Almost Everytime I Do A Cake For Free, I End Up Resenting It

Business By springlakecake Updated 22 Nov 2009 , 3:16pm by janebrophy

springlakecake Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 12:05am
post #1 of 51

Just saying.

Reading a lot of posts today about people wanting cakes for free. I, on the other hand often have a hard time charging friends and family for cakes. It just feels WEIRD. Anyway, when my 4 year old is upstairs by himself all day playing on the computer or watching movies while I am in my kitchen slaving away for someone else's kid I start resenting. When I miss out of stuff because I am baking a free cake or shopping for ingredients...I start resenting it. When I have to stay up late or get up early for a free cake...I start resenting it. People just don't know how much work it is.

Just saying.

50 replies
cylstrial Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 12:22am
post #2 of 51

That's a tough situation! Maybe you should tell them how you feel and ask for at least 50% of what you would normally charge . (Or whatever discount you want to offer).

Your cakes are beautiful and I love your website! Good luck!

costumeczar Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 1:50am
post #3 of 51

You need to start getting paid if you can do it legally. Otherwise, cut back on the free cakes that you do, because if you feel mad about doing them that's pretty clear sign that something's wrong!

Kitagrl Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 1:55am
post #4 of 51

I hate charging people I know too! But we just have to charge SOME thing....or yeah...its really bad when you have a bad attitude during a cake...it really loses its charm when that happens. (been there, done that!) I agree...if my kids are going to be on their own while I work in the kitchen...( I have four boys, only two in school so far)....it better be worth it!

LOVE your cakes, Merissa....

LaBellaFlor Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 1:59am
post #5 of 51

I'm with Costumeczarina. Even if you charged for cost or half price, you will be upset. You will be thinking the same thing, but instead it will be like this,"I can't believe I charged them only $75 for this cake" after you realize it's 3 in the morning and you spent $40 for ingredients. You'll feel better giving a discount of 10% off your normal price.

-K8memphis Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 3:41am
post #6 of 51

Burn out--not pleasant at all. Self inflicted crash & burn, painful.

So sorry.

The good news is you can write your own prescription too.
Recovery is just a few dollars away or by saying "No".

Good luck to you.

cake-angel Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 3:52am
post #7 of 51

I am a hobby baker so the only free cakes I give are ones I choose to make - usually as a gift to the recipient. I haven't ever been asked by my friends or family to make a cake. I do have to admit though I have been asked by aquaintances and strangers to make a cake and I always say No and direct them to the nearest bakery -- mostly because I know how many hours I will spend on a cake that will take my attention away from my family and because I am not set up to sell cakes. I tell people I don't want to do cakes for a living because I still want to enjoy making them. The people who I continue to make cakes for are the ones that truly appreciate my efforts and usually boost my ego somewhat with their excitement over their cake ( a bit of a symbiotic relationship there. LOL)

Maybe the best thing to do would be to only do cakes for people that you really want to give to and not to everyone who asks you for one.

indydebi Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 3:53am
post #8 of 51

"I will do your cake for free but only if you spend the day with me and help me do it."

If they are not willing to give up THEIR day for THEIR kid's cake, why should you? If they are not willing to invest their time for their kid's cake, why should you? And make them go shopping (or better yet, give them a list and send them to buy the stuff!) Make them crack the eggs and mix the batter and color the fondant. You know the drill!

At least you'll get the pleasure of watching them learn their lesson! heh heh heh heh!!! icon_twisted.gif

CarrieBear Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 4:08am
post #9 of 51

I started a post like this not too long ago, and reading your post I could have written that myself!

Doing them for free took all the fun out of it!! I began hating doing it, up late after a 12hour work day to slave away on free cakes for people who arent doing me any favors in return made me an angry caker!

I decided I had a brilliant idea, that I would charge people the ingredient price and ask them to make the rest a donation to the free cakes for kids program Im involved in.

when I spent 15+ hours on the butterfly cake and got a 15$ above cost donation.

and the Football jersey cake 10+ hours at a 5$ above cost donation.

that is when I said enough is enough!!! I will donate my time only to the cakes for kids charity! there comes a point when you get so fed up you just put a stop to it.

Cakepro Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 4:18am
post #10 of 51

With all due respect to the other posters, she wasn't asking for help or advice...she was just venting.

