Frick! Frick! Frick! Stupid Cancer...

Lounge By jonahsmom Updated 1 Jan 2010 , 1:46am by kjt

jonahsmom Posted 28 Oct 2009 , 10:50pm
post #1 of 104

3 yrs ago (Oct 19th) to be exact I was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer.

Well, I just had another follow up mammo today and they found a flippin' suspicious area in the same area as my first cancer and I need to go through a biopsy....again!!!!

Please pray to whomever you all pray to that I don't have to go through this all again! I just don't think I can do it again!!!!! Last time I had radiation, chemo and a year of herceptin treatments. I know radiation isn't even an option this time around.

I'm trying to stay positive.....I'm baking cookies and cake tonight....cake therapy!!!

103 replies
costumeczar Posted 28 Oct 2009 , 11:14pm
post #2 of 104

I'm so sorry...I hope everything goes well and the biopsy is negative. Fingers crossed!

KitchenKat Posted 28 Oct 2009 , 11:19pm
post #3 of 104

praying for you. stay positive!

SJ169 Posted 28 Oct 2009 , 11:40pm
post #4 of 104

I'm so sorry to hear this! My prayers are with you! Stay positive i truly believe that if you stay positive, things will turn out for the best. I just had two friends recover from cancer, and i know its hard to always stay positive but you can do it icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

Deb_ Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 12:06am
post #5 of 104

I agree, stay as positive as you could be scar tissue from the last surgery.

Of course I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers....please keep us updated.


prterrell Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 12:09am
post #6 of 104

I will keep you in my prayers, jonahsmom.

kaseynh Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 12:18am
post #7 of 104

I'm so sorry for your news. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

paulstonia Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 12:24am
post #8 of 104

I'll be praying also.

jonahsmom Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 1:28am
post #9 of 104

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!

And I know staying positive is super important. I know it helped me the first time. It's just trying to get over the initial shock that it could be back! (and the fear that it could have spread elsewhere - that's the big one!)

Last year, they ended up taking extra views and decided it was just scar tissue, so I'm hoping there's not something there that looks soooooo much different from last year. Maybe it's a new radiologist that's reading it or something?! That must be it....somebody who just doesn't trust how it was read last year....yeah....that's the ticket......

I started going to the gym again on Monday and totally wrecked it tonight with my "poor me" eating of too many chocolate chip cookies and pizza. I feel like a cow!!!! Definitely going to the gym's not gonna help anything if it is a recurrence if start out eating poorly. I gained a bunch of weight last time and finally got it all back off icon_sad.gif

beanbean Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 1:29am
post #10 of 104

Keeping you in my thoughts. I hope all goes well with the biopsy and that this is a false alarm. Regardless, I'm so sorry for the fear that must be in your heart right now.

-K8memphis Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 2:08am
post #11 of 104

Praying for you, Cake Buddy.

Y'know it could be misread I hope I hope I hope I hope.

They thought my husband was dying one time ~ scared the sh*t out of me/us--but he had had histoplasmosis as a child & his lungs looked like mincemeat from scar tissue. This showed in an x-ray from a bicycle wreck. They never even asked his history.

I've never faced cancer so I don't know what it's like. But I have a favorite little saying that I'd like to share~~

The only way to see the rainbow is to look through the rain.

TakeCare, Cake Buddy

tatorchip Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 2:14am
post #12 of 104

my prayers are with you

Texas_Rose Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 2:21am
post #13 of 104

I'll be praying for you...hopefully this is just a false alarm. When are you having the biopsy?

jonahsmom Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 2:31am
post #14 of 104

The surgeon's office was closed by the time I talked with my gen doc about getting the biopsy done. I have to call the women's center first thing tomorrow morning to talk to them. I'm not sure if the women's center will be able to do the biopsy like they did the first time since I've had reconstruction (silicone) done. It's under the muscle, but I'm terrified they'll puncture it, so I'm not sure if it needs to be done by the surgeon or what. And my gen doc had no idea so she was going to check with the surgeon tomorrow.

I suppose I should have called my oncologist to see what he thought. Maybe I will tomorrow....

Anyone have any ideas on a biopsy with silicone implants in place? If it ends up being cancer they'll probably have to go anyway icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif but if it's not....and they puncture one I'll be PISSED!!!!! (I mean happy because it's not cancer....but you know!!!!)

dailey Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 3:11am
post #15 of 104

i will definitely keep you in my prayers everyday and wish you nothing but the best of luck!!

Texas_Rose Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 3:15am
post #16 of 104

I've heard that they use ultrasound to avoid the implants. I'm sure it's an issue your surgeon will have dealt with in the past.

Mensch Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 4:28am
post #17 of 104

I'm thinking of you.

grandmom Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 9:17am
post #18 of 104

Thinking of you. Stay positive!! A good friend of mine has beaten lung cancer three times, and we all attribute it to her strong will and spirit. Praying it's a false alarm...

Eliza Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 9:58am
post #19 of 104


Bluehue Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 10:25am
post #20 of 104

As a woman who has travelled that road - and then 8 years later had to travel it again............. i sincerly hope that all test results come back in your favour.

