This Is The Funniest Thing I've Ever Seen

Business By costumeczar Updated 15 Feb 2010 , 4:39am by Eatsleepbake

costumeczar Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:08pm
post #1 of 56

This link was twittered to me, it came from Craigslist (what a surprise). I took out all of the identifying names/locations because it doesn't matter where it came from. It's just a good example of the mentality of a lot of people who think they can do something professionally with little experience. At least this person is enthusiastic about it...

Hi there! My name is XXXX and I've just got a brand new camera for Christmas but haven't even taken it out of the box. I really want to get into the wedding photography business because I see so many people in XXXX are getting married and it looks like easy money. I can't guarantee that even one photo will turn out looking good but I sure will try. Some pictures will be used for my portfolio and my future website. I start booking appointments this week! I am now booking for Spring and Summer of 2010. I specialize in all types of Lifestyle photography including:

Weddings You'll have to pay $15 for gas money outside of XXXXX
Bridals
Engagements
Families
Children
Portraiture
Fashion

My style is classy, elegant and artistic. I would be honored to be part of your special occasion or photography needs considering I have no professional experience. I would love to capture those beautiful moments for you and your family.

I have so much passion for being a pro wedding photographer! All my friends and family tell me I take great pictures at all our outings and picnics. I'm putting together a web site of all the flower pictures and sunsets I've taken so you can see how good I am. I even have a few pics of my pet dog which turned out really great!

But I don't have a business license, liability insurance, flashes, extra batteries, or even more than a kit lens that came in the box. If something goes wrong, you're out of luck. To keep things cheap for you, I won't even back up any of your images. Less cost for me means less cost for you. Just passing the savings on. I expect to be paid in cash or personal check because I don't plan on claiming this income on my taxes.

I know many fun and beautiful locations. I really care about making brides look beautiful! I add glow and selective color to all of my images, giving them the best look possible. No need to hassle with computer programs.

Bridals and Engagements are only $100. Please trust me to do your wedding. I'll do it cheap just to build up my portfolio. I will only charge you $250 for your entire wedding day. This is a deal. My camera cost me $700 brand new. All sessions include a Hi Resolution CD with FULL copy right release included, which means you get to print your pictures at Wal-Mart! Here's the BEST Part! I offer 100% guarantee on ALL my sessions! Don't pay a cent until you are 100% happy with your pictures!

I own a camera therefore I can take photos like the pros, who charge alot more. Most brides in XXXX spend $2,500 on professional wedding photography. Since I have no experience I'll only be charging $250 (90% off regular wedding photography prices) to shoot full day wedding coverage.

Think about it: Pros charge alot of money because they have alot of expenses. I don't.

Pros have:
-a business license
- multiple cameras
-thousands of dollars in lenses and flashes
-hard drives to back up the images
-insurance
-experience
-people skills
-color calibrated monitors
-professional print labs
-professional albums

I have none of this stuff so we'll keep it cheap, just for you!

E-mail me if you want to set an appointment or if you have any questions, I will gladly respond.

55 replies
costumeczar Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:10pm
post #2 of 56

I hope this is a joke, by the way. The list of things it says the pros have that they don't includes "people skills" so I assume this person is really unfriendly? icon_confused.gif

metria Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:15pm
post #3 of 56

how can you specialize in things w/o any experience??

slcoutu Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:18pm
post #4 of 56

HAHAHA....that was pretty funny!! Thanks for posting it, I needed a good laugh today! And I too sure hope that was a joke, especially since they can't guarantee even one good shot....too funny.

Mike1394 Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:25pm
post #5 of 56

Send her to Bill, and Kimberly. That way she will starting her new photography life happily

Mike

milkmaid42 Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:25pm
post #6 of 56

I am sure this cannot be legitimate! It must be a joke. I mean, great pains were taken to enumerate every little ridiculous thing. I can just see a group of people behind the scene laughing as they thought up one more point...
The joke is: what if someone really responded?!

VannaD Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:25pm
post #7 of 56

The "people skills" thing made me giggle, I sure hope she's kidding...

solascakes Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:25pm
post #8 of 56

This is the part where you say no thank you.

_Jamie_ Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:29pm
post #9 of 56

O.M.G. And no solas, this is the part where you contact them and fish even more ridiculous ramblings...seriously...holy crap. That is the most amazing piece of crap I've ever seen from Craigslist!

_Jamie_ Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:30pm
post #10 of 56

Oh....ha! I think a pissed off professional probably posted this. Wayyyyyyy too funny!

