Bride Wants Me To Do Groom's Cake But Not

Business By diane706 Updated 14 Oct 2009 , 10:13pm by Kitagrl

diane706 Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 4:46am
post #1 of 44

the wedding cake. She says my price is out of her budget. But for the groom's cake, she can't find anybody else "with my expertise in 3D cakes". (her fiance is a paramedic, so they want me to do an ambulance.)

What do you guys think? Would you mind if someone asked you to do this? This isn't the first time this has happened to me either. My groom's cake sat next to a VERY cheesy looking wedding cake at one wedding. Hope the guests didn't think I did both! icon_wink.gif

43 replies
LaBellaFlor Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 5:11am
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And there you said it. I don't want my cake to be next to a tacky cake. I'm also concerned about quality control. It is in my comtract my cake is the only one allowed at the reception, if there is another cake discovered on site, contract cancelled with no monies refunded. I know, harsh, but you have to maintain your reputation. Some people have done the groom's cake without any problems, but that is a personal business decision. And yeah, the guest probably did think you did both! icon_razz.gif

CakeDiva73 Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 5:19am
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That's a tough one..... I also would not want my work mistaken for someone else's. It also tricky if the bride want to cut up grocery store cakes from the back. Lots of people refuse to do the cake unless they provide it all, not even other desserts.

Others just want it specified. I think it's really complicated - honestly, if I needed the money, I would do the 3D cake.

But it would be great if people had creative ways of making it clear you don't want your rocking cake mistaken for the other..... you know, tact. icon_smile.gif Sometimes it eludes me...... *sigh*

Cakechick123 Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 8:40am
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I think you answered your own question in the last two sentences icon_lol.gif

We dont to grooms cakes in SA, but if it was me I wouldnt do it for exactly that reason! JMO

zdebssweetsj Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 9:58am
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Good luck, I don't do grooms cake with out the brides cake, they tend to be way to much work. Yes, I've also had a rocking grooms cake next to grandmas leaning disaster. Tacky! The grooms cake in my opinion should not steal the show.

online_annie Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 10:34am
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I think most would agree that we wouldn't want our cakes confused with the work of another. There is a reason she can't find anyone with your skill in 3D...I say it's both cakes or nothing. You may need to walk away from this one. Value your work and your reputation.

costumeczar Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 10:43am
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I only do groom's cakes without the wedding cake IF it's for a rehearsal, not the reception, and IF I deliver it to the venue (no having some sneaky bride picking it up to save for later.)

I did deliver a cool groom's cake once and had it sit next to the ugliest wedding cake ever, made by someone else. The bridesmaids were asking me if I could fix it, but there was no way. Thus, the new policy was put into place.

pieceacake830 Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 11:51am
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You know, this is really good food for thought.

I was just asked last weekend to do a grooms cake for a wedding in 2010, but the bride to be told me that the venue provides the wedding cake, and would only take off $1 per person if she were to get the cake elsewhere. I hadnt even considered the points brought up here. I will definately be explaining this if she does call me. Thanks everyone!


countrycakes Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 12:00pm
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thumbs_up.gif I do the exact same as costumeczar and for exactly the same reasons.

jonahsmom Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 1:01pm
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A gal I used to work with asked me the other day if I would do a dummy cake (with real top tier for cutting) for her wedding next year because her future husband's aunt wants to make sheet cakes as her gift.

I want to help her out, but I don't know this other person! For all I know, it could be one of you and the cake will be superb!!! But it could also be some scary person who smokes or something while she's mixing up a cake and then people will think that I did that!!!!

I told her to give me a call and we'd talk about it, but I'm leaning toward "no" because I'm just really getting started and making a name for myself. I don't want to wreck it that way!!!!

cakesbycathy Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 1:02pm
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I would turn it down.

I am like many other posters, I provide all the cake or none of it.

sweetartbakery Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 1:12pm
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Hm, with out reading our posts I would have said to do it. I specialize in grooms cakes and take them all the time on their own (a lot of venues here provide the cake). BUT I never though about how my name would be associated with a bad wedding cake. How did I not see this??? SO I would turn it down based on that, and I will now have a re-write in my contract for this. costumeczar is really smart to do the groom's cake, but not at the wedding. this a good compromise. I do a lot of rehersal groom's cakes anyway. boy, so glad i opened up this post!

neecakes Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 1:23pm
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Very interesting. I didn't have this issue for my wedding in Virginia. My rehearsal dinner and groom's cake came from an amazing lady in New York, where I lived. It was impractical for her to the wedding cake so that came from a place in Maryland. That was a great cake too. The Maryland baker didn't place any restrictions on me about any other cakes. But I guess that's something to think about.

kjskid Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 1:58pm
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All your cakes are beautiful! I say you should do both or neither.

