Anyone Else Dealing With Elderly Relatives? Vent...

Lounge By costumeczar Updated 6 Oct 2009 , 9:04pm by misserica

costumeczar Posted 3 Oct 2009 , 11:10pm
post #1 of 36

I will start by saying that I really like my inlaws, they're both very nice people. However, they're both very old (in their 90's). They're in pretty good health, considering their ages. My MIL has a lot of medicine she takes for various things, and my FIL is almost totally deaf and recently had a TIA, but he's recovered from that.

What's annoying me is that we recently moved them to a retirement home that's near us (so that;'s good) but we also discovered that their hobby is, apparently, going to the doctor. If there's nothing wrong with him, my FIL will invent something that he says he needs to go to the doctor for. He told me he needed to go toa podiatrist, and I asked him why. He said that there wasn't really a reason. I asked him if he had any symptoms, and he said no. So I asked him why he needed the podiatrist, and he said "I just want the doctor to look at my feet." icon_confused.gif My MIL isn't so bad, she just needs to go for frequent checks on her bloodwork becasue she's taking coumadin, at least she doesn't invent things.

We've taken my FIL to the hearing aid place 14 times in 4 months so that they can adjust his hearing aid. He's DEAF!!! They finally told him that they couldn't turn it up any more because it would damage what little hearing he had left. So my husband came home yesterday and said "you're not going to belive this...he wants to go to Beltone again so they can turn it up." My husband told him that they said they couldn't do that anymore, so he can't take him. My FIL was like..."Oh, okay. I need to go to the urologist because I have a blockage." No, he doesn't, they just did a bunch of unnecessary tests that showed what he has is a 92-yr-old bladder with weak muscles!

I know that he's probably just trying to get someone to give him a pill to make him 29, not 92, but I'm getting tired of being the chauffeur for his hypochondria. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this kind of thing, or should I just keep my mouth shut and make him appointments? At least my husband is on my side with all this, since he knows there's nothing wrong with his dad other than being 92, and you can't change that. You have to feel sorry for the guy, every doctor has told him that the things that bother him are age-related, but he just doesn't want to hear it.

Again, he's a very nice person and I like him. I just don't have time to drive him around looking for the imaginary fountain of youth!

35 replies
-K8memphis Posted 3 Oct 2009 , 11:24pm
post #2 of 36

There are no easy answers.

I say just enjoy them as much as you can.

Honestly compared to some elderly folks, you got it made--not that it's not difficult and perturbing and unnecessary.

Maybe you already do this but what would happen if you and your husband set up dates with them--like we'll be back Friday and go for a spin, get some fresh air.

You probably already do stuff like this or maybe you'd like to if you had time & that necessitates a coupla fewer dr visits a week but maybe something like that? Any other offspring nearby to spell you guys?

But it isn't easy. But he sounds absolutely adorable. 92? Get outa here!

It's just exactly like having overgrown children that never have and never will mind you--ever--so keeping it pleasant is a great way to go.


(((big hug)))

-K8memphis Posted 3 Oct 2009 , 11:35pm
post #3 of 36

PS. Ours are all gone now and I can honestly say I wish I had done more for them but at that time I was busy raising my kids, working a high stress job and taking care of those now departed ones as best I could--and it's just a very trying time--no instruction books--no extra hours in the day.

You get stretched beyond the max. And then they're gone.
Leaving rich legacy in the way of a tangled jangled trail of memories that grow sweeter every day.

ShelleyMJ Posted 3 Oct 2009 , 11:43pm
post #4 of 36

My great grandfather, who I was very close to, passed away at 97. Although he was in great health we found it necessary to put him in a retirement home at the age of 93. At that time he started doing something very similar. He would call my mom to make him appointments. We finally discovered it was all because he was very lonely. My great-grandmother passed away about 14 yrs before him.

When we discovered what was going on, instead of taking him to dinner once a month, I started taking him more often and spending alot more time dropping by to visit. (It wasn't just me, our entire family stepped up the visits.)

A funny story.... He loved Red Lobster so we took him there for his birthday every year. The last year he was with us he wanted a beer with his dinner. I told him I didn't know if it was safe because I didn't know all of his medications he was taking. I called his care team and they said no problem.

So he has a beer just before dinner. He had crab legs for dinner. There was a very pretty young woman at a table next to us. Grandpa cracked a crab leg and juice squirted on to the young woman. Grampa was feeling no pain but he realized what he had done. Before I knew it he got up from his seat and went over to the young lady and sat down next to her and apologized. He also bought her dinner.

