Manners Question

Lounge By mbelgard Updated 10 Nov 2009 , 1:56am by peg818

mbelgard Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 7:29pm
post #1 of 35

This is more of a vent than anything but I am curious about how others view this too.

Is it just my area or do people all over have issues with basic phone manners regarding caller ID and wrong numbers?

We regularly get calls where after I answer by saying hello the first things out of the caller's mouth is "who is this?" or "who's phone number is this?" No "hello" or "may I ask who I'm speaking to" or "is this ______".


Almost all the calls like this are people who dialed the wrong number. I guess I was always told that if you do that you should either ask who you're speaking to if unsure or apologize if you know it's the wrong number so it bugs me horribly.

The ones who really irritate me are the ones who call because they saw the number on caller ID. I suspect most of them aren't even calling the right number then because generally no one was making calls from here when their number says the call came in.


Last night I had a guy call after 10 pm from a cell phone who did this. My standard response is generally something like "well who is this?" because I figure that if they're going to be rude I dont' really want to tell them who I am and I can be rude back. He told me that he wasn't trying to be a smart a$$ but that the number had shown up on his caller ID and he was trying to find out who was calling him. After I told him that was unlikely and that maybe he had dialed wrong he still insisted so I asked him what time the call had come in. There was no way based on the time of the call that it had come from our house, I had called two numbers last night and both were the right number and I was the only adult home, so I told him that and hung up.

Enough that I told my husband that everyone on this reservation should be required to take manners courses BEFORE being allowed to get caller ID or a cell phone.


Maybe I'm just odd because I don't get worked up about unfamiliar numbers that show up on the phone unless they involve a nasty answering machine message. I know people sometimes dial wrong so I generally assume it's a wrong number or that they will call me back.

34 replies
tatorchip Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 7:37pm
post #2 of 35

hello
who is this
who do you want to speak to
CLICK

this happens alot to me also
I hate when that happens

Texas_Rose Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 7:39pm
post #3 of 35

I've always apologized when I dialed a wrong number.

I don't answer the phone anymore when it's a number I don't recognize. It's inconvenient when it's my mother calling me from a store or a doctor's office (she doesn't like to use her cell phone) but she can leave a message and I'll call back. I don't have a home phone anymore...got rid of it after I had to dust it and realized it hadn't rung or been used in more than a month icon_biggrin.gif...and you don't generally get telemarketers calling the cell phone.

I used to work at a store that had a name similiar to a popular restaurant and was on the same street. Sometimes people would call directory assistance for the restaurant's number and get ours instead. About one third would say sorry and hang up. Another third would ask if I knew the number for the restaurant (which I had taped to the counter by the phone because so many people asked), and the last third would ask if I could just take their order and call the restaurant with it (yeah, right). I could never believe anyone would ask that, we were two different businesses more than two miles away from each other and I would clearly explain that we weren't connected to them in any way.

Rylan Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 7:42pm
post #4 of 35

I agree, people need to learn some manners. I usually apoligize when I dial the wrong number.

indydebi Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 7:50pm
post #5 of 35

I'm with ya. To us, it's a security issue. When someone asks "who is this?", there is no way I'm giving my name to them. I will also not tell them what number they dialed for the same reason.

When I receive a wrong number, I always ask "What number were you calling?" because I want to know if they wrote it down wrong or dialed wrong. If they wrote it down wrong, they'll keep calling me. So it's my way of helping them out by telling them, 'You dialed the last digit wrong."

I'm getting to where I just hate phones. Email me.

cabecakes Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 7:55pm
post #6 of 35

I think people just need to learn manners and ettiquette all the way around. Does noone have manners anymore? I was helping out at a school function in which both students and adults were working, I had a STUDENT tell me to get out of the way. i just stood there and looked at him and politely said, "Excuse me works a lot better." He said, "uh..oh yeah sorry". How rude.

ApplegumKitchen Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 7:56pm
post #7 of 35

I'd be ringing your telephone provider - sounds like you have somebody hacking into your phone line

If one person rings and says..... oh this number showed up on my caller ID - fair enough, that COULD be an excuse somebody might use if they had in fact dialed the wrong digit.

But when you have had a number of people ALL using the SAME excuse ..... mmmmm..... something to think about

Tiffany29 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 3:11am
post #8 of 35

I always apologize when I dial a wrong number.

I have had the same number for 3 1/2 yrs and around spring time every year I get calls for Polaris Parts, Beavercreek Rental and the Clary residence. It drives me insane because I know that I have told these people they have the wrong number, Why the hell keep trying to call it every year?

Next time I should just mess with them and take an order or something!LOL!

maryjsgirl Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 3:27am
post #9 of 35

I can't stand it when people call my phone and ask who I am!

My answer is always, "you called me".

indydebi Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 3:33am
post #10 of 35

oh! oh! my favorite wrong number story!

My sister & her husband had a lady call and she wanted to place an order with Dominoe's Pizza. Ironically, my brother-in-law used to work at dominoes, and he just told her "Sorry, ma'am, you dialed the wrong number. Seconds later the phone rings again and it's the same lady, laughing because "oh my goodness I dialed the wrong number a few seconds ago!" BIL told her she dialed it again. Seconds later the phone rings again ... same lady. BIL tells her, "Lady will you look up the damn number!" She gets all pissy at HIM because she dialed the wrong number. BIL hangs up on her. Seconds later the phone rings. It's her.

