thank you so much for that compliment, but trust me, i'm not rushing anywhere. i have no desire to be a mother. i LOVE kids. absolutely love, but i also love giving them back at the end of the day 
i always say i have such huge amount of admiration and respect for mothers and fathers, but i could never do it.
totally off topic: i love your signature, too, by the way. the drama one reminds me of around my house. in spanish, gossip is "chisme" (cheese - may) and we run around "who's got the chisme?" or my new fave song "it's chisme time! chisme chisme time!" (that's about the extent of the "fluent" spanish i speak 
i understand a lot, but speak... not so much.)
It's pretty likely that no-one at the school has read quite a lot of the books that come in. If you went in with the offensive passages marked, the librarian might be horrified as well. Schools get many, many books into their libraries and while most librarians I know read a lot of them, it's humanly impossible to pre-read all books. They might appreciate your help.
edited to say, 'pre-read'.
I was in year 7 (11-12years old) when the teacher read us a book that was filled with details of a teenage boy - which included a girl who liked to throw herself at boys... all full of wet dreams and boobie touching!! I was horrified at that age. I had a very innocent mind and then they were throwing all this in our faces!! in Year 5 (10-9years old) they had a sex talk night for the children, my mother refused to take us, as we were too young for that talk!! and mum wanted to tell us herself! without all the worry of knowing of STI's and the rest of the reproductive system
I think the good old fashioned - when you love someone and get married you decide to have a baby etc... lol
I believe children are being introduced to early to this stuff - let them have a childhood please!!
I must just be really old fashioned because I am shocked by how much stuff parents allow their children -or don't pay enough attention to what their children are into.
cabecake I am with you and went one further. My kids don't have cell phones yet and they my daughter is going to be 13 soon and my son is 11. We take them everywhere and there just isn't need for them yet.
My kids have myspace that we made together. And they don't have their own stuff and won't for some time. I have all the passwords and monitor things and encourage my kids to stay true to their moral values. I use the stuff some their friends post to talk about being appropriate or not. We discuss it. I ask them what they think and listen and most of the time they voice against the inappropriate stuff and have encourage some of their friends to be more careful about things.
I just feel the absolute need to pay close attention to my children.
There's no way to shield them from the world, so I use a lot of things for discussion and example and encourage my kids to do what they know is right.
Kids are always going to know a little more then their parents want them to or what they should know for their age. But I see a scary trend that the advanced amount of information has greatly increased and kids are growing up way to fast rescently-compairing to 10- 20 years ago or 30 years ago.
I got My first Cell at 16 - Thats was ONLY for emergencies - we only would get $10 credit on them so we couldnt go crazy!!
I never got into networking sites till 17-18 because I saw my friends and didnt feel I needed to connect with them over the internet. Of course I did go through a stage where I was on there constantly and experianced cyber bullying, stalking and all round love/hate relationship with the networks I was on! I met my partner on Myspace - I live in a small town so it was easy to get a back ground check on him, lol!!
I never knew he existed but I knew his mother and she adored me when i was at highschool where she worked... lucky me...
I feel my mother did the right thing when it came to introducing us to the big wide world, Unfortunatly most of the things we did learn was at school from other children with older brothers and sisters or the Stupid Sex Ed course they have every year. I knew the basics, so I didnt feel that putting a condom on a plastic Doodoo was needed, and knowing about Novity items such as favoured Oral Strips!! Com'On I was 14!!
I read the Twilight Series. All of my daughters(12yo) friends have read them and seen the movie.
It is not just innocent romance. I can not believe the lure and sexual longing portrayed in these books, the lying. Bella even bounces back and forth from Edward and Jakob. Really bad role models. It's like paper back romance for teens but kids as young as 8-9 are reading this stuff.
The author is Mormon, a religion which requires no sex before marriage, hence all that pent-up sexual tension - as you say, raging hormones are gonna go somewhere! I believe that's also why Bella gets married so young.
LOL! Can you say conundrum? This always gets me. Our hormones are raging at 14/15, but we should wait to have sex until we are married, and we should wait to marry until we are in our 30s now. It just isn't realistic! I too found it interesting and admirable that the author had them marry first. However, writing about sexual tension and feelings...you have to be careful here because feeling that way is a condition of being human and not wrong. You don't want to make it dirty. And its just realistic that two kids that age would be feeling that way in a relationship.
My kids are still young, so I haven't run across anything inappropriate in books yet, so I am still not sure how to handle it.