What a flirt!

We were able to find out what what going on with my grandfather before the behavior got too out of hand.

I understand your frustration. I wish you well.

costumeczar Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 1:25am
post #5 of 36

Yeah, we try to get them to go out, but they won't do it. The few times that I do get my MIL to go out she has a good time, but she uses a walker and it's hard for her to walk a lot, so she's reluctant to go anywhere that she has to be on her feet a lot. My FIL won't even leave the apartment most of the time because he's afraid to be away from the bathroom for too long---totally understandable! icon_lol.gif

It's frustrating because they really are in very good shape considering their age, but they seem to want to think of themselves as ancient and decrepit. I go over there every day if my husband's out of town, if only to visit for twenty minutes or so.

I told my husband that they seem to have a lot invested in being sick...When my FIL had the TIA a few weeks ago, I cancelled a couple of Dr appts that he had coming up that week because he wasn't going to be in any shape to be up and out. He was happy with that, but just last week I went over there, and the first thing he did when he saw me was to start telling me what doctors he needed to go see! I told my husband that he must be feeling better, since he wants to go to the doctor! icon_lol.gif

Before they moved to the place near us, they were still in the house they'd been in for 50+ years, and it was packed full of crap. Depression babies, etc. So my theory is that my FIL's hobbies were to wander around the house looking for stuff that he'd misplaced, and go to the doctor. Since he moved into a nice clean apartment he's lost one of his hobbies, so he has to focus on the other one! I suggested that we go over to their place and hide stuff so that he has to search for it. At least that would take his mind off of the maladies that he's imagining!

Doug Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 3:04am
post #6 of 36

my mom -- 2 broken hips -- fix: electric scooter --- tho' in her hands you would have thought she was going to try out for NASCAR. We did always know we could catch up to her at the mall about every 2 hours for her potty stop.

dad -- parkinson's -- same fix -- same attitude -- caught up to him in either the coffee shop or the tobacco shop

those carts, while keeping me running, were a blessing in terms of them getting out and about. Just wish I could have permanently set them on "turtle" instead of the "crazed hare running from a fire" they always set them on.

----

ps -- used to kid dad (your dad too maybe?) he went to doctor only to see the nurses. his response -- you're dead when you stop looking!

-----
while very frustrating -- Nothing worse than an ancient 2-year-old which is their attitude often -- enjoy these years and make memories as much as possible.

I often wish I could have spent more time to get them to tell me their stories so as to record them or had them record them somehow.

To think what they have seen in the years of their lives!

OfficerMorgan Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 3:07am
post #7 of 36

Just curious-how would you be feeling/reacting if these were your parents and not your in laws?

costumeczar Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 3:24am
post #8 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by OfficerMorgan

Just curious-how would you be feeling/reacting if these were your parents and not your in laws?




The same way...I totally do not mind taking them to the doctor if it's necessary, but when my FIL tells me that there's nothing wrong, he just feels like going, I think that's unreasonable, call me crazy...But if it's really something that needs to be taken care of, I have no problem with taking them. It's just the stuff that he invents to keep himself busy that irritates me.

If it was my own parents I'd also be more blunt with them and tell them that I'm not taking them! I let my husband do that, they're his parents, so that's really his job to be totally straight with them. He agrees with me, and sees that half of the stuff his dad comes up with is just imaginary. He refers to them as "our other children," so at least we still have a sense of humor about it. It just gets to be ridiculous.

You have to feel sorry for the guy, he's just in total denial that he's actually 92, and things happen to you as you get older that make your body work differently. He's just looking for someone to prescribe him a pill that will make him young again, and it ain't happening.

ApplegumKitchen Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 4:56am
post #9 of 36

oh dear - I find it so sad how people react with old people.

I have a lot to do with them - people in retirement homes/nursing homes (unless they are completely brain dead) are bored sh*@%^less

I suspect they are off to the docs more often than necessary - JUST because it is an outing for them - even if it is just hopping into the car, waiting in a crowded waiting room and then having a chat with a doctor.
It is getting out !! for whatever reason !

I have a great empathy for the elderly - they go from having full, interesting, exciting lives filled with all the things that they love to do - then year by year this body starts to let them down - they no longer can do some of the things that they used to - then suddenly somebody informs them that they are TOO OLD to drive .... so they now rely on somebody else to get around. Then before too long somebody tells them that they cannot look after themselves so they must move to a retirement home.