MissRobin Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 1:59pm
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I found myself in this same situation last year. The groom's mother was my cousin and they wanted me to do the wedding cake and the groom's cake. Well, the MOB contacted me via email after I quoted the price of the wedding cake and very passive agressively put me down and my ability to do cake. Basically told me my price was too high for my quality of work. My cousin was paying for the groom's cake and so being the nice realative that I am, I went ahead and did the groom's cake for her and her son. The wedding cake was a disaster, obviously the cake decorator was very inexperienced and there sat my cake next to it. I honestly didn't worry about people thinking it was me who made the wedding cake. I was proud of my cake and the MOB had to deal with the disaster of a wedding cake. She was also seen going back for seconds on my cake. I will say, I will never do that again, so after this long drawn out story, my answer would be no!

diane706 Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 2:05pm
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Originally Posted by CakeDiva73

honestly, if I needed the money, I would do the 3D cake.

And therein lies the problem. I really do need this cake. You know how it goes... the kids get hungry every now and then! icon_lol.gif


I only do groom's cakes without the wedding cake IF it's for a rehearsal, not the reception, and IF I deliver it to the venue (no having some sneaky bride picking it up to save for later.)

Great idea! I've actually never done a rehearsal cake icon_redface.gif Does it usually take place a week or so before the wedding or the day before? I've only been in one wedding and that was years ago.

Thanks for all your responses everyone. I was afraid I was being a little snobby. LOL

Win Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 2:25pm
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One of the episodes of Amazing Wedding Cakes featured Reva and Mark doing a stadium cake for the groom as a gift from the bride. I noticed Reva stated that the wedding cake was being supplied by someone else. I'm not sure I see the conflict. I'd just place my name next to my groom's cake and not care a whit about comparisons. If you think about it, people are going to figure it out if the two cakes are entirely different in execution and workmanship... but it's a lot to assume the other cake is automatically inferior as implied in previous posts.

Lenette Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 2:29pm
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I can understand concerns on this. I have done groom's cakes without doing the wedding cake. Mainly, like you said I needed the money and whoever was doing the bride's cake didn't do anything carved or real fancy

If you need the money, you need the money. Do it and don't worry about it. I agree that folks will figure it out. Good luck with your decision, I know it can be hard. icon_smile.gif

littlecake Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 2:58pm
post #19 of 44

if you need the the cake, they can tell the difference.

i make grooms cakes with no wedding cake all the time.....believe me, they can tell the difference, i've had guests come in and tell me they gobbled up all the grooms cake and barely touched the wedding cake.

it hasn't hurt my business one bit.

i'm in it for the $$$$$$, i've seen some pics of the wedding cakes my grooms cakes have set next to, you can tell very easily they weren't made by the same person.

i worked for a kinda fancy bakery for a short while, they didn't demand you buy all the cakes from them.....i guess this idea seems odd to me.

duff does just the grooms cake sometimes doesn't he?

llbesq Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 3:11pm
post #20 of 44

My step-daughter was married earlier this year and the reception venue required them to purchase their wedding cake as part of a package, although she wanted me to do the wedding cake. She asked me if I would do a groom's cake with a Chicago Bears theme for her husband. I told her I would but only if the venue was okay with the plan. They were and I did the groom's cake. Everyone raved about the groom's cake and considered the wedding cake barely edible. It was a small wedding so everyone knew I did not do the wedding cake and my step-daughter asked me to say something at the reception to "present" the groom's cake to her husband. I don't know that I would do this for anyone else because of all the issues raised by previous entries.

cakemaker30 Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 3:29pm
post #21 of 44

I have something in my contract that states that all cakes must be made by me, unless agreed upon beforehand. With that being said, I put that in there mostly to keep brides from ordering a small cake from me and then having Wal-Mart sheet cakes in the back and trying to act like they served all the guests the same cake. I actually had someone try that on meicon_smile.gif If they come and say they want me to do a groom's cake and their getting the wedding cake somewhere else I would be ok with that. Everyone can see they are two different cakes and could potentially be from different places. I just try to avoid the hidden kitchen cakes from somewhere elseicon_smile.gif So I would do it.

cakesbycathy Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 3:33pm
post #22 of 44

I agree that if the wedding cake looks terrible and the groom's cake looks amazing, then yes, people will realize that two different people did the cakes.