It's pretty likely that no-one at the school has read quite a lot of the books that come in. If you went in with the offensive passages marked, the librarian might be horrified as well. Schools get many, many books into their libraries and while most librarians I know read a lot of them, it's humanly impossible to pre-read all books. They might appreciate your help.
edited to say, 'pre-read'.
I was in year 7 (11-12years old) when the teacher read us a book that was filled with details of a teenage boy - which included a girl who liked to throw herself at boys... all full of wet dreams and boobie touching!! I was horrified at that age. I had a very innocent mind and then they were throwing all this in our faces!! in Year 5 (10-9years old) they had a sex talk night for the children, my mother refused to take us, as we were too young for that talk!! and mum wanted to tell us herself! without all the worry of knowing of STI's and the rest of the reproductive system
I think the good old fashioned - when you love someone and get married you decide to have a baby etc... lol
I believe children are being introduced to early to this stuff - let them have a childhood please!!
I remember being in year 10 and a teache of health saying, "I know some of you would be sexually active..." I was so shocked, I kind of looked around thinking, "What? Who?" And that was at age 15!
I was pretty innocent about these things. I don't think that most 12-14 year olds would even think about it all that much except for all the images and ideas with which they're bombarded.
Besides, we're not controlled by our hormones. We don't need to act grumpy just because we're pre-menstrual, we don't need to have sex just because the impulse arises. A few less books and TV shows presenting sex as normal behaviour for kids of this age might help. Who knows?
I remember being in year 10 and a teache of health saying, "I know some of you would be sexually active..." I was so shocked, I kind of looked around thinking, "What? Who?" And that was at age 15!
I was pretty innocent about these things. I don't think that most 12-14 year olds would even think about it all that much except for all the images and ideas with which they're bombarded.
Besides, we're not controlled by our hormones. We don't need to act grumpy just because we're pre-menstrual, we don't need to have sex just because the impulse arises. A few less books and TV shows presenting sex as normal behaviour for kids of this age might help. Who knows?
well my friends who read magazines like Girlfriend and Dolly which has articles on sex "how to" etc. became active alot quicker then I and others who didnt read them magazines.. I still remember when One of my "use to be" close friends was telling a few of us girls how she was drunk and about to have sex with another class mate, but being to drunk she couldnt get the condom open - I was HORRIFIED, I was in yr 8 and only just started wearing a bra!! (I developed alot slower then most)
In sex Ed we had to do a quiz - 5 of the questions being about your period - the test was confidential, anyway I didnt get my period till summer of Year 9 so I was REALLY embarrassed to walk up to the Male teacher (Also My parents friend) and tell him I havent got my period yet!!
I just feel it is in the media these days to blame for children becoming active quicker! Oh and not having very good parents!!
In sex Ed we had to do a quiz - 5 of the questions being about your period - the test was confidential, anyway I didnt get my period till summer of Year 9 so I was REALLY embarrassed to walk up to the Male teacher (Also My parents friend) and tell him I havent got my period yet!!
that's awful! you shouldn't have had to be in that type of situation! people develop differently and it shouldn't be a burden for kids, because that's just how life is. i mean, look at me. i had the opposite problem: i got my period when i was NINE. yeah, i was embarrassed, because i knew way MORE than anyone else in the elementary school health class.
Does the word abstinence even exist in today's vocabulary?
I'd like to think that it's still OK to teach our kids about strong morals, self-respect and abstinence.
The "anything goes" or "everyone is doing it" attitude shouldn't sway our parenting beliefs to accomadate that lifestyle.
My kids are adult age now so I'm pretty much finished with this kind of thing, but I applaud you young parents who are choosing to raise your children with strong family values. Even more important....for allowing them to BE children while they still ARE children.
It's definitely not easy raising children today and I agree that society is rushing their childhood way too much.
that's awful! you shouldn't have had to be in that type of situation! people develop differently and it shouldn't be a burden for kids, because that's just how life is. i mean, look at me. i had the opposite problem: i got my period when i was NINE. yeah, i was embarrassed, because i knew way MORE than anyone else in the elementary school health class.
There was a young girl i went to school with that got hers at that age. None of us really worried about her - she was still our friend, of course there were nasty children in our class aswell.
The quiz was a thing that was a must in most schools as it was apart of the sex ed. they just assumed that by Gr 9 all the girls would have developed. My twin sister followed getting hers in yr 10. so she was the last girl in our group to finaly "Mature" as all the girls would laugh and be quite nasty about it - we were the youngest in the grade as well so we often coped the blame for having to get premission slips (When kids turn 16 they dont need to send out permission slips to watch a M rated movie)
we were just really lucky to have Good parents who taught us good morals and values!! and I want to pass that on to my children in hope they turn out a bit better then I!! lol
When I started caring for my step-kids I couldn't believe the things they had been allowed to watch. Let me tell you they certainly threw a few tantrums when I came along and began to discern what could and couldn't be viewed.
