Well, I Never....

Lounge By Brandy982006 Updated 3 Nov 2009 , 2:08pm by cylstrial

Brandy982006 Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 1:15am
post #1 of 31

I hope this doesn't come off too baby-ish but I just have to get this off my chest. I work with 11 girls...we all (seem to) get along...or so I thought. So, one of the girls graduated nursing school and she was having a party this evening. She practically begged me to make her cake for her which I was more than happy to do. It took me a couple days to put it together, had to make the pieces and stuff and set up the cake and, well, you know the routine. So, I stay up till 11:00 putting the whole thing together (you can see the cake in my pics) and have to get up at 4:00am to go to work. I am all too pleased with how it came out UNTIL I find out later that she had invited all the other girls to her party. Ok, um, what...I am good enough of a friend to make your cake but not come to the party?!? I was a bit hurt by this but said nothing...I can't make her invite me but it really hurt my feelings. I started putting all the signs together of her "secretly" inviting people to the party. I don't know, is it just me??? Or is this STRAIGHT UP rude!?! Just had to vent...I hate complaining but this just ruined my day icon_cry.gif

Thanks for listening (reading icon_wink.gif )

30 replies
Jeff_Arnett Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 1:35am
post #2 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandy982006

I hope this doesn't come off too baby-ish but I just have to get this off my chest. I work with 11 girls...we all (seem to) get along...or so I thought. So, one of the girls graduated nursing school and she was having a party this evening. She practically begged me to make her cake for her which I was more than happy to do. It took me a couple days to put it together, had to make the pieces and stuff and set up the cake and, well, you know the routine. So, I stay up till 11:00 putting the whole thing together (you can see the cake in my pics) and have to get up at 4:00am to go to work. I am all too pleased with how it came out UNTIL I find out later that she had invited all the other girls to her party. Ok, um, what...I am good enough of a friend to make your cake but not come to the party?!? I was a bit hurt by this but said nothing...I can't make her invite me but it really hurt my feelings. I started putting all the signs together of her "secretly" inviting people to the party. I don't know, is it just me??? Or is this STRAIGHT UP rude!?! Just had to vent...I hate complaining but this just ruined my day icon_cry.gif

Thanks for listening (reading icon_wink.gif )


Lesson learned...no free cakes! Period! And, by the way, she is NOT your friend! I'd be hurt too!

Callyssa Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 1:46am
post #3 of 31

I'm very sensitive and get hurt easily; this would definitely hurt my feelings. But....is it possible that she just expected that you would 'know' you'd be invited, since you were making the cake, and that's why she didn't formally invite you? Not trying to play the devil's advocate, but I always try to see every side of a situation before I make a conclusion; sometimes it's hard to to do that when you're in the middle, and it's easier for an outsider to help you be objective.

That said, if she really did invite all the other girls and not you that is just horrible, but to do that and have the moxie to ask you do the cake also is just plain cruel.

Just remember; it's better to have one or two REAL friends than a squad who are half heartedly into the friendship.

Brandy982006 Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 2:04am
post #4 of 31

Jeff...Lesson learned, No more cakes for any of them...I am going to stick to family and REAL friends.

Callyssa...My husband asked me the same thing about her thinking I am "automatically" invited because I made the cake but I don't believe it to be true because we even talked about me bringing the cake to work so she can take it home.

I really didn't even mind not getting invited to the party -at first- because she was talking about it mostly being family but when she handed this one girl the invitation and I played it off like "oh, what's that?" kind of stupid thing and the girl not knowing anything told me it was the invitation. I played it off like it was cool she got it and stuff but I was hurt.

My husband said I shouldn't take the cake to work and say I didn't have time to make it but i hated the thought that she was going to officially invite me after seeing me this morning.

Oh well, such is life.

alene Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 2:07am
post #5 of 31

Did she ask for a FREE cake. I'd probably have to charge her! :0

globalgatherings Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 2:20am
post #6 of 31

Well, I think you should confront her on it and let her know all the work you put into that cake. You don't have to be mean about it, but she needs to know that she hurt you. If you don't want to do it face to face, write her a little note. I'd tell her too what you normally charge for a cake like that. She's just an insensitive dumb ass and you shouldn't let her get away with this behavior. Let us know how your next day at work goes with these girls. Good Luck

Brandy982006 Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 2:27am
post #7 of 31

Thank you all for the support...We work together in the morning so I will tell her how I feel. I didn't say anthing today because I just wanted to cry about it. I will let you all know how it goes tomorrow.

