Unbelievable! (Another Family Vent)

Lounge By CakesByJen2 Updated 27 Oct 2009 , 5:03am by prterrell

CakesByJen2 Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:20am
post #1 of 8

My nearly 40-year old brother is mad at my 14-year old daughter for not having a birthday party and inviting him!

Background: my younger brother has always been incredibly emotionally immature. He's not developmentally delayed or anything like that, he just has the self-centered, immature emotional mentality of about a 6 year old. I mean, he fights with the kids over their toys! icon_eek.gif

My daughter's birthday was today, but things are so crazy for us and her friends this time of year, with sports, tons of homework, Halloween, etc., she decided there really wasn't going to be a good time anywhere close to her b'day to have a party. So we were just going to have the relatives over on Sunday for cake, and that's it, no big deal. Well, I started getting sick on Saturday, so we decided not to even do that, since I was afraid it might be the flu & didn't want to expose everyone. I had already started the cake, so I finished it and we had just among the immediate family.

I sent a pic of the cake to my sister and she posted it on her Facebook page, and our brother made a slightly snide comment about not giving dd her present since she didn't do anything to celebrate her b'day, and then made a similar comment on dd's Facebook page, which I deleted. So it seems like he's mad at her for not inviting him to a party that she didn't have. And he doesn't even like cake, anyway! icon_evil.gif

It's just so ridiculous!

7 replies
prterrell Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:23am
post #2 of 8

See, now, that skeeves me out. Please don't get mad, but it sounds to me like he's got a touch of American Beauty syndrome going on here...or maybe he's just a 40 yo brat. I'm guessing (hoping) he doesn't have kids.

CakeDiva73 Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:34am
post #3 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by prterrell

See, now, that skeeves me out. Please don't get mad, but it sounds to me like he's got a touch of American Beauty syndrome going on here...or maybe he's just a 40 yo brat. I'm guessing (hoping) he doesn't have kids.




What's American Beauty syndrome? You mean the grown man wanting to hang with the kids?

Texas_Rose Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:40am
post #4 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeDiva73

Quote:
Originally Posted by prterrell

See, now, that skeeves me out. Please don't get mad, but it sounds to me like he's got a touch of American Beauty syndrome going on here...or maybe he's just a 40 yo brat. I'm guessing (hoping) he doesn't have kids.



What's American Beauty syndrome? You mean the grown man wanting to hang with the kids?




I'm guessing she means the way the man in the movie fell in love with a teenager.

But "an American Beauty" is slang for something else too.

CakesByJen2 Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:43am
post #5 of 8

No, no; nothing like that! He's just really, really, really immature. He just never grew up, for example he still gets all excited about Christmas presents and stuff like that like my young son, and he's overly sensitive to being left out of things. I could see if we had had the family get together and forgot to tell him about it, that he'd be offended, but we didn't do anything. He's single, was married very briefly in his early 20's, no kids and not many close friends; the family is just about all he has and my mother still treats him like a child.

My other brother is the opposite, thinks he's too good for us and never has time for family stuff, would rather hang out with his old college buddies, can't even bother to return phone calls or e-mails.

Texas_Rose Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:46am
post #6 of 8

If he's the youngest in the family, sometimes they just don't grow up as much as the rest of us do icon_biggrin.gif

My youngest sister still has temper tantrums and she's a grad student.

It sounds like he's just lonely.

CakesByJen2 Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 3:56am
post #7 of 8

Texas Rose, that's pretty much it. Though he's not the youngest, he's the second of 4 (I'm the oldest), but he is very immature anyway. I blame it on my parents, my dad was really hard on him, verbally abusive, and my mother was too weak to stop it and instead tried to make up for it by going to the opposite extreme and being overly permissive and baby-ing him. So he's really screwed up.

I think he just looks forward to the holidays and birthday get togethers with a child-like anticipation and got upset like a disapointed 2-year old when we ended up not doing anything. I just don't get why he blames my daughter, when it wasn't up to her to plan anything. I'm the one who got sick and decided not to invite anyone over (which I had told him).

I'm just really annoyed that he can't just pull himself together and grow up, and that he would post something snippy on her FB page like that...

prterrell Posted 27 Oct 2009 , 5:03am
post #8 of 8

Okay. Yeah, I was concerned about him maybe being attracted to the young girls, but was trying to phrase it unoffensively...

Based on the additional info, I feel bad for the guy. Sounds like he needs to be in therapy. If your childhood was that volitale, you can't just pull yourself together, you need professional help to show you how and to help you come to terms with the demons from the past. That doesn't excuse his behavior, though.

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