Although, there was just one time that I wasn't on the ball and it nearly broke my heart.
I walked into my step-daughters room one day to find her 14, my step son 13 and my own 2 year old daughter watching an R rated movie.
The video store had rented it to my s-son no questions asked.
After three years it still makes me angry.
I should have sued their freakin A$$E$!! 
My daughter often voices the hurt, "You don't trust me?"
My answer is that yes I am continuing to raise you with moral values and yes you know right from wrong and you have to earn my trust... But it's the rest of the world I really don't trust. I am always telling my kids that their rules apply to them where ever they may be.
Kids put so much pressure to be just like them and my kids are still young and finding out they can stand on their two feet and say no, so they still need guidance, support and a watchful eye.
Peer pressure can be brutal. Once my daughter came home in tears because I let her go to a friends house and her mom wasn't home. first rule is a parent must be home. An older 19 or 20 yo sister was watching them not the mom.
She lied and her friends had put on a horror movie with an R rating and she didn't have the strength to just come say see ya later and come home.
Shoot I don't even trust PG13-it really depends on the content. She was so upset with herself and heartbroken that she had broken my trust and made the wrong decisions. And she was soo sorry she watched part of that movie.
So she was held accountable for her actions. She already knew it was wrong so she didn't need teaching but she still needed consequences. So I grounded her for two weeks. And grounded in our house is Homework, showers, eating, chores and back in your room with no music, TV or movies or telephone.
Even raising your kids right is not a guarantee that they will not make mistakes especially with society and peer pressure to conform to evil.
Our village is overrun with morons! You can not depend on your village to help you out when you are not there-so you always have to be there. Be a great teacher of right from wrong, discussing the outcome and guilt over stuff... and the sense of accomplishment from doing what is right.
One thing you have in life that others can not take away from you is your integrity.
Wow. This entire thread interests me, since I am a Planning teacher. As part of my curriculum, we cover sex ed, relationship stuff, and all sorts of related topics. I agree, sex is shoved into kids faces constantly. (I even have a lesson where we rip apart current magazines, and discuss the use of sexuality and women in advertising!) However....parents always say "Not my child". But often times, it IS your child. I believe that by telling them the facts, showing them the risks (STI's, pregnancy, broken hearts) and having a frank and open conversation, I am lowering the chances they will make poor choices. I DO teach abstinence, as the BEST OPTION. But I do not believe for a minute that all my 14 year old students are virgins.
But I do not believe for a minute that all my 14 year old students are virgins.
Well you'd be right there!! Usually I find as soon as they hit high school "older" boys have dated every girl in there class and move on to the younger girls. Which is why most of the girls lose their virginity before or at the age of 14.
It could be pressure by an older partner. I know it was for me, well not the HE pressured me, but I felt that if I didnt put out he'd leave me. But I stuck to my guns, I was always proud to keep me um.. "Pure"
and Sadsmile:
Atleast we know there are some good mothers in the world, unfortunatly my home town is being taken over by parents who really couldnt give a Rats A$$ what there children do. Its quite dissappointing!
Mum never meaning to, but made us feel sooooo guilty if we even thought of doing something wrong. I to was that young girl who came home crying because one of my friends older boyfriend gave us a ride home and my mother told me never to get into a car with a boy!
It was raining awfully and mum was dissapointed, but the fact I was so sick and guilty was enough punishment for me. and i did tell the truth... Of course I always dealt with grounding
Wow. This entire thread interests me, since I am a Planning teacher. As part of my curriculum, we cover sex ed, relationship stuff, and all sorts of related topics. I agree, sex is shoved into kids faces constantly. (I even have a lesson where we rip apart current magazines, and discuss the use of sexuality and women in advertising!) However....parents always say "Not my child". But often times, it IS your child. I believe that by telling them the facts, showing them the risks (STI's, pregnancy, broken hearts) and having a frank and open conversation, I am lowering the chances they will make poor choices. I DO teach abstinence, as the BEST OPTION. But I do not believe for a minute that all my 14 year old students are virgins.
I don't want to be 'that' parent! I don't believe that sticking your head in the sand is the best course of action. I make a distinction between giving information, which is vital, and presenting teen sex behaviour as a normal situation. I knew lots of information about sex at age 15, but had no conception that 15-year-olds I knew would be doing anything about it.
