And for the record, I have 7 kids, 5 girls. Not to mention 2 much younger sisters and a very much younger brother. They don't mess with me. My kids have also mantained consistent 3.8-4.0 GPA's. And what does teen pregnancy have to do with any of this is beyond me. That has nothing to do with rules. Though I will say this the few friends have that have daughters my oldest's age, were very "understanding" parents. All thier daughters, pregnant. My super strict raider daughter, in college, no kids. And as far as religious school and teen pregnancy, that has nothing to do with kids getting pregnant.
oh yea here's a good one my neice a brat at the age, mom and dad divorced and thought her dad should buy her what she wanted, she lived with him in her teens, bought her a car wasn't good enough wanted a certain kind, one time he was yelling at her, she was cussing at him then she called the polce they came out, i told him i would have told them the things she was saying and what a brat she was and if they would allow their child to talk to them lile that, and then would have said hey if she thinks she has it so bad her and called you take her, and i would have ment it. boy would she have been shocked
LaBella Flor and I have pretty much the same parenting style. Strict but with love. I'm a lot more strict than most parents but the funny thing is all of their friends want to live with us. They always say how much fun they had over, but it was just a regular day and I treat them the same as I do my kids. I do give my kids some room to spread their wings and fly but they know the minute they give me a reason to I'll clip those wings. Trust is earned not given. I am my kids friend but I am their parent first and for most, friendship is just a side perk.
I understand what gibson is trying to say. You can't control your children but being a strict parent isn't about controlling your children. When you are strict though you still give your children room to grow and still trust them but you stand back let them make their mistakes to learn from. However, you step in when needed when they are going down the wrong path at the very start of the problem. We all have our different parenting styles and we each choose which one we will use. This will mold and shape our children into an adult and show what work ethic, morals, life style, religious outlook and personal strength/weaknesses they will more than likely have (however, there are always exceptions). I'm sure each of us have changed the way we do things compared to our parents trying to improve on the parenting as I'm sure our kids will too.
7yyrt.-- come too!!! I'm a former Marine and so is DH who is 6'2". He has to work very hard to take me down. The plus side is I know pressure points and he doesn't so it's easy for me to get one up on him.
jules06, that airline will be packed with short and ready people willing to give out a dose of humility.
Sadsmile- keep doing what you are doing and stay strong. When your daughter is raising her own kids you can sit back and smile while she realizes maybe your were right after all 
I remember that moment all too well when my mom became smart again.
Two of my four that are school age, one is in gifted classes and the other is in advanced honors and both maintain Honor roll. I encourage them to strive to do the best they can. And I don't mind failure so long as they have tried their best. You can learn a lot from failure and make adjustments in what you are doing and try again. I try to talk with them about everything and help them see the bigger picture and that their childhood is actually their preparation for adulthood and they will be ahead of the game maturity wise. The have such an understanding of why people behave the way they do, with the things they allow to influence them in their lives. We can't shelter our kids for life, but we can open their eyes and show them the reality of things and equip them for making their own level headed decisions. And part of that is not exposing them to too much of the wrong influences which is why we are strict with movies and they like Shoot my daughters friends are all watching movies like and this is one of the mild ones... The Notebook. Great Movie I absolutely love it, but I wouldn't dare show all that sex and mature situational stuff to my 13 year old daughter. Movies like Twilight (another one I love) show so much sexual longing and a helpless victim of a heroin that flits from the flower to flower of who is near by. The overtly sexual behavior in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and Transformers is inappropriate for their age yet most parents let their kids watch it anyway and much worse. Again I enjoyed the movies but am I gonna let my kids watch them... No not us. Movies can really influence your views on moral values and decisions. As the situations are presented you feel for the characters and want to like them and that nudges you in to the direction of justifying certain actions that that character portrayed. So I like to watch movies and see what type of things need to get discussed and believe me my daughter and son know right from wrong and most often they will start saying something about stuff while it is playing and voice their own thinking on it. I am not saying they won't watch it, but I am reserving those movies for when they are a little older. Why rush puberty by pushing emotional response to a movie that isn't even in their real life that involve situations that are beyond their age group? As soon as you see it and like it you try to be like it by emulating that behavior. Why do you think girls just coming into awareness of their own sexuality(and the power of it) and are also trying to assert their own independence seem to act like little slutty Victoria secret models...? Because that is the character trait that is most visible and desirable by the male population in society. Everyone wants to be liked and girls see guys talking about so and so and how she moves.... so what do those little girls do? Without guidance and support of parents who instill their worth, they will start acting like that so those guys will like them. It's all down hill from there. the ball can be stopped and maybe the girl will only go so far ya know... but that is why I am present and accounted for in my kid's lives. To help them keep things in check.
yes mkolmar all of their friends want to stay over here all of the time. We just fielded calls this morning before school asking if they could spend the night over again...LOL They would rather be here and having a good time then at home where their parents let them do whatever and ignore them.