BIL took her pizza order. icon_lol.gif

Ruth0209 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 3:42am
post #11 of 35

When I get an unknown number on my phone, my husband always says, "Call them back and ask them what they want" which is just the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. If it's a wrong number, what are they going to say? If it's important and someone I know, they'll either leave a message or call back.

I hate it when people call and say "who is this?" I always say, "Who is THIS?" or "Who are you calling?" That slows them down.

If I misdial, I always say something like, "Oh, pardon me. I'm so sorry for disturbing you." It doesn't seem like rocket science, but common courtesy seems to be hard to come by sometimes.

adonisthegreek1 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 3:48am
post #12 of 35

When I dial a wrong number, I immediately apologize and say goodbye.

If I'm not sure whether I dialed the # correctly because an unexpected voice answers, I say, "Oh, I was trying to reach---.

When I get unknown numbers on my house phone I let it go. If I get unknown numbers on my cell phone, I hit re-dial and inquire if anyone at that number called me because it's on my Caller ID.

I'm never rude and never just hang up.

Tiffany29 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 3:52am
post #13 of 35

When my cousins were little, around 5 and 6 they would answer the phone and just say " who is it?" instead of hello! icon_lol.gif

I don't normally call wrong numbers back unless they have left a meesage on my answering machine. I politely let them know they called the wrong #.

7yyrt Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 4:31am
post #14 of 35

I screen all calls. If I don't know you, I don't answer.
The calls that drove us nuts until we figured it out, were the hang up calls. Once we figured out they were fax machines calling, it's become a game making bets as to how long it will take someone to figure out the fax is not calling another fax machine.

indydebi Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 4:38am
post #15 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by 7yyrt

I screen all calls. If I don't know you, I don't answer.
The calls that drove us nuts until we figured it out, were the hang up calls. Once we figured out they were fax machines calling, it's become a game making bets as to how long it will take someone to figure out the fax is not calling another fax machine.




Oh I hate those! And it takes forever because most fax machines anymore are programmable ... meaning they enter the phone number, put the paper in, hit start and when their fax has fed thru, they pick up their paperwork and walk away. The machine will keep dialing until the fax sends. There's no one standing at the machine to even KNOW it's not going thru! aaauuuggghhhh!!!!!

Tiffany29 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 11:49am
post #16 of 35

OMG!! I used to get those stupid fax calls too.
Used to pi$$ me off to the point I was yelling into my phone! icon_mad.gif
Eventually we had to change our number.

SecretAgentCakeBaker Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 11:59am
post #17 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

I'm getting to where I just hate phones. Email me.




That's me too! I cringe when the phone rings, and a lot of times I just let the answering machine get it and I'll email the person back rather than calling if I can. I have told many people to email me rather than call, but many of them just don't get it and keep calling. I feel like it is an invasion of my time. At least with email, I can look at it/respond when I actually have some time.

I have one friend that insists on calling, every day, sometimes several times. Usually if I have a question for her I will email. She always calls me back to answer, saying it is faster for her to call than email. Not really because she winds up spending a half hour chatting; the email would have taken 3 minutes. (She has high speed internet and a new computer, so it's not technology issues.)


My 7 year old gets all crazy when the phone rings and tells me to answer it. I keep telling her that just because the phone rings doesn't mean I have to answer it, especially if I am busy.

I especially hate it when I am in a store and the person helping me answers the phone and spends time helping the caller, rather than me. The polite clerks ask the caller to please hold.

Tiffany29 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 12:17pm
post #18 of 35
Quote:
Quote:

My 7 year old gets all crazy when the phone rings and tells me to answer it. I keep telling her that just because the phone rings doesn't mean I have to answer it, especially if I am busy




My dd does that. She runs to the phone when it rings because she thinks it's my mother and it's ok to answer. She'll ask me "if it says m-o-m can I answer it?"

Since we switched our phone over to our cable provider. We can't use the phone and computer at the same time because apparently our phone runs on the same frequency as the computer. So alot of calls get unanswered!

michellenj Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 4:58pm
post #19 of 35

We get people calling us all night and day because our number is one digit off from the Hilton Garden Inn's number. People are frequently rude when I try to tell them that they need to dial 6686, so occasionally I will mess with them. DH's cell phone number got printed in the phone book for a modeling agency in Philly, so he gets all sorts of crazy calls from teenagers and stage moms.

costumeczar Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 5:41pm
post #20 of 35

I used to get an elderly lady who would call our number, listen to the entire answering machine message, then tell the machine "I'm sorry, I dialed the wrong number." She did this at least three times a week, and it was getting to be kind of a joke that she would listen to the whole message and then tell the machine it was a wrong number!

At one point I answered the phone and it was her, and she said "I have the wrong number, but I have to ask...What is the cake thing on your answering machine?" I had a nice little conversation with her, and she said that she had vision problems and a friend with a phone number very close to mine. I figured it was somethiing like that but it was kind of funny that she wouldn't just hang up when she realized that it was the same answering machine message each time!