BUT, what if the wedding cake looks fine or even stunning but TASTES terrible? Then will people still think there were 2 different bakers or will they think "Well, some of her cakes are delicious and some taste awful. I'm afraid to order in case we get a bad tasting cake."

Just something else to think about.

Misdawn Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 3:33pm
post #23 of 44

Personally, I think if you are fortunate enough that your financial situation will allow you to turn away cake orders then by all mean I would only do the groom's cake with the bride's cake. However, I know that I couldn't afford to turn away an order right now.

Now, if you did the cake and someone else did the bride's cake and placed them next to each other at the table, then (and I am in no way trying to be rude or snotty I know things can read differently on the computer than we intend them when typing) if you are confident that your cake skills are exceptional then it should be obvious that the cakes were made by two different people when placed next to each other. Just my two cents.

leah_s Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 3:40pm
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I not only have the "all or nothing" clause in my contract, I require that that clause be separately initialed to make sure the bride understand it.

Amylou Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 3:45pm
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I'm wondering, if one did a groom's cake and not the wedding cake, is it considered tacky to have a small placecard next to the groom's cake with "groom's cake designed by *** Cakes" ?

Wondering what the etiquette on this is...

patticakesnc Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 4:03pm
post #26 of 44

I have a wedding in April that I am doing the groom's cake but not the wedding cake.
I did ask her who was doing her wedding cake and she told me who was doing her wedding cake. They are about 10 times more expensive than I am. But the venue that she is using has an exclusive contract for that bakery to do the wedding cakes. I know she would have preferred to not pay their prices. Let's put it this way they charge $100 to deliver the cake within their own city. Not to mention $25 per flower placement charge. PER FLOWER!

saberger Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 4:09pm
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Amylou - I am with you on that. It COULD look nice to have an elegant card made specially for this kind of situation on a nice little pedestal or in a little frame.

costumeczar Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 4:13pm
post #28 of 44
Originally Posted by Amylou

I'm wondering, if one did a groom's cake and not the wedding cake, is it considered tacky to have a small placecard next to the groom's cake with "groom's cake designed by *** Cakes" ?

Wondering what the etiquette on this is...

I would never put any kind of advertising on a cake, I think it's "poor form," personally. Some people might, but I wouldn't.

I don't do the groom's cakes at the reception w/o the wedding cake not only so that my cakes aren't associated with any potential disaster wedding cake that might be there, but also so that other bakeries can't take the credit for making my groom's cake. It keeps it clear that I made it, not them.

I've had brides call and ask for the groom's cake without a wedding cake, and I tell them that I won't do that, but I'll do it for the rehearsal dinner (which usually takes place the night before the wedding, to answer another question that was asked). They're usually fine with that, so it hasn't been much of an issue for me losing business from that policy.

sunsecret Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 4:23pm
post #29 of 44

I made only the groom's cake for my DH's cousin. The 4 tier wedding cake looked amazing, but my cake was gone before even 1 layer of the other was. Walking around the reception, I heard many people ask each other about the groom's cake and receive answers of "Oh, ***'s cousin made it, the other was from some bakery." I even heard the Bride and Groom tell people the cakes were from two different places.

I had no problem doing it, I was proud of my cake and thrilled to be included in a wedding that was mainly "keeping up with the Jones'" and to be complemented so much on top of that!

diane706 Posted 14 Oct 2009 , 4:45pm
post #30 of 44
Originally Posted by costumeczar

I don't do the groom's cakes at the reception w/o the wedding cake not only so that my cakes aren't associated with any potential disaster wedding cake that might be there, but also so that other bakeries can't take the credit for making my groom's cake. It keeps it clear that I made it, not them.

These two concerns were exactly what I had in mind and motivated me to ask my original question. thumbs_up.gif

I really appreciate BOTH views on this issue. Thanks everyone! Now I have a few things to think about. But couldn't you guys have ALL just answered the same way so it would make my decision making easier?? icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif You guys know I'm kidding! Thanks again.
Happy Caking!

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