Aaahhhh, Make It Stop!

Lounge By mkolmar Updated 3 Feb 2010 , 5:51pm by Jenteach

mkolmar Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 3:41am
post #1 of 15

My daughter is 9 and already has a few boys in her class thinking she's so cool and pretty. LORD HELP ME! A few of their parents have said that they think their sons are sweet on her. AWWW, how sweet......barf.
I know it will only get worse as she gets older. My question is how do I make it stop?!

14 replies
prterrell Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 3:43am
post #2 of 15

Unfortunately, you can't. icon_biggrin.gif

mkolmar Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 4:33am
post #3 of 15

I hate it when things are out of my control. icon_cry.gif

JGMB Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 12:45pm
post #4 of 15

You can't help what the boys (or their mothers) say or do, so you just have to work on it from your daughter's side. Make sure you stress that other things are more important than looks, i.e. kindness, intelligence, independence. That way, she'll have enough self esteem that she won't be looking to boys for validation. Also, it's never too early to start sex education -- only age-appropriate stuff, of course. Hang in there!

Pookie59 Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 2:57pm
post #5 of 15

I agree with JGMB. I would also hope your daughter doesn't think that having a boyfriend is her sole goal in life. So many girls get distracted that way and lose sight of education and career goals which are way more important that whether or not some silly boy likes you.

costumeczar Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 6:08pm
post #6 of 15
Originally Posted by JGMB

You can't help what the boys (or their mothers) say or do, so you just have to work on it from your daughter's side. Make sure you stress that other things are more important than looks, i.e. kindness, intelligence, independence. That way, she'll have enough self esteem that she won't be looking to boys for validation. Also, it's never too early to start sex education -- only age-appropriate stuff, of course. Hang in there!

Agreed. And don't let her dress like a hoochie.

MalibuBakinBarbie Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 8:03pm
post #7 of 15

Okay, I don't have any children, but I've got lots of nieces! I can understand your concerns... Off the top of my head, I can think of a few things you can do to help your daughter remain confident, self-reliant and focused as she gets older (and closer to becoming a teenager!). Make sure she keeps her hobbies and interests, such as sports, dance, or clubs. You can teach her about the importance of self-respect. Make sure she knows education comes FIRST. I'm sure she's already learning about the value of friendships, giving her a head-start. With your help, she'll be fine. thumbs_up.gif

CakeForte Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 11:22pm
post #8 of 15

ummm yeah! Please try to keep her from ending up like my friend that has to jump from boyfriend to boyfriend because she doesn't have the confidence or self-esteem to think that she can prosper alone. She takes any guy that throws a compliment her way. It's really pathetic...and she's almost 30.

Mrs-A Posted 1 Feb 2010 , 11:38pm
post #9 of 15

im not a parent but i have 5 nephews and only 1 neice and whew - collectively we worry more about her than the 5 of the boys put together! dont get me wrong, shes a great kid (16yrs-now thats scary!) but there just never seems a time in her life that you can sit back and go whew, no stress here. meaning first it was to teach her stranger danger, then about the whole boy/girl thing, now shes in her late teens so its about safe driving and parties and once she is 18 the worry will be drinking/drink spiking etc!

she has alot of ugly uncles, cousins/brothers and mean looking aunts that have made her life interesting to say the least - FORTUNATELY she has her mothers personality and is very easy going so not much fazes her

i have litereally stood at the door looking down at a young man that has come a'calling and i said to him "i scuba dive you know, i know numerous ways on how to kill you and i can put your body in places they will NEVER find it!"... hmmm, he never came back after that - wonder why


mkolmar Posted 2 Feb 2010 , 3:45am
post #10 of 15

ha! Mrs-A that was a good one. My DH and I both served in the Marines so we plan on scaring any little want to be hoochie or pimp that comes to our door calling for our daughters and boys.

My daughter has her head on pretty straight already. We are strict parents, but try to let them have some breathing room to come into their own also. Mind you we are hovering over them the whole time but trying to act like we aren't. She told me that boys are going to get in her way of her going to art school. Then she also told me "Mom, I'm going to be a wife and have kids but only when I'm old, at least 25." She's so funny.

