Wedding Planner Telling Me How To...

Business By Jessica1817 Updated 1 Nov 2009 , 4:56pm by indydebi

Jessica1817 Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 3:02am
post #1 of 28

do my cake! I'm trying to stay professional, but I'm so frustrated. I am part of a networking group which has been nice, but the coordinator has been difficult. First, her husband is making the stand, so when I emailed her to confirm everything she acted offended, saying that she does this all the time and has everything covered. She emails me tonight and is arguing over what size cake board I need to use for the size of the cake. I don't want to burn any bridges here, but its my name connected to this cake. Sorry, had to vent!!!

27 replies
LKing12 Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 3:16am
post #2 of 28

You're dealing with the wedding planner and not the bride? That would not fly with me...

Jessica1817 Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 3:24am
post #3 of 28

You're dealing with the wedding planner and not the bride? That would not fly with me...

She actually contacted me about the cake board, I just confirmed with her the stand her husband was making. But funny you mentioned that, when I confirmed everything with the bride (standard for me) she also seemed offended, like there was no need since she was the planner icon_confused.gif

FromScratch Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 3:50am
post #4 of 28

Oh hell no... that is one way to spell pissed off bride in 2 shakes. I would inform her (politely at first) that you only deal directly with brides since they are the ones paying for the cake and signing the contracts. You have no problem giving her copies of everything that the bride agrees to, but all details must be finalized BY THE BRIDE. If she balks... then feel free to get snippy.

Wedding planners need to be put in their place sometimes.

costumeczar Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 6:21pm
post #5 of 28

There are some planners who only want you to deal with them directly, and never talk to the bride...Avoid them! When I get emails from planners on behalf of the client I tell them to have the client email me directly herself, since I find it easier to deal directly with the customer. If they don't like it that's fine.

indydebi Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 7:20pm
post #6 of 28

sounds like you got one of those planners who get on power trips with the *I* am the one in CHARGE syndrome. icon_mad.gif

Good planners, professional planners, dont' act this way. If she wants to pay my bills, then she can tell me how to run my business. Until then, MY business is NONE of HERS!

Can you say "Bite my ass" with a smile on your face? icon_rolleyes.gif It's easy. Really!

Bonnell Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 7:42pm
post #7 of 28

The only wedding cake I've ever done was my father's so I don't have any experience with this issue but I thought the whole idea of a planner was so the bride didn't have to deal with all the details of the wedding - that's what the planner was for. I would think paying for a planner and then having to field phone calls from all your vendors would be a waste of money. Am I wrong?

Indydebi - I love your new avatar pic.

Bonnell

indydebi Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 7:54pm
post #8 of 28

Bonnell, thanks! I have to admit I stole the pose idea from leahs. I really wanted to hold a whisk, like she is, but thought that would be WAY too obvious! A photog friend did a bunch of headshots for me (I got about 20 of them) for $25.

It's a fine line on the planner issue. A planner helps keep the bride organized. Helps her select vendors that meet her style and budget. Helps her by going to appts and getting things set up. Helps her by calling vendors to confirm details prior to the wedding.

A good planner does not discourage a vendor from contacting the bride directly. I wouldnt' take a wedding cake order from a planner, without the bride being there. I will happily copy the planner on all correspondence, so she can do her job and keep everything organized for the bride. With this info, the planner can field a lot of little questions the bride has during the process.

You deal with the person who signs the contract.

Bonnell Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 8:07pm
post #9 of 28

Indydebi,
Thanks for clearing that up! I learn something new everytime I come to CC!

FleurDeCake Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 8:14pm
post #10 of 28

don't really have anything to add .. I think you all were pretty accurate. Did want to tell indydebi that I so love the ne pic. looks great. icon_lol.gifthumbs_up.gif

Babarooskie Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 8:16pm
post #11 of 28

That would really irritate me....

Since I'm such a smartass (and my husband would totally agree), next time she says, "I am the wedding planner and I have done this many times..." I would say, "Wonderful! YOU can make the check out to XXXXXX. Thanks!" icon_smile.gif

Jessica1817 Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 8:21pm
post #12 of 28

Indydebi, you hit the nail on the head with the "power trip" complex. She is very organized, but really thinks she is an expert on every aspect of the wedding, including what size cake board I should use for heaven's sake! Also, she sent out the final payments to the vendors from her business account. I've never has the planner make the payment, is this standard or scary???
BTW, haven't heard back from her since my last "firm" email, so we'll see.

leah_s Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 9:47pm
post #13 of 28

[quote="Babarooskie"]That would really irritate me....

next time she says, "I am the wedding planner and I have done this many times..." I would say, icon_smile.gif[/quote]

"I"M a cake designer and I have done THIS many times."

costumeczar Posted 30 Oct 2009 , 11:11pm
post #14 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessica1817

Also, she sent out the final payments to the vendors from her business account. I've never has the planner make the payment, is this standard or scary???
.




I've had several planners pay from their business accounts, but for some reason those are always the weddings that get cancelled or the planners get fired, then want their money back because the bride never paid them. I get the feeling that some planners front the money to book the vendors, then have the brides on some kind of payment schedule of the planner's making.

