I just found a long lost relative. I grew up with no aunts, uncles or cousins. My dad was an only child and my mom, for all intensive purposes, was an only child. She had a brother that disowned himself from our family over 35 years ago.
Mom started asked if we thought her brother was still alive. Long story short, I googled my aunt and cousin's names and found my cousin. I wrote to her last night to see if in fact I found the right person. I DID!!!
The only bad thing is that her mom and brother (I didn't even know I had 2 cousins) are deceased and her father (my moom's brother) is a dirt bag living the the ghettos of Philly.
Despite the bad news, I am so excited that I have a cousin! I wrote her back and told her that I would like to have a relationship with her. So now I just have to wait and see if she replies. She lives almost 1000 miles away in Florida.
Thanks for listening.
That's so exciting!
THat's so awesome!!!!!! Congrats!
Now, that's a Christmas gift!
Thanks for sharing.
I'm happy for you!!
This is wonderful news!!! You've just opened a whole new chapter in your life. So happy for you!
Well my excitement is short lived. My cousin responded back to my email and she said that she cannot be in touch because anything that reminds her of her past (her life with her dad) is too much for her. I was very saddened by this, but what can I do. I have to respect her wishes and just wish her well.
Awww...well maybe one day she will be able to get over the situation. Just send her a Christmas card and birthday card every year and hopefully one day she will come around.
I was afraid if I sent her a card she would think I was going against her wishes. What do others think?
Personally, I wouldn't push her. I might send a Christmas card with a note so she has your address.
I know how difficult this is. I found a step child years ago. She had the same reaction. She didn't want anything to do with her father (my husband at the time). I sent one card with our address. About 10 yrs later, she contacted us. It just took time.
Count your blessings that you found her to begin with and pray she will want to be in touch when the time is right for her.
I would do as Shelley suggested, send a Christmas card with your address stating that it is for her to get in touch with you if she wishes. I wouldn't push anything past that, it will show her that you still want a relationship by not forcing anything on her. Once she gets over the shock she may decide to contact you, hopefully it won't be 10 years later.