Would You Stay Or Go?

Business By Melvira Updated 6 Sep 2009 , 3:38am by CutiePieCakes-Ontario

Melvira Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:19pm
post #1 of 36

In June I moved into a commercial space, and got an amazing deal on it. I am renting it for a very low price. In return for the low price, I have promised to leave her business name on the window too so that if I decide to move out, she hasn't lost touch with customers. This is something she has asked me to do, but I am licensed under my biz name, operate under my biz name, am just renting the building from her... she's my landlord. (She wasn't even a bakery... she was a gift shop, but served coffee and cinnamon rolls) She comes in and continually tells me what I should be doing, what products I should be offering, constantly quizzing me about how much money I am making, etc. (Overstepping her bounds.) She also finds something about what I'm doing to complain about every time she is there. Today was the last straw when my HOME neighbor came over and told me that the landlord for my BUSINESS was with them today bitching about things I've done. (This is not the first time it has come to my attention, but today it hit me worse than usual and I got M-A-D!) I wrote her an email that was very courteous, but direct. I let her know that I have regrets about our arrangement and perhaps it was a mistake. What would you do? I have also been informed that she continues to refer to it publicly as 'her' business. No, it is her building, not her business. I am not her employee.

I guess I should point out that if I end our arrangement, I can go back to legally doing this from home like I've done for the past 5 years or so. And I wouldn't have to be away from my kids. I also wouldn't HAVE to have a certain amount of business coming in to support the building because I'm already paying for it as my dwelling. Also, I am never going to 'make it rich' in that shop because this is a small town of less than 500 people out in the middle of nowhere, so it's not the daily coffe and muffin foot traffic that brings in the money. It's the cake orders I was already getting anyway. I waste more coffee and pastries each day than what I sell. That part is getting frustrating too.

I guess I'm just angry about her unprofessionalism, or maybe I'm just regretting being out of my house away from my kids and this seems like a legit reason to quit. I am very confused, hurt, angry, embarrassed, every emotion you could think of.

Does anyone have some words of wisdom to share with me??

35 replies
playingwithsugar Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:29pm
post #2 of 36

Girlfriend, I didn't even know you were in a shop now. So sorry to hear that she's kibbitzing like that.

Does your lease give you the option to leave before it's up? If so, bail. It's not worth the stress. Before you go, make up a flyer with your contact info, so you don't lose the new customers you've made.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

catlharper Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:31pm
post #3 of 36

I really think you answered your own question:

Pro: Building a business in a professional store front

Con: Dealing with this persons unprofessionalism or at the very least having to set your foot down about her involvment in your business
Con: Being away from your home and kids
Con: Dealing with the other people in town considering you unprofessional because of how this woman is portraying you in the public venue
Con: Not really building your business more than you would at home.

I think you can see the answer pretty clearly. If I were you I would look for a new place to set up business or just take it back home and work from there.

Good luck!
Cat

__Jamie__ Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:32pm
post #4 of 36

Aw man. Well, I don't have any adive other than be firm but polite, and that you have done a much better job already than I probably would have. icon_biggrin.gif

goddessa12 Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:33pm
post #5 of 36

I have no wisdom whatsoever to share, but I wanted to say how sorry I am that you're in this position and hope someone comes along to give you some awesome advice!

xstitcher Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:35pm
post #6 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by playingwithsugar

Does your lease give you the option to leave before it's up? If so, bail. It's not worth the stress. Before you go, make up a flyer with your contact info, so you don't lose the new customers you've made.

Theresa icon_smile.gif




That would have been my 1st question as well. If there's no repercussions from bailing then do so. I'm sorry to hear that you've been having these issues with her. It's definitely not worth the stress or hassle and the bonus is you get to spend more time with your boys.

P.S. Glad to see you back on CC.

dahir Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:35pm
post #7 of 36

Well, not sure how the contract is written but I would certainly think about getting out of the building if you cannot control this woman. If you can legally do it from your home would'nt your money be spent just as well advertising, then you can continue to build up business and find another place. On a personal note: don't disreguard your feeling about being away from you kids. I put my oldest son in college last year and the twins left last week for colloege. BOOM!!! Just like that - Empty house within a year. My point is if your heart talks to you - you should follow.
Good Luck
Tracy

auntbeesbaking Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:37pm
post #8 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira



I guess I should point out that if I end our arrangement, I can go back to legally doing this from home like I've done for the past 5 years or so. And I wouldn't have to be away from my kids. I also wouldn't HAVE to have a certain amount of business coming in to support the building because I'm already paying for it as my dwelling. Also, I am never going to 'make it rich' in that shop because this is a small town of less than 500 people out in the middle of nowhere, so it's not the daily coffe and muffin foot traffic that brings in the money. It's the cake orders I was already getting anyway. I waste more coffee and pastries each day than what I sell. That part is getting frustrating too.





