Wedding Present Or Paid For Cake?

Decorating By Sparklycake Updated 21 Oct 2009 , 9:16pm by Sparklycake

Sparklycake Posted 12 Oct 2009 , 10:53pm
post #1 of 7

My cousin is getting married in a couple of weeks and initially when she announced the big day, I offered to make her wedding cake. But her future mother in law (who I don't know at all) bakes and it seems she did all her other children's wedding cakes and naturally wanted to do her youngest son's cake also. So I bowed out to that.

A few weeks later, it turned out due to illness in the family, this lady decided that due to illness within the family perhaps she wouldn't have the time she would need to do the cake and told my cousin to ask me to do it and she would pay for the cake... now the dilemma!

The bride has picked a cake which on the market would cost anywhere from 500-700 in a cakeshop. But I couldn't and wouldn't feel comfortable charging that amount to my cousin's future MIL for my cousins' cake!!! So what do I do, she's insisting on paying for the cake.... I can't charge the market value and as I'm a guest at the wedding I have to buy a present.... normally I would give the cake as my gift and it wouldn't matter how elaborate the style picked... but now I feel like i'm underpricing my cake and still having to buy a present, so I kinda feel that I'm getting the raw end of the deal... what do you think

6 replies
__Jamie__ Posted 12 Oct 2009 , 10:58pm
post #2 of 7

At the least, charge for materials and donate the labor? I dunno. Add a bit more on to make it worth your while. I don't think anyone can really tell you what to do. And you feel obligated to also purchase a present, why?

Texas_Rose Posted 12 Oct 2009 , 11:06pm
post #3 of 7

Since you originally offered to make the cake, why don't you just tell your cousin again that you would like to make the cake as your gift to her. Suggest to the MIL that she add the money she would have paid for the cake to whatever she's giving the couple as their gift. That way you won't have to buy a gift, and you won't feel bad about not charging enough for the least assuming that the gift you would buy otherwise was as much as you would spend on the cake.

blessedist Posted 12 Oct 2009 , 11:06pm
post #4 of 7

I'd probably make her pay for supplies and donate my time (depending on how close we were and my schedule)....but now every family member will make sure they invite YOU to their wedding for a "free" cake. You have to draw the line somewhere

online_annie Posted 12 Oct 2009 , 11:30pm
post #5 of 7

I would suggest that the MIL could cover the cost of the materials and you will donate the labor as your gift. It's possible that the MIL intended the cake to be her gift as well. That could also be your "OUT" as far as additional family members "expecting" a free cake for their wedding. Simple state that due to a family illiness, you stepped in and helped. End of story. If you would like to donate another cake, you may do so at your on discression. Wether you cover all costs, the labor itself is great gift. Sharing with your MIL will allow her to still feel important and that she contributed to the cake she badly wanted to. Just my 2 cents.

MalibuBakinBarbie Posted 12 Oct 2009 , 11:32pm
post #6 of 7

Based on what you said, why don't you make her the cake as your gift? (Since you offered to do that for her anyway.) That's what I would do. Hope this helps & best wishes with your cake! icon_smile.gif

Sparklycake Posted 21 Oct 2009 , 9:16pm
post #7 of 7

Thats everyone for the replies. Its not my MIL who wants to pay for the cake its the MIL of the future Bride. I have given the I'll donate the labour line to my cousin, but I still don't know what is happening, anyway the wedding is in a fortnight, so I have to come to a decision on it now anyway.

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