Cake For A Baby's Memorial

Decorating By Saharan1965 Updated 8 Nov 2009 , 10:17am by Krystina418

Saharan1965 Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 4:16am
post #1 of 20

Im making a cake for my friends cousin that just recently passed away. They found her in her crib and she had passed away. She was only 6 months old. They asked me to make a cake for her memorial and they dont want her name or anything on it because they dont want it to make her parents sad....but Im drawing a blank. The memorial is going to be sad and I want to make this cake and not offend anyone. Got any ideas? It has to feed 100.

19 replies
ApplegumKitchen Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 4:31am
post #2 of 20

oh dear - that is so sad. Think this is a really tricky situation, especially as it is being organised by somebody other than the parents. Nobody knows how they will react, and they probably won't even know themselves.

A funeral/memorial for a baby is an occassion where I think the food is last in line for attention - it is JUST a means of providing sustanance for those attending. I would be more inclined to bake several cakes, not decorated - just cut up on platters - to blend in with other food provided.
They will appreciate whatever you provide.

I think if you do a big cake to feed 100 people you may risk offending people. And I agree WHAT would be appropriate? and how do you know all will agree? Definately don't want cake to be seen as a centrepiece.
You can't even use the logic of it being a 'celebration' of their life .... 6mths just ISN'T long enough

SecretAgentCakeBaker Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 4:52am
post #3 of 20

How sad.

If you do make a cake, perhaps just all white, with a plain white ribbon border around the bottom. No piping.

Here are 2 cakes that I've had in my favorites for a long time. Perhaps you can get an idea from one of them. Maybe the quilting with the palest pink dots at the intersections, or even just plain. Just keep it subtle.

Without the gold/bows probably.

http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1172966

http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1245284

madgeowens Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 5:15am
post #5 of 20

what about a sheet cake made simple.....I made two for my MIL when she died, and it just had bc with some confetti decoration candy sprinkled on it....

Texas_Rose Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 5:40am
post #6 of 20

I would think as simple as possible was best, maybe just a white sheet cake with lines to mark servings, and a small pink rosebud on each one.

Melnick Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 5:51am
post #7 of 20

Perhaps a white cake with a little angel or angel wings in a corner? Whatever idea you have, just run it by your friend. Yesterday was the second anniversary of my friend losing her 11 week old son to SIDS. One thing she and her husband have repeatedly tell me is that it hurts most when people won't say his name or don't mention him at all and pretend as though he never existed.

Or maybe a cake that is like a carrot cake or chocolate cake and it already sliced on a platter?

madgeowens Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 6:05am
post #8 of 20

sprinkles were for the deceased, because she would have liked it......but just bc is good

Bluehue Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 6:24am
post #9 of 20

Please - don't make a sheet cake - trust me - the parents won't want to see something that large and something that gets cut up out in a kitchen at a wedding.

Make a pretty cake - no angle wings - no babies on top.
Just make a pastel pink and white cake -

If you can - plain pastel pink with perhaps a little white teddy.
Quilting would be far more appropriate -

Something that is befitting a child of that age.. soft to look at.


I type from experiance.

Definatley - no sheet cake.....and no angles and no wings.
That might be appropriate for the memorial/church service booklet - but not sitting there on a cake.

It is too *sad* to see that on the day - let alone cut it.


ETA -
Pam wrote You can't even use the logic of it being a 'celebration' of their life .... 6mths just ISN'T long enough

I strongly disagree with this - every Month my daughter lived was a celebration, and now a treasured memory... so to believe that one must reach a certain age before it is celebrated at death is just mind numbing.

Bluehue icon_sad.gif

rainbow_kisses Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 9:22am
post #10 of 20

I agree with bluehue on this one.
I have made a memorial cake in the past but at the parents request and all of their chosen elements went on the cake, so was not a choice i had to make.

icon_sad.gif

ApplegumKitchen Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 9:59am
post #11 of 20

Bluehue - you have misunderstood what I was getting at

This is why I said it is a VERY sensitive issue - sometimes what we say or do - are not interpreted as we intended

essence706 Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 12:15pm
post #12 of 20

Loosing a nephew to SIDS at 4 1/2 mos. I nor any of the immediate family noticed or paid attention to the food or dessert.
I believe a cake that isn't decorated would be good. Just providing dessert to go along with the food is a kind gesture.

tatorchip Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 1:47pm
post #13 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluehue

Please - don't make a sheet cake - trust me - the parents won't want to see something that large and something that gets cut up out in a kitchen at a wedding.

Make a pretty cake - no angle wings - no babies on top.
Just make a pastel pink and white cake -

If you can - plain pastel pink with perhaps a little white teddy.
Quilting would be far more appropriate -

Something that is befitting a child of that age.. soft to look at.


I type from experiance.

Definatley - no sheet cake.....and no angles and no wings.
That might be appropriate for the memorial/church service booklet - but not sitting there on a cake.

It is too *sad* to see that on the day - let alone cut it.


ETA -
Pam wrote You can't even use the logic of it being a 'celebration' of their life .... 6mths just ISN'T long enough

I strongly disagree with this - every Month my daughter lived was a celebration, and now a treasured memory... so to believe that one must reach a certain age before it is celebrated at death is just mind numbing.

Bluehue icon_sad.gif




Soft to look at { PERFECT }
Pam icon_confused.gif

KHalstead Posted 3 Nov 2009 , 2:16pm
post #14 of 20

I think the first cake that Barbaranne posted would be appropriate, I too lost a child and I would have been very appreciative to have someone make such a soft and beautiful cake for us.

I don't think I'd write anything on it though, unless the parents themselves suggested something!

Saharan1965 Posted 4 Nov 2009 , 5:14am
post #15 of 20

Thanks for all the advice! The family requested something pretty for their daughter so Im going to make a tiered and quilted pink and white cake with butterflies. Nothing too fancy but pretty and simple. Something she would have loved.

letsgetcaking Posted 4 Nov 2009 , 2:47pm
post #16 of 20

I like the choices you made. They sound pretty and appropriate. I'm sure the family will appreciate it.

Loucinda Posted 5 Nov 2009 , 6:57pm
post #17 of 20

I have been through the funerals of two of my children. (both sons, one died soon after birth, one died at the age of 6 weeks - a year apart)

It is very heart warming to read of you worrying about what to do for the cake for them. I guarantee you, it is something they will never forget you doing. I cannot remember ANY of the food itself, but I remember every person who donated something, or said a kind word in rememberance of my sons.

CakeDiosa Posted 6 Nov 2009 , 10:09am
post #18 of 20

wow. It's so sad to hear that so many of you have lost babies and children.

Perhaps, if you do sugar flowers, include her birth flower from the month she was born....

Whatever you make will be beautiful I'm sure.....

sorry again for the loss for those of you speaking from experience....

CakesByPenny Posted 6 Nov 2009 , 6:49pm
post #19 of 20

Soft pastel color with forget me knots. No words.

Krystina418 Posted 8 Nov 2009 , 10:17am
post #20 of 20

I too lost a baby, he was stillborn at 36 weeks. I don't remember any of the food, but I do remember that people made things for us to eat at the reception. It meant so much to me that they took the time. I think what your planning on making sounds perfect.

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