Friend Getting Very Picky About Ingred For Her Wedding Cake-
Decorating By denetteb Updated 13 Dec 2009 , 8:06am by madgeowens
forgive me, but your friend sounds like a nut! and high maintenance to boot! the worst customers, we can all agree... I understand gluten/dairy free concerns.. and i in fact specialize in all organic cakes... but no on is gonna go to the hospital because they ate a cake that had dairy in it.. sheesh....
I don't see a problem with her requests, but i'm used to baking cakes that way.. if it bothers you that much, give her the boot! sounds like you might end up resenting this cake anyway if you go ahead with it... Maybe tell her thanks, but no thanks.
No, no. Anyone who is allergic to wheat may have celiac disease and dairy allergies can also have serious side effects and send someone straight to the emergency room. I really hope you are just venting off some steam and I surely hope you do not take that type of dangerous and cavalier attitude with the lives of the people you make cake for. Really it takes only ingesting 1/8 tsp of the ingredients for someone to get sick. Emergency room and Doctor visits are quite costly and the side effects are really quite painful. Please take care with allergy issues!
forgive me, but your friend sounds like a nut! and high maintenance to boot! the worst customers, we can all agree... I understand gluten/dairy free concerns.. and i in fact specialize in all organic cakes... but no on is gonna go to the hospital because they ate a cake that had dairy in it.. sheesh....
I don't see a problem with her requests, but i'm used to baking cakes that way.. if it bothers you that much, give her the boot! sounds like you might end up resenting this cake anyway if you go ahead with it... Maybe tell her thanks, but no thanks.
Yes, some of the reactions will indeed send someone to the hospital...
Dairy allergies may appear with a wide variety of symptoms, including hives (urticaria), eczema, chronic congestion, and diarrhea. Lactose intolerance, like many other dietary intolerances, causes gastrointestinal symptoms, such as bloating, cramping, and diarrhea.
http://foodallergies.about.com/od/dairy/p/dairyallergies.htm
Wheat allergy symptoms include:
* Swelling, itching or irritation of the mouth or throat
* Hives, itchy rash or swelling of the skin
* Nasal congestion
* Itchy, watery eyes
* Difficulty breathing
* Cramps, nausea or vomiting
* Diarrhea
* Anaphylaxis
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/wheat-allergy/DS01002/DSECTION=symptoms
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Not to mention, you would know what she is going to do if you had bothered to read the entire thread before you posted and trashed her friend.
I "use " to have a friend like that years ago. If she is allergic to whatever....then she should not eat that, but does that mean everyone else should have to eat her gruel? I agree, cut your losses before you want to cut her............ahem, excuse me I mean....like someone said...RUN...hit the ground runniing.oh yeah! 
HTH
I "use " to have a friend like that years ago. If she is allergic to whatever....then she should not eat that, but does that mean everyone else should have to eat her gruel? I agree, cut your losses before you want to cut her............ahem, excuse me I mean....like someone said...RUN...hit the ground runniing.oh yeah!
HTH
madge - just because one person is allergic to something doesn't mean that everyone should be penalized. However, in certain situations it makes sense to have the food item be allergy friendly. For instance, my sisters and I are all highly allergic to tree nuts. When we go home, our mother makes sure to not make cookies with nuts, and will disinfect the cookie jar first. At work, my coworkers know not to bring a baked good with nuts, so that I can have some (although my hips and thighs would be ok with being able to say no). True, some gluten free cakes aren't very pleasent to a palate not accustomed to them, but a fair substitute can be made for everyone that would be acceptable to all.
If this is wierd or a run on, I'm on my 2nd glass of chardonnay. 
Actually, I have a friend whose son would go into anaphalactic shock and probably have to go to the hospital if he had dairy. They even have to check labels to see if there is any other form of calcium (like calcium carbonate) in any pre-made they are considering buying keep an epipen with them at all times, just in case something slips by. I worked in our church's nursery for awhile while he was that age, so she talked to me extensively about it. She also told us of a child she knew of who died because they ate something at a party at school that the teacher believed was dairy free, but in fact wasn't, and while the nurse did have an epipen at hand, it wasn't the little girl's, so they wouldn't/couldn't use it.
Hey I am the first to check on allergies. Maybe I read her post wrong...I thought she was making a small one for her allergy free and then she kept asking for more and more....just being difficult. I don't think anyone would want to intentionally give someone something they are allergic to. Little mis-communication I guess
... but no on is gonna go to the hospital because they ate a cake that had dairy in it.. sheesh....
Unless you are anaphylactic to dairy, like my 10 year old is. We are extremely careful with his diet, yet exposures can and do happen.
You can be anaphylactic to anything, and people often do die of these type of reactions.
Thats right Christen99, I think maybe she spoke too soon on that part....we forgive....I have so many allergies its crazy....so believe me I know about allergies....I think the main focus on the op was to vent about her friend driving her crazy with changes. We covered it all I think. Good job.
