Costumeczar, I feel your pain. My father, god rest his soul, lived with me the last 5 years until he passed away shortly after Christmas last year. I had the opposite problem with my dad. It was like pulling teeth to get him to go to the doctor. He was "fine". He did a lot of things that on occasion were no big deal, but these small things on a continued basis day after day after day began to take a toll on my patience. Sometimes I just had to look at my husband and say "I gotta make a trip to the store" and he knew what that meant. Now that my father is gone though, I miss him terribly, and all those things that irritated me seem so minute. I'd endure them on a daily basis again, if it meant having him back home. We're all going to be in the same boat someday. You should treat your elderly parents in a way you wouldn't be ashamed for your children to see, cause they are likely to be the ones taking care of you. I'm not trying to be harsh, and I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong. I'm just saying, they will be gone someday, try to enjoy them while they are here. Maybe you could get him to write down some of your family history, and some funny family stories in a journal to save for future reference. Maybe that is something that would keep his mind busy. Make a big deal about it. Tell him you want to preserve his memories from the past forever. I know I miss my dad very much, even with the small irritating things he did. Good Luck and God Bless.

YOu could also get him a tape recorder and besides getting history and great stories, you will have their voices to remember them by.

We had my DH aunt record her history since she had no children to listen to her through the years and she led a very independent lifestyle. Unfortunately, her nephew got control of the tapes and will not let us have them to make a copy of. It is maddening because she recorded her history because we requested it.

It might make both of them feel important and leaving a legacy for your family.

My MIL tells my kids on a regular basis that if they don't take care of me and my husband the way that we take care of my FIL and herself, that she will come back and haunt them! This makes my kids a bit nervous...

Well, I took my MIL to the grocery store today and forced her to ride around in the electric cart they had there. She went from "I really don't want to ride on that" to "This is so much fun!" by the end of the trip. I told her to make sure that she told my FIL about it, and she was filling him in when I left their apartment after dropping her off.

Costume, I feel your pain. My parents built an extension on their house (I live with them still) for my grandma and her two sisters (84 and 91). My grandma passed away earlier this year and now we have my two great aunts. The 91 has no significant health problems except arthritis and mild diabetes but she is the EXACT opposite of you in laws. We keep them up to date with their doctors and monitor their medication carefully, something they did not do when they lived on their own. When it comes time for a doctors appointment you should only hear the fiasco. It is a zoo.

My mom and I took care of my grandma during her last few months and I will tell you, they are set in their ways. Right up the street from my house is a senior center and we told "the girls" they should go and play bingo and knit etc. They all refused! They would not leave the house. They will only leave when we force them because they have to go to the doctor. Its something my parents and I do not understand as we love going places and doing things but too they are holding onto whatever they have left.

I do hope this gets a little easier for you and like the others have said, it is a headache (I sympathize, I changed my grandma's diapers for 4 months) but they wont be here forever.