Dear CC-ers,
As a newbie, this is the first time I write something in this forum, but I feel so frustrated that I would like to vent. I know we all deal with '''special" customers once and a while, but I never experienced this! It has really left me with a bad and insecure feeling for the past two days.

This is what happened: I received an e-mail from a potential client who asked me if it was possible to order a custom cake for his first wedding anniversary. He said he wanted the cake to be delivered at her work, so her coworkers and boss would be 'blown away'. He was in quite a hurry, the cake was supposed to be delivered next Saturday (I received the e-mail two days ago).

What he wanted was extreme and I am not kidding (I actually wondered right after I received the e-mail whether it was a hoax, but it later turned out it wasn't). Okay, the cake had to be a replica (!) of Kylemore Castle in Ireland, because that is where he proposed. And to make things even more complicated, he wanted a miniature Chrysler 300c (!!!) in front of the castle, with him and his wife sitting in the car!!! Excuse me, WHAT???

I replied that it was impossible to do a cake like that in such a short time frame and offered to make something much simpler: two hearts, some drapings, gumpaste roses etc. He was clearly dissappointed, but agreed with my suggestion after having tried other cake decorators, but he insisted on a filling of oreo and buttercream.

I told him the price for the hearts with the whole charade would cost around 70 euro, that I didn't make oreo-buttercream fillings and that he had to pick up the cakes himself. I actually thought I had made him happy to offer him the possibility to even have a custom cake at such short notice. However, he didn't agree with the price at all and said that I SHOULD come down with my price or 'the deal was off". I kindly told him that that was my lowest price, but that if he couldn't afford it, I wanted to see if there was a hobby baker in his neighborhood that could do the cake for less.

His response was awful and I still feel so bad about it! He said that I was an arrogant b*tch. That I put myself above other cake designers calling them "hobby bakers" and that I wasn't even worth baking for the 'lowest of the lowest'.

Of course I replied. I told him that I had to ask higher prices because I have to give half to the IRS and that a person baking out of hobby doesn't have to make those expenses. I REALLY wanted to help him in finding a person that could bake for his budget. And this is what I get. Maybe I feel most awful, because he hasn't even responded after my last e-mail. Nothing. And now I am walking around with this dreadful feeling.

I am sorry, I know I shouldn't think about this anymore, but I just needed to vent.

Thanks for reading.
Mireille

I wouldn't give him another thought....You should never have to justify your prices or feel guity for offering suggestions for a lower budget.He doesn't want to pay for it....so be it ...Next.....jerks like this expect the world for nothing and then when you say no..They call you names...A hole!

I've learned through experiences in life, that if a person has that attitude from the very beginning, it doesn't get any better. So be glad you aren't doing a cake for him of any kind - at all! You would regret it, most likely, and you probably would never have pleased him, no matter how great the cake would have been. Don't give it another thought.

Sounds like he was having a grown up tantrum to me! He is probably used to getting his way and can't handle it when he doesn't. Don't give it another thought. Be glad you're not the poor woman celebrating an anniversary with him!

I'm sorry he made you feel so awful.

I love to give it right back to this sort of person.....a response to "bring them down a few notches" would be....

I'm so sorry that your budget doesn't allow for a high end custom cake, I guess your wife will just have to be happy with a grocery store cake.

OR

Maybe in a few years you'll be able to afford my magnificent cakes.

I love to hit men like this where it hurts the most.....their pants...um I mean wallet.

Please don't give this jerk another thought, it's his problem that he can't afford his champagne taste on his beer barrel budget.

After the arrogant b**** point....you hang up. Nobody deserves the courtesy of you staying on the phone after behaving like that.

This guy sounds like a bully to me. I feel sorry for his wife.

I have learned to never defend myself against verbal bullying. I would have just said "I'm sorry you feel that way." And hung up. He is NOT worth any more of your time, even time you might spend thinking about his nastiness.

Just be glad you don't have to deal with him anymore.

Aww, those people can just sap the smile outta your day. As others said, a-hole, ignore him, you tried very hard to help. Some people think they are just entitled.

Good grief, what a bully.

bully, bully, bully! Just let it go and don't worry about him - your cakes are worth the price, some people are just cheap!

Just remember that he tried his tactics on the other bakers besides you and they did not give him what he wanted either, so he struck out at you.

You should just put him on your "Never do a cake" list and be glad you are not stuck hearing him complain about your cake to get a refund.

Don't give this jerk another thought!

Okay... so he balked at the price of the easier cake when you said you couldn't do the over the top one he wanted? His original design idea would have cost him a whole lot more.

Also... please note it was his wife's coworkers and boss he wanted to blow away... not her. He sounds like a showoff whose whole identity is wrapped up in how he appears to other people.