Teens definitely need, and want, boundries; whether they know it or not!
My husband & I unfortunately have very different parenting styles. I am the strict disciplinarian, and I don't give in to whining and begging. If they ask for something in a reasonable tone, I'll consider it, but if I decide "No", that's it.
My husband wants to be their buddy, be the favorite parent, and doesn't want to upset them. He will give in to the whining because it's easiest for him at the moment to give in to shut them up. He also lets them get away with being very disrespectful.
Now, both kids understandably liked their Daddy best when they were younger, but they do not respect him. By the time my daughter was about 10-12, she out of the blue told me that even though she *likes* being able to get whatever she wants from her Daddy, she knows it's not good for her.
Now that she's a teen, in her rational moments (sometimes few & far between!) she has even admitted that she's glad I don't spoil her and buy her everything like some of her friends parents do. She has a cheap, pay-as-you-go phone that I got her and she has to pay for the minutes/service, and she just got an iPod nano, but no TV or computer. Some of her friends have $400 phones with unlimited everything, top of the line iPods, and get new ones everytime a newer & better model comes out, TVs and laptops in their rooms with no one monitoring how they are used, and more designer clothes than one kid can wear.
I believe you "Say what you mean and mean what you say" with kids. Never say anything you won't/can't back up. I personally don't believe in spanking (I was spanked and I am OK but it's just not my thing) but I would have no problem stripping their room of everything they had and make them earn each thing back. My nephew is spoiled terribly. He is lazy (11), doesn't value ANYTHING. I mean why should he value anything because he has broken 2 game things, like ninentendo or something, and they just bought him new ones. He has flat screen TV in his room, ninentendo, playstation, tons games, handhelds, a go cart (adult kind when he was 7), just everything. He is the only child and only grandchild there will ever be). He's extremely smart (reading 6 grade level in 1st grade) but gets in trouble at school all the time for disrespect and disruption.
I believe WHATEVER you promise your kids you give them. If you are in a store and you say "because you have acted up you will be on room restriction for 2 weeks" then you MUST follow through. If you promise your child you will buy them XYZ then within all your power you follow through.
I believe over indulgence is one of the sincerest forms of child abuse because it robs the child of the feeling of accomplishing something. Imagine never having that feeling. Imagine how you feel when you finish a cake and it turned out great. You feel so great. Now imagine you finish a special cake and you feel nothing. That's what today's game zombie kids feel. All their feelings are tied into a games. It's just not healthy.
I saw a child psychologist on TV a few years ago and he said that when kids, particularly boys play video games their brains are actually wiring themselves as if they were really in battle. And their euphoria threshold is raised so it takes more and more to get them excited about something (push for sex). I think this is the very reason we have thugs killing people for no reason, vandalizing for no reason (pushing over headstones ex.), breaking and entering and thefts for no reason (they'll have the money to buy something but prefer the thrill of stealing). These young adults no longer get the good excited feelings from hitting a home run or completing a project or even from the love of their families.
It's funny, I was raised by the strictest parents I knew but at the same time lenient. I was allowed to drive myself and my girlfriend to the beach for weekend, just us two, 2 weeks after turning 16 and getting my driver's license (we have a family beach house). But I knew what the rules where. I knew that I had to call by a certain time and if I didn't follow those rules that freedom was GONE. I had friends that weren't allowed to go on their own but their parents would let them argue and be disrespectful and cuss at them, break curfew (life as I knew it would end if I broke curfew even 10 minutes). But because my parents trusted I would follow the rules (no I wasn't an angel but I knew I must be responsible) so I was allowed. Military family with a 1sgt for a father and a mother who NEVER said "Wait till your father gets home" because she took care of the situation then and there and THEN we got in trouble again when dad got home. So we tried not to get in trouble too much...haha...
Ok I wrote a book..just my 2 cent, well looks like my .99.
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