Just Needed A Place To Vent

Lounge By cabecakes Updated 14 Nov 2009 , 11:40pm by costumeczar

cabecakes Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 1:26am
post #1 of 26

Hello everyone. I am feeling as low as I can possibly get and just need a shoulder to cry on for a bit. My husband and I bought our home about 10 years ago and ever since have had one financial crisis after another. I didn't even get the first house payment made yet when I got laid off from my job and have been laid off 4 times since. I finally found a job and have been with it for 5 years now, but my husband got laid off 2 1/2 years ago and has been unable to find work (mostly because of his age, he's 55), but anyway, we haven't got a cost of living increase for the last two years and our health insurance is so expensive I can't afford...now today they told us that we are all going to have to take a pay decrease because they are doing away with our departments and we're being put into other departments. I will lose well over a dollar an hour, and now on an already stretched budget I'm going to lose my house after fighting like he11 for the last 10 years to keep it. I could just cry. I know that in this tight economy we all have to make concessions, but I can't give anymore and frankly I'm tired of fighting the system. And then I came on CC just to get away from the whole thing and see the post about the little 5 year old boy with cancer and I think "and you think you have problems", now I am crying. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.

25 replies
tatorchip Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 1:35am
post #2 of 26

I will pray for you and hope things turn around for you and your family

Texas_Rose Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 1:39am
post #3 of 26

I am so sorry you're going through this.

What kind of work does your husband do? Could he maybe get a job doing security? That's what my husband does and there's lots of older men who do it. For the unarmed guards, they don't have to do anything except call the police if they see a crime happening, so it's not like he'd have to wrestle bad guys to the ground or anything like that. Here anyhow, the training class for unarmed guards is a few hours long and all of the security companies do it and they pretty much hire anyone, as long as they don't have a criminal history and are available to work nights. It doesn't pay a lot...but it doesn't sound like you need a fortune to get you through, just enough to make up for what you're losing.

Deb_ Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 2:37am
post #4 of 26

Jackie I am so so sorry to hear this.

God Bless you guys and I pray that your luck will change!

cabecakes Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 2:46am
post #5 of 26

Most jobs like that are filled around here. It' just that our unemployment rate around here is at over 12%. We live in a small community, and there aren't a lot of jobs to start with. But several of the larger companies have left (gone overseas), and there aren't really even any minimum wage jobs to be found because so many are out of work. You reach a point where you just have to throw your hands up in the air and "let be and let God". That's where I am at right now. I have gotten this far and house or no house, I'll survive. I just get so sick and tired on the little guy taking the hit. They say there is no money for raises and our insurance will go up 40%. Makes no difference to me, I couldn't afford it at the lower price. My HR guys says I just don't understand...wrong thing to say...I told him..."don't tell me I don't understand, I've been living it for the last two years. Do you know what it's like to not be able to get your spouse's diabetic medications because you can't afford to go to the doctor to get the prescription...don't tell me I don't understand." They have put in a new parking lot to part semi-trailers, they put in a new sidewalk completely around the building, new lighting, a new office, and new equipment, but we have no money for raises or to help defer some of the cost of med insurance. SO FRUSTRATING.

LaBellaFlor Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 2:59am
post #6 of 26

Call your mortgage company. Talk to them. A LOT of them are listening right about now & trying to work with people. My friend has been out of work for over a year with unemployment as her only source if income. She has done a lot of negotiating with mortgage company to utility companies. Doesn't hurt to ask. I pray everything gets better sooner.

cabecakes Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 3:00am
post #7 of 26

My husband used to do survey work for 18 years and worked as a basketmaker for Longaberger Baskets for about 16 years. You would think with having that steady a work history he wouldn't have any trouble getting someone to hire him. All they see is that he is only a few years from retirement and who wants to hire someone they are just going to have to turn around and replace in a few years. They only want to hire these young kids (and I'm not saying all are like this), but many don't want to show up for work or don't work when they do show up for work. I thank you for you kind words and prayer though. I usually feel a lot better when I can get it off my chest. I hate to talk to my husband about it, because he is already so depressed about not being able to find work he just gets more upset. So thanks for making me feel better and thanks for listening. Maybe I'll just try to pump up my cake orders to try to make some extra money. I have been doing it mostly for family and friends as a hobby, but maybe I could go full speed ahead on it or something. I have improved a lot since I started this whole thing in July. It'll all work out, I just gotta keep the faith.