That's why I don't subscribe to the belief that watching TV, reading books, or listening to music where teenagers are jumping in and out of bed is healthy for kids, even if you can then discuss your beliefs about it, because it presents this behaviour as something that is a normal part of teen life.
I think that most kids are able to distinguish between fiction and real life up to a point, but when books and TV are presenting fiction as a real-life situation, kids, and even adults I know, can feel like that's how things are for everyone else, and that they're the only one with a boring (read 'ordinary') life.
My religious beliefs preclude sex before marriage, (and I was married at 27), and I hope to pass that on to my children, but my thought, even for those who don't share my beliefs, is that if you're ready to be having sex with this person, you're ready to be having a baby with them. As far as I know, there's no 100% effective contraception, especially for teenagers who are notoriously bad at using any method properly.
Hoping not to have offended anyone - all my own opinions.
Definatly not offended. I do agree with you!!
Its like Swearing. First its in (M) movies then suddenly its your own priminister on day time Tv.
The more people are allowing the swearing, the more acceptable it seems to others to do it. But its wrong!!
these types of media are making sex seem ok for children!! yeah they are children!! not capable of making good decisions in their short lived life. Insert Good Parenting and we can stop alot of the media getting to the misguided teenagers.
Anyone seen children's Sex Ed classes in Africa... They say NO, and they make the children repeat it and repeat it! There was no talk of contraception or images in the media "Just say NO"
Sex is for making babies once a couple are married, and really thats what god made it for!!
Just say No
H 
ere here mcaulir!
That's my beef. It is so hard to completely stay way from this stuff and most of my kids peers watch, read, listen and believe this junk.
You are what you eat! And when you constantly feed your heart and mind with this crap you start to really reek!
Watch the stuff you allow into your mind, it takes over your thoughts.
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
I like the idea of "just say no", in theory, but the reality is that kids won't say no if they don't know WHY they should be saying no!! And for those of my students who do have sex, I want to be absolutely sure they are aware of the risks they are taking, and that they do everything possible to be as safe as they can.
After all, in Africa they teach "no", but the rate of HIV/AIDS there is insane.
I agree with kids need to know the "Why". They need to know that they are so special. That sharing that part of you with someone else is very personal and makes you completely vulnerable to them. That it is such a special and beautiful thing when you are completely committed to each other-when Marriage is held sacred and vows are honored and you continue to choose to love and work things out.
They need to understand that our emotional make up is to be with one person not jump from person to person. Because no matter how strongly someone denies regret and says it's OK and, it doesn't hurt... The cold hard truth is, that is a mask, a lie, made for self justification and it does in fact hurt tremendously deep. A whole lot of people are blocking this out of their daily lives just to keep on going. A lot of people are walking around with this injury and only feeling with half a heart.
And the risk is a death sentence. So many STD's and HIV and it's really scary and not worth opening your self up to a person that you or they are not completely committed only to risk an STD or a death sentence.
Kids need to know that it's OK to be attracted to someone and that they will have these hormonal pushes and urges but it is not OK to act on them. It is not OK to put themselves in a situation of sexual tension or to be alone with someone and allow one thing to lead to another.
They need to understand how precious they are and to hold them selves with high regard and wait for the future Mr. or Mrs.
Definatly not offended. I do agree with you!!
Its like Swearing. First its in (M) movies then suddenly its your own priminister on day time Tv.
I didn't catch that - what did Kevin say?
He said Sh!t lol I saw One report on it and suddenly it dissapeared... lol
AverageMom...
The Children are taught to say No because of the High rate of Aids. They taught an adult class how to put a condom on a broomstick and more then 80% of the men went back and put a condom on a broomstick and had sex with there wife unprotected. So Africa felt it was much better to teach them early about HIV/AIDS
Of course they told the Children why SEX is bad... then they bought on the Just Say No!! After the discussion they then had a chant "Just say NO"
It was Very impowering over the children and actually insipired them Not to have Sex
I was refering to another person who was saying how in there Sex Ed classes they discuss images in magazines etc. If you read the one I posted about what they taught me in class you would know where I was coming from. Children dont need to know about Novalty Condoms!!
So YES I agree they need to be taught to say NO, and let them Know why they need to say NO! just leave out the unessicary stuff.
I'm sorry you didnt understand where I was coming from. Its just that Not one class of Sex Ed I was made to go to did they enforced the children to say no... they just taught safe Sex! Like every child in class was bound to end up going ahead and gona do it anyway!!
Sadsmile...
