My Undies Are In A Bundle And They Probably Shouldn't Be....

Decorating By jenmat Updated 1 Mar 2010 , 4:53am by Ruth0209

jenmat Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 4:18pm
post #1 of 42

I have a fairly large extended family, with a LOT of cousins whom I don't know all that well now that we are grown up. Since starting the business, I have done every wedding in the family, and I always give the same discount, whether I'm close to the cousin or not.

However, I met with yet another cousin last evening, and I am one of FOUR people they are tasting with. They made it very clear they are treating me as another of their vendors, and it ended with "they'll let me know."
They told me that with the discount I'll be the cheapest one of the bunch, but they'll let me KNOW??

I don't even want the dang cake, I already have 2 weddings that weekend, they set their date really late in the game, and I shouldn't care. But I do. They are feeding 350-425 of their closest friends, and I truly don't need the headache. But I'm still annoyed they even needed to taste 3 others.
However, I know they'll probably be back, and doing their cake will really toast my buns.

Ackkk,... now I'm moving on.

41 replies
KHalstead Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 4:31pm
post #2 of 42

I'd be booked!! Serious, I would be booked I can only handle 1 wedding cake per weekend.............how on earth are you filling orders for that much cake?????????/ LOL You're amazing already as far as I'm concerned.

If they're that indecisive though, it almost seems as though they don't fully appreciate the fact that you're offering them a discount. I'd pass on the order and let them know they've waited too long.

splash2splat Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 4:43pm
post #3 of 42

I would just tell them that if they are going to treat you just like any other vendor I would tell them that you will treat them like any other client (full price). At least thats what I would want to tell them, in all reality I don't know if I would. That would bug me for sure - good luck. =)

tiggy2 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 5:00pm
post #4 of 42

I would definitely be booked when they come back. Tell them someone else put a deposit down the day after you met with them and you can't possibly handle another cake. Then they can be treated like every other customer and pay full price somewhere else icon_smile.gif

cheatize Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 5:03pm
post #5 of 42

This could be a good thing. Business is business and family is family, right? I've always felt the ideal situation is when you give someone you know the opportunity to get your business, but there's no hard feelings if it doesn't work out.

My daughter's in-laws are in the insurance biz. Therefore, according to their family rules, she has to use them. It doesn't matter that they are more expensive and all heck would break loose if she filed a claim, she "has" to use them. Heaven forbid if they didn't make a goal and not get a free trip.

jenmat Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 5:17pm
post #6 of 42

ya see, that's why I shouldn't be pissed- business is business. Its just the way it was handled.
I never want to be obligated to another family member because they run a business. But then I don't treat them like I'm interviewing them either. I think I would have been much less irked if they had never called me, than when they call me and make it clear that they are "giving me a chance."
I'm sorry, I'm fairly good at what I do, I book up fast, and please don't insult me by interviewing me when you've had my cake at every event for the past 6 weddings.
If it wasn't that I love the uncle they belong to and that me "rejecting" them would hurt him, believe me, I would be booked, because technically, I should be booked.

cakesdivine Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 5:32pm
post #7 of 42

I'm with splash2splat, biz is biz and if you are going to treat me like a regular vendor then you pay regular price.

Do you think you could call the uncle if you are that close, and discuss your misgivings with him? Is the cousin the bride or the groom? If it is the bride, there is no excuse for this. Call the uncle! If it is the groom, then you might have a little harder time as the bride is usually in control of what happens at the wedding especially the cake.

The minute those words came out of my cousin's mouth I would have said, that is fine so I will treat you as I would any of my clients, and then quote the full price, and if they asked what about the family discount I would say "well you said you wanted this to be like any other vendor/client relationship you have, so full price is how I do business with nonfamily clients. I guarantee the attitude would have changed if they want that discount, if that wasn't a concern then you wouldn't have to worry about dealing with them and their crazy demands.

mommyle Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 5:38pm
post #8 of 42

I would be completely Peeved, and have told them "No" right up front. "Ummmm... I have 2 other weddings that day, and I'm putting myself out for you. If you aren't inclined to be appreciative, then NO CAKE FOR YOU!!!!"