I also have a number that's close to some magician/clown party business, so every now and then I'll get someone who calls and asks if this is where the clowns are icon_lol.gif I'm never sure how to answer that one! icon_twisted.gif

Lcubed82 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 5:55pm
post #21 of 35

My church's number is one number off from the local hospital. We get LOTS of calls, and people can be quite insistant (fill in many other words there) that WE are wrong when we tell them. At least it is the main number, not the emergency line!

7yyrt Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 5:56pm
post #22 of 35

It's very handy to be one number off the body shop. When people want my phone number and I don't want to give it, I put the body shop's number down.
I figure it's not a bad trade for all of the wrong numbers I have cheerfully given their correct number to through the past 11 years.

mommapaul3 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 10:49pm
post #23 of 35

When I was in college, our phone number was identical to the billing department at a local hospital, except their number was a 1-800 number and ours was local. So many people would skip the 1-800 and just dial our number.

The people that killed me were the ones who would listen to our answering maching message that said something like "Hi, you've reached the HOME of X,X,X, and X..." They would leave a message wanting us to call them back to straighten something out about their bill. Then they would keep calling us back and leaving the same message.

mommapaul3 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 11:03pm
post #24 of 35

When I was in college, our phone number was identical to the billing department at a local hospital, except their number was a 1-800 number and ours was local. So many people would skip the 1-800 and just dial our number.

The people that killed me were the ones who would listen to our answering maching message that said something like "Hi, you've reached the HOME of X,X,X, and X..." They would leave a message wanting us to call them back to straighten something out about their bill. Then they would keep calling us back and leaving the same message.

sherrycanary62 Posted 6 Nov 2009 , 8:20pm
post #25 of 35

here is my standard answer

Hello
Who is this?
I don't know WHO is this, you called my house where I pay the phone bill

rude...you bet....but maybe they will get it.[/u][/i]

misserica Posted 7 Nov 2009 , 12:49am
post #26 of 35

I changed cell numbers a few months ago and ever since I have been getting calls for someone else who evidently spoke Spanish. If I answer the phone (I never do if its a number I do not recognize) I try to explain that I do not speak Spanish. This morning I got out of the shower to a voice mail, check it, entire things is in Spanish. I delete and move on. Literally, as I am typing this post my cells rings, local number I do not recognize, I answer it. Spanish man says he is looking for Antonio, I say I am sorry you have the wrong number, he apologizes hangs up...bet ya a cupcake he calls back tomorrow!

What I dont get is that my voice mail is obvious. Its a profession voice mail that says "You have reached the voice mail of Erica _______, yada yada yada", if you were not calling for Erica why did you let the thing beep?

Tiffany29 Posted 7 Nov 2009 , 2:30am
post #27 of 35

People get a little confused when they get my answering machine and think that they really have dialed the wrong number.
It's my daughter on the mahine and she says "leave a message, we'll call you back, I'm sorry I'm not at the phone....I just can't..be at the phone."

I can't bring myself to change it. It cracks people up!

auntmamie Posted 7 Nov 2009 , 3:13am
post #28 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Oh I hate those! And it takes forever because most fax machines anymore are programmable ... meaning they enter the phone number, put the paper in, hit start and when their fax has fed thru, they pick up their paperwork and walk away. The machine will keep dialing until the fax sends. There's no one standing at the machine to even KNOW it's not going thru! aaauuuggghhhh!!!!!




I SIT next to one of those machines in my office! We have 65 employees, 4 of those stupid fax/scan/copy/print humongeous combos, and they are always not working right! icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif

On another note, a few months ago, I kept getting a call for one guy. Can't remember his name now. I always kept saying that they had the wrong number, but they kept calling, saying that someone else gave them my number. Finally, I got a call at 2am asking where this guy was. I must have b****ed out the guy, because I got a text a few minutes later saying "don't have a cow lady, geez, I guess I won't be calling you anymore" Good Riddance!

Gingoodies Posted 7 Nov 2009 , 7:01pm
post #29 of 35

Not acknowledging a number you do not recognize can come back to bite you in the butt. Big Time!

I had an order for a communion cake. More than a week before the event, a family emergency arose. I called the customer from my cel phone. (I hardly ever use my cel phone for cake calls/orders. I prefer to use my house phone.) I was forced to leave a message on her voicemail.

Being caught up in my family matters, I did not follow up to confirm that she received my message.

A couple of days later, she called to confirm pick-up time etc. OMG!! When I spoke with her, I explained that I had called and left the message regarding the cake. She replied, "when I don't recognize a number, I don't listen to the message"!!! I explained the situation, but she was pissed (understandable, I guess). We hung up. When I next checked my voice mail on my home phone her DH had left a really nasty message about my cancelling their cake.

Not good for them or me! Lesson learned.

Check your messages!!

mrspriss0912 Posted 8 Nov 2009 , 2:46am
post #30 of 35

I agree I hate bad manners!!!!!!! phone manners or just manners in general I have threatened to give out copies of Emily Post this year as Christmas gifts icon_lol.gif

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