Some Of You Might Remember...

Lounge By shelbur10 Updated 3 Oct 2009 , 6:50am by sugarshack

shelbur10 Posted 26 Sep 2009 , 2:39pm
post #1 of 19

Almost two years ago, we discovered that my 8 yr old DD had been molested by a family 'friend'. So many of you were so supportive and so helpful to me during that unbearable time that I thought you deserved an update, late though it may be.

After a year long legal battle, we ended up offering a plea bargain (to keep my DD from having to testify to the offenders face, which would have been devastating to her. there's a lot wrong with the legal system, what ever happened to PROTECTING children??). He pled to assault and battery of a minor, got a year in jail and a court order to never contact our family in any way again. A poor punishment, but better than nothing, I guess.

More importantly, after a year of therapy, my DD is her old self. She's a happy and well adjusted 10 year old, making straight As and pursuing an interest (and talent!) in art and creative writing. She still has nightmares sometimes and has (of course) not forgotten it, but she has worked hard to put it behind her and move on with her life. I could not be more proud of her recovery. Of course we realize that this is something that will never go away, and we will always have to keep an eye on her, as a lot of the issues tend to resurface, particularly during the teenage years, but she has done a remarkable job so far of not letting one sicko and his assault define her life.

Thank you to my CC family for being there when I needed someone so desperately. You have no idea how much it meant to me. To anyone out there going through something similar, please know that there IS a light at the end of that long, lonely tunnel.

18 replies
tatorchip Posted 26 Sep 2009 , 4:28pm
post #2 of 19

I will pray for her

kelleym Posted 26 Sep 2009 , 8:00pm
post #3 of 19

I remember. Yes, the justice situation is flawed in many ways, and that scumbag did not get 1/10 the punishment he deserved. God bless your family and precious daughter.

tracycakes Posted 27 Sep 2009 , 1:46am
post #4 of 19

I also remember your story and the pain your whole family was going through. Even though your daughter didn't get the justice she deserved, I'm glad to hear that she is doing well. She is so blessed to have such a wonderful and loving family that believed and supported her as you have. God bless you all!

-Tubbs Posted 27 Sep 2009 , 9:41pm
post #5 of 19

I remember too. I recall your devastation that you had trusted this 'friend' to be around your precious daughter, and how upset you were with yourself. I hope that, as well as your daughter, YOU have been able to move on, forgive youselves and carry on with your lives.

What a great mother you are. Remember, the best revenge is a life well lived.

itsmylife Posted 27 Sep 2009 , 10:50pm
post #6 of 19

I remember also. People who do those things to children do not deserve breathe the same air that the rest of us do. That piece of garbage deserves to rot in hell for what he did.

I am so glad to hear that your daughter is doing better.....God bless her & you for having the courage to go after that lowlife. May she continue to grow and heal surrounded by love.

kakeladi Posted 27 Sep 2009 , 11:43pm
post #7 of 19

May God continue to bless your entire family.
I do not remember hearing of this before but certainly will pray for your family to continue to put this behind you and heal.
Hopefully you will be able to help someone else who will go thru anything similar.

Auryn Posted 28 Sep 2009 , 12:02am
post #8 of 19

Shelbur,
I remember very well and I am so glad you updated us.
I am so glad your daughter is back to her old self and I am overwhelmed with joy for her that she has such a loving family that is dedicated to helping her through this.

I have a concrete faith in the powers that be that that scumbag of an abomination will get his just punishment in this life and the next. That kind of karma doesn't go away. I just wish I could be left alone in a room for 30 minutes with these kinds of people. All I want is a hot poker and a fresh set of coals.

To give you hope, my best friend in high school went through something similar when she was about that age also at the hands of a family friend. Unfortunately she did not have your daughter's courage and never told her parents.
With lots of therapy she is now a loving, well adjusted adult with a beautiful baby girl and an awesome husband.

There is always hope for a great future.
My love and thoughts to your family and your daughter.

michellenj Posted 28 Sep 2009 , 12:38am
post #9 of 19

Thank you for updating us. I remember this story well. What happened with the molester and his girlfriend? Didn't she have kids? Maybe I am not remembering correctly. Does he have to register as a sex offender?

Thank goodness your DD has such a strong, loving family!

shelbur10 Posted 28 Sep 2009 , 10:29am
post #10 of 19

Michellenj, you are remembering correctly. I'm sorry to say that his girlfriend married him during the court process. She has two daughters of her own and one with him. He did not have to register, so all I can do is pray for those little girls. Instead of logically looking at the facts, she went into denial and spread rumors and lies about me and my family. We ended up cutting a huge group of old friends out of our lives because not only did they not believe it, they didn't even ask us about it. They just listened to the stories going around. That part was hard for us to take, but in the long run we're way better off without people like that in our lives. We know we did the right thing for our daughter, and that's all that matters to us.

Rylan Posted 29 Sep 2009 , 12:12am
post #11 of 19

I almost cried reading this. I'm glad that your daugter is back to her old self.

May you have a happy family.

Deb_ Posted 29 Sep 2009 , 1:15am
post #12 of 19

I'm so happy that your daughter is doing so well. I will certainly keep her and your entire family in my prayers.

God Bless You!

Ruth0209 Posted 29 Sep 2009 , 1:27am
post #13 of 19

Bless your sweet daughter, and you, too. It sounds like you've done all the right things to heal and move on with happy lives.

JodieF Posted 29 Sep 2009 , 1:36am
post #14 of 19

Thank you for the update. I remember that thread very well and have thought of it every time I've seen you post. Your daughter is going to be fine, because she will always have the strength of her true friends and family behind her.

As to him, well, karma is a ticked off b*tch when it comes to people that abuse children.

Jodie

countrycakes Posted 29 Sep 2009 , 11:59am
post #15 of 19

I have thought about you and your family a lot....your post is so good to hear that your dd is BLOSSOMING! icon_smile.gif I will continue to keep your family in my prayers....

PS: We have a government in our country....what we do not have is JUSTICE. thumbsdown.gificon_mad.gif

vww104 Posted 29 Sep 2009 , 5:25pm
post #16 of 19

I also remember your story. Thanks so much for the update. I'm so glad that your family is healing and that your daughter is doing well. I wish you and your family the best of everything!

emrldsky Posted 1 Oct 2009 , 1:25pm
post #17 of 19

I wasn't here when you posted about this situation, but I just wanted to let you know that you've done everything right!

My own personal story is lengthy, but all in all: I managed to struggle through my childhood and teen years without counseling. As an adult, I noticed some issues, and I got help, finally.

And even though I wished I had gotten help sooner, I was still fairly well-adjusted growing up.

With your support, love, and commitment, I'm certain your daughter is going to be just fine, even through those often-dreaded years. icon_wink.gif

deijha Posted 2 Oct 2009 , 4:11pm
post #18 of 19

I am so glad your daughter is doing well. As for your question about our justice system. We have a Criminal Justice System, it is excatly what it says, a Justice System for Criminals,,, not victims.
Stay well
Jeanne

sugarshack Posted 3 Oct 2009 , 6:50am
post #19 of 19

God Bless your family and prayers for your daughter's full healing.

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