PS - Given their attitude, I have a feeling they will be a complete PITA, and will ultimately complain about SOMETHING. Run hard and fast.

Lelka Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 5:39pm
post #9 of 42

My customers know that if they book less than a week in advance they will be charged higher price. I have to put my schedule up in the bakery and find time to squeeze between other people's schedule s there. But I most likely would be booked just like other ladies icon_smile.gif And I am totally agree with Cakesdivine, fair is fair.

cakesdivine Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 5:49pm
post #10 of 42

Yes Divine Cakes...great minds think alike icon_wink.gif

DragonFly2333 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 5:49pm
post #11 of 42

gently playing devils advocate here.....

Is it possible that they came just to please the 'families expectations or a personal request?'

I have a big family like you. I'm one of 20 grandchildren and more than I can count second cousins. When it comes to events like showers and weddings, there's def a LONG list of things I have done just for the sake of the family....to appease an aunt, cousin or my mother.

Maybe your cousin's parents thought you would be offended if they didn't give you a chance, not realizing that this 'act of kindness' itself could be offending.

sadsmile Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 6:08pm
post #12 of 42

That's what I was kind of thinking Phoenixphilips along with since you have done the last 6 weddings in the family and the entitlement attitude going around... that they maybe just want something different and don't realize how they came off. But yes I'd have been irked too, if I were in your shoes.

jenmat Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 6:18pm
post #13 of 42

Absolutely phillips. That is what probably happened- this is a male cousin (as the rest were- my sis and I are oddities, the rest are all boys), and this particular fiancee is just not going to let ANYONE tell her how to run her special day.
I shouldn't care. I really shouldn't.
icon_rolleyes.gif
Last year when my sister got married they lied and told everyone they had another wedding to stand up in and they couldn't possibly make it. We all found out they went to a concert. I guess part of it is from that.
Business is business though, and I did tell them they had one week to make up their minds, and then I would be booked. I should have been booked already.
Oh well, live and learn!

sadsmile Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 6:27pm
post #14 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakesdivine

Yes Divine Cakes...great minds think alike icon_wink.gif




Huh? Are you starting to talk to yourself again... crickets.... or did I mess something?
icon_wink.gif

DragonFly2333 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 6:49pm
post #15 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by jentreu

Absolutely phillips. That is what probably happened- this is a male cousin (as the rest were- my sis and I are oddities, the rest are all boys), and this particular fiancee is just not going to let ANYONE tell her how to run her special day.
I shouldn't care. I really shouldn't.
icon_rolleyes.gif
Last year when my sister got married they lied and told everyone they had another wedding to stand up in and they couldn't possibly make it. We all found out they went to a concert. I guess part of it is from that.
Business is business though, and I did tell them they had one week to make up their minds, and then I would be booked. I should have been booked already.
Oh well, live and learn!




Your work is beautiful!

We have two family members who work at a certain hotel and ALL the family showers/parties have been done there. icon_rolleyes.gif For my SIL baby shower I managed to get my mom and aunt to check out a couple of different places. It was never my intention to waste the other locations time, but I guess it could have seemed that way.

As much as I tried to get 'out of the box,' shower after shower, party after party, we always ended up back at the hotel b/c, in the end, the price couldn't be beat and we were treated very well.

"Fortunately' the hotel became a victim to the economy.....YEAH!!!!....and my other brother just got engaged!

Time to start a new family tradition and guess who's is leading the way!!!
icon_biggrin.gif

ayerim979 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 6:56pm
post #16 of 42

I think its true (no offence OP) maybe your cousin wanted to bring his bride 2b just because he didnt want the family to talk crap.

In my family Im very crafty and everyone assumes I have to make everything (invites centerpieces,cakes etc.) and when I dont they always comment like so and so didnt ask you to make them the (invites centerpieces,cakes etc.) . And for some reason they feel Im going to get offended if I dont make it. Not knowing they are actually doing me a favor lol !!!

m1m Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 7:09pm
post #17 of 42

Let us know what eventually happens.