I know exactly what you mean, Merissa. I will offer to do a cake, feeling totally charitable, and then when I am in the thick of it with many more hours to do, I start resenting it too. When it's done, it sure is nice to receive that gratitude and know you really made that person's day. It's just during those long hours that I get annoyed at myself for offering to do it or for refusing to allow them to pay me. LOL

indydebi Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 4:24am
post #11 of 51

I know she was just venting .... we're just venting back with her. thumbs_up.gif

Cakepro Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 4:34am
post #12 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

I know she was just venting .... we're just venting back with her. thumbs_up.gif




No, several people were doing what men typically do when a woman expresses frustration about a situation - instead of just commiserating with her and acknowledging her feelings, men usually try to provide instructions or advice on how to fix the problem. It does not appear that she was asking for help on how to charge people...she was just venting.

I didn't call you out, therefore no response was needed.

LaBellaFlor Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 4:38am
post #13 of 51

I'm not a man I don't commiserate. I sympathize, support, and sometimes adivse if I think it may help. But nope, I never commiserate. And this is not a call out either. JMO.

Cakepro Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 4:45am
post #14 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBellaFlor

I'm not a man I don't commiserate. I sympathize, support, and sometimes adivse if I think it may help. But nope, I never commiserate. And this is not a call out either. JMO.




Uhhhh....methinks you should double-check the definition of commiserate.

com⋅mis⋅er⋅ate
verb (used with object)
1.   to feel or express sorrow or sympathy for; empathize with; pity.
verb (used without object)

2.   to sympathize (usually fol. by with): They commiserated with him over the loss of his job.

LaBellaFlor Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 4:46am
post #15 of 51

Yeah, I got the emathize with pity part. I don't do the pity part.

Cakepro Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 4:53am
post #16 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBellaFlor

Yeah, I got the emathize with pity part. I don't do the pity part.




Yeah...note that the semi-colon separates empathize with and pity, therefore, nobody is empathizing WITH pity.

Sympathizing is synonymous with commiserating.

Jeez. Nobody is pitying her.

Methinks the entire point is being missed.

Moving on...

LaBellaFlor Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 5:02am
post #17 of 51

Your right, it has, since you've made the thread about you trying to make your point & jumping on Indy about nothing. Great commiserating! thumbs_up.gif

Moving on...

BlakesCakes Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 6:03am
post #18 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieBear


I decided I had a brilliant idea, that I would charge people the ingredient price and ask them to make the rest a donation to the free cakes for kids program Im involved in.

when I spent 15+ hours on the butterfly cake and got a 15$ above cost donation.

and the Football jersey cake 10+ hours at a 5$ above cost donation.

that is when I said enough is enough!!! I will donate my time only to the cakes for kids charity! there comes a point when you get so fed up you just put a stop to it.




You can't allow people to pick the amount of the donation icon_surprised.gif You have to tell them what the donation amount is going to be and they have to agree to it--that's what I do.

In order to make sure that they make the donation, I give them a money order made out to the charity and they have to give me the cash equivalent. They then keep the receipt for the money order for their taxes and mail it off.

Works like a charm.

Rae

madgeowens Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 6:40am
post #19 of 51

Seriously.......................say what?



oh and every cake on my pages was done for free..................I just enjoy doing it and I guess thats why I joined free cakes for kids..........

if I resented it...........I would stop doing it...........because "that" to me misses the point.

I agree with the move on part.icon_smile.gif

madgeowens Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 6:44am
post #20 of 51

However, it would be nice if the parents of these kids taught them to call you and say thank you or send a little note saying thank you....would be nice.

Lotus80 Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 6:58am
post #21 of 51

Yep, know the feeling. Wife and I do this a lot - and not just a quick "in the oven slap on some icing and pipe a message" stuff either. I'm from another creative background - publishing - and it's often a similar story - and for the same reasons. The public at large see a result, not the work that goes on behind the scenes, and as we all know the most apparently simple concepts can be very time-consuming and stressful to produce. I don't want to sound smart-assed here but a great many people who aren't creative themselves just can't get the fact that creative processes take time and effort.

