Shyness?

Decorating By Kitagrl Updated 20 Jan 2010 , 3:58am by adree313

Kitagrl Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 1:10am
post #1 of 17

Any of you shy at all?

People who know me would not consider me "shy" per se...but when I'm speaking to someone I do not know well, I tend to stumble over my words at times or easily forget or mix up things or mumble once in awhile. I can write/email like a champ, LOL....and I try my very hardest to come across to a stranger as confident and outgoing...but then my speech betrays me by stumbling or seeming less than confident...and then it throws me off.

Obviously baking/decorating is perfect for me because 90% of it is in the kitchen...but its that 10% I have trouble with...talking with clients. haha. Usually I'm okay during a short phone consult or whatever...but sometimes I feel that I totally bomb a tasting...its hard to always know exactly what to say, and how to be sure I don't stumble over my words or anything. I'm confident in my work...I guess just not my personality!

Is it just me?

16 replies
creatingcakes Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 1:26am
post #2 of 17

I have the same problem- I am interested to hear what anyone else has to say, but I know how you feel! icon_redface.gificon_biggrin.gif

Price Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 1:27am
post #3 of 17

No, it's definitely not just you! I'm shy and have to force myself to be more outgoing. I am to the point with my fondant modeling that I would like to try to market my figures to a local bakery. I keep procrastinating because of my fear of approaching them with my figures, and the fear of rejection!

FromScratch Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 1:38am
post #4 of 17

Oh gosh no.. we all go through that. I find that rehearsing with myself can be helpful. I have a list of information I want to make sure I go over. And I write it down outline style to have with me so I can go over it and not miss anything. I have my schpeals about what sets me apart down pat. I know the answers to the questions most often asked, and if I don't know... I am not afraid to say I'll get back to them with a specific answer. I remind myself to slow down... when I get a little flustered I talk fast.

adree313 Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 1:41am
post #5 of 17

I am beyond shy. Now, you wouldn't know it if you saw me talking to people I really know. I'm loud and obnoxious with people I'm comfortable with. But strangers? Totally different story. I can't talk to people I don't know unless they talk to me first (or unless I get a really good "vibe" from them, or I'm just pretending to be super confident that day).

I hate answering the phone if I don't know who it is. I hate talking on the phone period. I, like you, can write/email/text like a champ lol. I know, I know, typical young adult now a days. But, really, I just like to be able to think about my words before I put them out there. I'm known for my stumbling, rambling, "oh my gosh why am I even talking" speech when I'm meeting new people.

Speaking of speeches... Whenever I had to give a speech in school -- oh no. Sweating EVERYWHERE. Stuttering. Rambling. Light headedness. Upset stomach. Shaking knees/hands/everything. Not a pretty sight.

You are not alone, my dear!

iamelms Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 1:41am
post #6 of 17

I battle with this too! I agree with Price, it's definitally due to fear of rejection. However, if someone has come to you about a cake, they must be interested in your ability. You can always ask questions about the event that the cake is for, people like to discuss happy occations. However, when I try to talk to other decorators about getting to work with them or just general questions, I get very flustered and start doubting my abilities!

Kitagrl Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 1:46am
post #7 of 17

adree, I'm so like that! I can break into a sweat just talking on the phone to somebody! The funny thing is, before I was a cake decorator I was a high school teacher...duh you'd think I'd be able to handle this...but you get to know the kids and then its not so bad. I did stumble over my words sometimes teaching too. icon_smile.gif

I just want to come across confident and smart and professional to my clients and I feel like I'm going along great and then my mind will go blank, or I'll realize I forgot something, or my tongue will suddenly get tied and I feel like an idiot. haha.

I HATED speech class in college....

Kitagrl Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 1:47am
post #8 of 17

(Oh and incidentally I keep kicking myself...last year I sent my video in for that ultimate cake off show...I told my hubby that I totally lost because my personality STINKS. haha)

Melvira Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 2:02am
post #9 of 17

Ok, if you've read any of my posts, you're going to laugh your head off at this... I am PAINFULLY shy. I mean almost to the point that meeting new people makes me sick.

Do you know how I make up for it? I act all outgoing and throw myself into those situations head first. It really work. I just act like a genial extrovert, and somehow I think I fool myself into thinking that's really me. I have to admit, my shyness comes and goes in direct correspondence with my weight. When I'm carrying extra weight it's harder on me. When I was at my heaviest due to health reasons I was pretty much to the point of agoraphobia. We went to a movie one time and it was a busy opening day... I was sweating, my heart was racing, I just wanted to sink into the floor. It was awful. I will hopefully never have to deal with that again!

Kitagrl Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 2:06am
post #10 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

Ok, if you've read any of my posts, you're going to laugh your head off at this... I am PAINFULLY shy. I mean almost to the point that meeting new people makes me sick.

Do you know how I make up for it? I act all outgoing and throw myself into those situations head first. It really work. I just act like a genial extrovert, and somehow I think I fool myself into thinking that's really me. I have to admit, my shyness comes and goes in direct correspondence with my weight. When I'm carrying extra weight it's harder on me. When I was at my heaviest due to health reasons I was pretty much to the point of agoraphobia. We went to a movie one time and it was a busy opening day... I was sweating, my heart was racing, I just wanted to sink into the floor. It was awful. I will hopefully never have to deal with that again!




