Ok, where should I start. My husband and I have been separated from May 2009. I am in another town with the 3 kids pursuing my degree, which I will be graduating in May 2010 with an Bachelor degree in accounts. We are going to court this month for joint custody of the kids. However, all responsiblity or decisions about the kids will be made by me. Prior, I told him I am planning to start the divorce proceedings but I wanted to get the custody arrangement out the way first.
After a brief history, so December 28, 2009 a friend of mines called me about and email I supposely send to her. I had no clue because I did not send the email. She read the email to me and low and behold my husband was in my email account and send her an email urging her to talk me out of getting divorce and questioning my judgement of our marrigage situation. Well, she knew me pretty well and we concluded husband sent this email from my email account.
December 30, 2008 Husband send me an email. I am quoting from the original email he sent me. "I have made so many mistakes in our relationship. I was reading your emails for a long time.
yesterday & the day before I pretented to be U by sending emails to Friends saying the U were going to divorce me but that U
wanted them to talk U out of it. I will not read you emails anymore U can change your password to make sure. I will seek counselng. I did admit that I was with some one but I didnt admit how much, I was with someone in Nov 2008 & July 2009 & Sept 2009 this last person I admit to U. I was with 3 woman, so that my actions caused the problems. I dont have any feeling for any of them & I dont have any contact with them. I hope that one day you can forgive me. God is dealing with me so I will accept whateve he does. I really Love U I have to change me, I really dont want a divorce but right now I know its whats going to happen. I'm sorry for all the pain I'v caused U."
Ok, I know for sure the marriage is over, but please tell me how you would be react to him slepping with 3 woman. Since he send the email, my feelings was "whatever". But now that I have some quite time, this is really bothering me.
CCer's I just wanted to share my story. Please no symapthy I need to stay strong for my kids. Ok I have vented. I got it of my chest.
Yes, this is a true story I am living it.
I think this is confirmation that you're making the right decision. If you were ever in two minds, he's just confirmed to you that he's dishonest and unfaithful.
It's still going to hurt your ego, but try to remember that that's all it is. Nobody likes to hear that someone they trusted at some point betrayed them, especially in a situation so important as a marriage.
I really think you should look at this as a good thing though. He's now admitted that he is a person who deserves divorcing, which you obviously already knew, it's just that now you have even more solid proof. Move on from him and be happy.
save that email as evidence to use the in divorce proceedings.
it could sway judge in terms of terms of custody and divorce.
As Doug said, save the email, you really won't know what he will say or how he will act when you get to court.
Also if you haven't done so, you should get yourself tested for stds...those three extra curricular women pose a threat to your health-sorry to be so blunt , but in this case, "better safe than sorry" is really true!
Best wishes as you go forward with your new life.
Okay, no sympathy. F@*k him. It seems like your gut instincts were right and you are making the right decision. Be proud of the fact you have made a life decision that is best for you and are sticking with it. A lot of women freak at the thought of starting over with kids. You go girl!
Yes I agree, I do plan to give my lawyer the emails.
KJT, no it's not blunt I plan to get tested for every STD.
Thanks guys, I know for sure I am not going crazy. Well the bright side, I will be obtaining my Accounts degree in May and hopefully get a decent job to take of the kids.
Congratulations on completing your degree. It sounds like you'll do a hell of a lot better without him.....I'm certain your on the right track!
Good for you