Melvira, it sounds like to me you know what to do! icon_wink.gif

__Jamie__ Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:38pm
post #9 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by auntbeesbaking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira



I guess I should point out that if I end our arrangement, I can go back to legally doing this from home like I've done for the past 5 years or so. And I wouldn't have to be away from my kids. I also wouldn't HAVE to have a certain amount of business coming in to support the building because I'm already paying for it as my dwelling. Also, I am never going to 'make it rich' in that shop because this is a small town of less than 500 people out in the middle of nowhere, so it's not the daily coffe and muffin foot traffic that brings in the money. It's the cake orders I was already getting anyway. I waste more coffee and pastries each day than what I sell. That part is getting frustrating too.





Melvira, it sounds like to me you know what to do! icon_wink.gif




Lol! Yes....look at all the highlighted areas! Double wink!! icon_wink.gif

littlecake Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:40pm
post #10 of 36

go home...some things are more trouble than they are worth.

selling lil pastries one at a time drove me to madness....so much time wasted dealing with them to get 2 bucks...ugh.

my whole goal is to get from the bakery i'm renting to a building at my home...seems like it would feel like being let out of prison.

my landlord is full of suggestions too...i have to be very curt with her sometimes...plus...in order to keep my rent down she gets free cakes, every month (her idea)...she oversteps her boundries constantly...ugh.

we could just beat your landlord up and throw her in the dumpster out back...meet ya in the alley, wear black, i'll bring the nixon masks......muah....ha ha ha ha

this-mama-rocks Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:41pm
post #11 of 36

Run! Run, Forrest, run!

sari66 Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:43pm
post #12 of 36

Since you had this happen already and you're not gaining any more business than you would have if you were at home then I'd leave, as long as your contract with her doesnt prevent this or cost you anything financially.

miss_sweetstory Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:48pm
post #13 of 36

If you bail on landlady-zilla you could also spend more time on CC! Yea! Do it, do it!

Seriously, it sounds like ending this relationship would be best for you. How long is your rental agreement? Can you stick it out that long so that she can't bad mouth you all over town... like you know she will? Other than stepping on the misinformation she'll spread, there doesn't seem to be a downside in getting out of this relationship.

beccal1972 Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:49pm
post #14 of 36

And also your LANDLORD is clearly undermining your biz by talking that way, and you may lose customers(and confuse them) if she keeps it up. I agree with everyone else, It sounds like you were more happy at home. Keep us posted

Melvira Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:50pm
post #15 of 36

Thank you all. And touche AuntBeesBaking!! I know I have all the answer I need... I just feel like giving up this quickly either makes me a failure, or I have to admit I was stupid to get into this in the first place. Well, no, I didn't know she'd be this way. So I guess that's not the truth.

My children are the very heart and soul of me, they are the most important thing in my life. But my husband seems to think I am too attached. How can you be too attached to your own child? I mean, yah, if they are 12 and you're still bathing them and not letting them out of the house, etc. that is bad, but my kids are 4 and 1. He is concerned about me wanting to home school them. Thinks that they need to grow their wings and so do I. icon_rolleyes.gif We get our children AS children for such a short time, how can making the most of it be a bad thing? I just don't think he understands. His sister and her husband are both working parents (outside the home) and they get about 2 hours a day with their child. That's filled up with eating, bathing, etc. They essentially get the weekends. Sometimes. If work doesn't interfere. That's not me. Kids first, everything else second.

I feel like I'm losing my mind. Oh, and to answer a question, there is no time limit on the lease agreement. There is nothing 'holding me to' that location. She said that at any point if it wasn't working I could just walk away. Maybe she knew what she was about to do?? I can jump ship at any time. I did invest in a few pieces of equipment, but it's nothing that I can't use from home. (Although the large cooler will take up a lot of room, hehehe)

Ugh, I feel sick to my stomach.

I'll let you guys know what happens. Thanks for your emotional support. I need it!!

Melvira Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 9:54pm
post #16 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_sweetstory

If you bail on landlady-zilla you could also spend more time on CC! Yea! Do it, do it!




That is absolutely the truth. I have barely been on here since I got the shop, just when I get an email notice that someone has PM'ed me, otherwise there just isn't time!!

