Ugh....venting!!!!!

Lounge By cakefairy2348 Updated 6 Jan 2010 , 6:06am by Ruth0209

cakefairy2348 Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 12:26am
post #1 of 27

So, my friend is having a great party on saturday and I thought what a better way to get my cakes seen by lots of people than to offer to bring one to her party, free (which would have cost a bunch to make)....researched MFF, bought products and ingrediants today and made the sketch....

so she texted me today and said that she did not want me to bring a cake because it would be the center of attention and that is not what she wants, she wants to be the center of attention.....just bring a appy instead!!!!! Raw!!!!!

Sorry for venting!!!!!!!!

26 replies
metria Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 12:39am
post #2 of 27

interesting friend...perhaps stick her photo on the cake? icon_lol.gif

crisseyann Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 12:39am
post #3 of 27

I hope she's not a GOOD friend....sounds a bit self-centered to me, regardless of it being her birthday. I feel for ya on this one. icon_sad.gif

LisaMaeCakes Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 12:54am
post #4 of 27

Wow, what a prima donna

CakeMommyTX Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 12:54am
post #5 of 27

Whats an "appy", for some reason all I can think of is Application...lol

Honestly that's the way a lot of people feel about their b-day but the fact that she actually voiced it instead of kept it to herself is kind of rude.

I for one do not celebrate my birthday because I don't like the fuss and I'm not 5 yrs old but some people live for parties that revolve around them, she sounds like one of those.

Find a hideous pic of her from when she was 13 and going through the "awkward" phase blow it up as big as you can and slap it on a sheet cake, that way you can still bring a cake and she would still be the center of attention. icon_lol.gif

Mrs-A Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:01am
post #6 of 27

how self indulgent to think that she cant share a moment of the day to someone else... wonder what sort of bride she was/will be one day

personally i would be thrilled to tell people i had such a talented friend that cared enough about me to want to spend her time, talent and money on creating such a wonderful gift

adonisthegreek1 Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:01am
post #7 of 27

I, too, was wondering what's an "appy." I don't understand why you're upset. It's her party and she can do whatever she likes. I personally would love a beautiful cake, but it's her day to shine. If she thinks you and the cake would detract from her then let it be.

costumeczar Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:03am
post #8 of 27

Sorry, but this seems to happen a lot and I'm on the side of the friend. Not that she was polite about it, but at least she was up front with her rudeness.

A lot of people on here seem to want to take cakes without being asked, then get offended if people don't want them to. Just because we want to show up with a cake doesn't mean that we should. There's a lot of "look at me" that goes along with bringing a decorated cake to a party, and I've seen too many people on here complaining that the party hosts didn't want them to show off, basically.

Seems to be rudeness on both sides of this issue, not just in this situation but whenever this comes up.

On the other hand, you could always bring the most beautiful, fancy fruit platter she's ever seen, then she'd have nothing to complain about since she told you to bring something raw.

JanH Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:14am
post #9 of 27

..moving to the Lounge. icon_smile.gif

dorie67 Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:16am
post #10 of 27

Appetizers=Appy princess.gif

pearlydi Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:17am
post #11 of 27

I think she's rude, she should thank you for giving up your precious time to make her a cake which she and her friends will enjoy. Also maybe she just envy and she doesn't want you to shine.

Deb_ Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:22am
post #12 of 27

As much as we may not want to admit it....It's NOT ALWAYS about the cake!

Let's face it we all DO want the cake to be the center of attention.....it just sounds like you have a smart friend that figured that out. icon_razz.gif

I think she's letting you off easy, bring a veggie tray and be done with her.

newbaker55 Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:22am
post #13 of 27

Actually, she paid you quite a compliment by acknowledging that YOUR CAKE would be the center of attention. Must say something special about your talent for beautiful, attention-getting work icon_biggrin.gif

tarheelgirl Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:25am
post #14 of 27

I never assume that I am the one bringing the cake. Shoot.. sometimes I HOPE that they don't ask me to bring the cake! icon_biggrin.gif Less stress for me and I can go enjoy the party. As for your friend.. that was really rude for her to be so forward about it but guess she did get her point across.

Texas_Rose Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:26am
post #15 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

As much as we may not want to admit it....It's NOT ALWAYS about the cake!

Let's face it we all DO want the cake to be the center of attention.....it just sounds like you have a smart friend that figured that out. icon_razz.gif

I think she's letting you off easy, bring a veggie tray and be done with her.




I agree totally!

And now you have ingredients for a random cake, some design you've been wanting to try, or to put away until another cake occasion comes up.

I have been to parties where I brought the cake (as requested by the person having the party) and I usually end up leaving early because I don't want the attention. But then again, I don't sell cakes, so I might have a different view of it than most people.

verisimilitude Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 1:39am
post #16 of 27

I think this is pretty funny. You're offended, but essentially she's right. Your thought wasn't "oh, it's my friend's birthday and I'd love to make her a gorgeous birthday cake!" it was "mass gathering of people! What a chance to get some exposure!"