And the way he treated you was just inconceivable. I can't say I wouldn't give him another thought... if it were me it would bug me all day... BUT the problem was all him, not you, and you don't deserve to feel guilty or bad for the way you handled yourself at all... just irritated because he was really and truly a jerk.

- Leisel

do you have his email address and phone number? if yes, google all the timeshares, indian mobile phone call centres and religion organisations you can and sign him up for as many as you can....... or maybe thats just me that would do that

That's what you say that behavior like that is not acceptable and he can take his business elsewhere now and in the future.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I feel a lot better. I know I should take it like this, for crying out loud, I am 40! I should know better!

Mrs-A, your reply made me LOL! I love it!

Oh my oh my. That is horrible. I don't see where his confusion is from as your web site clearly says suggested prices for sculpted cakes. And it is indicated to order at least two weeks before the cake is needed.
He was asking the impossible at the last minute and then throwing a fit at your suggestions. I am glad you are not making a cake for this arrogant fool who thinks he can dictate your business to you. You don't deserve to be treated like that, just because his last minute ideas can't be done.

Your cakes are beautiful works of art! Don't let him ruin your mood any longer. Hopeful you won't hear from him again.

If you do I would copy and paste from your website the specifics on pricing and ordering time wise and and at this time you can not fulfill an order such as this. Have a Wonderful Day and Happy Anniversary to you and your devotedly patient saint of a wife!

He doesn't have to see your finger salute while pressing send. Keep it professional in all contact and then don't correspond with him any longer.

my my my...sounds like someone has a little winkie!!!

I know I am massively thin skinned but the instant this cretin had raised his voice to me he would have been talking to air.

Lack of planning and lack of funds sounds like a personal issue to me and I am not Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny nor the Tooth Fairy. I work for money and if you don't have the money, honey, I don't have the time!!!

Forget this asinine - he isn't worth a thought and as someone said, it wasn't to impress his wife, it was to impress her boss/coworkers and I bet they already have an opinion on him that isn't sweet!

*cough* I'd sign his email address up on a bunch of those penis enlargement and premature ejaculation sites where they spam you endlessly to buy their products. Do it for a laugh, it might make you feel better

After that though, I'd just let it go. Don't accept his negative energy as your own. Exhale, and be done with it

What I can't believe is that this "jerk" (and that's me saying it nicely) asked you for an extreme cake and a car cake to boot and wanted this in 2 Days?!!

Are you kidding me?...... I would have told him, to wait a minute while I whip out my magic cake wand out of the oven and poof, it will be done...

Don't let it bother you too much........ there are a lot of ungrateful people out there who expect everything for FREE.........they are not use to hearing the word, NO........

Keep your chin up.......

I agree that the guy is a bully..jerk.. etc..etc... but mrs.a's way of dealing with him brough a huge smile to my face..and a good laugh to my heart. thanks..

He sucks. He had a little "mantrum" when he couldn't get what he wanted in order to show off to the people in the office and took it out on you. Not your fault, nothing you could do to prevent the little weenie from being himself. What a jerk.

Don't take it personally, I'm sure he treats everyone the same way. This is the type of person who snaps his fingers at the waiter and expects everyone to jump at his greatness.

quote]like him have an uncanny ability to hone in on your sensitive point and exploit it. He sensed you were caring and went for the juggular by implying you weren't when you didn't give him what he wanted.[/quote]


This is completely true it is in part because of men like this there are women's shelters. This is a classic example of emotional abuse.

[quote]He made you feel bad because he implied that you think less of hobby bakers and now you are concerned that you might come across that way. [unquote]

You really nailed it. You are so right. That is exactly how I felt!!! I was really wondering if I come across like that. But after reading the posts here I really feel better. It gives GREAT perspective!

WOW...I'm speechless . I'm sorry that you had that experience with a customer. I wouldn't give him much thought. He's an arrogant pr**k (excuse my french). Its HIS LOSS that he is not going to receive one of your awesome cakes.

I've come to accept that some people are just CRAAAAAZY! I mean really..... what some people expect other people to do for them is just ludacris.

Keep your head up, don't doubt you abilities, and continue making fabulous cakes for those who deserve them

Mireille - don't let this knucklehead get to you. You tried to satisfy this customer but some people will just be ugly regardless of how much you try to help them.

You offered a wonderful alternative to his castle cake and your point was well made regarding the price and he still wasn't satisfied. Some people will always be complainers, name-callers, and will try to make you feel like dirt, but those are the people who have issues themselves. If they have to stoop to that kind of horrible behavior, they have bigger problems than paying for a cake and aren't worth your time and effort.

Be glad he didn't end up taking the cake because he sounds like the type who will complain about it afterwards in order to get his money back.

PS - I'm betting he didn't get ANY cake for his wife!