In their minds they are still 21 !! I don't know how old you are but I know that I feel exactly the same INSIDE as I did when I was in my 20's but I am on the wrong side of 50!

I would say - ENJOY these relatives as much as you can - don't make fun of them or treat them like children - they deserve better!!
They are NOT going to be with you for ever

I have a group of elderly resident from a local nursing home come to my home on a weekly basis - None of whom are relatives - I enjoy the whole time!! I bake some goodies for them - and am always amazed at how their eyes light up when they get a pack of cupcakes to take back or enjoy a wander through my garden and a chance to pick some lavendar or watch a few birds in the garden .... ALL of these things are taken away when they are in the Nursing Home. One 93 yr old lady said to me - ... "I just want to walk out the door and smell the fresh air? - it really is VERY LITTLE effort for me to give a huge boost to a lot of very empty lives!!

Deb_ Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 11:54am
post #10 of 36

I didn't take Kara's post as "complaining" at all. She's simply asking for advice from someone who may be dealing with the same situation.


My Salon is next door to an independent living elderly complex and next door to that is a nursing home/assisted living complex. So as you can imagine 50% of my clientele at the salon is 80 and above.

Having lost both of my parents I love spending time with these ladies and gents, but I do have to say that the common topic of conversation amongst them is usually "who had a urinary tract infection this week" or "who fell and broke a hip" or my favorite "guess how my colonoscopy went?" icon_eek.gif Oh I almost forgot the subject of "stool softeners". YIKES!!

I think the main reason for their "obsession" with their health problems is that for some, it's the only thing they have to focus on. A lot of these people don't get weekly or even monthly visits from any of their family, so going to the doctors or getting their hair done is their only out.
They call themselves "inmates".

I do notice however, that the people who participate in the activities offered at their respective residences are much less likely to complain about every ache and pain. They have something else to focus on.

Kara, do your in-laws get involved and participate with the offered activities/trips at their assisted living residence? My Dad was in a nursing facility the last 6 months of his life. Fortunately it was the one near my salon so I was able to visit him every morning with a Dunkin Donuts coffee and sometimes a donut....shhh!

He hated going to the music programs and movie offerings at first, but my siblings and I would go with him in the beginning and sure enough before we knew it he'd be looking at his watch during our visits to let us know that it was time we left because he had a program to go to. icon_lol.gif

Maybe if you and your DH encouraged them to attend some of the things at the facility they'd begin to mingle with the other residents and form some other interests besides doctor's visits.

Good luck!

CakesByJen2 Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 1:37pm
post #11 of 36

It really does seem like maybe he is doing this out of boredom and to get attention. I know you said your family does spend a lot of time with them and have tried to encourage them to get out more, but maybe he is needing interaction with other people and for some reason going to the doctor is the only type of outing he feels comfortable with or will give himself permission to do?

Is there a social worker or anything at the retirement home than can help you with getting them involved in other activities and socializing with the other residents more?

dldbrou Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 2:10pm
post #12 of 36

OP, when reading your post the first thing that I thought of was boredom. Find a hobby for him to do. Something simple like, planting veggies maybe in a raised bed or pots at a high level for him. Gardening will make him feel like he can grow his own food and share his success. It will also get him outside a bit.

If there is no outside, he can garden indoors with certain plants, (tropicals) with good light.

My SIL has a MIL that would always call for an ambulance or a friend to bring her to the hospital for some type of ailment on a weekly basis. Now that they have put her into a nursing home she is happy to have others to visit with. She is a very people oriented person.

costumeczar Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 2:15pm
post #13 of 36

Applegumkitchen, I don't need a scolding, for pete's sake. If you have any suggestions on how to handle the situation do tell. We see them about 100% more now than we did when they lived an hour away from us, and did you see the part of my posts where I said that THEY'RE NICE PEOPLE, and I LIKE THEM? And yes, we do bake them cookies. They hardly have VERY EMPTY LIVES...

Thanks to all the people who've posted ideas...Doug, I told my husband about the motorized scooter idea, and he thinks that if we did that his dad would try to go out on the busy road nearby and get run over! His mom would probably like one, so I'm going to run it by her. It could be a dangerous thing, though!