The allergies certainly should be taken seriously and maybe the bride just doesn't want to go into detail why she's asking for some of the specifics, but any allergy can be severe. I think if you're not comfortable with some of the requests she's making, be honest and tell her about it. I would much rather have someone tell me they can't provide the product I'm looking for and refer me to someone who can, than to find out later that maybe corners were cut and I didn't get what I asked for and thought I paid for.
Also it sounds like the client is into all natural ingredients, as she called some poison. I think I would be afraid to do this cake, but thats just my opinion. For the sake of your friendship it might be better if she went elsewhere too. Good Luck with what ever you decide. I know it can't be easy for you. Hope your venting helps.
Sorry OP, BUT gltuen free, dairy free. Heck with it. Get some rice crackers, put some all natural PB in between, and top it off with some non-dairy topping.
I'm glad I make artery clogging, stroke causing pastries. I go to bed, and sleep well, knowing I helped clog some arteries every day 
Mike
I understand you and I understand her too.
Though I'm not vegan, I worry about certain ingredients (I am a nurse).
And I am afraid I agree with her choice on using butter and not using creamer.
Though we don't have shortening nor creamers in Portugal, I am glad for it.
Simply having a cholesterol high level in your blood are a reason for not taking this kind f things. They are way worse than butter and eggs (used in reasonable proportions, of course).
I understand you very well too, she is picking on things you find too banal and normal, and that hurts. It's like someone would tell me that I can't dress well.
But on the other side, even if she's not right, it is her wedding and she feels she has the right to choose what she finds perfect for her day.
It's a pity if something like that would spoil a friendship...
It's just my point of view...
About the allergies mentioned above, they really can kill. Only the other day a 11 year girl died because she ate french fries. They were the pre-frozen kind and the labels did not mentioned there could be traces of milk on then. Her father is a medical doctor and nothing could be done
Just to clarify since the thread is a little off topic....The wheat/dairy free cake problem was taken care of by using an approved wheat/dairy free cake mix since I did take her allergy concerns for her guests seriously. The problem was she kept adding rules and ingredient requests to the regular cakes that I was unfamiliar with and didn't know about till after I had made 3 chocolate cakes for her to taste. I solved the situation by letting her know that I was not really set up nor prepared to start substituting out lots of ingredients so said she would be best served by having the co-op or another health food bakery make the cakes. So she will be having someone else do the cakes and since I now have free cake time I am looking at some really cute Christmas cuppies from the CC gallery to make for a group I am volunteering for. On to other happier baking. With full fat, chemicals, and calories.
I finally took time to read thru most of the posts and see this issue has been solved by the OP. I just wanted to point out a few things - which I typed *before* I read everything.......still feel the points are worth posting.
........DO NOT mix your recipe with what is asked for. The milk and wheat ingredients can trigger allergies and send people to the Hospital.......
.........(those)saying shell never know are WRONGE! ...trick her or do it any way beacuse shell never know, and not say anything. Please understand it can cause real health issues!!!........
.........need to have a conversation to get some clarity about her needs. .........
You all are soooooooo right. We don't have ALL the facts and are running to many conclusions.
.......margarine. It is one molecule away from being plastic. Yuck!.........
OOoohhhhh PLEASE! This statement has been proven totally off base.....And I now see someone else pointed this out.
Just to clarify since the thread is a little off topic....The wheat/dairy free cake problem was taken care of by using an approved wheat/dairy free cake mix since I did take her allergy concerns for her guests seriously. The problem was she kept adding rules and ingredient requests to the regular cakes that I was unfamiliar with and didn't know about till after I had made 3 chocolate cakes for her to taste. I solved the situation by letting her know that I was not really set up nor prepared to start substituting out lots of ingredients so said she would be best served by having the co-op or another health food bakery make the cakes. So she will be having someone else do the cakes and since I now have free cake time I am looking at some really cute Christmas cuppies from the CC gallery to make for a group I am volunteering for. On to other happier baking. With full fat, chemicals, and calories.
Yeah you have it handled! 
Happy baking!!! I just am in shock about those who suggest it isn't a big deal about allergies. That kind of ignorance is deadly. What kind of cuppies are you making?
Since it is a community Christmas light display I am thinking of mini cuppies, one with the stand up swirly Christmas tree and the other with the Santa hat. Both were in the gallery this week. Cute, simple and I think the staff and volunteers would get a big kick out of them. I would love to do a logo cake at the end of the show Jan 2 and try to do a buttercream transfer. But cuppies first.
Since it is a community Christmas light display I am thinking of mini cuppies, one with the stand up swirly Christmas tree and the other with the Santa hat. Both were in the gallery this week. Cute, simple and I think the staff and volunteers would get a big kick out of them. I would love to do a logo cake at the end of the show Jan 2 and try to do a buttercream transfer. But cuppies first.
Glad to hear it all unfolded and worked out for you. Have fun with sinfully delicious cake and cuppy recipes hehehe.....happy for you
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