Is It A Full Moon Or Something?

Business By CakeMommyTX Updated 8 Sep 2009 , 9:16pm by jlynnw

CakeMommyTX Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 2:57pm
post #1 of 52

So far this morning I have gotten emails saying...

" really simple, 6 tiered cake to serve 280-310, my budget is $150 but I can go over it a few dollars...."
- sure I can do a cake for 50 cent per serving,I'll have to omit the eggs, butter, sugar, flour and vanilla but it's totally do-able!

" are your cakes really moist or are they dry,stale and gross?" - no my cakes are horrible tasting, make sure to stock up on toilet paper because once they hit your lower intestine like a brick you'll be in the bathroom for hours!
Seriously what do they expect me to say?

"I need a cake for only my husband and I, but I know your order minimum is 25, do I still have to eat all the cake if I only need a few pieces?"
-Yes you do, it's in Article 12 section G of the cake consumption laws, you must consume all cake ordered, not doing so is punishable by cake stoning, similiar to old fashion stoning but cake is used instead of rocks, less hurtful more messy!


Of course those are'nt my real replys but it would be awesome if they were thumbs_up.gif

51 replies
sweet-thing Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 3:02pm
post #2 of 52

icon_eek.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gif


Aaahahahaha! I so needed this today! You are too funny! Sorry you got all the crazies today but it made for a great read! icon_biggrin.gif

LaBellaFlor Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 3:05pm
post #3 of 52

-icon_surprised.gif And then people wonder why our contracts are so long for just cake!

sarkee Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 3:08pm
post #4 of 52

I needed this today. I am at work and trying to contain myself. My co workers are trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with laughing over here. I love it! Don't you wish you could just say that stuff and be done with theystupid people of the world....... icon_biggrin.gif

OfficerMorgan Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 3:10pm
post #5 of 52

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! I get those types of emails, too. People are such idiots.

leah_s Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 3:17pm
post #6 of 52

icon_redface.gif Waitaminit. Those would be my exact responses to these inquiries. Are you guys saying there's something wrong with that? icon_redface.gif

Reimagining_Confections Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 3:19pm
post #7 of 52

Thank you thank you thank you. LOTFLMAO icon_lol.gif

It wouldn't be sooo funny, if we all hadn't seen it at some time or another

majka_ze Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 3:25pm
post #8 of 52

Well, the sad thing is that the first two questions come from the advice "what brides should ask their baker / cake decorator" I have seen making rounds on the web.

The second is self-explaining. The bride took it literally and did ask, not waiting for the tasting.

The first one comes from - choose simple design and home baker if you find her/him and get your cake almost free...

I thank all gods there could be that this trend hasn't come to this part of world. On the other hand - we don't have weddings with 300 guests unless you are politician or celebrity and intimate wedding doesn't mean 100 guests, but about 20-30.

cutthecake Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 3:38pm
post #9 of 52

Cakemommy,
One word will solve all your problems:
TWINKIES!
Tell them all that you'll provide the "cake", in the form of Twinkies.
300 Twinkies for customer #1, purchased in bulk;
A sample Twinkie, for customer #2;
and a single package of 2 Twinkies for customer #3.

costumeczar Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 4:48pm
post #10 of 52

I laughed so hard at that first email, I scared my kids!

Caths_Cakes Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 4:53pm
post #11 of 52

ROFL!! this really made me laugh!

-Tubbs Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 4:56pm
post #12 of 52

icon_cry.gif (tears of laughter!)

jlynnw Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 5:00pm
post #13 of 52

Sad part is that the people were probably serious about it!

indydebi Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 5:45pm
post #14 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by majka_ze

Well, the sad thing is that the first two questions come from the advice "what brides should ask their baker / cake decorator".