My MIL does try to go out to some of the activities that the retirement home offers, but it's like pulling teeth to get my FIL to go anywhere. He doesn't even want to come to our house half the time, since he has his routine at his apartment. And to clarify, this is a two-bedroom apartment, not a hospital room in a nursing home. They have a full kitchen, two bathrooms, maid service once a week, washer and dryer, etc. They're not locked up in a room with nothing to do. They can go out for walks, which they do daily to get some exercise, but that's the extent of what they want to do. (My husband refers to the place as a cruise ship...They have their meals prepared in a nice restaurant setting with waiters coming to the tables, they have a hairdresser there, they have movies and entertainment scheduled, the staff is great, they have medical staff there if needed, etc.)

I forced my MIL to go shopping with me and my daughter because she wanted some new clothes, and she had a good time. We've been trying to get my FIL to leave the place for the last 4 months, but he won't go. Unless we want to wrestle a 92-yr-old man, we can't make him go. My MIL forced him to go to a lunch that the place sponsored for new residents, and he left early to go back to his apartment to use the bathroom! At least he went, though, that was a success.

The doctor thing started looooong before they were elderly, too. When we were going through their house to clear it out, my SIL said that she'd never seen so many doctor bills. This went back to the 1960's, if not before, and they were only in their 50's then. I swear to God, this is his hobby. He used to drive himself when they lived in their house, but he can't hear and see enough to drive anymore, so there's no way we're going to give him car keys. We also can't let him go with the retirement home's shuttle service, because he's also getting more confused as time passes, and he'd probably just sit in the waiting room, not hearing the nurse calling him when it's his turn. We go with them to make sure they hear what the doctor says, neither of them is able to remember everything anymore.


I just took my MIL to the dentist last week, and she wanted me to go into the exam room with her. The dentist said that she had something that was optional to fix, and she'd have to go off of her coumadin. I told them that they've just gotten her coumadin straightened out after two months of changing it around, so we shouldn't do that, and the dentist said okay, we can wait. We talked about it all the way home, and even after that she told my husband that she needed to make an appointment because the dentist said that she needed to have this done.

We realize that the main issue is that his dad is almost totally deaf, finds it hard to socialize because of that, and just isn't ready to admit that when you get to be his age, things start wearing out. I'm going to try to get my MIL to harass him about going to some of the activities that they offer where they live, but he finds it hard to participate because he really can't hear anything. She's the only one he'll listen to as far as telling him what to do goes! They've been married for 65 years, so she's the one who knows how to get him to do things!

costumeczar Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 2:21pm
post #14 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly


Having lost both of my parents I love spending time with these ladies and gents, but I do have to say that the common topic of conversation amongst them is usually "who had a urinary tract infection this week" or "who fell and broke a hip" or my favorite "guess how my colonoscopy went?" icon_eek.gif Oh I almost forgot the subject of "stool softeners". YIKES!!




Oh yes, I'm now an expert on the issues of the colon...My husband said to add that his dad is often sh#$less, but it's not because he's bored, it's because he's 92! icon_lol.gif

BeeBoos-8599_ Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 2:24pm
post #15 of 36

Just like you remember where you were when Elvis died, you will remember the day that you suddenly became the parent. It is a really odd feeling. I would never 'scold" you for feeling the way you do. I am glad you felt safe enough to come here and vent (some people may have taken out thier frustrations on the person they were trying to deal with).
I dont think I have any good answers for you I just wanted you to know that I DO no know you are feeling and all you can do is your best. Keep smiling and I will pray for you.

indydebi Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 2:24pm
post #16 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

I think the main reason for their "obsession" with their health problems is that for some, it's the only thing they have to focus on.



Heck, I"m only 50 and my married daughter has told me more than once, "Mom, you're starting to sound like an old person, telling me about your ailments! So stop it!" icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

costumeczar Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 3:08pm
post #17 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

I think the main reason for their "obsession" with their health problems is that for some, it's the only thing they have to focus on.


Heck, I"m only 50 and my married daughter has told me more than once, "Mom, you're starting to sound like an old person, telling me about your ailments! So stop it!" icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif




Yeah, you know you're getting older when someone starts talking about their health problems and you're actually interested!

Deb_ Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 3:20pm
post #18 of 36

Oh man ain't that the truth. icon_rolleyes.gif

I completely understand the hearing loss, my Dad had the same problem.

In dealing with a lot of elderly on a daily basis, I notice that the men are much less willing to "socialize" then the woman are.

