Just Never Good Enough

Decorating By rikkijo314 Updated 1 Mar 2010 , 3:13pm by KHalstead

rikkijo314 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 2:52am
post #1 of 30

I have to vent for a second. I have had a LONG week. I don't do many cakes because I live in a small town and do things for friends and family. I had two cakes this week, one big celebration cake for Friday and a birthday cake for today. I try not to do more than one cake each week but I really wanted to do these for friends.

Anyways, I baked and froze all of the cakes on Sunday because I had a feeling I needed to get that done. Then Monday I was put in the hospital for kidney stones. I hate those. When I got home on Wednesday I was still miserable and my friend told me not to worry about the cake but I could tell that she would be disappointed so I busted it out.

It wasn't perfect but I thought it was good. That is until my good ole older sister decided to tell me how awful it looked. "Are you really going to take that to her?" She asked. I didn't want her to see how much it hurt me so I just left. I was in such a hurry that I didn't even take a picture of it.

So then today the cake was one with those cool quilled flowers. It looked really cool if I do say so myself, but as I was loading it in the car a huge gust of wind ripped one of the flowers off and shattered it. I was crushed along with it.

I took it inside to see what repairs I could do and who comes along? My sister- grr. "Can't you make that look less stupid? It is a good thing you are charging for the cake!" Needless to say I was too ashamed to take a picture but hopefully the birthday girl got one for me. Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get it all out!

29 replies
sillywabbitz Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:09am
post #2 of 30

I think you should say something to your sister. Those comments are not constructive criticism or even solutions. They're just rude. It's hard to have a heart to heart with family but sometimes it's necessary. If it makes you feel better, I always ask my mom for feedback on cake. She has never liked one of my flavors. FYI other people like them just fine so I've stopped asking momicon_smile.gif hang in there.

KawaiiCakeCook Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:11am
post #3 of 30

sounds like your sister is just a little jealous, take a deep breath, if you can make a cake after surgery you get a gold star in my book. Plus I've looked at your cakes, cute as a button!

kimmi1963 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:17am
post #4 of 30

your cakes are great. don't worry about what your sis says. I would find someone else to ask what they thought.

katnmouse Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:21am
post #5 of 30

Your cakes are gorgeous! Your sister's comments sound like ugly petty jealousy to me.

chelseak Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:24am
post #6 of 30

Your cakes are so cute! I LOVE your mario mushroom cake. I would tell her if she doesn't have CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, keep it to herself! Be proud of your hard work!

rikkijo314 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:24am
post #7 of 30

The problem with her is that I NEVER ask her opinion but she is never shy about giving it anyway. And she always comes around at the wrong time. Everyone else loves the cakes (or atleast tells me that they do and make me feel good). But thank you everyone, you always make me feel better! I LOVE CC!

indydebi Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:41am
post #8 of 30

"Sis, why don't you show me how YOU would make this cake. Oh wait .... you're not talented enough to make a cake, are you?" Stare her in the eye until she shuts the hell up.

I had a thing like this with my brother. On the RARE occasion that he'd come to the house, he'd spend most of his time on my computer. Then he'd come down and b*tch about "what a piece of crap!" my computer was. I looked at him quizzically and said, "Oh....what kind of computer do YOU have? Oh wait ... you don't even HAVE one, do you?"

(yeah ... I'm STILL in "that mood" tonight!) icon_redface.gif

Rachie204 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:43am
post #9 of 30

I'm sorry...forgive me in advance but you sister must be very very jealous...i looked at the cakes in your profile and they are wonderful. You know what you are doing...sounds like she is trying to put you down to make herself feel better. You two need to have a long talk. ~HUGS~

JanH Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:48am
post #10 of 30

As has been said, you cakes are lovely. icon_biggrin.gif

It's unfortunate, but there's probably nothing you can do to change your sister's attitute/behaviour... (As my niece would say, she's a buzz kill.)

However, you can change your response...by letting it go in one ear and out the other. Just because she's your sister doesn't mean that you can't tune her out (like you would a stranger making unsolicited snide remarks).

Who knows why she acts the way she does? But you really shouldn't let her issues interfere with the satisfaction and happiness your cakes not only bring to you but to others as well.


