Are You Guys Bored Hearing About My Cafe Drama Yet? Long :-(

Business By CakeDiva73 Updated 25 Oct 2009 , 7:15pm by favrtdtr

CakeDiva73 Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 1:54am
post #1 of 38

Well, if nothing else, it's entertainment to see what a hot mess this whole thing has turned into. I will summarize from where I left off: after we had our run in last Friday where I told her I thought I should just rent instead of trying to sell or advertise my stuff at her cafe, I was sched. to work Tues - Thursday this week.

I go in Tuesday, my stuff is taken down (display cake, business cards, etc) - okay, no prob since I planned on pulling them anyway. Cafe lady says she didn't think I would show, I told her I was scheduled, etc. She says we need to talk, I agree. She doesn't like all the drama, etc. points our that she called her ins company and I need to carry my own insurance, that she checked around and is giving me a "great" deal, etc. I tell her I will happily carry my own policy and that I wanted the two businesses sep. I don't want to advertise or sell from her cafe - merely to rent kitchen time and I will advertise my business myself.

She wants someone to do the baking, I told her I could bake in lieu of rent, a set amount of items if that is what she preferred. (Providing they were kept fresh, etc.) she said she never thought of this.....asked if I would still work (for free)? I told her it would depend on how much I am baking, because, to be honest, if she only wants a dozen cupcakes a week, I WOULD work 6 hrs a week for the "rent". At least that's what I was thinking at the time.....

Ok, so customer comes in, I go to work. Wait tables, dishes, etc. I am the perfect freaking employee. Thing die out about 30 minutes before I am sched to leave. She tells me I can leave, I say ok, get my stuff and ask if I should still plan on working Wed & Thurs as sched. She then tells me she will let me know.....'What', I ask? She will call me to let me know.

I am floored,I mean, who the hell does this. I want to take my crap and tell her don't bother but decide to play it cool (read: doormat) so I simply take my display cake, bus cards and say ok....... No call. No call that day, night, the next day, night, etc...

So I cancel the potential cake I had for the weekend (they came to me thru Craigs List but came to the cafe to ask some questions. I cancel for fear she will turn me in. Still in the last minute order process, no money accepted yet - just in case she was trying to trap me).

So I have heard nothing and assume this is her passive-aggresive 'I am afraid of confrontation' way of telling me to get lost, I pursue new avenues (no luck tho). I come home from taking daughter to dance tonight - Friday (omg, save me from the 3 teenage girls I have on the horizon - I am not strong enough) to see that cafe lady has called 3 times and left one message, asking me to call.

I decide not to call back, figure what is the rush? I have enough drama with my kids this weekend. I check my email, there is a 'contact from via Vista Print" from my website and here it is:

Crestine, im trying to get in touch with you. but i guess you blocked me out. and your playing with my email. you need to contuct me. I dont play games. catrhy

I fricking KID YOU NOT! So after talking with the hub, I decide to call her back. She will probably just hound me all damn weekend, might as well take care of it now.

I call her back to tell her that I do NOT carry my cell 24/7 and 3 calls and an email withing 30 minutes does not qualify as me 'playing games'. She says she can't get into her email acct (One of the MANY things I did for her - created new business email and uploaded customer info so she can send them 'specials') I tell her I didn't touch them, she says its funny she could access them yesterday but not today.

I walk her thru the process (omg, what the hell is wrong with me??) of retrieving her lost password. (She is computer illiterate.) I tell her AGAIN I didn't touch her damn email and try to end the convo. She says she would still like to meet to talk about terms, its up to me.......

I am frigging dumbfounded. All this, you accuse me of tampering with your email and then when it's clear I didn't do it, lets go back to the drawing board????? I am taken aback. I just say 'Ok, thanks....." and hang up.

What in the name of God. I know you are all going to say "Run Forest, Ruuuuuuuun" but I felt the need to share.

this is my life.

37 replies
CakeDiva73 Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 1:56am
post #2 of 38

Oh, and on top of that, go to my website and click HOLIDAY to see the yummy flyers that I ordered and can now not even use....... at least I didn't date them so I can use them next year.

-K8memphis Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 2:03am
post #3 of 38

Omg--are you gonna still try & work with this chick?

So sorry about the drama.

I love your flyers! So festive. sigh

Uniqueask Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 2:16am
post #4 of 38

I think you are caught between a rock and a hard place.
I know exactly where you are coming from.
I have been looking for a place to rent for a while, as it is hard where I live to rent from a commercial kitchen.
and finally got approved from my code enforcement to bake cakes from home, and HD told me to talk to dept of agriculture, and what permit to ask for.

Best of luck to you.

I am PMing you with a question.

minicuppie Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 2:39am
post #5 of 38

Cut her loose. She is obviously a sick, sick woman and gets hers kicks out of making others miserable. (and you are feeding right into it). As you are running away sing "Free Bird"...loudly.

playingwithsugar Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 2:44am
post #6 of 38

I have to tell you to run, not walk, away from this deal. When someone starts accusing you of things like this, it's just not worth the stress.