I'm trying to think of a diplomatic way to say this...The planners who do that also seem to either be new to the business, or they don't have the best reputation. The planners who have the best reputations around here are generally very hands-off with the vendors. They coordinate everything, but they don't micromanage in any way shape or form. They certainly don't write checks to pay for the vendors, either. One planner I know learned that the hard way when the bride cancelled her wedding before paying the planner, and the planenr had written checks to the vendors out of her own pocket. Guess who was out the money? Not the bride...

mommicakes Posted 31 Oct 2009 , 12:01am
post #15 of 28

Indy awesome headshot!!! Love it You look great!!
also.....
"Can you say "Bite my ass" with a smile on your face?"
I AM SO GONNA USE THIS ONE!!!!!

another one I would use with someone like this is:

I AM a cake designer, I don't just play one on TV. icon_wink.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

Jessica1817 Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 3:26am
post #16 of 28

She's baaack...... She emailed pretty much saying she has spoken with other decorators and pretty much her way is the right way. How do I respond to this in a professional way? Obviously she won't be referring me anymore which is fine, but I don't want to be kicked out of the networking group because I like the other vendors. Did I mention this cake is for next Saturday? Ugh icon_sad.gif

Jessica1817 Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 3:26am
post #17 of 28

She's baaack...... She emailed pretty much saying she has spoken with other decorators and pretty much her way is the right way. How do I respond to this in a professional way? Obviously she won't be referring me anymore which is fine, but I don't want to be kicked out of the networking group because I like the other vendors. Did I mention this cake is for next Saturday? Ugh icon_sad.gif

indydebi Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 3:36am
post #18 of 28

Oh now that would so piss me off! What the hell is she doing, going to other cake decorators and asking how you should be doing something? And exactly WHAT version of the story did she tell them? All of this drama over the size of a freakin' cake board? icon_eek.gif

now that I've vented ....... icon_rolleyes.gif

Can you share what it is she is asking? Is it something like you're going to put a 14" cake on a 16" board and she thinks it should be an 18" board or something? what's the deal?

cakesbycathy Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 3:40am
post #19 of 28

"I appreciate your input. I am confident that the bride will be happy with the cake."


It sounds like she thinks she can push you around. At this point, if you know the dimensions of the stand, get the board you feel is most appropriate. As far as decorating the cake - follow the contract to the letter. Make sure you document everything. If you have any other questions or concerns, talk with the bride directly.

Good luck!

Jessica1817 Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 3:50am
post #20 of 28

The cake has short columns so that it looks like it is floating on roses, including the bottom tier of the cake which is on a 2" riser surrounded by roses. The masonite boards I order are a hair smaller than the cake drums (which are too thick for the stand, the roses would not cover), so for a 16" bottom tier I am going to use a 16 1/2" board. She is arguing that the roses won't lay right, and will essentially ruin the look of the cake. The cake is buttercream, so I can't use a thin coat like fondant, and know the icing will come over the edge of the board. I've told her this, as well as the space will be less than 1/4". She is seriously freaking out about less than 1/4". Her solution is for me to add a 2" cake or cake dummy to the bottom tier for the roses to be tucked in to. Even if she brought me cash tonight for the LARGE price increase I would have to have, I wouldn't have time to order the cake dummy or extra supports. I am standing by my original structure, I'm just trying to get this through to her without her bad-mouthing me in the end.
Hope this makes sense, I'm all fired up and can't sleep!!

cblupe Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 5:28am
post #21 of 28

Jessica, you have the experience and know how your cakes are structured, I would have to say you need to do it your way so that you know they will be safe. I don't think the planner has actually built a wedding cake so what does she know. Stick to your guns and go with your gut experience.

Can you attach a picture of the cake and the 'boards' when all is done?

Carol

MrsSoul Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 6:02am
post #22 of 28

she should trust that you know what you are doing after you name is on the line with this order, wedding cakes are our bread and butter. give her the spatula and tell her to do it herself or just shut it.

KSMill Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 6:02am
post #23 of 28

Have you had any feedback from the bride that questions what you are doing? Obviously the planner doesn't know since she's asking other decorators and who knows what information she's leaving out. The bottom line is that you know how to accomplish what's spelled out in your contract with the bride.

cylstrial Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 1:46pm
post #24 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakesbycathy

"I appreciate your input. I am confident that the bride will be happy with the cake."






I think that sounds like a good thing to say!

Kitagrl Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 2:17pm
post #25 of 28

Since when do planners pay vendors? I thought their job was just to assist the bride in finding the perfect vendors so she doesn't have to go through the hassle of trying 25 different ones?

Sounds like a planner you don't want to make a habit of working with! Yikes.

chefjess819 Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 3:18pm
post #26 of 28

personally, i thought that planners were there to assist the bride in getting things together for her wedding. like...helping her find the right florist, or cake decorator, and venues. if (i could afford haha) i had a planner, i would go to every place with them, just to make sure that things are going MY way..not theirs. i would have the final say so and i would want to pay each person myself so i could keep a record. i'm way too orginizational for my own good, but i've never had anyone try to dupe me outta money either. if i were you, i would get this wedding over with and put this chick on the *caution! do not work with crazies* list. icon_lol.gif

Jessica1817 Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 3:50pm
post #27 of 28

Thanks so much for everyone's comments and input. I composed an email I will send tonight; don't know why but I don't want her thinking I'm spending my Sunday (aka family time) worrying about this. I really want to tell her if she values the other decorators' opinions more than mine than let them make the cake and kiss my tail, but she would totally bad-mouth me to brides and other vendors. Like all us I'm sure, I'm just trying to stay professional but firm--I'll let you know how she takes my message
thumbs_up.gif

indydebi Posted 1 Nov 2009 , 4:56pm
post #28 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessica1817

I really want to tell her if she values the other decorators' opinions more than mine than let them make the cake and kiss my tail, but she would totally bad-mouth me to brides and other vendors.




But, Jessica, it works the other way, too. It doesn't take long for word of a PITA and a BAD planner to hit the circuit, either.

There is a vendor in our area that I'm finding out NO other vendor wants to work with, refer, or even say a kind word about. While we all refrain from "mentioning names" (being professional), we all know who it is.

Sometimes a vendor doens't need to be "bad-mouthed". Their reputation preceeds them.

It's a 2-way street. Good or bad, it's a 2-way street. thumbs_up.gif

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