MACakes Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 4:01am
post #11 of 30

Well if she were my sister, I would tell her to shut her cake hole!! Some times rude people just need to be confronted then they realize they stepped over the proverbial line. Thankfully my family is very supportive. I think your cakes are wonderful!

rikkijo314 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 4:01am
post #12 of 30

I just found out one more detail that actually just makes me mad, she has been taking credit for my cakes! Showing pictures of them to her friends and saying she made them or that I copied them from her!! AWWW!! We are young, but grown women nonetheless. Goodness.

JanH Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 4:06am
post #13 of 30
Originally Posted by rikkijo314

I just found out one more detail that actually just makes me mad, she has been taking credit for my cakes! Showing pictures of them to her friends and saying she made them or that I copied them from her!! AWWW!! We are young, but grown women nonetheless. Goodness.

Yes, your sister has "issues." icon_sad.gif

It's sad that she feels that berating you and then stealing your work will make her feel better about herself...

noahsmummy Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 4:13am
post #14 of 30

my sister is the same. its not just about cakes tho, its everything. EVERYTHING. like my mum was recently hospitalised with a heart attack, so i took my son to go visit. As many people say, my son, mums grandson is "the light of her life" lol. He makes her happy. So we went to visit, and as one year olds do, he wanted to wriggle around and explore. My sister comes in "emily, i think you should go home. Hospitals arnt places for children. hes too active." needless to say both me and my mum had a few words to say about this. She also refuses to eat ANYTHING I make, apparently i "cant cook", well im sorry, but come back to me when you can cook.. ie.. even make a simple cheese sauce... and then you can cristisice away. until then keep your yap shut.

i uised to just take it, now im sick of it and i just tell her where to go. Were both young too, im 19 shes 22, i live on my own and she still lives with mum. yet ive failed at life. hahaha. yes. ohk....

you just need to try your best to ignore her or tell her exactly what you think. if shes anything like my sister shes prob been putting you down your whole life. You dont need to take that. And you shouldnt. be brave, tell her where to go. you can do it! =)

lis73 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 4:21am
post #15 of 30

I would tell you to take the high road, but really, why should you? The next time she gives you her opinion, smile sweetly and assure her that you will never make a cake for her, so she need not worry how they turn out!

happigolucki35 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 4:28am
post #16 of 30

My sister use to be like that, I confronted her on it and she stopped. Your sister like mine puts people down to make herself feel better. It's low self esteem. The best thing you can do for your sister is to call her out face to face. Tell her I love you sister, but it is not okay that you put people down and if you continue i will limit my time with you.

indydebi Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 4:31am
post #17 of 30
Originally Posted by lis73

I would tell you to take the high road, but really, why should you? The next time she gives you her opinion, smile sweetly and assure her that you will never make a cake for her, so she need not worry how they turn out!

good one! icon_lol.gif

rikkijo314 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 4:38am
post #18 of 30

You guys are awesome! Thank you for all of the advise! I feel much better about myself and my cakes.

SunshineSally Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 6:05am
post #19 of 30

Why not challenge her to a "cake off"? I'm really new to all of this and I had a family member that was always offering unsolicited advice (criticism) and I told her to put her money where her mouth was if she thought she could do any better. She got the message and backed off.

Spuddysmom Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 6:18am
post #20 of 30

Makes me glad I only have brothers...

Bunsen Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 6:30am
post #21 of 30

No cake for her! And I mean not even a tiny piece if she's at a family party and you made the cake, nothing! Sounds mean? So are her comments.

kiwigal81 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 6:37am
post #22 of 30

Sometimes sisters think that being related gives them the right to be just plain ole mean. And she was plain ole mean. But being a sister also gives you the right to have her up about it. Love the suggestions. I'd just say 'You do it then, Go awwwn, you do it' and stand there with my arms folded waiting.

Mrs-A Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 6:42am
post #23 of 30

what a mean spirited person your sister is to be so negative. going by your cake pics you obviously are creating lovely cakes so its simple jealousy on her part.