No worries ladies, no daughter of mine will dress like a little hoochie. I'll invite her friends and their parents over to have a bon-fire if that ever happens.

The boys seem to like her because she's more of a tomboy. She's good at skateboarding and likes the same kind of shows they do. She always has and that's just her, not her trying to fit in thank goodness.
She has pretty good self confidence and we are always trying to boost it higher since she's at the age where it can get damaged so easily.

The problem is that she's getting bigger and I can see the boys wanting to come calling for a date in the pre- teen years happening (yeah right buddy, you just can keep on walking.) She went to a father daughter dance and was in a *gasp* dress and even let me put a little make-up on her. (It was only because they had photos also and it was a very special event with her daddy.) My goodness, she was gorgeous! I never realized how full her lips were till I put some lip gloss on her. A few boys were there helping hand out drink and no one believed it was her. They kept asking where Raya and her dad was until the her other girl friends pointed her out. That's when a lot of the boys started taking notice. Thank goodness she's only in 4th grade and I have a little longer before any serious calls start to happen. I want her to rely on herself and her family not some boy.

Oh one of the boys moms knitted her a scarf. She loves it, but DH and I have one eye open. icon_lol.gif

sherrycanary62 Posted 2 Feb 2010 , 2:27pm
post #11 of 15

as the mother of 3 daughters all I can say is................

buckle your seat belt!! icon_biggrin.gif

emrldsky Posted 2 Feb 2010 , 4:23pm
post #12 of 15

Ok, all I'm going to say is just a bit to add to the sex education thing.

When I was in 4th and 5th grade, there were girls that would let boys put their hands up their shirts, etc. I knew what sex was, I knew a lot more than I'm sure my parents thought I knew.

So, I don't want to scare the crud out of parents of young children, but that was back in 1991-1992. It really is important to approach it early.

Btw, I think you're doing a GREAT job with your daughter. She sounds like a well-balanced girl who knows what she wants. You're going to have fun when she's a teenager though. icon_wink.gif Sounds like she's going to have a more mature personality and outlook on life (intellectually speaking) than the other kids her age.

mkolmar Posted 3 Feb 2010 , 4:24am
post #13 of 15

She'll be fine hopefully as she grows older. She's more mature in some ways when it comes to things. It's funny because she's more childish than some of her friends because we don't let her watch a lot of tv shows (no tv, computer or video games during the school week allowed--weekends only). Even Hannah Montana isn't allowed. She's watched it a few times at friends houses and asked them to change it because it's stupid and they act dumb. She gets upset when boys/girls act certain ways on tv. She says it makes all kids look stupid and they are not. She's into art, playing and such. Not clothes, the hot tv shows or anything like that. It's kind of odd because the more we keep her away from some thing to let her remain her age of 9 (so she's not thinking and acting like 15.) the more mature we notice she really is than a lot of the other kids her age in her thinking.

I did find out today though that she gave a boy named Scott our phone number so he can call. They are good friends and have been for 2 years. I just told her wait till daddy find out.

I love my kids but I think sherrycanary is right -- I better buckle my seat belt! I have 2 daughters and 2 sons who will all be teenagers at the same time. I'm screwed!

just_for_fun Posted 3 Feb 2010 , 3:47pm
post #14 of 15

I think keeping her away from all the garbage on TV actually keeps her more mature, cause she doesn't imagine that dressing like a slut and acting stupid will bring you ahead in life.

And if she was friends with this kid for 2 yrs already, I don't see the damage in allowing him to call/visit. Just keep 1 1/2 eyes open.

My daughter is 9, but my older sil's all say she's going on 19. The comments she makes are not what you'd expect from her age. I can't wait til she's a teenager, she'll really give me a run for the money...

Jenteach Posted 3 Feb 2010 , 5:51pm
post #15 of 15

I get some of the same comments from moms of boys in my daughter's class - and she's just in Kindergarten and only 5. I have already told my husband he better be ready with the baseball bat at the door when the boys start coming around the house! HEHEHE

Seriously though, I think if we instill the values and morals we think our daughters should follow, they will turn out ok thumbs_up.gif


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