Is There A Nice Way To Do This?

Lounge By misserica Updated 21 Aug 2009 , 1:47pm by dailey

misserica Posted 21 Aug 2009 , 1:00am
post #1 of 5

My mom and her girlfriend are signing up for computer class (they do not know how to turn one on, literally). My mom's friend said it in conversation with a lady they both know but that my mom does not really care for. Well said lady decided she wanted to take the class (she has a facebook page and knows very well how to use the computer).

My mom is miffed and her friend is too but she opened her mouth in the first place. They asked me (30 years younger than them) for advice. I told my moms friend she had to tell the lady this was something they wanted to do together and she does not need to take the class. They think this will ruin the friendship (even though my mom could care less). Said lady has a habit of inviting herself to almost anything, even family parties and weekend getaways. No one wants to "hurt her feelings" but they do not do anything and she continues to make her way into everything.

Is there a nice way...my moms friend is considering lying which I said is a very bad idea. Thoughts?

4 replies
JanH Posted 21 Aug 2009 , 1:26am
post #2 of 5

It seems "the lady" wants to be closer to your Mom and her friend - so she follows them.... Sad that the lady is so desperate for companionship.

I feel it would be rude for your Mom and her friend to tell "the lady" not to take the class since one of them did mention it to her.

Just because they're all taking the same class doesn't mean they'll have a lot of class time to interact. (And if the "lady" is computer savvy, she's going to find a very basic class incredibly boring - and just might drop out).

Common courtesy dictates that your Mom and her friend be polite if they run into the "lady" but that doesn't mean they have to include her in their scheduled before or after class activities. No need to be rude, just a "Sorry, but we've made other plans" should be sufficient (repeated as often as necessary) for "lady" to catch a clue.

HTH

Jen80 Posted 21 Aug 2009 , 3:10am
post #3 of 5

People who continually tag along uninvited are usually the ones who make the biggest scene when confronted about it.

And they're usually the ones who get the most upset when other people try to invite themselves to what they want to do. icon_confused.gif

It's true.

Well, from my experience anyway.

Maybe if they joked around in front of all their friends about being so computer illiterate that they need to take a class, she might back off. My guess is she wouldn't want everyone to think that about her.

AverageMom Posted 21 Aug 2009 , 5:11am
post #4 of 5

There is no nice way. No matter how annoying this other lady is, your mom and her friend do not have the right to tell her to not take the class. That being said, they don't have to sit with her, or go out for coffee after class with her.
They're grown-ups. This isn't junior high.

dailey Posted 21 Aug 2009 , 1:47pm
post #5 of 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageMom

There is no nice way. No matter how annoying this other lady is, your mom and her friend do not have the right to tell her to not take the class. That being said, they don't have to sit with her, or go out for coffee after class with her.
They're grown-ups. This isn't junior high.





exactly...

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%