GenGen Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 6:48am
post #24 of 30

definetely tell her to keep her comments to herself unless asked for.

my sister was always bossy to me - growing up i was not allowed to like the same things she did.. she liked horses so i was not allowed to.. and so on and so on.. (she's my older sister/ half sister- we have an older brother, i'm the youngest) one day after many many many years of not much communication going on between us she called me, the only time she ever called too and we had what i thought was the best conversation we'd ever had, it Felt like we had put things in the past and were having fun joking around on the phone...


boy was i wrong

4 years later - yup 4 years later i found out that this part of our conversation where she was being the bossy older sister- in a joking manner i had thought- i had replied with 'yah but i'm bigger then you"

thats it! thats all i said...

4 years after the conversation she went running to daddy and claimed i was bullying her and bossing her around..

excuse me?!?! i still have scars from her digging her nails in my hand thankyouverymuch and other physical abuse she inflicted on me. when i tried to vent my side of it to dad he didn't want to rehash the situation. that was his way avoid the issue. (rolls eyes)

i have basicaly cut off communication with my sister, she has basically never even tried to write me a letter, mom claims she can't afford it.. i about laff cause my sister can't afford a what, 30-40 cent stamp???? Puhlease.

wow i got off subject. I'm terribly sorry. i really feel for you. i had a neighbor try to pass off a wedding cake that she and i worked together on as HER work of art.. when i found out later by ppl telling me this i was not shy about telilng them we BOTH worked on it, i never once claimed to have done it myself.. and ppl who knew her knew she could not do work like that. (secret ha hah there) i may not have a business but i am getting known around our small town for my fondant figurine work.

oops i did it again. big hugs to ya rikkijo, we got your back.

akgirl10 Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 9:51am
post #25 of 30

I agree with JanH, not only is she jealous, she has issues. Why on earth would she take credit for cakes she criticizes?

You're cakes are great, you've got a lot of talent. Try to tune our your sis and focus on everyone else's oohs and ahhs.

cathyscakes Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 10:11am
post #26 of 30

Let me tell you how impressed I am that you did a cake anyway. I too was hospitalized for kidney stones so I know how you must of been feeling, and I couldn't have done it, your a stronger person that I. I can't believe your sister would say such a thing, after you being sick, that is amazing. Don't let it get to you, your cakes are beautiful

tsal Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 11:25am
post #27 of 30

Your post got my back up just thinking about it. I didn't even read all of the replies, but I liked Indydebi's. I think she needs a good shutdown like Indydebi said. You are obviously extremely threatening to her.

Please don't accept that behaviour from her. I went through hell with a family member who everyone said was jealous (she was inexplicably mean to me). I am non-confrontational by nature and that only nurtured the bully-victim relationship that we had. I finally stood up and let me tell you that she now walks on eggshells around me.

I'm not a big Dr. Phil fan, but I do believe him when he says, "we teach people how to treat us."

chezzajd Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 11:32am
post #28 of 30

i sgree its just jealousy, your cakes a fab, a close friend of mine used to pull down all my cakes, ie bit untidy dont you think, or i dont mean to sound rude but thats just awful,
anyway it came round to her daughters 13th birthday and who did she call for a cake oh yes me, my peply was well you make out my cakes arnt up to standard and you think you ncan do better so go ahead have a go,
after many phone calls asking to borrow my equipment, she attempted a cake which nedless to say looked as bad as it tasted,
birthday girl thought it was funny even though she ended up with a supermarket off the shelf cake!!!!
lesson learned
nice end to the story though, is that she now appriciates the time and effort it takes to create a cake, and is even now learning herself,

JGMB Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 1:18pm
post #29 of 30

You can do this one of 2 ways --

1) Confront her, like some of the others have said, telling her to put her money where her mouth is and make a better cake, or saying that she can't treat you that way.

2) Don't even give her the satisfaction that you care what she thinks. Every day on the way to elementary school, the girl next door would criticize my daughter's outfit. I told my daughter to say, "Really? I love it, that's why I'm wearing it." After about a week, the girl gave up when she saw her meanness wasn't having its desired effect.

KHalstead Posted 1 Mar 2010 , 3:13pm
post #30 of 30

I would tell her "that's ok, I'm gonna tell everyone YOU made it!" lol

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