Ruth0209 Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 4:16am
post #8 of 26

Since you're still employed, you should talk to your mortgage holder about refinancing your house under the Making Home Affordable program. This might lower your payment enough that you can keep the house. It's better than foreclosure.

http://makinghomeaffordable.gov/

Also, check into the HCTC program. It might pay a lot of your insurance premium cost.

http://www.irs.gov/individuals/article/0,,id=109915,00.html

For prescription assistance:

http://www.pparx.org/

If you're low income, your husband may qualify for Medicaid. Check with your state's Medicaid program.

http://jfs.ohio.gov/Ohp/

Good luck to you and your family. My husband and I have both been on unemployment for 8 months. Luckily, I got a huge severence payment from my employer that has gotten us through, and on Monday we found out that my husband's disability application for SSI has been approved, which is a minor miracle (didn't even have to hire an attorney - it was approved within 5 months). I understand your sense of desperation about being able to hold it all together. If I hadn't had the extra income from the cakes, it would have been a lot worse for us.

Anyway, I hope some of this information helps you.

Ruth

Callyssa Posted 12 Nov 2009 , 2:05pm
post #9 of 26

Jackie, my heart truly goes out to you. My husband was laid off for over a year and we made the decision to move from MI to TX. It wasn't easy by any means and our two oldest sons had to stay in MI because of their college classes, but in the long run it will be one of the best decisions we've ever made. If we'd stayed in the failing economy of MI our children would have had to move elsewhere to begin their lives, so we chose somewhere that everyone could find good jobs and enjoy a great quality of living.
I hope you can find some peace in all of this, good luck to you.

cabecakes Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 12:36am
post #10 of 26

Ruth, thank you so much for the sites you posted. I will go over these thouroughly and see if we might qualify for help. I just love this site and the people on it so much. You guys help so much, and I don't feel quite so unraveled now. Thanks to you all and God Bless you and you families.

-Tubbs Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 12:50am
post #11 of 26

How awful for you both. I truly hope you will find some resolution and some peace. It's definitely worth talking to your mortgage company - it's not in their interest to repossess houses right now...

(I feel privaleged to only have lived in countries with universal healthcare. Why do so many fear it?)

LaBellaFlor Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 1:09am
post #12 of 26

We are in the ONLY industrial nation without national healthcare. The only ones. I think people fear it so much, cause it's a foreign concept, don't trust the government to excute it properly, the media influences are perception about it, and all those wonderful private insurance lobbist make sure the media and the politicians that they give campaign contributions to make sure we stay scared and make sure any plan will be excuted poorly to justify our fears. I'm off my soap box now. icon_smile.gif

costumeczar Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 1:58am
post #13 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBellaFlor

We are in the ONLY industrial nation without national healthcare. The only ones. I think people fear it so much, cause it's a foreign concept, don't trust the government to excute it properly, the media influences are perception about it, and all those wonderful private insurance lobbist make sure the media and the politicians that they give campaign contributions to make sure we stay scared and make sure any plan will be excuted poorly to justify our fears. I'm off my soap box now. icon_smile.gif




Did you know that the health insurance companies have an exemption from federal antitrust laws? They can price-fix to their hearts content and get away with it. HOWEVER, the healthcare reform bill includes a provision to strip them of that protection, so of course they're trying to keep it from being passed. One of many reasons the health insurance lobbyists are working overtime to keep the status quo.

