We lost my BIL sunady morning he had been ill for a long time and his funeral was today, He had a wife and 21 yo daughter his mother and my husband. The two brothers had a falling out and had always had a difficult relationship since i have known them.
What has p!$$*d me so much is that during the funeral the pastor aknowledged wife,daughter,mother and of all things daughters BF not one d@*n word to hubby acted as if he didnt even exist. It was all I could do to not jump up and let them have it. The two brothers fought always but there were good times too but these ignorant jerks want everybody to dwell on the bad times. Never mind the fact that DH offered him part of his liver to help him to get better, never mind all the times he called DH to come over and sit with him or just spend time with him because his wife and daughter had to go shopping all the time.
I was so upset for hubby and his mother she was mourning one son and a witness to another son being ignored. I would like to talk with the pastor privatly and ask him just why he left my hubby out and if he realizes that there was one more person who was mourning today I dont know what to do I dont want to upsset MIL or DH but this was TOTALY uncalled for
I'm really sorry for your family's loss. I hope your husband will remember only the good times with his brother. He sounds like he's a good and generous man.
You don't need to talk to the pastor. He probably did what he was told by those who planned the funeral with him. Your husband needs to clear the air with those people who somehow think it was okay to ignore one of the longest and most precious relationships we ever have with anyone - our brothers and sisters. Maybe he'll feel ready to do that in a couple of weeks when things settle down a bit. I'm sure he's feeling really hurt, too, and he won't be able to be rational if he tries to deal with it now.
Maybe if you talk to the pastor, he can help your husband and the family have that conversation. Good luck to you both.