I agree 100% with how you put that last message! That was the exact speech my mother gave to me. The Sex Ed really Put me off, but the words of my mother was comforting and felt right!! This is how I wish to teach my children about sex
I understood you, Caitlin. And I agree, we don't need to teach children about novelty condoms, flavoured lube, and the like. However, I assume that my students will SOMEDAY choose to be sexually active. And when that time comes, I don't want them thinking that kissing a boy means they are going to have a baby. I also don't want them to think sex is evil, or dirty. It's special, and it deserves to be respected as the act of love that it really is.
Trust me, I teach abstinence! I also teach safety.
I understood you, Caitlin. And I agree, we don't need to teach children about novelty condoms, flavoured lube, and the like. However, I assume that my students will SOMEDAY choose to be sexually active. And when that time comes, I don't want them thinking that kissing a boy means they are going to have a baby. I also don't want them to think sex is evil, or dirty. It's special, and it deserves to be respected as the act of love that it really is.
Trust me, I teach abstinence! I also teach safety.
I agree 100% with this approach.
A little 'fun story' for you: I was brought up in a very strict, religious environment. At church in our 'young women's' group one day the teacher brought in yummy cupcakes. She asked us to look at them, smell them and admire them, then she licked the icing on every one of them. She then offered the cupcakes to us to eat. Of course everyone said "Eww!' and refused. We were then told that WE were the cupcakes, if we 'allowed' a boy to touch us sexually, we'd be like the licked cupcakes, and no other man would want us because we'd be soiled, damaged goods. I've since heard of the same kind of lesson being taught with chewed gum, dirty handkerchiefs etc. Either way, the message is loud and clear: Keep yourself 'clean' or you'll be used, unworthy, dirty unwanted goods.
I tell ya, it took me a few years to get over that and develop a healthy attitude towards sex and sexuality. I have a beautiful daughter who turned 14 yesterday, and you can bet I'm teaching her about self respect and learning to trust her own judgement, as well as keeping a close eye on where she goes and who she's with. But I AM NOT teaching her how not to be a licked cupcake.
Cupcakes... lol what a very simple approach...
AverageMom....
I never said that they cant be taught what sex is. and I'm not saying at all it should be called "Nasty and bad" I said that the STI's you could get is bad...
Nor did I say that they will be completely shelted from what it is and think that "kissing" a boy would land a girl pregnant!!
So you have misinterpreted that part (sorry) I was So strongly saying we need to teach them "no" that all the other parts were underlined... anyway... Yes they should be taught what goes where, the body of a female and male all the reproductive system... as they do....
But then I believe all the other things I preached above!!
ok.. Understand me now... lol So I am agreeing with you all... just I believe they need to be a bit stronger in the lessons on who to have sex with/when/being protective and the symbol of what sex is with another person you share with.
Its just My experiance with Sex Ed was Terrible!! and they didnt once teach abstinence! or that Sex is an act of love... not just a release of ones sexual frustration!!
I have actually read in a "girlfriend" magazine in the "sex" section where a girl asked if she has sex with wearing jeans and a pair of Undies, could she get pregnant? The girl was only 12!!
Shocking really. So Yes they do need to be taught this stuff
I think we have reach a conculsion that children need to know, but taught the semtimental values of it.
Ok I read the vc andrews books as a 12-13 year old. Read all that had been published by 16.
Yet somehow I was a virgin until I was 22 and never had any incestuious ideas. On top of that my mother never discussed sex with me (and no I'm not an ugly betty lol)
I think how u raise your child by examples you set is more important imo.
Btw I love the disco stick song but agree it isn't fit for kids. But that said I teach 13 year olds that know all the words.
Ok I read the vc andrews books as a 12-13 year old. Read all that had been published by 16.
Yet somehow I was a virgin until I was 22 and never had any incestuious ideas. On top of that my mother never discussed sex with me (and no I'm not an ugly betty lol)
I think how u raise your child by examples you set is more important imo.
Btw I love the disco stick song but agree it isn't fit for kids. But that said I teach 13 year olds that know all the words.
I was horrified to find my younger brother (11) singing "your sex is on fire" I didnt even know that was the words in the song!
My 8yr old cousin sang "My neck, my back... lick my (ting) just like that" and all its other versions of that song that was even worse! I dont think she even knew what it meant! but these songs they hear on the radio
as for Disco Stick - it actually took me a few times to hear that till I actually got the song, like "Not fair" by Lily Allen 
didnt read all the comments so i dont know if this has been suggested, but i was in love with the ramona the brave book series at that age. Indian in the cupboard too at around age 12-13.
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