Jackie, definitely look into the links that Ruth provided. A lot of people are having financial trouble now, and it never hurts to ask for help. Especially for the prescription help, your husband shouldn't have to do without his meds!

summernoelle Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 1:58am
post #14 of 26

Have you ever looked into self insuring? My husband had a job where we were paying $1100/month for insurance. I think you can self insure through Blue Cross.

-K8memphis Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 2:36am
post #15 of 26

Summer I could be wrong but if she's loosing her house I don't think she has the money for any insurance. We don't have health insurance. I carried the family's health benefits before my lay offs started and by then the stuff got so expensive his (tiny little) company couldn't pick us up. But they give a medical stipend every month too.

Anyhow--Jackie, I'm really sorry you're facing all that--yes others have tremendous challenges and tragedy but that doesn't mean that loosing your home isn't a stuggle. I know you're the type to count your blessings but still when it hurts it hurts.

Two ideas for you--I volunteered at my church and that developed into my job where I launched and now run our bookstore. So the idea is--churches like to hire the over 50 crowd--just a thought. This is the first church I've ever attended that hires people that are not members so they are out there. My (crazy) brother just got hired by his church too come to think of it.

The other idea is have you heard of Angel Food??? It's a great program that we run at our church through the bookstore in fact and here's a link of several place in Coshocton that run the program
http://angelfoodministries.com/hosts.asp?search=1&zip=43812--

(((big hug)))

This is a famous quote by somebody or other--"Don't despair but if you do despair work on in despair." In other words, keep going, take just one more step. I hope you never need to quote that to yourself but you'll find there's a light at the end of it. God bless y'all very much.

(That HR guy is stupid.)

LaBellaFlor Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 5:22am
post #16 of 26

A $1100 month for insurance?!?!?!?
She falls & hits the floor ((THUD))
We could never afford that. We can't affors the insurance my husband's job offers now...not to mention it covers nothing & cost a lot just to use.

And costumeczarina I didn't know, but I'm not even surprise!

costumeczar Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 2:52pm
post #17 of 26

My husband just switched jobs, and he has 6 months before his health insurance will be covered by his new employer. Until then we have to pay for Cobra insurance or buy it ourselves. We decided to go with the Cobra, because at $1400 a month (goodbye savings account) it would amount to the same amount of money if we bought coverage ourselves and paid the deductibles.

Anything that you can afford has a huge deductible, so you'd end up paying for all of your medical care anyway until you get to that point. It stinks.

LaBellaFlor Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 2:56pm
post #18 of 26

EXACTLY! My husband's insurance has like a $400 monthly premium with like $50 co-pays...and then we still have to meet the $2500 deductible before we can even use the insurance. Did I mention that was $2000 per person had to be reached and as you know Costumczarina we are a family of 9!

summernoelle Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 4:27pm
post #19 of 26

Wow, well geeze, SORRY K8. Sheesh.

summernoelle Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 4:30pm
post #20 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBellaFlor

A $1100 month for insurance?!?!?!?
She falls & hits the floor ((THUD))
We could never afford that. We can't affors the insurance my husband's job offers now...not to mention it covers nothing & cost a lot just to use.

And costumeczarina I didn't know, but I'm not even surprise!




Yeah, we ended up changing jobs over that. We didn't realize it at first, until our paycheck seemed tiny, and realized how much cheaper self insuring would be. It's ridiculous. What really pissed me off was that during that period, our son was in a bad accident, and we still had over $4000 in bills that they didn't pay. Seems pretty screwed up that we pay that much a month and still had so much in medical bills when we use our insurance.

cabecakes Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 5:01pm
post #21 of 26