I don't think your friend was rude, she was just upfront with you. It is her party, and she can do what she likes. If you're really that keen to make her a cake just because she's a friend, make it for her and give it to her at home when nobody else is around icon_wink.gif

(Oh, and I don't think you're a bad person - I'm not trying to have a go at you. I just think the situation is rather amusing if you look at it from an unbiased perspective icon_wink.gif)

AverageMom Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 4:11am
post #17 of 27

So, you thought it would be okay to use your friend's birthday as a chance to show off your cakes. But it's not okay for your friend to say "no thank you"? I admire your friend for being honest. It's her birthday, her party, and it's all about her for that day. Go as a guest with a nice veggie plate.

prterrell Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 4:14am
post #18 of 27

Actually, friend is very rude. If she is hosting a party, she should not require guests to bring food. That is the same as charging them an entry fee.

Sabre3of4 Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 4:55am
post #19 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakefairy2348

So, my friend is having a great party on saturday and I thought what a better way to get my cakes seen by lots of people than to offer to bring one to her party, free (which would have cost a bunch to make)....researched MFF, bought products and ingrediants today and made the sketch....

so she texted me today and said that she did not want me to bring a cake because it would be the center of attention and that is not what she wants, she wants to be the center of attention.....just bring a appy instead!!!!! Raw!!!!!

Sorry for venting!!!!!!!!




A bit rude perhaps...... icon_surprised.gif
Personally, I love having cool cakes that are the center of my party instead of me but I'm a bit introverted. As long as eveyone has a good time and I get the required loot from hubby, I'm happy icon_wink.gif

Adevag Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 5:17am
post #20 of 27

So she must have said yes to your cake at first? I can understand that you feel disappointed because you had already begun your planning and even purchasing for this cake. If I was that far into a cake and it got canceled I would be annoyed as well because when we get our ideas in our heads (or visions) we want to follow through and see the final product. So a little selfish of your friend to cancel so soon (but maybe she does not know the amount of time that goes into a cake either).
I would see this as a compliment towards your decorating skills since your friend already knows your cake would "steal" all the attention. Hopefully you can find good use to your newly purchased products! thumbs_up.gif

7yyrt Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 6:49am
post #21 of 27

Not rude at all. Her party, her food.
You felt free to offer to bring a cake, she felt free to decline. No harm, no foul.
-
The OP didn't state the friend accepted and then changed her mind, just that she had bought the ingredients.

JanH Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 8:27am
post #22 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakefairy2348

So, my friend is having a great party on saturday and I thought what a better way to get my cakes seen by lots of people than to offer to bring one to her party, free (which would have cost a bunch to make)....researched MFF, bought products and ingrediants today and made the sketch....




Oh cakefairy2348, I'm so sorry that you didn't get the reaction you expected.
Poor Baby, you must be so disappointed. (Hugs.)

But your friend might not have wanted to be middled by your bringing your cake business (along with the cake) to her party.

She is your friend, not your business associate so there's no benefit for her to have you come bearing gifts with an agenda (chatting up her guests as potential clients) at her social get together.

Since you already have the cake ingredients, why not invite your friends to an informal cake tasting party at your place. (Can have cake balls, too - they seem to be really popular.)

Then you can freely talk up your cake business as much as you want and even solicit orders, if that's your goal.

HTH

7yyrt Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 4:10pm
post #23 of 27

The only time we have a fancy cake is at a life celebration like a birthday or wedding, etc. Perhaps her friend is the same. Loads of cake, but more family-style.
-
Where are people seeing 'birthday'? I've read the OP (and the whole thread) several times looking for it, and I don't see it stated by her.
-
I see 'bring an appy instead' as her friend's way of saying 'I can tell you want to bring something, and an appetizer won't throw off my menu plans.'

-Tubbs Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 4:27pm
post #24 of 27

Talking of people wanting to be the centre of attention at their party...

One of my friends was invited to a "Black and White" party - everyone was to wear black and white, B&W decorations etc. All very classy and elegant. Nearly everyone is there, and in the guest of honour swans, in her SCARLET dress and matching shoes and lipstick!!

ETA: I actually think this is kinda cool.

7yyrt Posted 5 Jan 2010 , 6:42pm
post #25 of 27

She must have read about it.

At the Mayfair Ball that year (1936), hostess Carole Lombard requested that her female guests wear formal gowns of snowy white (men in black tuxes).
Making a last entrance was Norma Shearer 'wearing a spectacular scarlet gown.'

cakefairy2348 Posted 6 Jan 2010 , 2:34am
post #26 of 27

Ok, thank yo to whomever that answered the "appy" question....appetizer is too many letters!!! The party is not for her birthday, just because and she originally asked me to bring cake...oh, well.....I am just bringing plain cupcakes because I bake way better than I cook!!

Ruth0209 Posted 6 Jan 2010 , 6:06am
post #27 of 27

I think it's entirely appropriate for the hostess to want to control the look and feel of her party. If she feels that your cake would turn into a big conversation all night about you and the cake and how amazing it is, and how you made this part and that part, and OMG I can't believe it's cake, thank you, thank you, and here is my business card...I wouldn't blame her for choosing a different center for the evenings' conversation.

I don't think she was rude at all. I've hosted parties where I had the menu set and I didn't want people bringing random dishes that didn't really go with it. When people asked if they could bring things, I just told them "no thank you." Just because a person is honest and straightforward with you doesn't mean they're rude. Maybe she told the OP what she did because she's seen it at other parties where the OP brought a cake.

OP, I am sorry she hurt your feelings. People don't always realize how harsh things sound sometimes when they say them. Save your beautiful creation for an event where people DO want to ooh and ahh over them. Then soak it in!

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