My Dad was the same way. He was 89 when he died and his excuse for not wanting to go to the activities was that he "didn't want to sit with all of the "old" people." icon_lol.gif

indydebi Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 3:37pm
post #19 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

My Dad was the same way. He was 89 when he died and his excuse for not wanting to go to the activities was that he "didn't want to sit with all of the "old" people." icon_lol.gif




omg that is so funny! My cousin is going thru the same thing with my uncle, his dad. His dad was getting to the point that it was time to pull his drivers license. My cousin asked him, "Dad, remember that driver we saw today who was kinda driving funny and crossing the line and everything?" At the end of the conversation, when it's suggested that maybe dad needs to give up his license before he gets as bad as that other driver, 80+ year old dad looks at his son and says, "Yeah but that guy was OLD!"

As someone said above, in my mind I'm only 27!

costumeczar Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 3:57pm
post #20 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

My Dad was the same way. He was 89 when he died and his excuse for not wanting to go to the activities was that he "didn't want to sit with all of the "old" people." icon_lol.gif




My grandmother (91 yrs old) says the same thing! "I don't want to talk to all of those old people.." icon_lol.gif But then again, she's always suggesting that we take her to see the Chippendales! icon_eek.gif

indydebi Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 4:13pm
post #21 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

But then again, she's always suggesting that we take her to see the Chippendales! icon_eek.gif


Now THAT'S the kind of gramma *I* wanna be!

(btw, went to visit my cousin in Dallas the summer I got divorced. Just so you know, if you stand on one of the half-walls to get a better view of the Chippendale dancers, they make you get down. icon_redface.gif I also got my photo taken with one of the dancers. He asked where I was from and I said, "Indiana .... and what they say is right. EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!" icon_lol.gif )

costumeczar Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 4:49pm
post #22 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

But then again, she's always suggesting that we take her to see the Chippendales! icon_eek.gif

Now THAT'S the kind of gramma *I* wanna be!

(btw, went to visit my cousin in Dallas the summer I got divorced. Just so you know, if you stand on one of the half-walls to get a better view of the Chippendale dancers, they make you get down. icon_redface.gif I also got my photo taken with one of the dancers. He asked where I was from and I said, "Indiana .... and what they say is right. EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!" icon_lol.gif )




Ha ha! My Grandma asked if they were "bare" at the strip clubs. I told her that they had g-strings on, and she said "Well, if they're not bare, then what's the point?" Eeeeeeew! Grandma!

Deb_ Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 7:09pm
post #23 of 36

LOL....I agree with Debi, I too wanna be just like your Grandma when I grow up. Mindset is everything! Now if I could just convince my aching feet... icon_rolleyes.gif

LaBellaFlor Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 7:13pm
post #24 of 36

My neighbor is 99 and in very good health. Can she see or hear very well, no. But she still lives by herself. Her daughter checks in on her just about everyday and so do we. We bring her, her mail. My grnadma is 93 and JUST stopped driving when she turned 91. I want to be like them when I get old...I'm all ready getting older.

costumeczar Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 7:59pm
post #25 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBellaFlor

My neighbor is 99 and in very good health. Can she see or hear very well, no. But she still lives by herself. Her daughter checks in on her just about everyday and so do we. We bring her, her mail. My grnadma is 93 and JUST stopped driving when she turned 91. I want to be like them when I get old...I'm all ready getting older.




Yeah, my FIL was driving until February,but he probably shouldn't have been. Nobody wanted to step up and tell him that he needed to stop, and it wasn't my place to do it (I would have, I'd seen how he drove!) He had a break in his back that had to be fixed, and that put him into a rehab place for a while then sped up the process of them moving into this retirement home. Belive me, the road are safer with him not on them!

I'm taking my MIL to the doctor tomorrow (what a shock) and then I told her that we're going to the grocery store and I'm going to make her ride around in one of those little electric carts they have. If she likes it, she'll tell my FIL about it, then maybe he'll want to do it too. We shall see...

Doug Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 8:28pm
post #26 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

I'm taking my MIL to the doctor tomorrow (what a shock) and then I told her that we're going to the grocery store and I'm going to make her ride around in one of those little electric carts they have. If she likes it, she'll tell my FIL about it, then maybe he'll want to do it too. We shall see...




FYI: the carts in the store are only distant cousins to the ones you can buy to own.

