Highly Irritated! Too Much Negativity

Lounge By Angelfire3 Updated 21 Sep 2009 , 4:38pm by indydebi

Angelfire3 Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 12:26pm
post #1 of 25

Greetings Ladies,
First let me say that I'm not a professional cake decorator, nor am I trying to be. I do not want to start my own cake business. I'm in college pursing medicine. I just like baking cakes for fun. My cakes tastes better than store bought and most importantly, cheaper. I bake cakes/cupcakes for my kids birthday, my cousin's kids birthday & my hubby, mother & myself birthday, anniversary etc--All free of charge, unless I'm strapped for cash, then I just ask if they (friends & some family) can help out with the supplies I need.

I made mini pregnant cupcakes just for fun . I love the way they look and I wanted to see if I could. So, after I made them, I sent a photo to my "friend" like a dummy. She emails me back (this morning) being negative, as always. It doesn't matter what I make, she's ALWAYS complementing me then on the next sentence she becomes negative. She's like that with everything I make. The first time I told her I was learning how to make theme cakes/cupcake she said "Oh, that's easy. You don't need any special skills to do that." But when she tried to make a pirate ship cake (the one in the Wilton's yearbook), she couldn't follow simple instructions that was provided to her (from the website). It's just really irks me. Especially since she can't do it.

Another thing that irks me is my family & friends trying to take advantage of me (I don't let them). They ALL call me up asking if I can make them "this cake & that cake." I don't mind, but some of these cakes they want me to make, the supplies are very expensive and I have 3 kids, a husband that works and we're on 1 income; plus I'm in college (howard university) and I have to pay tuition. All I ask for is if they can give me some money to cover the supplies. I don't charge for labor b/c I'm not a professional. When I ask for like $20 to cover some of the supplies (knowing I'm still going to have to come out of my pocket), they throw a hissy fit saying "why should I give you money? We're family! You're not even a professional." My response is "Well Go to Walmart or your local bakery and have them bake you a cake."

Sorry ladies, I just needed to vent and blow off some steam. Feel free to comment.
LL

24 replies
CakesByLJ Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 12:40pm
post #2 of 25

Your cakes are awesome girl.. you hold your position... icon_biggrin.gif She is jealous... don't let her get to you. You are spot on with the family.. send them to Wally World.. congrats on your pursuit in college, and the best of luck to you~!

LaBellaFlor Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 12:51pm
post #3 of 25

I am so proud that you tell them to go and take their behinds to Wal-Mart if they don't want to help with cost! I know it's just annoying to have to go through the things you do when your just trying to do something you enjoy. Start charging them REAL prices and see how fast attitudes change! Heck, your in D.C. tell them to go to Cake Love and see what a custom cake from them cost. Heck, tell them to go and buy just a piece of cake from there! And as far as your negative friend, thats not your friend. Think about that. Sometimes you gotta cut people loose, cause they tend to be toxic.

debster Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 1:04pm
post #4 of 25

I hear ya and feel your pain, people have NO IDEA the time and EFFORT that goes into baking these cakes. They all want the cakes they see on TV the 1,ooo ones for 10.00

I do cakes ALL the time and I'm still in shock as to what all goes into it. Thank God you can stand your ground. Keep making the lovely stuff for you kids and let the ungratefuls go to Wal-Mart.

Babarooskie Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 1:04pm
post #5 of 25

Your cakes look very nice!

OK, so do you want to know where YOU made the mistake? MAKING THEIR CAKES FOR FREE FROM THE BEGINNING.

Once someone (especially family and friends) notice that you're making the cakes for dirt cheap- they will always expect it. It's sad that family and friends will be the ones to try to always hussle you. I had an arguement with my sister a few months back because she wanted cupcakes for a real cheap price. Her defense- "because she always refers people to me" but in reality, it was 1 person. Since then, we have not done business together again.

Next time your friends and family ask you to make a cake, just simply add up the costs and ever so politely send them the list. With a smile on your face say, here's what it will cost ME to make YOUR cake. But show them on paper- it's one thing to hear it from you and another to actually see it down on paper.