Oh I HATE those lists of "10 questions to ask (any vendor)". icon_mad.gif

I got an inquiry where a bride obviously did a cut-n-paste of the list of questions. The problem is, they don't know WHY they are asking! I had fun with this one ... went around the bush and behind the outhouse giving her answers that asked more questions than they gave information. Concluded a lot with "Why are you asking?" (such as "what does the food look like on the plate?" ..... I dont know; it's a buffet! YOU are the one putting the food on the plate!")

She is the one where I coined one of my phrases .... for the "do you use fresh foods?" question, I replied, "Well I don't kill my own chicken or grow my own corn, so what are you looking for here?" icon_confused.gif

She replied to many of these that "I was just told to ask these!" icon_surprised.gif She didn't know WHY she was asking so she had no idea I was bullsh*tting her!

I need to write a blog on this! icon_twisted.gif

__Jamie__ Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 6:17pm
post #15 of 52

O.M.G.....I would really be looking for a hidden camera after receiving the second question. icon_biggrin.gif

indydebi Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 6:38pm
post #16 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeMommyTX


" really simple, 6 tiered cake to serve 280-310, my budget is $150 but I can go over it a few dollars...."




I will never understand the logic of "Here's what I can spend and I want THI-I-I-I-I-I-S much!" instead of "Here's what I can spend ... how much can I get for that?" icon_confused.gif

"Hi, Cadillac Salesman. I have $4000 to spend and I want an Escalade. I can go as high as $5000 if I have to." icon_confused.gif

Yeah .... THAT'LL work!

flourgirlz Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 7:01pm
post #17 of 52

icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

I love reading things like this! Even if you don't know anything about cakes, wouldn't you think common sense would kick in at SOME point?!

majka_ze Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 7:08pm
post #18 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by flourgirlz

Even if you don't know anything about cakes, wouldn't you think common sense would kick in at SOME point?!




Unfortunately, Flourgirlz, you will find that common sense is scarce commodity these days - in any business. And even people who have it doesn't use it always.

playingwithsugar Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 7:32pm
post #19 of 52

Responses fit for MAD Magazine's Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions.

How about this -

Q - "Do you use fresh foods?"

A - "No, I go dumpster diving for leftover cake at banquet halls, so what you get may have been baked last week.
"
Well done, members. I'm so proud. Carry on.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

cakemaker30 Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 7:42pm
post #20 of 52

I had a bride to be ask me one time if I had won any kind of awards. I said what kind of awards? She said I don't know, but this list I have says I'm supposed to ask you that. I said well I haven't so does that mean you don't want to use me as a baker. She said no and booked with me. Ok so what was the point of the question? Those lists are so stupid!

veronica720 Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 7:44pm
post #21 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by cutthecake

Cakemommy,
One word will solve all your problems:
TWINKIES!
Tell them all that you'll provide the "cake", in the form of Twinkies.
300 Twinkies for customer #1, purchased in bulk;
A sample Twinkie, for customer #2;
and a single package of 2 Twinkies for customer #3.





haha, too funny

OregonCakeLady Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 7:44pm
post #22 of 52

I feel your pain icon_sad.gif

"I'M SURRONDED MY MOOOOOORONS!" -All Dogs Go To Heaven

desiree_spruell Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 7:54pm
post #23 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakemaker30

I had a bride to be ask me one time if I had won any kind of awards. I said what kind of awards? She said I don't know, but this list I have says I'm supposed to ask you that. I said well I haven't so does that mean you don't want to use me as a baker. She said no and booked with me. Ok so what was the point of the question? Those lists are so stupid!




Answer: "Yes, I have won several awards"... Should we mention they were for the spelling bee in 4th grade?... Nah. She wasn't that specific either.

CakesByJen2 Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 8:46pm
post #24 of 52

Just curious, how *did* you respond??

When I get such stupid, rude, or pointless inquries I usually don't even bother to respond. If they don't have any more sense than that, I definitely don't want to deal with them.

CakeMommyTX Posted 2 Sep 2009 , 1:20am
post #25 of 52

I have'nt responded yet, everytime I write something it comes out sarcastic or rude, I guess it's just my mood. I'll try again tomorrow.[/quote]

Why are the brides told to ask these questions?
What answers are the hoping to hear?