Insurance companies have you coming or going. I have absolutely no confidence in our government anymore. There are so many politions with their own personal agendas that they don't really give two hoots about the little guy. Companies walk all over their employees (thanks to our government screwing up the unions). Prices of everything just keeps going up and wages just keep getting smaller and smaller. Between Uncle Sam, work, groceries and the oil companies, I have just about had enough taking one for the old gipper. I barely make enough to afford to drive back and forth to work and feed my family, but yet I make to much to qualify for public assistance. I can't even get the medical card for my daughter. And what really makes me mad are those STUPID people out there that talk about us americans not knowing how to tighten our belts. We just need to do away with the cellphones, tv, extra, etc. I haven't had cable in my home for a year, no phone for a year, I keep my internet for my daughter for school and so I have some resource to the outside world and whats going on. I can at least get the news off here. I have tightened my belt. I pack my lunch, I don't stop for a coffee. How much tighter do I have to tighten my belt.

costumeczar Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 5:57pm
post #22 of 26

Jackie, I hope this works out for you. I didn't give health insurance a thought until recently when I had to look into all of the options, and they all stink.

My inlaws are both on Medicare, and it's GREAT. They have NO paperwork, they just have that medicare card and as soon as the doctors see it it's "see you next time, no copay for you." If the public option is passed the insurance companies will have to start competing, and that's what they don't want. They have so many politicians in their pockets now it's ridiculous. I hate it when they say "we won't be able to compete." They don't WANT to have to compete, they just want to be able to fix their prices and they deny us coverage.

I saw some statistic that said that only 2 to 4% of Americans would even sign up for the public option, but it needs to be there as a choice so that people can get insured if they need to. I have a friend who was in a bad car accident, and he owes the hospital $17,000 that he's worked out a payment plan to pay. He owns his own business but can't afford health insurance. If a public option was available he'd be able to get covered. There's a lot of misinformation on this topic being pushed out there, and if you look at who's doing it it's mostly the health insurance companies. That says a lot to me.

LaBellaFlor Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 10:06pm
post #23 of 26

Cabecakes I'm not sure if they have it in your state, but it is also through Social Services and most states have some type of program like this. It's where you can get a low cost health insurance for your child. It's for working families and just about everyone qualifies. Here in VA it's called FAMIS. Call them and ask.

-K8memphis Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 10:19pm
post #24 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by summernoelle

Wow, well geeze, SORRY K8. Sheesh.




You're forgiven, not sure for what though.

summernoelle Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 11:26pm
post #25 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

Jackie, I hope this works out for you. I didn't give health insurance a thought until recently when I had to look into all of the options, and they all stink.

My inlaws are both on Medicare, and it's GREAT. They have NO paperwork, they just have that medicare card and as soon as the doctors see it it's "see you next time, no copay for you." If the public option is passed the insurance companies will have to start competing, and that's what they don't want. They have so many politicians in their pockets now it's ridiculous. I hate it when they say "we won't be able to compete." They don't WANT to have to compete, they just want to be able to fix their prices and they deny us coverage.

I saw some statistic that said that only 2 to 4% of Americans would even sign up for the public option, but it needs to be there as a choice so that people can get insured if they need to. I have a friend who was in a bad car accident, and he owes the hospital $17,000 that he's worked out a payment plan to pay. He owns his own business but can't afford health insurance. If a public option was available he'd be able to get covered. There's a lot of misinformation on this topic being pushed out there, and if you look at who's doing it it's mostly the health insurance companies. That says a lot to me.




I think there is where the conundrum is-that they say we don't have to chose it, but that employers will be taxed like crazy by offering private insurance, which means they will drop it, which will force us into government healthcare, which will be inferior. However, it does seem wrong that so many have no coverage, or that you can lose everything you own by having a terrible car accident or cancer. I have no idea what the answer is with this issue. I don't like either sides' solution.

costumeczar Posted 14 Nov 2009 , 11:40pm
post #26 of 26

Summernoelle...I just tried to reply and it deleted it! icon_mad.gif Anyway, if the public option ends up being similar to medicare it won't be inferior, as far as I can see. I have no doubt that they need to clamp down on medicare fraud to save money, but while they're all bickering about it there are still so many people who can't afford health insurance at all...They'll never get to a place where everyone is happy, but giving people a choice of affordable insurance can only make the market more competitive, which is what will bring priced down.

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