Just the thought of it must leave you numb - icon_sad.gif
It did me.
I consoled myself with the thoughts that - perhaps this has been sent to *try* me again because someone else might not be able to caryy it on their shoulders.
Actually, it was my Mother who said that to me -

Thinking of you and will ask Mother Nature to watch over you .......

Wish there was a little icon showing a bunch of flowers- because i would give it to you to brighten you day.

Bluehue icon_sad.gif

Loucinda Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 12:37pm
post #21 of 104

Keeping you in my prayers - and BlueHue, you are an inspiration. {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to both of you.

FullHouse Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 12:55pm
post #22 of 104

Keeping you in my prayers. And do go to the gym or for a long walk, I know when something is bothering me my first instinct is to eat and stay home but when I actually force myself to get outside or to excercise I find that is the best stress reliever.

mightydragon663 Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 3:27pm
post #23 of 104

You are in my prayers too.

jonahsmom Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 4:15pm
post #24 of 104

Okay - just got off the phone with my doctor.

I have a consult tomorrow with the surgeon. I asked her what the report said as far as scar tissue - and could it just be scar tissue like they thought last year?

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it is. She read the notes to me (this is what I heard!) -

groupings of linear branching...blah, blah, blah.....consistent with the findings...blah, blah, blah.....consistent with the findings of the 2006 mammogram. (That's when I was first diagnosed).

So, it's not looking great at this point and I will probably have more baldy pictures to share after another batch of surgery and chemo. Tomorrow at 1:00 is my consult with the surgeon who did my first lumpectomy. Unfortunately, I know I can't have another lumpectomy and will now have to have a full mastectomy (wish I would've done that the first time...) First on my list of questions is mastectomy and immediate recon....I'm sure theyc an do something! I already know how chemo works...I already know no radiation this time.....any other questions I should ask?

ShelleyMJ Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 4:47pm
post #25 of 104

You are in my prayers.

be123 Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 5:09pm
post #26 of 104

So sorry to hear that you are facing this again.
I had breast cancer in 2005. Many people prayed for me
and I give God all the glory for my healing. You are in my
prayers. Speak healing to your body and take care.

Bluehue Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 5:10pm
post #27 of 104

Baldy patches -
Mine just stayed behind on the pillow every morning when i got up and i was sure there was going to be enough to knit myself a hairy coat for the next winter - icon_wink.gificon_lol.gif

In the end i just went and had it all shaved off -
Yeah i cried on the way home but the next day i thought "hey, not bad bluehue - you could start a new trend amongst your friends"

Didn't catch on tho - icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gif

If you think you might only take in half of what you are being told - ask your Dr/Surgeon for a copy of the report - i did - and when i got home i sat and read it .............................with a small brandy.

Oh dear - i am so sorry that you are travelling this path - truely i am.

You will be in my thoughts and i will look for your next post.

Again i will ask Mother Nature to watch over and carry you through this.
She is amazing you know - and she is woman, just like us - capable of great things....just look out your window and see what she can do -

You can survive this - tell yourself that everyday - don't give up - and never never gjive in -

Fight it like you have never fought before - i did - i never let my mind take me to a sad place - and as hard as it is - this time you have to be stronger in both mind and body....because you know what lays ahead.

I'm 55 soon and i look out my window/door every day and think -


usaribbon.gif..... for you.

Bluehue icon_smile.gif

aquamom Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 5:28pm
post #28 of 104

Call your family friends...let them know you need them now. Keep the CC comunity posted as well. Be gentle to yourself. You will get through this. You are a very strong person.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

jonahsmom Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 6:44pm
post #29 of 104

Just went to the gym over my lunch hour. Feel great!!!!

If it's gonna's gonna happen.

So...I'm gonna do what I did last time and kick cancer's wiley little ass!!!!!

I called my plastic surgeon and have an appointment with a breast surgeon they work with for immediate recon with mastectomy next Thursday. I'm going to keep my appt. for tomorrow with the local surgeon if only to schedule a biopsy next week (hopefully!). Then maybe we'll have the results before my plastic surgery appointment Thursday and we'll know without a doubt (even though we have very little doubt right now) that it definitely is back.

But, I do feel great after my workout. I beat cancer before and I can do it again. My oncologist did tell my grandma (at HER cancer appt.) that I have the best attitude of anyone they've ever treated. So, who am I to disappoint?!

Thanks everyone for your encouragement! I'm sure I'll have tough days ahead, like before, but as long as I can see a LONG LONG LONG future ahead of me, I won't let it get me down for long!!!!!

I might have to take a cake break though! icon_cry.gificon_cry.gif

Edited to add: I only have a consult next Thursday - NOT the actual surgery. That was kind of muddy, huh?!

tigerhawk83 Posted 29 Oct 2009 , 7:33pm
post #30 of 104

Keep us posted - I am a cancer physician and have seen this before. Local recurrence does NOT have to impact survival. So if it is just the breast and the rest of you is OK - you can again do well and may not need more chemo, etc.

Quote by @%username% on %date%