_Jamie_ Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:31pm
post #11 of 56

Oh costume...give us the full details so we can congratulate this person on the Craigslist post of the YEAR!! That was great, and should be shown to all the people thinking about going with a cheapie with no skills, no experience, and no equipment....and thinking it's alll the same!

jenncowin Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:32pm
post #12 of 56

OMG!!! Think we would get cake orders if we advertised like that? I needed that laugh today.

karateka Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:35pm
post #13 of 56

I think someone should forward this to the IRS. icon_twisted.gif

Eisskween Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:36pm
post #14 of 56

Reminds me of the time PBS had an auction to raise money for public television. My daughter was getting married, so I figured "what the heck?" I would bid on a package from it and get a photographer and support PBS at the same time. I paid $475.00 for an engagement photo and wedding photos.

We went for an engagement session and it seemed odd. The man was taking my daughter and future son-in-laws pics in his garden in the backyard. The garden was beautiful, but the pics were set about six feet from garbage and it was mid-July. Nuff said.

We received the engagement photos to put in the local paper, he brought them to her home so we could see which we wanted. It was raining that day and I am grateful it was. The pictures, which appeared to be REAL PHOTOS, were made with an inkjet printer. I attempted to blot a spot and the picture smeared.

I went ballistic. He obviously was not a REAL photographer and donated this package to PBS to "increase his portfolio." He admitted as much. Needless to say I called PBS and complained. They were very forthcoming in returning my money, after I had threatened legal action for fraud.

I support PBS, but when I pay for prime rib, don't hand me a hamburger and tell me it's the same thing. Lesson learned, I wound up paying almost double to secure a REAL photographer on short notice.

Caveat Emptor

metria Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:42pm
post #15 of 56

send it to http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/ ... very funny site

moxey2000 Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:44pm
post #16 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by _Jamie_

Oh....ha! I think a pissed off professional probably posted this. Wayyyyyyy too funny!




I'm willing to bet you hit the nail on the head with that statement icon_lol.gif .

costumeczar Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:51pm
post #17 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by karateka

I think someone should forward this to the IRS. icon_twisted.gif




I had the same thought!

This came from a real Craigslist listing ( I followed the link back and it was on the listings), but I have a feeling that it was put there by a pro photographer to make a point. I know that the photogs around here have a really hard time with someone who gets a camera and thinks they can be a wedding photographer. They undercut them so much they lose business to them, but Eisskween's right, caveat emptor.

Okay, let's start one of our own.

Hi there! I got a brand new cake pan and a spatula for Christmas, and I've only burned two out of three cakes so far. I would like to do your wedding cake for you! I know that I've watched a few tv shows where they were making cakes, and it looks like it's really easy. All it takes is one hour to do a big cake, and I bet they get a lot of money for it. I want to get some of that money, so even though I've never made one before, you should call me to book your wedding cake.

I specialize in all kinds of cakes like:

Wedding
Birthday
Bar Mitzvah
Anniversary
Kindergarten graduation
Slumber Party
bachelor party
cupcakes
bundt cakes
crab cakes
urinal cakes
and christenings!


Okay, I could go on but I'll give someone else a chance to add to our advertisement icon_wink.gif

_Jamie_ Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:53pm
post #18 of 56

Dang! A new website to check everyday! You suck at Craigslist....what a hoot!!

newmansmom2004 Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 6:55pm
post #19 of 56

I like the part where she says something like "I add glow and selective color..." WHAT??? Does that mean if this person decides this should be an alien wedding she colors everyone green???

How bizarre!

saycheese Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 7:17pm
post #20 of 56

OMG! That is pretty funny. I love the "I have no experience so you'll get your pictures cheap" line. Nice.
I'd be willing to bet this person gets calls, though. I am a photographer...I DON'T do weddings. People want you to do their whole wedding for what it would cost their second cousin to do it for with disposable cameras.

Being a good photographer doesn't require ALL that "expensive stuff" but you don't get very far without a little experience and those darn people skills. icon_rolleyes.gif
icon_lol.gif

cheeseball Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 7:22pm
post #21 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Hi there! I got a brand new cake pan and a spatula for Christmas,a dn I've only burned two out of three cakes so far. I would like to do your wedding cake for you!

