell he's not happy with my schedule right now. He helps out a lot and I tell him all the time how much I appreciate it.

Also, I have a great opportunity to possibly open up a cupcake shop (I've been thinking about this for over a year now...and I have some great ideas). I just need to come up with a business proposal, so I'm also working on that as well.

Thank you all for listening to me whine icon_lol.gif
I appreciate all your suggestions!

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