I worked for an attorney for a week, M-F. He was miserable to me, and accused me of stealing his keys. I found out that he did the same thing to the secretary I replaced. It's just not worth the stress we can read in your words.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

mommicakes Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 2:49am
post #7 of 38

Cut her loose!!! It really doesn't look like it will get much better!!

If it were me, I would pack up and drive on. I'm sure you will find something else pretty fast.

It isn't worth all the bs that is sure to be coming down the pike.

I am sending you good luck ju-ju's.

Peridot Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 2:51am
post #8 of 38

No, I am not tired of hearing about it - I find it very interesting. I just wish that you would be in a position to tell this "Cafe Lady" to take a hike and let her sit there with her cafe and whatever she has going.

She sounds a little unstable to me. What will she accuse you of next - stealing from her? I would not put it past her to report you like you said. She is bad news and it is a shame that she gets to call the shots. If she doesn't want to but stuff in writing then I think you need to get out and suffer the loss before it costs you more than you bargined for - be careful!!!

I looked at your cakes and cookies they are wonderful!!

Mensch Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 2:53am
post #9 of 38

You need to get out of this situation! She is so totally passive-aggressive and it is NOT a healthy environment. All indicators point to the fact that she is NOT going to change. Do you really want to put up with these games?

G_Cakes Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 2:55am
post #10 of 38

ok since no one has posted it yet, let me be the first in this thread.....

RUN Forest RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dont look back, dont feel bad or loose sleep, sounds like she needs you more that you need her!

Past behavior is a pretty good indicator for future behaviour...I doubt she will change and she has gotten away with things this far so why not push a little more right?

Get out of there! Your better than that and deserve to be treated as just that!

Sorry for all the drama you are going through, but you need to take control of the situation and get the heck out of dodge!

ksmith1012 Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 3:09am
post #11 of 38

Run Forest, RUN! hehe. seriously- you need to get the heck out of there. It is not worth the stress. When something like this starts invading on your personal life, you need to stop it. Don't let her have that kind of power over you. You need to have the confidence in yourself to move on and be willing to set out and find where you are really meant to be.

Amylou Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 3:34am
post #12 of 38

If you haven't already...go and get all your stuff! Then leave...and don't let the door hit ya' where the good Lord split ya'!

Do you really want to do this song and dance every week? I think that too much has happened now to have a tense-free work environment there.

I hope you do find a place that allows you to do your cakes. Then she'll wish she didn't go bat-shhhh crazy on you!

cakesweetiecake Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 5:45am
post #13 of 38

The writing is on the wall. Even if you talk, who's to say this drama wont continue. I definitely understand your need for a commercial kitchen. I am in the same position in my state. However, all of these red flags would have me running for the hills. It's just way too much. Can you get comfortable taking orders not knowing what drama may come with her? It just doesnt sound worth it. I'd rather cut my losses now than for things to get alot worse.

SugarFiend Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 11:21am
post #14 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeDiva73



and your playing with my email. you need to contuct me. I dont play games. catrhy




OMG what is this? Sounds like a lame attempt at Jedi Mind Control!

I agree with so many other posters. She sounds unstable, seems to need you much more than you need her, and she CLEARLY has some control issues! Your cakes and cookies are awesome and I'm praying you can get the heck out of there and do your own thing.

costumeczar Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 1:09pm
post #15 of 38

Okay, I say this with only the intentions of trying to be helpful, but I'm going to be a little more direct than everyone else, and ask WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? I understand that you want to use the space to bake legally, but this woman isn't passive aggressive, she's aggressive, she's shown herself to be exactly what she is, you know what she is, and you're still dealing with her???

Tell her goodbye, don't look back, and move on. If you continue to deal with her you only have yourself to blame, and you deserve what you get.

Okay, scolding over, but really, you know what you're in for when you talk to her, so don't think that you'll get something different the next time.

enchantedcreations Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 1:26pm
post #16 of 38

Ditto what everyone else is saying, you should also document what you have and have not done (i.e. the posts here) she is accusing you of blocking her emails, what's next? She is not to be trusted. But you already know that since you cancelled your last cake order. Cancel your relationship with her too. Just my thoughts.

traceyjade Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 1:28pm
post #17 of 38

Definately don't go there, she will use this against you everytime she wants you to do something. She sounds unstable and will probably take all her stress out on you. You having no control over your own business and having to turn people away because of this sick women will not help make a good name for yourself. You do amazing work so keep on looking and you will figure something out. Good luck thumbs_up.gif

OfficerMorgan Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 5:13pm
post #18 of 38

Oh no no no no no no. You must stay as far away from her as you can-she is unstable. That whole playing games thing she said-she is beyond scary. Do not even speak to her again.

WykdGud Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 5:34pm
post #19 of 38

I must really have a unique mindset. I think that in the culinary industry, there is a lot of abuse that goes on in the kitchen (have you ever watched "Hell's Kitchen"?) I think this is an opportunity for you - an opportunity you might not find elsewhere, and you would be a fool to dismiss it so quickly. Sure, you might hate going to work everyday - but so do many other people. Sure, you might have to put up with a mean person - what's new?

I REALLY think you need to look at the big picture. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you can work out an arrangement that is suitable, I think you'd be better off staying and working on building your own business.