The ones you buy come in all sizes and types -- everything from one that looks like a chair that can spin around in spot -- all the way up to mini-road warrior class (yep, designed to be used out and about in the community -- can even get flashing lights and flags - raccoon tale optional!) most can come with a horn, bigger ones with headlights even (why I don't know -- they have no business being out after dark!) Power lift seats (up and down to reach things and fit different height tables) are also an option on some scooters and power chairs.

further -- check with doctors -- it may be possible, especially if mobility is limited enough to get Medicare / insurance to cover at least part of the cost and possibly the full cost of the scooter. Your doctor (yep another appointment!) will have to certify limited mobility and prescribe
(i'd like a scooter in candy apple red with racing stripes and a raccoon tale flying high! --- lest you think I'm kidding: http://www.pridemobility.com/pdf/brochures/pmv/PMV_brochure.pdf -- note the candy apple red option and safety flag and head lamp --hey, let's go duck hunting!)

having dealt with 2 of these at one time (smaller one for dad, mongo one for shop till the battery drops mom) ... look for one that breaks down into easily lifted parts -- at least that has removable seat and batteries. There are lifts you can add to a vehicle that will assist in getting the thing in and some get attachments to tow hitch that also hold the scooter and sometimes 2 scooters. It's best to have a least some type of station wagon/suv with large flat back to stash them.

check that the leg position vs steering method will be comfortable - as some have front wheel drive -- bigger hump up front with smaller less flat foot area -- and others rear wheel drive - no hump, bigger flatter foot area.

big advantage to them: we'd go out to restaurants to eat and because of the design of the carts (the chairs are even better), the wait staff would just remove chairs from table and they'd drive right up, park and then rotate seat and eat with no problem. -- no need to even get off the scooter! (and mom LOVED the basket as a way to take home leftovers!)

some sites to look at: (and no I don't remember the actual brand my parents had -- just that they allowed two octogenarian wannabe NASCAR drivers to hit the malls and the walls too sometimes!)

http://www.rascalscooters.com/index.cfm/mobility/products.landing

http://www.thescooterstore.com/products/

http://www.pridemobility.com/

http://www.google.com/search?q=mobility+scooter&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rlz=1R1GGGL_en___US343&client=firefox-a

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rlz=1R1GGGL_en___US343&hs=RSD&num=30&newwindow=1&q=power+chair&aq=f&oq=&aqi=

oh -- and get yourself a good seat of running shoes -- you'll need it to keep up!

indydebi Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 8:29pm
post #27 of 36

oh, I wanna ride in one of those little carts, TOO!!!! please please please please pleeeeeeeeeease????????????????

BeeBoos-8599_ Posted 4 Oct 2009 , 10:33pm
post #28 of 36

Once about 20 years ago my Dad told me he could not wait to get senile (sp?) so that he would not have to have an excuse to do stupid things (he was refering to his FIL who lived with them and used to take the car till he ran out of gas then call home). Well, I don't know about senile but he can sure do some stupid things like walk on the hightly pitched roof in cowboy boots or try to break a 2 year old horse. By the way, he is 75. He has had open heart sugery and only because I tricked him and took him to the cardiologist for a stress test at which he had a heart attack. And has battled and won over colon cancer. I dread the upcoming years because I can see the signs of alzhiemers in my future. Do what you can and again, keep smiling.

You can use my signature and change it to "Raising parents is like being pecked to death by a chicken". icon_wink.gif

costumeczar Posted 5 Oct 2009 , 12:23am
post #29 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug

Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

I'm taking my MIL to the doctor tomorrow (what a shock) and then I told her that we're going to the grocery store and I'm going to make her ride around in one of those little electric carts they have. If she likes it, she'll tell my FIL about it, then maybe he'll want to do it too. We shall see...



FYI: the carts in the store are only distant cousins to the ones you can buy to own.




Thanks for the links! Their mobility isn't too limited at this point, they can both get around without walkers, but they're convinced that they can't, so they cart the walkers with them everywhere. They're more security blankets than anything else...They just get tired relatively quickly, so I figure that if I can get my MIL to spend longer than she normally would at the store by using one of those carts, she'll see that it's easier than walking the whole store.

I told my kids that someone had suggested getting Grandpa en electric scooter, and my daughter thought I was talking about one of those kid's scooters that have the motor on it! She was picturing Grandpa riding down the road balancing on a narrow footboard! What a scene that would be...

Doug Posted 5 Oct 2009 , 12:36am
post #30 of 36

mobility is not just a matter of canes and walkers.

lack of endurance counts too.

may qualify simply because can't walk that long or that far (mom and dad both had theirs while still only using a cane as their distance before pooped out was about 100 feet.)

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from the sounds of your dad -- don't tempt him --- he may just take off on that narrow footboard!

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