navywifetrat Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 1:34pm

Our husband's don't really have a clue. My husband came home one day and asked what all I had done because even though I had cleaned, there were toys every where. The next day, I did absolutely nothing, didn't lift a finger on anything! He figured out really quick what I did in a days time! Of course, it was a pain getting all of it done after letting it sit for the whole day but it was well worth him saying he would never question me again! thumbs_up.gif

Also, there were 2 years in a row that I had to go home for a funeral. I knew that both were dieing so I had it all planned out for him. I made a list for the older 2 that he was staying home with as to who was putting them on the bus, him or my friend, who was feeding them when, a menu as to what he could cook, if I hadn't frozen something for him, etc. I took the baby with me (who is now 3)! He had it made! Now, he always likes to tell me that he can do because he did it two separate times. Next, there won't be a schedule and lets see if he gets is all figured out! icon_lol.gif

jescapades Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 2:45pm

hi! can i join you? i am a sahm of 16 month old twin boys, alexander and jonathan. my mother comes over every day to help me (and to keep me sane) and 4 days a week, we have my 19 month old nephew. all three boys keep us very busy, since they are getting into everything, walking, running, dancing and unfortunately my nephew is bullying.

i am also going to photography school. it's nice because it's a distance learning school, so i actually don't have to go anywhere.

my husband is in a band, so once a week, he has band practice and once a week or so, he has a show. i am with the boys when he's away, which used to be hard when they were really little because one was extremely colicky. i love it now, we get to play together and have our quiet time before bed.

thanks for letting me join in.

ckkerber Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 3:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaLovesCakes

I don't have my little one in any activities right now outside of the home, so I don't go out much except for errands to the grocery store or drug store. I don't know any other SAHMs in my neighborhood so I don't interact much either so it can get a little lonely at times.




I don't know if this would even interest you, but there's a Mom's group called MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and it's international so there are groups all over. It is a Christian based group but not specific to any one religion. I go to meetings at a Lutheran school and I'm Catholic . . . it doesn't matter what religion you are. It's mostly a support group for mom's and it's fantastic. You meet twice a month for the most part and you bring your kids along - they've got on-site child care so while you have your 2 hour meeting, the kids are playing, eating snack, etc . . . with other kids their age. In the meetings, the moms eat breakfast together, chat, share ideas, do crafts sometimes . . . it really is a great network of other mom's so you can all commisserate together. It's not just for SAHM's, either, as I know the one I go to also has an evening meeting for working mom's. It's just a great way to meet other mom's, get some time just for you to unwind and relax. Meetings cover all sorts of topics . . . our group has had speakers on topics like digital photography and kids, fashion, organization of the home, and we even had a spa day where people were there doing paraffin wax hand dips, massages, make-up consultations, etc . . . AND, the best part is that it isn't expensive. You only pay $75 for the YEAR (from Sept. through May) and that helps cover things like child care costs and dues to the international group. And even if that's a bit much, I know that they have scholarships because they don't want any mom to feel like they don't have a place.

Just a thought . . . I've gotten so much out of my group and thought someone else might enjoy it, too. You're eligible up until your kids are kindergarteners so as long as you've got a preschooler at home, you can attend. If you want to look into it, you can go to www.MOPS.org and just click on "join a group" to find one in your area.

And no, I'm not on their "recruitment committee" icon_lol.gif I just really appreciate that there's a group out there that specifically caters to mom's and totally "gets" how hard our jobs are.

j9morabit Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 8:31pm

It's not as if we could just pick up and go on vacation with our girlfriends whenever we want, but just for fun, imagine what it would be like for our husbands if we were gone for a week. What if we didn't prepare things and make lists like navywifetrat did? What if they were on their own, like we are every day? What would the house look like? What would the children look like? How many pizza boxes would there be in the garbage can when we returned? I'm not complaining - I have a wonderful, supportive husband. I'm just saying if he could be in my shoes for at least a few days, he would know that we are not the ladies of leisure people think we are.

You can always tell when our church has a ladies weekend retreat by looking at the little ones that come to the nursery on that Sunday morning. The little girls don't have their hair as pretty as usual, some of the clothes don't match. Some kids are missing socks or shoes. It's pretty funny. Their daddies do their best, but it's not quite the same as when Mom's home, is it?

navywifetrat Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 8:45pm

A friend of mine told me that when she has gone away for a weekend the house was great when she came home. The husband made it look like everything went well and she was impressed. Then the kids opened their little mouths and told the mom how things really went! I can see my husband doing the same thing! Of coure, he would probably bribe my kids because they are older not to tell! But it would still come out! My kids would love it because they would love to eat out more, order pizza, etc! thumbs_up.gif They don't appreciate my home cooked meals! icon_cry.gif Maybe one day they will!

MariaLovesCakes Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 9:27pm

My husband is pretty good when I am not home. I had to leave to Puerto Rico for my brother's wedding and left my husband home with the youngest (3 yrs old).