Is this how the conversation is supposed to go....

Bride-" Are your cakes dry?"
Cake Decorator- "only when I over bake them "

Bride-
"Do you freeze your cakes?"
Cake Decorator-"yes but I was'nt going to tell you that, what you don't know won't hurt you"

Bride- "Do you use fresh ingrediants?"
Cake Decorator-" I follow the use-by date, give or take a few weeks"

Bride-"Do you offer discounts on cakes larger then 200 servings?"
Cake Decorator-"yes, any cake larger then 200 servings is free, I was hoping you would'nt ask that question but it seems you have been reading all of our secrets in Brides Magazine...whatever you do please don't ask for a free delivery..."

playingwithsugar Posted 2 Sep 2009 , 1:25am
post #26 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeMommyTX

I have'nt responded yet, everytime I write something it comes out sarcastic or rude, I guess it's just my mood. I'll try again tomorrow.

Why are the brides told to ask these questions?
What answers are the hoping to hear?

Is this how the conversation is supposed to go....

Bride-" Are your cakes dry?"
Cake Decorator- "only when I over bake them "




Bride - Are your cakes dry?
CD - Not anymore. I just used your top tier to Windex my workspace.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

__Jamie__ Posted 2 Sep 2009 , 1:46am
post #27 of 52

OMG....this reminds me of the local soup kitchen where I volunteer in the kitchen at times. Of course, a lot of things are donated, and naturally a LOT of the use by dates are very near or were several days ago.

I always used to say "Use by dates are just a suggestion!" Lollololol...

Of course, this is not something I go by with my work, but it cracked me up!

CakeMommyTX Posted 2 Sep 2009 , 1:54am
post #28 of 52

Ok so Ijust did a quick search and I found these "lists" that I hear so much about they had questions such as-

-When will you bake my cake ?(rumor has it some bakers actually bake the cake up to 3 days in advance...gasp!)

-Who will be making my cake? (another crazy rumor floating out there is that some bakeries have multiple employees, yep you heard right, like more then ONE person working there, and one might bake while the other decorates! I know its horrendous!)

-Will my cake be frozen? (ok so there is actually truth to this if and when someone is interviewing a Wal-Mart bakery, but last time checked I don't have 80year old greeters at my door and carts with only three working wheels)

So with that being said I think it is only fair that us bakers have a list of questions to ask our potential brides, after all we can choose who we want to work with just the same as they can.

1. Will your check bounce?

2. Will you pay the deposit on time with no excuses about how your cell phone fell in the toilet and your bank caught on fire?

3. Are you going to call me after the honeymoon demanding your money back because the cake was horrible and you had no choice but to cut and serve it after you signed for it , raved to my delivery guy about how perfect it was and took your pictures in front of it?

4. Are you going to call me 2 days before the wedding to change your flavors and become appalled when you find out the cake has already been baked, and then demand I re-bake it the morning of the wedding?

5. Are you going to milk the cow, collect the farm eggs, churn the butter, grind the flour, harvest the sugar cane and soak the vanilla beans for all your "fresh " ingredients? icon_twisted.gif


Did I leave any out?

indydebi Posted 2 Sep 2009 , 2:23am
post #29 of 52

Those are great! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif You even got a couple of "awesome!"'s from my hubby and my 17 year old!

Will you try to skimp on your budget by trying to only order wedding cake dessert for half of your guests and then try to demand a refund because *I* didn't make enough cake?

Are you a reasonable bride who has done the research on what you're buying, or will you pi$$ me off by TELLING me what you're paying for a cake like my prices are just a suggestion?

cas17 Posted 2 Sep 2009 , 2:46am
post #30 of 52

this is too funny, i have tears running down my cheeks!! thanks i needed this too icon_lol.gif

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