No Respect For My Cooking :(

Lounge By baking_fool Updated 27 Feb 2010 , 12:17am by indydebi

baking_fool Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 5:32am
post #1 of 18

So I live at home with my parents and pay rent pretty much at their request, this does not bother me at all. Now what does bother me is that my parents have no respect for my cooking/baking supplies that I have bought and no respect for my space when I am cooking/baking.

The other day I was trying a new recipe out and had my book open on the counter. I walked away for a second, when I came back my dad had come in to the kitchen and set a bag right on top of my recipe book and moved all of my set out ingredients to the side. I was right in the middle of creaming and was getting ready to add the eggs!!! I had to shut off the mixer and wait for him to finish and leave the kitchen before I could finish my cake!!

I have had my mom splatter food from the stove into my batter or icing and tell me "Well you should not have your stuff there." Where does she want me to put my food while I am cooking?

I have had my parents let the dogs in to the kitchen while I have had cakes cooling and the dogs ate the cakes!!! My mom has even used my cake pans for dog bowls! They will use my $300 knives to chop food in a way that will dent the sharp end of the blade.

Im so frustrated.... I know it is their house but I respect their space and possessions. Is it too much to ask that they respect mine? Am I being too sensitive?

17 replies
Ursula40 Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 5:41am
post #2 of 18

It's either time to move out and have your own space, however small it may be


sit down with your parants and have a grownup talk. Set aside times, where you can be alone in the kitchen or set aside a space for your stuff, which they should NOT TOUCH. Gross, using cakepans as dog bowls

baking_fool Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 6:13am
post #3 of 18

I have tryed talking to my mom before but she got very defensive and it became an argument.

I have started looking for a new place as I am starting a new semester at college and it seemes like a good time for a change. I just feel that they have no respect for me icon_sad.gif

Needless to say after the pans were used for dog bowls I got new ones.

mkolmar Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 5:31pm
post #4 of 18

I bet you that they still have that image of them always being the parent and it doesn't matter that your grown your are still their little girl and know better. It's almost as if they have a "Get over it daughter" kind of attitude.

My face went to this about the knives and cake pans. icon_eek.gif They are not respecting you as an adult in some ways. Good luck in your search for another place. Until then I wouldn't do any baking/cooking with them at home. Set up a table in a side room if need be to cool your cakes to keep away from hungry dogs, if possible.

KHalstead Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 7:06pm
post #5 of 18

I'd be looking for a roommate if you need to.

Anyone think maybe your folks are doing it on purpose to make you WANT to move out LOL

just hold off getting married though, because my DH pretty much does all of those things you said (except using the pans as dog watering bowls........he doesn't get the dogs water lol)

CAKE_NEWBIE Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 7:50pm
post #6 of 18

I would get my own place, no matter how small, it will be

If it's just your bed, bathroom, tv and kitchen, you will have your own space. And you'll be able to do what you want to do without having to worry about your parents.

Mrs-A Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 9:14pm
post #7 of 18

what do you mean by "pay rent pretty much at their request" does that mean you pay a set rent every single week or do they only ask you for it every now and then?

as others have said - time to move out. to be honest sounds like they are ready for you to move out as well. although i find the fact she used your cake pans for dog food is totally disgusting, the fact that you have $300 knives might peeve them off enough to be thinking well if she can afford that, then she can afford to be more independant. im also thinking they consider your baking as that fun little hobby you do without really realizing the potential it has for you and the skills involved


LaBellaFlor Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 9:48pm
post #8 of 18

NOT THE KNIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo, now that the horror has passed, as long as your in their house, your their "child". Not saying you are one, just that they are going to treat you like one.

7yyrt Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 9:52pm
post #9 of 18

If you don't want them using your knives, why are they not put away?
I keep my carbon-bladed knives in my library; because otherwise the rest of the family will use them and leave them dirty, causing rust problems.

motherofgrace Posted 25 Feb 2010 , 10:51pm
post #10 of 18

ok I live across the country, with my 2 year old, and my husband. But when I go to visit my parents..... I am 8 again lol. No matter what, your parents will treat you liek a child in thier house.