Thanks again icon_biggrin.gif

Brandy982006 Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 2:31am
post #8 of 31

Oh, and we never talked about me charging her...I was actually going to do it as a graduation gift from me to her...NEVER AGAIN will I make a cake for her! Not even if she paid me...She is not worth my time.

thumbs_up.gif

cylstrial Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 2:46am
post #9 of 31

That's really mean and just down right rude. How did you figure it out?

cylstrial Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 2:50am
post #10 of 31

By the way, the cake looks really good! I love the needle and the bandaid.

indydebi Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 2:52am
post #11 of 31

hand her the cake ..... and an invoice. I would have more fun watching her face when she sees the value of the cake and sees what you expect to be paid, than I would by going to her party! icon_twisted.gif

Callyssa Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 3:04am
post #12 of 31

I'm with Debi on this one!! LOL That's EXACTLY what I would do!! hehee!!!

live2create Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 3:10am
post #13 of 31

I am so sorry for what happened to you, I have been in your shoes. There have been many threads on CC about this and what I remember the most is this " if you ask me you pay" If I volunteer it is FREE..You learn who your friends are, and who will use you to get what they want and what makes them look good.
Do you think she assumed because she asked youto make the cake , you would be apart of her party and celebration , and because you did not have a formal invite you there was miss communication?
Bottom LINE, YOU aske you pay, I volunteer I give to you...

tonimarie Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 3:34am
post #14 of 31

I was really hoping that when I clicked on your pics it would be a sheet cake...after seeing her cake it makes me even more disgusted at her than I was before.....I think tomorrow you should hand her an invoice and say oh sorry I forgot to bring this yesterday icon_twisted.gif

Brandy982006 Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 3:49am
post #15 of 31

LOL...I love the idea of handing her the invoice...The shock value alone would be great!

She did ask me to make the cake a couple of weeks ago...We didn't talk price the first day she asked me because we were working and it was just a quick conversation about it and I said that I would do it...about a week ago she brought up the cake by saying her mom was excited to see what I create for her and that she wanted it to be a surprise. My fault for not bringing up money then...In my head I turned it into a gift because I should have said something about how much.

When I brought it in this morning she said it looked "nice" and she thanked me and turned around and went back to work. I was just in awe and decided "F** this B**" and didn't talk to her the rest of the day. She left, I cried and here we are, LOL.

The way I figured it all out was yesterday everyone was talking about who was picking up whom and what time to meet. I said NOTHING! I feel kind of stupid but I was hurt.

My husband asked me if I would have gone had I been invited...the honest answer is no because I have to get up at 4am to go to work but she didn't know that I wouldn't have gone.

Ugh!! The knot in my stomache for not saying ANYTHING is killing me, LOL.

prterrell Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 3:59am
post #16 of 31

OMG! That cake is too cute! Def. hand her an invoice, no discounts! $5/serving + extra for all the fondant/gumpaste pieces.

Brandy982006 Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 4:05am
post #17 of 31

According to a serving chart online, it will be about 40 servings making this around $200+. I sure could use some new cake decorating items...I think I need to go work on that invoice, LOL.

kaseyrconnect Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 4:10am
post #18 of 31

That really sucks! I know people like that and it does hurt that people can be so cruel and not even care. I saw your cake and it looks like you put a lot of thought into it and time into it - that says a lot about the kind of person you are. If I were her I would feel pretty crappy about not inviting someone who spent so much time and energy and thought into making something so special for me.

Brandy982006 Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 4:22am
post #19 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaseyrconnect

That really sucks! I know people like that and it does hurt that people can be so cruel and not even care. I saw your cake and it looks like you put a lot of thought into it and time into it - that says a lot about the kind of person you are. If I were her I would feel pretty crappy about not inviting someone who spent so much time and energy and thought into making something so special for me.




I really do wish that those who do not make cakes, cookies, cupcakes etc. could really understand what it's like for all of us...Time, energy, actual brainwork to come up with creative ideas and especially time away from the family.

I was a good friend to her but I guess she didn't see it that way.

Mensch Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 5:56am
post #20 of 31

Man, people suck.

lthiele Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 12:57pm
post #21 of 31

Um, she looked at that cake and all she said was "nice." This girl is an out and out BITCH! You said YOU turned it into a gift by not discussing the price, doesn't mean you actually told her that right! I agree, put an invoice in her in-tray, locker whatever!