We just have to learn to say "no" a bit more.

costumeczar Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 11:33am
post #22 of 51

The word "No" is such a good one to learn. And LeBellaFlor, I am cracking up about the "I don't do pity" thing that you wrote! icon_lol.gif

springlakecake Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 12:50pm
post #23 of 51

LOL, I don't care if you agree, disagree, advice, sympathize, or vent yourself. I WAS just kinda venting, but I don't care if you want to advise. I still need it! I was just reading a lot of posts yesterday about doing free cakes. It is so easy for me to read other situations and totally sympathize with the situation. I am always advising people that they shouldnt do stuff for free if they are going to resent it...but yet when I am up against it I end up doing exactly what I shouldnt. Don't get me wrong I DO enjoy making cakes for people as gifts, but for some reason I still have that calculator going in my head about how much it has cost me and how many hours I have spent on it. I think the problem is that I don't think people REALLY know just how much I gave them.

The other week I was very busy with cakes (for me). I still have a 4 year old at home. (I do have a legal business BTW, in my separate kitchen) My kitchen is downstairs and my little guy kind of had to spend the whole week by himself icon_sad.gif . I felt so bad. I also had to turn down 2 paying orders because I was too busy giving away $200 of free cake. I have really started to think about how I want to go about "free" cakes. It means I sometimes give up paying orders and it means I give up time with my son. And just so you know, I totally dont blame my friends or family for my lack of a spine. I am just mad at myself. I have often been offered money for these cakes, but I feel weird about it.

Hope no one has hard feelings over my post. Nothing was intended.

springlakecake Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 12:51pm
post #24 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by madgeowens

However, it would be nice if the parents of these kids taught them to call you and say thank you or send a little note saying thank you....would be nice.




Totally.

-K8memphis Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 1:36pm
post #25 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakepro

Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

I know she was just venting .... we're just venting back with her. thumbs_up.gif



No, several people were doing what men typically do when a woman expresses frustration about a situation - instead of just commiserating with her and acknowledging her feelings, men usually try to provide instructions or advice on how to fix the problem. It does not appear that she was asking for help on how to charge people...she was just venting.

I didn't call you out, therefore no response was needed.




Oh well that was me among others.
Unfortunately pour vous you can't control me.
However the good news here is you don't have to provide her with any potential resolutions and thereby you can do your thing 'cause I'll sure do mine. icon_biggrin.gif

PS> I'm a girl.

CarrieBear Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 3:26pm
post #26 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by madgeowens

Seriously.......................say what?



oh and every cake on my pages was done for free..................I just enjoy doing it and I guess thats why I joined free cakes for kids..........

if I resented it...........I would stop doing it...........because "that" to me misses the point.

I agree with the move on part.icon_smile.gif





I also LOVE doing the cakes for kids program.

the cakes I was reffering to were NOT for cakes for kids program...

CarrieBear Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 3:29pm
post #27 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by madgeowens

However, it would be nice if the parents of these kids taught them to call you and say thank you or send a little note saying thank you....would be nice.




I get thank you notes every time I do a cake for the shelter I work with and I love it.

costumeczar Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 6:07pm
post #28 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by K8memphis-


Unfortunately pour vous you can't control me.





K8, I'm laughing so hard right now you don't even know the half of it! icon_lol.gif

sadsmile Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 6:26pm
post #29 of 51

(((Hug))) People really don't understand the labor involved. When it takes away from your kids it's the worst.

Sometimes you just gotta say, "no."

Hey Bella....

I pitty the fool!!!

Image

j_arney Posted 20 Nov 2009 , 6:56pm
post #30 of 51

I'm right there with you Merissa. I brought in a few cakes for co-workers birthdays while I was still in the Wilton classes. Then I brought in a few more practice cakes. Now it's just expected of me. About a month ago we were doing a lunch for 2 co-workers with the same birthday. My one co-worker sends out a note asking for money to pay for the pizza she was ordering. I asked if she could round up that total a bit and get a few bucks to cover the cake. Mentioning that after bringing SEVERAL cakes to work it's gotten expensive. She said to me, "What do you need...like $4?" FOUR DOLLARS? SERIOUSLY?? I told it would be more like $12 (I used box mix). She offered to just let me not pay for the pizza. Not exactly a fair trade. People just don't get it. There is another birthday next week - and truth be told - I don't care for this girl. I'm trying to pretend I don't know her birthday is coming up so I don't have to do anything. It's so hard to change your "policy" once the free cakes have started.

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%