Am I Wrong To Have Hurt Feelings?

Lounge By jonahsmom Updated 18 Aug 2009 , 5:53pm by jonahsmom

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moreCakePlz Posted 16 Aug 2009 , 1:28am
post #31 of 37

Maybe they went out to lunch to plan your surprise welcome back party. icon_lol.gif

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Jen80 Posted 16 Aug 2009 , 11:17am
post #32 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by moreCakePlz

Maybe they went out to lunch to plan your surprise welcome back party. icon_lol.gif




Hey, I was gonna say that! icon_lol.gif

Except I'm serious. icon_redface.gif

Could have gone like this:

"Hey, let's go to lunch to decide what we're going to do for jonahsmoms (?) welcome back party."
"Great let's go!"


After a long discussion:
"You know, she's coming back to work so soon, maybe she doesn't want a big deal made out of it."
"Yeah, plus so soon after surgery she might not be up to it."

Don't forget you just had a major part of your endocrine (hormonal) system removed. It is very normal to find yourself being emotional after such an operation.

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Gefion Posted 16 Aug 2009 , 12:25pm
post #33 of 37

Sometimes people do inconsiderate things without meaning any harm. I think this sounds like one of those inconsiderate things. People tend to be really paranoid when they are left out, but it sounds like you are good friends. What reason would they have to turn mean all of a sudden?

To sum it up, you are not wrong to be hurt, but I seriously doubt they did it out of spite.

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jonahsmom Posted 16 Aug 2009 , 1:41pm
post #34 of 37

It's possible they did it without thinking that it would hurt my feelings. I suppose the conversation could've gone something like Jen80 said as well. I guess only time will tell. If they were gonna do something they might even wait until the end of the month, or maybe they're waiting to see if my "come back" is going to stick? Who knows?!

I think what I'll do is wait until the beginning of September. If no one has said anything by then, I'll just remind them all that I'll be gone on 9/11 and "when do you want to have lunch?" Then maybe at lunch I'll say how disappointed I was that I didn't get to have lunch with them last month. About how it would've been fun to see really talk to the girls when I'd been home all by my lonesome and bored to death. Do it in a nice, conversational way that gets the point across that my feelings were hurt without being confrontational about it. I'm not a confrontational person and am not great at sticking up for myself. I should probably work in that! icon_redface.gif That's probably why I'm working on a cake right now for my crazy ex-sister-in-law's best friend's birthday. She treats their two boys like crap and trash talks my brother and my entire family right in front of the boys! icon_surprised.gif But I don't say anything because I know that I'm about the only person she still talks to and if she's still talking to me I'm still able to snoop for my bro! icon_lol.gif Plus, if I start being b****y to her she'll just take it out on my brother. I'm not looking to cause him any trouble.....so a'cakin' I will go! I'll let my brother handle the ex!

Thanks for making me feel like my feelings are validated - even if they didn't do it on purpose.

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jonahsmom Posted 18 Aug 2009 , 5:17pm
post #35 of 37

Okay, so one of my co-workers is my facebook buddy and saw that someone made me upset on Friday. She asked this morning if it was someone from the office (so I'm thinking she already knew). At first I told her no, because daycare was horrible to Jonah that day so they upset me, too. But then I told her what was up because otherwise I would've let it but me all day!

I told her I wasn't so much mad as much as my feelings were hurt by the fact that RIGHT before I came back they went to lunch without me. She said, "did Shari tell you?" And I told her that in talking to Shari on Friday I brought up about being glad I was able to come back when I intended to because it would be fun to get to go out to lunch with the girls this month and was told that they already went. Apparently, they "had already set it up" for that day because one of the other girls wanted to talk about getting a new filing room. I could tell she felt bad and she kept apologizing saying they didn't mean anything by it and she would've felt the same way that I felt. Left out. I think she was being honest, but I also think she felt "busted" in a way because she's the one that brought it up. I know from talking to Shari that they didn't set it up until the 5th (which is after I confirmed my "come back" date with the girls). So, while part of me still feels like they snuck one in, the other part of me feels like it really was unintentional. I'm just gonna say the first feeling is hormones and go with that. But at least I let my feelings be known. I suppose "case closed" as far as I'm concerned!

I am proud of myself that I actually said something though....gotta keep growing up! icon_biggrin.gif

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Doug Posted 18 Aug 2009 , 5:41pm
post #36 of 37

and wouldn't you too be interested in talking about a new filing room?

I'd watch the girl who wanted the lunch -- sounds inconsiderate and possibly down right toxic to me.

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jonahsmom Posted 18 Aug 2009 , 5:53pm
post #37 of 37

I've been keeping my eye on this girl since I started! She's so snippy with me and makes me feel stupid sometimes - even if we're both on the same side of the discussion we're having! I think it's partially because part of her duties were reassigned to me when they saw how well I did with one of the other attorneys for similar documentation. I can't help that I know what I'm talking about! icon_biggrin.gif

Also, she has her paralegal degree and I do not (neither do either of the other girls). So I think that's why she's got the holier than thou attitude as well. She used to be the "go to" for everyone's questions and she still is for some of them. But they started to come to me with questions pretty quickly. Probably because I didn't talk to them like they should already know the answer!

I think she probably just feels like her toes have been stepped on (unintentionally of course!) for the past year that I've worked here and she just needed some way to get in a little dig.

That's okay! I'm extremely happy after this weekend and really feel like I have my priorities straighty. I am feeling good about schooling this year for my son - and am feeling happy in my marriage and with the people that I surround myself with. A little lunch won't keep me feeling down for long. But even happy people are entitled to hurt feelings every once in a while! My husband says it's time to throw the old potato out!

Edited to add: I want to make sure you know that I'm not saying every one with a paralegal degree is snotty! I'm just saying that in our office, the only one that has one, is snotty! It's just an unhappy accident! icon_biggrin.gif

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