Another option is that I could buy the building and just tell her to take a flying leap. This is an option... but I don't know if it's a good one. It's what she was hoping would eventually happen I'm pretty sure.

suz3 Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 10:22pm
post #17 of 36

I am working very hard to get my state to legalize home bakers. If I had that chance, I'd jump on it. I'm sorry that this has been such a yucky experience for you. I know you will make the right decision for you and your family. Happy baking!

LaBellaFlor Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 10:33pm
post #18 of 36

Being to stay at home with your kids, while they are babies & toddlers & still be able to work is a blessing. YOur not wrong for how you feel. I've been a working mom & stay at home mom. It has been great to be at home to catch things as they happen as oppose to cathing up. Got teenagers too. And it seems like your not building your business rep. when she tells people it's her business. Go home & be happy! icon_biggrin.gif

Doug Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 10:36pm
post #19 of 36

a) you are NOT quitting -- you are downsizing and realigning your business to better maximize your assets for greatest potential income vs. costs.

b) it IS still your business, offering a more limited selection to a more select clientele.

c) you are cutting your losses and leaving a financially draining situation for a more profitable one.

d) you are properly prioritizing you work with your values.

----

how fast can you get out the door and back home?

idgalpal Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 10:51pm
post #20 of 36

Mel-

You are not a failure! And as far as spending time with your kids - SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS YOU CAN WITH YOUR KIDS. Heck, I remember my kids first day of school like it was yesterday and they're both out of college now. They are children fo such a short time.
You know what you need to do! We miss you terribly when you're not here on CC giving us great advice and making us laugh our socks off!! Hang in there, take a deep breath and start packin' that shop up and headin' home!

-K8memphis Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 11:03pm
post #21 of 36

I woulda never taken the location if I could have a shop from home--not constantly flip the kitchen from commercial use to family use.

If you have to flip the kitchen--reconsider the location you're at.
Try & make that chick behave.

You got your husband pushing you on one side and the landlady pushing on the other--push back, Cake Buddy.

alanaj Posted 31 Aug 2009 , 11:23pm
post #22 of 36

Good luck Mel! I agree with the others...and you. icon_wink.gif Get out of there and spend time with your boys. Your hubby will look back on this 20 years from now (or sooner) and say how glad he is that you were able to be at home with them and have a successful business pimping out those malted cuppies and Bettercreme. Guaranteed.

Jen80 Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 12:49am
post #23 of 36

I think you know in your heart what you want to do.
You're already calling it "that shop" instead of "my shop".

I know you put so much work into that place, but if it's not making you happy there's no point in staying.

And you're not being a failure, you're doing what you think is best for you, your family and your business.

I say print out what doug wrote and put it on your wall to remind yourself of why you're NOT failing.

Good luck Mel, either which way you decide to go.

Mommy2ThreeBoys Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 1:22am
post #24 of 36

I agree you can NOT be too attached to your kids. My oldest son is 14 and I couldn't even picture not knowing everything that's going on with him, let alone my 5 year old son and my almost 4 month old son........ They do grow up way to fast you are so right there. I cried when my oldest turned 13 just because he was a teenager now.....I'm a sap at times what can I say.... Your babies are still soooooo little, I couldn't imagine not being home with my kids. Yes I know some people have to work and some choose to work, but I would much rather be there when they leave for school in the morning and get home from school in the afternoon than have fancy purses, shoes, ect..... (although if you can home school your kids I give you snaps for being able to do it, I sure couldn't......but my kids love going to school and I think they need the interaction with other kids that they get, but both my older boys are social butterflies too....lol)
With saying that, I think if you can do it from home and not be losing money and could get out of your lease then by all means walk away. You'll be less stressed out and much happier in the long run. Plus you know people who have order cakes from you and get good service and great cakes are going to come back no matter where your making them from. Good luck to you!!!

Loucinda Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 12:20pm
post #25 of 36

Mel - I have been offered a place for a shop (twice now) and I just cannot see the advantages for me to do it. If you had to choose between your business and your children, that is one thing - but you don't. I truely think you know what is best for you - just do it and don't have regrets about it.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

-Tubbs Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 12:26pm
post #26 of 36

This is a really hard thing to do, but I think you know in your heart what you want. Sometimes what we really want is not what we thought we wanted.

You will feel pretty crap right until you put up the 'Closed' sign for the last time and walk away, when you will feel an enormous sense of relief. Regarding feeling embarrassed about your change of heart, you just need to find a way to spin it to your regular customers who you want to keep: "I realised that in order to properly focus my attention I did not want the distraction of the shop", or something similar. You'll bounce, and your kids will be so happy!

This is one of life's Wax On, Wax Off moments. Good luck!