Hope this helps and good luck! icon_smile.gif

alene Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 1:05pm
post #6 of 25

First let me say that I think you have some amazing cake/cupcakes! I understand completely where youâre coming from!! I have a particular family member that has ALWAYS criticize my cakesâ¦.even when I first started. I feel that itâs amazing that I can make the cakes that I do. I never knew that I had it in me. Yes, Iâve heard the little commentâ Well, that should be easyâ. If itâs so easy, lets see them do it! I gave away my cakes in the very beginning but then it started to be too expensive. If a family member wants a cake, they have to pay for the ingredients. So, I know exactly how you feel.

cakegrandma Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 1:06pm
post #7 of 25

You have a talent and your family should be glad to have nice looking cakes for their events and be happy to pay your for the ingredients plus some for your time to have them. It would still be less than if they paid "professionals" in your area and their cakes or cuppies would look fantastic. As for your friend, she is jealous and wants you to get discouraged so you will quit and not put her endeavors to shame. Keep up your good work and congratulations on your choice of careers.
evelyn

kansaslaura Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 1:21pm
post #8 of 25

If they don't want to hand you the money, then hand THEM a list and send them to the grocery store for the supplies. If oil is needed (even if you have some) put it on the list! Same with eggs, vanilla, baking powder--you get the idea. Maybe THAT will make them understand what is involved. Let THEM fill thier cart with what it takes...

Stand your ground!

mightydragon663 Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 1:50pm
post #9 of 25

I'm proud of you for standing your ground!
As for your negative friend, make yourself scarce. When you are doing something as challanging as going to college/medical school, you don't need help with negativity in any aspect of your life. There's plenty of it already. Surround yourself with people who love you and support you.
BTW, your cupcakes are adorable! thumbs_up.gif

just_for_fun Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 2:00pm
post #10 of 25

HI, your cakes are great!

My mom also used to tell me everything is gorgeous, but...., always another comment. "you can't sell something like this, it has to be perfect", "you have to come up with diff cake/filling combinations", etc. (I have never attended a class, everything I know I learned on cc) I was always telling her that I don't plan an selling my stuff, I do it just for my kids' b-days, and sometimes I show up at other occassions with stuff, I try to tell them before but not always can I. But then ppl started complimenting her on what a beautiful job her daughter is doing, so she had to stop. But keep it up, stop showing this "friend" what you've been doing cause she'll only get you down.

Caralinc Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 2:03pm
post #11 of 25

You go girl !! Keep your ground with your family. Why should they give you more money? Well, maybe ask why you have to pay for their cake!! hehehe. Wow, you wound me up and it is not my family. I just feel your pain I guess. For your friend as PP said, she is just jealous. People are like that when they are jealous. Keep your distance if you can on the cake thing w/ her.

BTW your cakes are wonderful. Keep up the great work and make cakes for those that appreciate your hard work. icon_smile.gif

Caralinc Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 2:05pm
post #12 of 25

You go girl !! Keep your ground with your family. Why should they give you more money? Well, maybe ask why you have to pay for their cake!! hehehe. Wow, you wound me up and it is not my family. I just feel your pain I guess. For your friend as PP said, she is just jealous. People are like that when they are jealous. Keep your distance if you can on the cake thing w/ her.

BTW your cakes are wonderful. Keep up the great work and make cakes for those that appreciate your hard work. icon_smile.gif

Bluehue Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 2:14pm
post #13 of 25

It doesn't matter what I make, she's ALWAYS complementing me then on the next sentence she becomes negative. She's like that with everything I make

Well them, as harsh as this sounds - she isn't a friend - she is an aquaintance - because friends don't treat each other like that.
Friends bring out the best in each other and take comfort in knowing that they have made each other smile - not icon_sad.gificon_cry.gif

Its very true you know -
People only treat us a certain way because we step back and allow it -
As soon as you stop phoning or emailing her with you happy news - she will probably step back and ask "why haven't i heard from you?"
Be straight up and say "because you always find the negative in me"

Reality is harsh - truely, why do you allow those who say they "love you" treat you so mean?

Step back - let them come to you - and by doing so they will soon realise you are not to be taken for granted.
It might take a few days - even a week - but they will phone/email eventually - and it will make you feel much better about the whole situation and yourself.

Humans are funny creatures - many tend to think that the world will tilt off its axis if we don't do what everyone expects us to do -
The world won't tilt - i assure you - but you will feel better about the whole situation.


Bluehue. icon_smile.gif

Angelfire3 Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 2:14pm
post #14 of 25

Hello Ladies,
I love you guys. Thank you for your advice and complements. I've learned so much from everyone here on CC and I'm just thankful for having great internet friends.

I'm going to continue to stand my ground and not let nay-Sayers get me down. It's hard to ignore when they are coming from people that you truly care about. You ladies gave me great ideas and for now on, I will make a list of everything that I use and let their eyes bulge out to see exactly how much it costs. I don't know how you ladies do it with your cake business, b/c it's a very hard business to have.