I specialize in all kinds of cakes like:

Wedding
Birthday
Bar Mitzvah
Anniversary
Kindergarten graduation
Slumber Party
bachelor party
cupcakes
bundt cakes
crab cakes
urinal cakes
and christenings![/i]


Dude, you're nuts icon_lol.gif

HarleyDee Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 7:26pm
post #22 of 56

Oh man.. I think I peed in my pants a little icon_biggrin.gif

_Jamie_ Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 7:27pm
post #23 of 56

I sent a congratulatory email to the person that posted that, I couldn't help it, that was the funniest shite ever!

_Jamie_ Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 7:40pm
post #24 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by _Jamie_

I sent a congratulatory email to the person that posted that, I couldn't help it, that was the funniest shite ever!




Yep-pissed off pro. icon_wink.gif Flipping hilarious.

alvarezmom Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 7:42pm
post #25 of 56

Damn those people skills icon_rolleyes.gif

The posting was pretty funny.

flourgirlz Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 7:46pm
post #26 of 56

I'm laughing so hard I'm glad I'm the only one in the office!!

countrycaker Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 8:18pm
post #27 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Quote:
Originally Posted by karateka

I think someone should forward this to the IRS. icon_twisted.gif



I had the same thought!

This came from a real Craigslist listing ( I followed the link back and it was on the listings), but I have a feeling that it was put there by a pro photographer to make a point. I know that the photogs around here have a really hard time with someone who gets a camera and thinks they can be a wedding photographer. They undercut them so much they lose business to them, but Eisskween's right, caveat emptor.

Okay, let's start one of our own.

Hi there! I got a brand new cake pan and a spatula for Christmas, and I've only burned two out of three cakes so far. I would like to do your wedding cake for you! I know that I've watched a few tv shows where they were making cakes, and it looks like it's really easy. All it takes is one hour to do a big cake, and I bet they get a lot of money for it. I want to get some of that money, so even though I've never made one before, you should call me to book your wedding cake.

I specialize in all kinds of cakes like:

Wedding
Birthday
Bar Mitzvah
Anniversary
Kindergarten graduation
Slumber Party
bachelor party
cupcakes
bundt cakes
crab cakes
urinal cakes
and christenings!




I have noticed that a lot of people in this area like to eat cake. I myself can eat an entire cake in one sitting. I really like cake. When I have made cake for my kids' birthdays, people say they taste really good. I don't even use expensive ingredients - just store brand stuff - so I can pass the savings on to you. Less cost for me means less cost for you.

I offer a 100% guarantee on all my cakes. They might not turn out and you're out of luck if something goes wrong. I expect full payment before I will make the cake, by the way.

Think about it: Pros charge a lot of money because they have a lot of expenses. I don't.

Pros have:
-special cake pans
-clean kitchens
-special frosting spatulas and decorating equipment
-skills and experience
-patience
-cake boards, plates, pillars, etc.
-clean hands

I have none of this stuff so we'll keep it cheap, just for you!

_Jamie_ Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 8:19pm
post #28 of 56

Bwahahahaha country!

KawaiiCakeCook Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 8:31pm
post #29 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Quote:
Originally Posted by karateka

I think someone should forward this to the IRS. icon_twisted.gif



I had the same thought!

This came from a real Craigslist listing ( I followed the link back and it was on the listings), but I have a feeling that it was put there by a pro photographer to make a point. I know that the photogs around here have a really hard time with someone who gets a camera and thinks they can be a wedding photographer. They undercut them so much they lose business to them, but Eisskween's right, caveat emptor.

Okay, let's start one of our own.

Hi there! I got a brand new cake pan and a spatula for Christmas,a dn I've only burned two out of three cakes so far. I would like to do your wedding cake for you! I know that I've watched a few tv shows where they were making cakes, and it looks like it's really easy. All it takes is one hour to do a big cake, and I bet they get a lot of money for it. I want to get some of that money, so even though I've never made one before, you should call me to book your wedding cake.

I specialize in all kinds of cakes like:

Wedding
Birthday
Bar Mitzvah
Anniversary
Kindergarten graduation
Slumber Party
bachelor party
cupcakes
bundt cakes
crab cakes
urinal cakes
and christenings!


Okay, I could go on but I'll give someone else a chance to add to our advertisement icon_wink.gif




Don't forget to mention that you just got a kitchen aid and it cost you $300 , so that means your cakes will taste better right?

just_for_fun Posted 7 Jan 2010 , 9:02pm
post #30 of 56

But you didn't open the box of the kitchen aid yet, but it's a good machine, so the cakes will be good, right?

You will also I add selective colors to the wedding cake to enhance the non-smoothness (is that a word?) of the buttercream. Wiltons buttercream.

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