Your work is beautiful.

Spuddysmom Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 7:35pm
post #18 of 42

Okay, it does sound like they may be looking for a "graceful" way out of having you do a cake - very weird but who knows? They should NOT get a tasting; since you have done all cakes for everyone in the family, they have already tasted and seen your work. They sound like a pain-in-the-butt couple whom you don't want to create for, why not offer them an easy out? How about calling them and saying, "After talking with you I can see that you may want to go in a different direction for your cake. Since I am already really busy that weekend, why don't you choose someone else." then add, "don't worry, it REALLy won't hurt my feelings." Everyone's off the hook - no hard feelings... for results WITH hard feelings just tell them you are overbooked.

nesweetcake Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 7:37pm
post #19 of 42

Maybe time for a little white lie.....phone up the cousin....tell him you've received a phone call to do another wed on the same day. You already have two and can't possibly do theirs and the newly popped up one. You told the perspective client that you were waiting on an answer from a family member regarding the wed on their same day, that you told perspective that you would phone to see what their decision was. You could give the cousin 24 to reply and tell him....You know he is the groom and that sometimes his or his family choices are second to that of the bride. That you fully understand if they choose someone else and that your feelings would not be hurt. You are in the "wedding" business so to say, so you totally understand how things go. Express that you want to be fair to him and his fiance' along with your other customers. Perhaps it's a good way for them to gracefully bow out if they did want to go with someone else and a good way for you to possibly not have to do their cake either. Good Luck.

cakesbycathy Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 8:01pm
post #20 of 42

If you are going to feel resentful while doing the cake, then it's not worth doing. Call them up and tell them you are booked.

LKing12 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 8:07pm
post #21 of 42

If you have done so many cousins cakes-why a tasting? That was time and effort that you shouldn't even had to offer. Let us know if you get the booking.

alvarezmom Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 8:14pm
post #22 of 42

Sounds like the Bride will be a PITA!!! We all want to be fair when it comes to family, but this Bride is NOT family, YET! icon_lol.gif

You can always say you are booked and you cant do their cake. But as another poster said doing the cake and resenting them isnt going to help you or them.

cakesdivine Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 8:15pm
post #23 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by sadsmile

Quote:
Originally Posted by cakesdivine

Yes Divine Cakes...great minds think alike icon_wink.gif



Huh? Are you starting to talk to yourself again... crickets.... or did I mess something?
icon_wink.gif




Lelka's biz name is Divine Cakes, my biz name is Cakes Divine. Yes you missed something...but you do tend to space out at times... icon_biggrin.gif

jenmat Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 8:22pm
post #24 of 42

well, I will definitely tell you who they pick, and I do hope its not me! But if it is, I'll do it with smile, even when I'm biting my tongue. I truly would have been less offended if they never called!
Talked to me madre about it and she said the fiancee is just "like that" and there's been a lot of wedding drama over vendors. Glad to hear I'm not the only one!
I won't lie to them and tell them I've just booked up, because those things tend to bite me back hard!
I'll just need to unbunch my panties and get back to the job at hand! thumbs_up.gif

sadsmile Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 8:38pm
post #25 of 42

LOL I was looking at print and overlooked the avatar...

You're just jealous of my heavenly body
Image

icer101 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 8:47pm
post #26 of 42

i AGREE with tiggy2... couldn,t have said it any better!!!

mommyle Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 8:56pm
post #27 of 42

Well, jentreu, you have more class than me! good on you!

Mrs-A Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 9:03pm
post #28 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by jentreu

I .......... They made it very clear they are treating me as another of their vendors, ......




personally if they are treating you as any of their other vendors, then you should charge them as any another bride icon_evil.gif

i love CC bride stories, reminds me again why i enjoy being a super low maintance wife

malene541 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 9:34pm
post #29 of 42

You could always say "The more I've thought about your cake the more I realize that taking on another cake order would make it impossible for me to attend you wedding" If the bride is really a selfish kind of person she will want more people to attend the wedding than have a different cake????

jammjenks Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 9:51pm
post #30 of 42

Tell her you have a concert to go to. HA!

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