Just my opinion.

Amylou Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 6:15pm
post #20 of 38

This lady is accusing her of tampering with email!

Red flag of what's to come...

Uniqueask Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 7:29pm
post #21 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by WykdGud

I must really have a unique mindset. I think that in the culinary industry, there is a lot of abuse that goes on in the kitchen (have you ever watched "Hell's Kitchen"?) I think this is an opportunity for you - an opportunity you might not find elsewhere, and you would be a fool to dismiss it so quickly. Sure, you might hate going to work everyday - but so do many other people. Sure, you might have to put up with a mean person - what's new?

I REALLY think you need to look at the big picture. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you can work out an arrangement that is suitable, I think you'd be better off staying and working on building your own business.

Just my opinion.





This is not her first incident, there are lots more.

CakeMommyTX Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 7:48pm
post #22 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uniqueask

Quote:
Originally Posted by WykdGud

I must really have a unique mindset. I think that in the culinary industry, there is a lot of abuse that goes on in the kitchen (have you ever watched "Hell's Kitchen"?) I think this is an opportunity for you - an opportunity you might not find elsewhere, and you would be a fool to dismiss it so quickly. Sure, you might hate going to work everyday - but so do many other people. Sure, you might have to put up with a mean person - what's new?

I REALLY think you need to look at the big picture. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you can work out an arrangement that is suitable, I think you'd be better off staying and working on building your own business.

Just my opinion.






This is not her first incident, there are lots more.




Yes, this lady is nuts and this is not the first time she's pulled a Gary Busey.

CakeDiva73 Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 7:49pm
post #23 of 38

I know, she is nuts...the thing is, she wasn't like this in the beginning. Wish we had kept out original plan of me baking some stuff for her each week, she sold it, I did my own thing.

Now I don't even remember how it evolved. I was taken aback by the email accusation, but not totally shocked. She is entering her password in wrong, I can guarantee it.

I aniticipate more of the same......*sigh* Part of me wants to meet with her to get some additional guerilla negotiating experience (something I am sadly lacking) and the other part just wants to burn the bridge. There is also a small part that would like to make nice-nice for the next 2 months so I can utilize my flyers - then find a new place. Otherwise I am out of commision for the holidays this year....but at what cost, you know?

If I could just work down there 2 days a week, make my own stuff at night or on the weekends and sell it, then at least my holidays won't be a complete and total bust. However, as everyone has pointed out, history will probably repeat itself, lol.

Fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on me. icon_redface.gif

WykdGud Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 8:01pm
post #24 of 38

It seems that if she wants you to work there, you have at least a small amount of power. If you are unable, or unwilling to negotiate - then why not have an attorney draw something up? Hire a paralegal or law student to "represent" you in the negotations. Or maybe even just a friend or family who can be a bit firm. You might have more of a backbone with some emotional support, and she might be a little more fair so that she doesn't look like such a bitch in front of someone else.

I don't understand what all of this debate about it. The way I see it - you have two options:

1. Get it in writing with the most favorable terms possible and stick it out as long as you can while you build up your business.

2. Walk away and give up what may be your only option short of opening your own place.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Shelle_75 Posted 24 Oct 2009 , 8:34pm
post #25 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeMommyTX

Yes, this lady is nuts and this is not the first time she's pulled a Gary Busey.




LMAO Gary Busey!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

HarleyDee Posted 25 Oct 2009 , 2:07am
post #26 of 38

Ugh, I so wish this problem was resolved for you. That lady is just insane. The smart thing for you to do would be to run, but I can totally see where you're coming from about wanting to stick it out until after the holidays.

You're just gonna have to figure out at what cost can you do your holiday stuff? Like, is this heiffer gonna be on you and calling you and accusing you every single day until January 1? Or is there any possible way you can appease her by strictly paying her rent in money and not baked goods or time on the clock? Can you work when she's not open, like, when she's not there? That would be the only way I would stick it out. If I could A. pay her rent in money, and B. work when she wasn't around.

erinalicia Posted 25 Oct 2009 , 2:43am
post #27 of 38

This lady sounds completely off her rocker! If she wants to hire you to bake stuff for her cafe, I don't see why you can't trade with baking time in the kitchen during non business hours. But if this nut-job has done this before, she's not going to change.

No sense in making yourself miserable by putting up with this. I'd say good riddance and look for another kitchen to rent.

Best of luck to you.

Mensch Posted 25 Oct 2009 , 3:51am
post #28 of 38

Hell's Kitchen is a TV-show, not real life. I have an old friend who works with the director on that show so we get the inside scoop.

CakeDiva73 Posted 25 Oct 2009 , 4:06am
post #29 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mensch

Hell's Kitchen is a TV-show, not real life. I have an old friend who works with the director on that show so we get the inside scoop.




lmao. Point taken........

Mensch Posted 25 Oct 2009 , 4:12am
post #30 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by WykdGud

I must really have a unique mindset. I think that in the culinary industry, there is a lot of abuse that goes on in the kitchen (have you ever watched "Hell's Kitchen"?) ........




Sorry, but you're not unique. Many people think that TV is real.

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