When I came back home the house was immaculate! he is always like that. He is very supportive of me staying home and is actually insisting that I stay longer that planned.

ckkerber Posted 24 Jan 2007 , 10:36pm

My hubby is pretty good, too. He can't match clothes worth a darn but since we have two little boys, it's basically navy, gray, and denim so there's not much room for error. He can handle the kids every bit as well as I can. He doesn't do much cooking so they'd eat out more but other than that he'd do just fine. He does know what's involved with staying home all day, day in and day out and he's the one looking for me to get relief. I think that because he works so much and is gone a lot, he feels guilty and makes the most of every minute that he is home.

heather2780 Posted 25 Jan 2007 , 2:36am

husbands always say they can handle the house even when they cant I went to visit my family for 16 days I took both of our children with me I handled all the bills online and gave him list for things I couldnt do online and when I would talk to him he would say everything is good no problems at all well the night i get home the house looks ok on the surface until I open the dishwasher and there sat all the dishes I had loaded into the dishwasher 16 days before talk about gross I mean how hard is it to turn on the dishwashwer I also found out from his coworkers that he ate nothing but frozen burrittos and fast food for 2 weeks I just laughed men do not know how much we do for them and for our houses and kids and everyone else.

j9morabit Posted 26 Jan 2007 , 2:16am

I have a question for you SAHMs. Do you guys wear makeup every day?

Maybe I should have started a new thread?

heather2780 Posted 26 Jan 2007 , 2:27am

I do not wear make-up unless I have somewhere to go and the grocery store does not count but if were going to a play group or a little mini field trip or a teacher confrence I will put on makeup but day makeup if that makes since not what I would wear if i were say going out to dinner with my husband. It took me awhile before I was confident going out withough a full overhall from head to toe but in the time it takes to do all of that my 3 year old would have the house turned upside down and id be to busy cleaning to go out. icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

jescapades Posted 26 Jan 2007 , 2:30am

so i guess i just jump right in then.

i don't wear makeup everyday unless i am going out somewhere (not like the store or my pt appointments or anything).

my dh is not too bad with the house. for the most part, he will clean or pick up if i go out, but i have never been gone over night. he does have some trouble with meals though. he will only feed the boys gerber pasta pickups or hotdogs. he tries, though and i appreciate it. he does a lot around here normally. i really can't complain.

does anyone else have twins in this group?

j9morabit Posted 26 Jan 2007 , 2:40am

I used to be really fussy about my appearance while I was working. Once I quit my job, I quit putting my face on every day. Now I only put it on if I have to go somewhere. Even then sometimes I don't wear it. I feel so free! I love not worrying about it. I do kind of feel bad for my husband, though. He's so sweet though, he doesn't complain.

MariaLovesCakes Posted 26 Jan 2007 , 1:39pm

Not everyday. Since I am at the house during the day and then go pick up my daughter at school and the occasional trip to supermarket, I don't see the need to.

On Saturdays and Sundays I do.

gilpnh Posted 26 Jan 2007 , 1:59pm

No makeup except for more special trips out. Although I could use it, one of those people where makeup and hairspray go along way.

I have had to leave DH at home from time to time for 4 or 5 days while I went to conventions. Leave detailed lists. Come home. he never looked at the list, homework for 9 year old not done all week, his sister and mom show up and bail him out on the housework and meals. Was aggrevated the first time but have learned to let it go.

My youngests are almost twins, 5 months apart, attend 1/2 day preschool together.

ckkerber Posted 26 Jan 2007 , 9:24pm

I'm one of those make-up everyday kind of people. I wear light make up everyday, more make-up for date nights and social events. But I have really let go on the wardrobe (I'm a sweats almost every day kind of girl) so it makes me feel better about myself to be made up.

melissablack Posted 27 Jan 2007 , 12:11am

Thanks for posting that about the MOPS group... I searched for one in my area and I think I'm going to join! I just moved to a new area and don't have many contacts here so I really need to meet new people.

If I am just staying home all day I don't put on make up, but if I go out at all I wear light make up every day. My skin is too uneven not to thumbsdown.gif

megankennedy Posted 27 Jan 2007 , 12:34am

I am so glad you started this post! It's good to have association, you don't feel so alone. I only have one other sahm friend and she has 4 kids, so she's in a whole different league. I have a very busy 7 month old and am not planning on "going back" to work. but I am in the process of starting an event planning business - of course including cakes....
Things have been interesting around here lately, my husband and I just bought our first investment home and are completely renovating it. So as we both decided he is working on it about 4 days a week after his full time job. So that's pretty much my story.... icon_biggrin.gif

ckkerber Posted 27 Jan 2007 , 5:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissablack

Thanks for posting that about the MOPS group... I searched for one in my area and I think I'm going to join! I just moved to a new area and don't have many contacts here so I really need to meet new people.

If I am just staying home all day I don't put on make up, but if I go out at all I wear light make up every day. My skin is too uneven not to thumbsdown.gif




Let me know what you think about it . . . I know we have a lot of groups in my immediate area and some have waiting lists to get in so if you call and that group is full, check others in the area. Also, if there aren't others close by definitely get on the waiting list. We have new people joining almost every meeting so there is turn over due to people moving, etc . . . I really like the group because it focuses specifically on moms and what we do all day, day in and day out and you're with a big group of other moms going through the same things you are. My group does lots of social things, too. Some are daytime events with the kids, some are evening or weekend events with just adults (moms or couples). We do an annual trivia night, have movie nights or dinners out, etc . . . so you can get as involved as you want to get. I've really gotten a lot out of it.

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