Time to move out. And in YOUR house, if they try something like that, you can say with full confidence "get the hell out of my kitchen!" lol

baking_fool Posted 26 Feb 2010 , 3:48am
post #11 of 18

Thank you all for the replys,
Mrs-A in responce to your question, I was going to move out last year but stayed at my parents request because of money problems so I pay a monthly rent.
I have talken to sitting around when I have cakes cooling so that I can keep a eye on them. As far as the knives go well I saved for a while to get them because I really wanted good quality knives...... when I got them my mom removed the old knives so now they are used by every one.
I am pretty much decided on moving soon. I just needed to vent

motherofgrace Posted 26 Feb 2010 , 3:58am
post #12 of 18

but they are YOU knives.... if you buy new shoes, does she throw out all the old shoes??

Take them away!!!!

LaBellaFlor Posted 26 Feb 2010 , 4:13am
post #13 of 18

Oh, that so bites! I DO NOT like any one playing with my knives!!! Cause like you said, they ain't cheap!

JustToEatCake Posted 26 Feb 2010 , 4:20am
post #14 of 18

Yep your parents will see you as a child as long as you live there. Just know this doesn't mean they don't love you with all their hearts. It's just how it's always been. They've been the parents and you've been the child. You will ALWAYS be their child but when you live on your own you get more "grown up" respect. As far as the feeding the dogs out of the pans, I'm pretty sure your parents have been who they are your whole life. I'm sure as children we have ruined things our folks wanted kept special too. I remember my mom saving and getting this pretty expensive (for her) pair of gingher scissors for sewing. They cut great, especially through cardboard....ooops I didn't even think you weren't even supposed to cut paper with them, only fabric. There were no scissor sharpening places in our city (still aren't but one come to town twice a year) so my mom had to live with those crappy dull expensive scissors that she desperately needed! She's gone now and I miss her so much!

indydebi Posted 26 Feb 2010 , 8:31am
post #15 of 18

It's sad when I see these stories of parents who don't recognize that their children are now grown adults. Whenever I see a problem inside of a parent/adult-child relationship, it's usually because the parents are still treating the adult-child like they are 9 years old. This usually festers into a big blow out down the road and parents just look puzzled and bewildered wondering why the KIDS are acting like that ..... and it's really not the kids at all.

(Many of you know I'm kinda biased on this line of thinking and I conceed that! icon_redface.gif )

I'm very blessed that somewhere along the line, I figured that out and my kids have told me "Man, you should hear what my friends have to deal with! I'm glad you and dad aren't like that!"

7yyrt Posted 26 Feb 2010 , 4:15pm
post #16 of 18

Glad you felt you could come here to vent.
Some adults don't know how to handle their kids becoming adults.
Not to mention 2 grown women in one kitchen! shudder
Indy, I don't want to treat the kids like they're still kids - I'm still trying to get the last batch OUT! shoo, scat...
(They were out, but the landlord lost the property and the tenants had to move.)

baking_fool Posted 27 Feb 2010 , 12:10am
post #17 of 18

I really think you guys are right about them seeing me as a child still, there are alot of little things that they do that shows this. I really hope that when I move out they will beging to respect me as an adult and independent person. icon_smile.gif

indydebi Posted 27 Feb 2010 , 12:17am
post #18 of 18
Originally Posted by baking_fool

I really think you guys are right about them seeing me as a child still, there are alot of little things that they do that shows this. I really hope that when I move out they will beging to respect me as an adult and independent person. icon_smile.gif

dont' bet on it. The thought process of recognizing your 'children' are grown adults begins back when they are 13 and 14, when the parent has to realize their child is become a young adult and forming their own thoughts and opinions, and is gaining life experience (limited as it is at this point in life, but gaining it all the same).

It's not something that changes the day you move out.

And that's the sad part.

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