Bride & Groom Not Involved In Cake Choice?

Business By kellertur Updated 8 Jul 2010 , 1:32am by dozenredroses

kellertur Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 5:57pm
post #1 of 23

I have a potential customer who is related to the bride and says she was asked to take care of the cake. The bride is NOT involved in this process at all... is this common? The relative is very stressed and trying to leave most design/color decisions up to me... I've gotten a little info, but before going forward I wanted to ask if this happens often.
The wedding is in one month.

She doesn't want a tasting, etc... so I thought I'd see what you all thought. I'm documenting everything so I don't later hear from an angry bride how I didn't "do what she wanted".

Thank you. icon_smile.gif

22 replies
prterrell Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 6:04pm
post #2 of 23

Cake may just not be that important to the bride. Some brides, the cake is almost an after-thought, they are much more concerned about their dress/hair/DJ or band/reception menu/etc. As hard as it is for us CC-ers to believe, some people just aren't that into cake! Find out what color the flowers and bridesmaids dresses are going to be and do a clean, classic, elegant cake.

Or, if you're that concerned, demand to speak to the bride OR even turn down the cake if you think it will end up being a nightmare.

tootie0809 Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 6:05pm
post #3 of 23

I'd say whoever is paying for the cake is the one who makes the decisions on it. If that happens to be a relative and the bride and groom are not paying for it and are not involved, then just work with whoever this relative is who is in charge of the cake. Just make sure that you make it clear to her that she is paying for it so you will only discuss the cake with her and if the bride doesn't like it after the fact, that she has no room for complaining.

As far as not having a lot of ideas for the cake, maybe ask her for one of the invitations, get the colors or flower choices they are using for the wedding, and go from there.

Good luck! icon_smile.gif

jdconcc Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 6:07pm
post #4 of 23

What kind of thing is she asking for and is she giving funny delivery terms? It might be a scam?

__Jamie__ Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 6:08pm
post #5 of 23

I've done a couple like that. They were both brides from out of town and local relatives set it up. I must say, the easiest two transactions ever. icon_smile.gif

__Jamie__ Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 6:11pm
post #6 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by kellertur

I'm documenting everything so I don't later hear from an angry bride how I didn't "do what she wanted".

Thank you. icon_smile.gif




Honestly, it ceases to be a cake for the bride then. It's just a cake that your client happens to be ordering for an event that happens to be a wedding. She could ask for black squiggle lines all along the side with neon green poo plops. If you produce this for her, case closed. Your business was with your client, who in this case, just ain't the bride.

tripleD Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 6:14pm
post #7 of 23

I making a wedding cake for friday evening. The mother of the goom is ordering it and paying for it.

This is her sons second marraige and for the bride also. They didn't want a big wedding about 50 people. They were not even having a cake until the mother in law said they needed one.

So she told me just to make whatever I wanted.. just use orange and green and hardly any flowers the girl is not roses and pearls more like daisies and dirt. plain plain.

She has had my cake many times and like what I do.

cakemaker30 Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 7:29pm
post #8 of 23

I'm delivering a wedding cake this Friday and I had strict instructions to not even give the bride and groom a hint about what it looked like. The MOB was ordering it and wanted to surprise them with what it looked like. As far as I'm concerned, the MOB is my client and if the B&G aren't happy they need to take it up with her.

littlecake Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 7:37pm
post #9 of 23

i once had someone email saying they needed a wedding cake for 100...make it pretty.

that was it.

the groom came and picked it up...she e mailed next week saying she loved it.

oh for more easy to please people!

cakeschmake Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 7:37pm
post #10 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakemaker30

I'm delivering a wedding cake this Friday and I had strict instructions to not even give the bride and groom a hint about what it looked like. The MOB was ordering it and wanted to surprise them with what it looked like. As far as I'm concerned, the MOB is my client and if the B&G aren't happy they need to take it up with her.




Keeping it a surprise, that sounds fun ! icon_smile.gif

Me, I am doing a cake and grooms cake next month and the bride's father is planning the entire wedding! Like the others said, he is my client and I am doing the cake as he wants it. If he wants to run the ideas by his daughter that's up to him.

CoutureCake Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 10:20pm
post #11 of 23

I did one like this... I'd say go for it... Ask the person who is paying what their budget is, how many it needs to feed, a paint color swatch of their wedding colors, copy of the invitation and a photo of the details on the bride's gown, if there is any specific details they want incorported in (i.e. they're using callas or carnations to decorate)... From there you can put a wedding cake together for the bride that isn't concerned about the details enough to have someone else order the cake who is nervous about having to take care of the detail. The thing is, those

This is your chance to have fun with a cake or do something you want to do but normally can't at the level of their budget.

I say go for it!!! thumbs_up.gif

indydebi Posted 15 Oct 2009 , 11:13pm
post #12 of 23

I met with a couple 2 days ago. bride and groom are in hawaii (military) and they got married a few months ago. they are coming home early next year and haveing a reception then. mom and dad are making all the arrangements.

costumeczar Posted 16 Oct 2009 , 12:14am
post #13 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by LURVELY

Quote:
Originally Posted by kellertur

I'm documenting everything so I don't later hear from an angry bride how I didn't "do what she wanted".

Thank you. icon_smile.gif



Honestly, it ceases to be a cake for the bride then. It's just a cake that your client happens to be ordering for an event that happens to be a wedding. She could ask for black squiggle lines all along the side with neon green poo plops. If you produce this for her, case closed. Your business was with your client, who in this case, just ain't the bride.




You got that right! Just get a contract filled out and signed,and you don't need to worry about it as long as you follow that.

kellertur Posted 16 Oct 2009 , 12:35am
post #14 of 23

I emailed the woman, and did finally get more info (fall colors, bridesmaid color, servings, etc).