KHalstead Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 12:41pm
post #27 of 36

I think as long as you're willing to leave the building, then make some demands/requests. Tell her you want HER logo off, YOUR logo on...tell her you won't be discussing any money matters with her as she's NOT your business partner, and you will run the place how YOU see fit.....if you feel you're wasting coffee and pastries and don't want to offer them, then don't! Make it clear that if she's not willing to accomodate you, you will be forced to make other business arrangements! But make sure you're willing to do that before you threaten. As for her badmouthing you, you really can't stop that...but chances are you're not the only one she complains about, and other people that she's complaining to probably realize what type of a person she is anyhow, and probably take everything she says with a grain of salt!
On a side note, there is a place here in town that only bakes 1 doz. cinnamon rolls in the morning..and once they're gone....they're gone. Someone who used to work there said they couldn't get anyone to buy them and they were throwing dozens away everyday, so they started only making 1 doz. figuring if nobody bought them, they could ditch them on family members.
Well, as soon as people came in and heard the cinnamon rolls were "sold out" and there wouldn't be anymore until tomorrow......the place couldn't keep them. They said they put a dozen in the case and kept multiple dozens in the back after a while. People would come in at 10am and ask "are there still some cinnamon rolls???, am I too late??" Maybe a "sold out for today" sign is just what you need? LOL

arosstx Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 12:46pm
post #28 of 36

You're not "closing" you're moving or relocating. You're not gonna stop making cakes, so the business is not closing!

Kids come first. Period. You are doing the right thing, and while you're at it, I'd take the opportunity to tell that landlady (tactfully) EXACTLY why you're leaving.

Best of luck to you!

cutthecake Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 1:15pm
post #29 of 36

To everyone who's torn between working from home or outside the home:
See the "sad mom" thread. Enjoy the kiddies while you can because they move out too soon.

auntbeesbaking Posted 1 Sep 2009 , 1:56pm
post #30 of 36

[quote="Melvira"]Thank you all. And touche AuntBeesBaking!!.

My children are the very heart and soul of me, they are the most important thing in my life. But my husband seems to think I am too attached. How can you be too attached to your own child? I mean, yah, if they are 12 and you're still bathing them and not letting them out of the house, etc. that is bad, but my kids are 4 and 1. He is concerned about me wanting to home school them. Thinks that they need to grow their wings and so do I. icon_rolleyes.gifWe get our children AS children for such a short time, how can making the most of it be a bad thing? I just don't think he understands. His sister and her husband are both working parents (outside the home) and they get about 2 hours a day with their child. That's filled up with eating, bathing, etc. They essentially get the weekends. Sometimes. If work doesn't interfere. That's not me. Kids first, everything else second.

I feel like I'm losing my mind. Oh, and to answer a question, there is no time limit on the lease agreement. There is nothing 'holding me to' that location. She said that at any point if it wasn't working I could just walk away. Maybe she knew what she was about to do?? I can jump ship at any time. I did invest in a few pieces of equipment, but it's nothing that I can't use from home. (Although the large cooler will take up a lot of room, hehehe)

I could buy the building. Ugh, I feel sick to my stomach.



Mel,

You are quite welcome! Sometimes it's hard for us to see objectively what's going on. icon_wink.gif

I ABSOULUTELY AGREE with you in regards to how you feel about your children!! I think men just don't understand that bond that exists between a mother and a child. (In my opinion - and I TRULY do NOT mean to offend anyone - I think God designed it that way. I think mohters have a natural nuturing instinct that is just part of their DNA). I think you are smart to break down and see what the time factor would be if you're away from your children. When I did daycare, I had some kids so much (even weekends) that they started calling me "mommy" and I felt heart-sick for their mom because she was missing so much. And you're right, dinner, bath, bedtime is about all the time some partents get. When parents continually put their children last I wonder why they even had kids.

I just took my first born to college this last weekend, and the weeks leading up to it were so emotional for me. I just kept "seeing in my mind" him as a toddler and wondering how the time went by so quickly. People would tell me that and when you're in the throes of those 2's and 3's (and even 4's), you think it'll never end, but then you blink and they're all grown up! (It's interesting to me that I kept recalling those younger years and not the adolescent years when I was looking back).

I just don't want to see you live in regret. Work will always be there, those younger years will not. I think being a mom is the most important job on earth! You are helping to shape them as a person!

I'm not sure you would feel more peaceful buying the building because then you just have different stressors.

Best Wishes to you and your decision! thumbs_up.gif

P.S. A wise woman told me, "a parent's job is to work themselves out of a job." It has brought me much comfort taking our son to school, and knowing he's ready for that!

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