Wow! I try to do that, but the moment I stumble over my words or stutter, I get all scared and I pull back because I know the curtain got pulled aside, like in the Wizard of Oz. haha.

adonisthegreek1 Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 2:40am
post #11 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

... I have to admit, my shyness comes and goes in direct correspondence with my weight. When I'm carrying extra weight it's harder on me. When I was at my heaviest due to health reasons I was pretty much to the point of agoraphobia. ...




I agree totally Melvira. I am a completely different person when I'm not carrying extra weight. I know that people are more open to my ideas based solely on my appearance. That's just the way that our society works. I am the same person whether I weigh 125 or 155, but I feel more confident and am more successful when I am 125.

Kitagrl Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 2:41am
post #12 of 17

I've been trying to lose weight for that reason too...it does help...

adonisthegreek1 Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 2:42am
post #13 of 17

Oh, Melvira, I love your new look! The new hair color makes you look really youthful. I sent you a PM a couple of weeks ago, but I never saw it in my sent box so I don't think it went through.

Darth_Aerdna Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 3:04am
post #14 of 17

Last year at my work we all had to take a personality test. It turned out that I was the only introvert in our entire department.

I have known all my life that I am shy, but finally being labeled an "introvert" helped me make better sense of why I have had so many problems of people thinking that I was "standoffish" (as one former boss put it) and seem kind of unfriendly at times.

Like everyone else who has posted before me, I have trouble talking to strangers. Making small talk, even with people I know can be torture. I prefer to sit back and watch what other people are doing and saying. I speak only if I have something important to say.

I am not a member on facebook to twitter because I don't care what my friend had for breakfast, and I don't see why anyone would care what I am eating for dinner!

The funny thing is that I work with kids, and can be the most fun and outgoing person- as long as it is with children. I guess I find kids less judgmental!

Melvira Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 3:15am
post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by adonisthegreek1

Oh, Melvira, I love your new look! The new hair color makes you look really youthful. I sent you a PM a couple of weeks ago, but I never saw it in my sent box so I don't think it went through.




I...LOVE...YOU! icon_lol.gif Seriously, thank you for the compliment! And no, I don't recall getting a PM! icon_cry.gif I ALWAYS write back, and usually very quickly, so if you don't hear from me right away, something went wrong! Hahaha!

I feel good about myself right now, but I have a lot more work to do. Lose, gain, lose, gain, two babies... ugh, saggy tummy! Blech! *someone needs a nip and a tuck* hahahaha. I know I'm not ugly, but I rarely feel pretty. I'm sort of starting to now. I'm just an average gal that has spent a loooooong time relying on her personality. icon_rolleyes.gif My hubby thinks I'm beautiful and that's really all that matters. Well, and God and I both think so too! thumbs_up.gif (At least on the inside, right??!)

azglobs, I totally know what you mean about some people thinking you might be standoffish. I get that sometimes. In high school I had a couple things working against me... I was 'punk' with the rainbow mohawk, and I had bad vision but didn't wear glasses so I would walk through the halls squinting. I looked like I was looking for someone who's head I could remove from their body apparently! When I'd get introduced to someone new and hang out with them they'd always say, "Oh my gosh! You are so nice! I never would've guessed you were so sweet!" Niiiice! Hehehe.

motherofgrace Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 3:16am
post #16 of 17

the weight thing is big for me I wonder " do I look like a total hippo in this?" also when I was younger I moved around quite a bit, and altho I made friends easily, it was becasue they talked to me first.

I find Im more shy with alot of people, and can be more outgoing with a smaller group for talking. But when I used to dance, a small group would freak me right out, but a big group I could do solos!

guess im just an odd ball!

adree313 Posted 20 Jan 2010 , 3:58am
post #17 of 17

Weight has always been a problem for me, too. I tried all sorts of dieting, but I just learned to accept that I love food icon_biggrin.gif I love all the things "we shouldn't love", but I've come to accept it and I'm not going to make myself miserable just to gain acceptance. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't eat crap all day everyday, but if I want some cake/a cookie/a brownie/some fried chicken/Jack in the Box, you better believe I'm gonna eat it and I won't feel bad about it! icon_biggrin.gif

With all that said... I'm a girl! Of course I'm going to have my "oh my god I can't walk out looking like THIS in THESE jeans!!!" But... I do. And I live. And people are nice. Lol.

It was funny, I got home from my first day of work and I told my mom "Oh my gosh, everyone is SO nice it's almost scary!" my mom just said, "Adreanna, not EVERYONE is mean. There are nice people in the world, ya know." Huh, whoda thunk it?! I'm working on realizing it's not ALWAYS about looks. If your personality shines, people will like you. I'm proof icon_rolleyes.gif I'm no stick thin beauty queen, but hey. I have friends! And some even like me icon_biggrin.gif

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