My plan is "simple, elegant and colorful". She likes my idea of cascading some small sugar sunflowers over buttercream, with fall sugar flowers mixed in. She said the sugar flowers were "up to me"... what are examples of other fall flowers? I'm no florist.

What raised my eyebrow initially was being asked to "promise" to make a beautiful cake B & G would love. I can make a beautiful cake, but I can't get into their heads.

I'm emailing a contract for her to look over as soon a I generate a quote:

Servings X base price/serving... but how much do you charge per realistic sugar flower? And how many will I need to cascade down a 6,8,10" round?

Thank you again.

CakesByJen2 Posted 16 Oct 2009 , 1:22am
post #15 of 23

I have had a similar situations a couple of times, and though it made me a little uncomfortable, it worked out fine each time. One time it was a small (maybe 2nd?) wedding, the bride was out of the country and really didn't care about the specifics and left it to the caterer to get the cake, another was a "shotgun" wedding, put together with only a month's notice and a friend or relative of the bride ordered the cake. Then there was another older couple, 2nd wedding for each, just went to the justice of the peace and no reception, but a friend of the couple put together a small surprise party.

Just be sure the person you are dealing with is the one who signs the contract. Even though the cake may ultimately be for someone else, it is the person who signs the dotted line that is your customer and the one you have to please. As long is everything is documented and you provide what you're contracted for, then it's not your problem if the bride doesn't like it. She should order it herself if it matters.

HarleyDee Posted 17 Oct 2009 , 4:47am
post #16 of 23

I've got a cake on the books for next month, and the mother of the bride and mother of the groom decided all of it. The bride and groom are a state away, and neither of them really care what their cake is like. So they left it up to their mothers.

I'd say whoever is paying gets to make final decisions icon_smile.gif But documenting is a great idea.

IsaSW Posted 17 Oct 2009 , 8:26pm
post #17 of 23
Quote:
Quote:

i once had someone email saying they needed a wedding cake for 100...make it pretty.

that was it.




I am so glad I am reading this thread. If I had received this e-mail, I would have thought it was a scam.

Thanks for sharing.

kellertur Posted 17 Oct 2009 , 10:55pm
post #18 of 23

Thank you so very much for the info. Last night (after carefully amending my contract ~ Thanks Doug! icon_smile.gif ) I emailed her the contract to review and she will be mailing it back to me signed with a check on Tuesday (if all goes well).

I would have thought this a scam too, as I've gotten some nut-job phone calls & emails the last 2 months. (I guess people are bored?) icon_confused.gif

I emailed the contract to my FIL (lawyer/judge) for review. I'm going to have him sign it eventually...

Thank you again! icon_smile.gif

KHalstead Posted 7 Jul 2010 , 4:48pm
post #19 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakemaker30

I'm delivering a wedding cake this Friday and I had strict instructions to not even give the bride and groom a hint about what it looked like. The MOB was ordering it and wanted to surprise them with what it looked like. As far as I'm concerned, the MOB is my client and if the B&G aren't happy they need to take it up with her.




I had a wedding cake exactly like this, I did a tasting with the B&G and the aunt of the bride ordered and paid for the cake. The bride and groom were REALLY excited about what it would look like and couldn't wait to see it (the bride stood there while I was assembling, which I hate, but oh well...she was too excited) turned out they absolutely loved the cake and the bride was so shocked because she said she's never liked ONE outfit that her aunt has EVER worn and she was so scared at what her aunt would pick out lol. The bride was Indian and wore a sarai (sp?) and matched the cake beautifully! She was so ecstatic!! It was really kinda cool. The bride and groom picked the flavor and the aunt did the rest!

leah_s Posted 7 Jul 2010 , 5:07pm
post #20 of 23

[quote="__Jamie__"]I've done a couple like that. They were both brides from out of town and local relatives set it up. I must say, the easiest two transactions ever. icon_smile.gif[/quote]

ditto

Generally if that's the case, all works out quite well. it's basically a destination wedding. The bride flies in, puts on her gown and walks down the aisle, has a great party and flies out to her honeymoon. LOW stress for her.

cheatize Posted 7 Jul 2010 , 11:27pm
post #21 of 23

I was the aunt of the bride and I considered myself the client. As in, "Here's the check. You got questions, you come to me. Anyone calls you, refer them to me."
It was a shotgun wedding in my backyard that I planned in one month. My niece went from, "I don't care what you do" to "I want this" quickly. I was having none of that stuff. I gave her what she wanted that I could give her. Crazy chicka was 6 months preggo, wanted me to make her a fitted dress, and didn't want anyone to notice she was pregnant. You can't have all those things at once. I blame it on pregnancy hormones. LOL
I didn't want the caker to have to put up with all that plus the family drama. I took my sister with me to the consultation, we chose a cake, I handed over a check. Easy-peasy.

kakeladi Posted 7 Jul 2010 , 11:46pm
post #22 of 23

I've had parents of the bride and once even 'sponsers' order.
One time I had a bride & mom come in; ordered; later mom came back in and insisted I add another 18" base tier because what daughter picked out 'just wasn't grand enough'!

dozenredroses Posted 8 Jul 2010 , 1:32am
post #23 of 23

When I got married 15 years ago, before I even considered making cakes, I did not put much thought into my wedding cake. I was going to go to the grocery store to order my cake icon_surprised.gif The sadthing is that my mother use to make wedding cakes from our home while I was growing up! I seen her make countless beautiful wedding cakes as a child and still did not put much thought into my cake. Needless to say my mother said NO to the grocery store and found me a local home baker who made my cake. They came up with the design. It was pretty.

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