Adevag Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 3:01pm
post #22 of 31

Your cake is perfect! For a person who does not even make cakes that cake should really have impressed her. To only call it "nice" is shocking! She seems to be a very spoiled and ungrateful person. Did she say thank you? Did she say anything to you after the party? A thank you letter? Anything?

cakesbycathy Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 4:34pm
post #23 of 31

I'm sure it would really make things even more unpleasant at your work place (love that office gossip icon_cool.gif ), but this is what I would do...

Send her an invoice.
When she expresses her shock at the price, tell her "well, it was going to be my gift to you but then I wasn't invited to the party."
Watch her squirm.

Now I'm sure she will do the whole "well I just assumed you knew you were invited" bullsh!t, and you will probably never get paid. But it will probably make you feel better.

Lesson learned for the future.
I'm very, very sorry this happened to you.

Brandy982006 Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 11:50pm
post #24 of 31

**Update**

First, lthiele , to answer your question, I never told her I was going to give her the cake, it was going to be a little surprise for her when I gave it to her but after the series of events I figured FORGET IT, LOL.

So I went to work today and I didn't see her right away. I didn't really look for her because my stomache was in knotts. She came up to me to tell me everyone loved the cake...I said (with sarcasm) "that's nice". She said she forgot to ask me how much she owes me for the cake. I told her (with knotts and anger) that that cake is worth over $200...She said she only had $80 on her...I said that's fine (in anger) I'll take it (I didn't want to have to wait to see if she would give me more...I wanted to end it). I shouldn't have settled but I really didn't want to talk to her. She handed me the money and then I unleashed a bit. I told her I was hurt that I didnt get invited to the party (oh, btw, the other girls didn't know I did not get invited so all day they kept talking about the party...ugh!) she tried to give me some crap about tickets to the ceremony and I said I didn't need to go to the ceremony and whatever...she said she was sorry she didn't invite me but I didn't really accept it. I told her how hurt I was that she could ask me for a cake but not get invited to the party when all the other girls were invited...she just stood there staring at me...I wanted to slap her but I just walked away. One of the other girls came up to me and asked me what all that between us was about and I straight up told her how messed up that was. She felt bad about it and said she had no idea. I found out that a couple of the other girls didn't get invited either but I know she didn't like those girls...I thought she liked me but oh well.

Well, that's the end of that I guess...No more cakes for her though. But, on a brighter note...I have a nice cake for my portfolio icon_biggrin.gif

Thank you all for your support...It really helps to tell this to those who understand...You guys are the best thumbs_up.gif

JGMB Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 12:49am
post #25 of 31

So sorry this happened to you, Brandy. It reminds me of when my daughter was about 8 and the girl across the street had a birthday party and told my daughter on the walk home from school that she was sorry she wasn't inviting her, but she was only allowed 8 guests. YES they walked to and from school together every day and played with each other constantly. My poor little girl was crushed and I was ANGRY icon_mad.gif

I'm glad that you were brave enough to tell her how wrong she was!

paulstonia Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 6:53pm
post #26 of 31

Brandy, so sorry this happened to you. I'm so glad you told her how you feel. I'm sure she doesn't "get it" , people like that never do. Their world only revolves around them, other peoples feelings don't seem to matter. At least you know who she really is now. Too bad for her, she could of had a friend who knows what friendship is. And I love your cake! Glad she won't be getting another icon_smile.gif

cabecakes Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 7:06pm
post #27 of 31

After seeing that cake, I would most definitely hand her an invoice. If it makes you feel better, knock some of the price off as a "graduation gift". No way see should expect to get a cake like that for free. You have to have hours in that cake with all those little pills and the syringe and other accessories. GIVE HER THE INVOICE.

Pookie59 Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 7:08pm
post #28 of 31

Sounds familiar. I had a co-worker who always raved about my German chocolate cake. (I was stupid at the time - thought we were friends.) So, for her birthday I stayed up late and made a German chocolate cake. Brought it into work the next day.

About mid-morning her boss comes by and tells her he'd like to take her out to lunch and for her to bring a friend. (This girl sat right next to me, by the way. ) Does she look over and say, hey come to lunch? Heck, no! She turns her back on me, gets on the phone and starts a whispered conversation wherein she invites a girl from another floor/department. Never made another cake for her benefit.

globalgatherings Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 7:36pm
post #29 of 31

Brandy, I am so proud of you. Confrontation can be difficult and you handled it perfectly. HOORAY!!! for you. Thanx for posting, I was waiting to see what happened. Way to go girl!! icon_biggrin.gifthumbs_up.gif

diane Posted 2 Nov 2009 , 9:08pm
post #30 of 31

awesome looking cake! you definitely need to charge her for that! thumbs_up.gif

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