Free cakes aren't the only thing my family and friends want. They expect for me to treat them for free when I graduate from Physician Assistant school. Are they serious?

Thanks again everyone.

LaBellaFlor Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 2:27pm
post #15 of 25

icon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gif You have got to be kidding!!!!!!! They can't possibly expect free medical care! Girl start getting your billing ready. icon_biggrin.gif

mightydragon663 Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 2:27pm
post #16 of 25

Free cakes aren't the only thing my family and friends want. They expect for me to treat them for free when I graduate from Physician Assistant school. Are they serious?

"Sounds like you need to make an appointment with your doctor" is the response I have found works really well for that particular request.

Angelfire3 Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 2:29pm
post #17 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBellaFlor

icon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gif You have got to be kidding!!!!!!! They can't possibly expect free medical care! Girl start getting your billing ready. icon_biggrin.gif




I am dead serious! I already told them NO! They have to show their insurance cards like everyone else and besides, if they are not b/t the ages of 0-18, I can't help them--Pediatrics only!

Angelfire3 Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 3:26pm
post #18 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by mightydragon663

Free cakes aren't the only thing my family and friends want. They expect for me to treat them for free when I graduate from Physician Assistant school. Are they serious?

"Sounds like you need to make an appointment with your doctor" is the response I have found works really well for that particular request.




icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif classic! Love it!

jaybug Posted 17 Sep 2009 , 11:52pm
post #19 of 25

You should tell your jealous "friend", Jealousy is a disease so get well soon biotch!!! icon_lol.gif

mrspriss0912 Posted 20 Sep 2009 , 11:12pm
post #20 of 25

Good for you standing your ground I completely understand where you are comming from!! I makes my cakes for fun and yes I do charge a fee just enought to cover supplies I get fussed at by the hubby for not charging enough for my cakes but I think I am being fair.
Your friend needs a reality check making cakes dose take talent and lots of practice Wilton is very user friendly if she has a problem following directions then instead of being so critical she should ask for help!!
Free medical mmmmm well I hear that crap too you are right by telling them to see their doc. Just stick to your guns girl and you will be fine [/url]

Angelfire3 Posted 20 Sep 2009 , 11:49pm
post #21 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaybug

You should tell your jealous "friend", Jealousy is a disease so get well soon biotch!!! icon_lol.gif




LOL!

mrspriss0912, thanks. I'm standing my ground. I think my friend has hinted around that she wants me to make her vow renewal cake. Isn't that Ironic? She hates on my cakes, then hint that she wants one. Hmmm. I don't think so.

mrspriss0912 Posted 21 Sep 2009 , 12:56pm
post #22 of 25

No way that would just be asking for more abuse and of all things it would be on a day that you couldnt be mean to her!!! "I'm sorry I dont take hints no recipe for them" would be my reply. icon_lol.gif

LaBellaFlor Posted 21 Sep 2009 , 3:42pm
post #23 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Artese

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaybug

You should tell your jealous "friend", Jealousy is a disease so get well soon biotch!!! icon_lol.gif



LOL!

mrspriss0912, thanks. I'm standing my ground. I think my friend has hinted around that she wants me to make her vow renewal cake. Isn't that Ironic? She hates on my cakes, then hint that she wants one. Hmmm. I don't think so.




Goes to show it's a jealousy thing! And don't say no, say $500!

beanbean Posted 21 Sep 2009 , 4:31pm
post #24 of 25

I graduated from medical school a few years ago and fortunately my family rarely asks for my medical opinion. They know I will just refer them to their PCP. It is amazing the assumptions people will make! I once had a stranger on the street who saw me trying to help someone who was gravely ill on the sidewalk interupt me and say " Oh, are you a doctor? I haven't been feeling well for a few months. My back aches and my head hurts......I stared at her in disbelief and quickly told her I was busy and she was not my patient. Unreal! BTW in the ED last night a friend of a patient came to the desk to demand that she wanted her friend moved from the hallway he was in to another hallway. Why? SHE (not the patient) was "too sensitive" to be near the other sick people and might pass out. Can you imagine that! The nerve of those sick people to come to the emergency department! She was stunned we thought she should relocate to the waiting room and refused to move everyone else to accomodate her.

Good luck in your medical career! Bring cake whenever you lecture or give presentations. You will be much loved by your peers.

indydebi Posted 21 Sep 2009 , 4:38pm
post #25 of 25

"People .... they're the WORST!" ...... Seinfeld

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