Don't Want To Offend...what Shoudl I Do?

Decorating By MrsBsFood Updated 8 Aug 2009 , 4:18am by Idreamofcakes

MrsBsFood Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 7:36pm
post #1 of 19

So a dear friend of mine asked me to make a cake. She asked if I could make or find a hula girl that represented her soon to be six year old daughter. I couldn't find anything, so I decided to mold something for her out of store bought fondant (molding is not my forte, but I am happy with the results). This snowballed in to me making five more hula girls that look like her friends. I took descriptions over the phone from her daughter. I asked about skin color and she said they all looked like her, so I made them all Caucasian. Well while finalizing the plans today I discovered that one of the girls is Indian, one Hispanic and one is African American. My friend swears that it will be okay if I leave them the way they are right now. I don't want to disappoint or offend anyone. Time is an issue, I don't think there is enough time to remold these figures and have them dry enough for the cake. I thought about painting them...I am at a loss. I am being paid VERy well for this cake. How would you handle this? TIA!

18 replies
__Jamie__ Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 7:44pm
post #2 of 19

I wouldn't let it concern me one bit. You asked the skin color, she gave you an answer, and apparently it wasn't the right answer. But what can you do?? Nuttin. And please do not even entertain anything about refunds or partial refunds or anything else. If there was a contract involved (I never do a cake without one), you'd be even less worried, as it was all agreed upon and signed and that's that. Sorry this happened to you, but nothing really happened to you other than you did what you were instructed, so I take back the sorry. Sorry that you are in this situation. There! icon_smile.gif

MrsBsFood Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 7:46pm
post #3 of 19

My friend is NOT upset AT ALL. It hasn't even been suggested or mentioned about giving any sort of discount. I am more concerned with offending or upsetting a bunch of little girls at the party.

Doug Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 7:48pm
post #4 of 19

break out the "make-up"

but....try try to get photos of the girls. Skin tones vary tremendously.
African American is not automatically "dark brown"
nor Hispanic "olive"

the photos will also help you get details like hair and facial features (eyes esp) correct.

I bet they all have MySpace pages (wear earplugs! the music choices can be deafening) you can check to get a pic or photos on phones they can forward to you.

the break out the food coloring and give them their beauty make-overs.

jardot22 Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 7:49pm
post #5 of 19

I would say if you are that concerned about it, go ahead and paint their skin with gel paste color mixed with some clear alcohol. I think you would be fine to leave them as they are though - you were just doing as agreed upon by the daughter.

jammjenks Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 7:50pm
post #6 of 19

I agree with Jamie.

On a side note, I find it beautiful that when asked about skin color, they responded that they were all alike. Clearly there are differences in the typical skin colors of those races, yet your customer doesn't see them. Beautiful. thumbs_up.gif

sweet-thing Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 8:25pm
post #7 of 19

I agree. I wouldn't change them. You could end up offending them if you made them the wrong color.

I really posted to say how precious I think it is that the daughter didn't see the differences in her and her friends. Too bad adults can't all be that way.

LaBellaFlor Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 9:18pm
post #8 of 19

[quote="Doug"]break out the "make-up"

but....try try to get photos of the girls. Skin tones vary tremendously.
African American is not automatically "dark brown"
nor Hispanic "olive"

the photos will also help you get details like hair and facial features (eyes esp) correct.

I bet they all have MySpace pages (wear earplugs! the music choices can be deafening) you can check to get a pic or photos on phones they can forward to you.

the break out the food coloring and give them their beauty make-overs



And I am so glad you pointed that out Doug, cause none of my kids are the same complexion.

Maranda_V Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 1:16pm
post #9 of 19

Is it clear these other hula girls are supposed to be the friends? They could just be a group of hula dancers. I mean if the girls aren't clearly labeled as the friends they could be random hula dancers.

__Jamie__ Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 3:31pm
post #10 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maranda_V

Is it clear these other hula girls are supposed to be the friends? They could just be a group of hula dancers. I mean if the girls aren't clearly labeled as the friends they could be random hula dancers.




icon_eek.gif That's a good idea!!!

cindy1176 Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 4:33pm
post #11 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweet-thing

I agree. I wouldn't change them. You could end up offending them if you made them the wrong color.

I really posted to say how precious I think it is that the daughter didn't see the differences in her and her friends. Too bad adults can't all be that way.




I thought the same thing...if only we were all "color blind" when it comes to people...

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:25pm
post #12 of 19

Give them some thick make-up, that way no one can identify their inner (under the make up) beauty.

1234me Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:38pm
post #13 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by jammjenks

I agree with Jamie.

On a side note, I find it beautiful that when asked about skin color, they responded that they were all alike. Clearly there are differences in the typical skin colors of those races, yet your customer doesn't see them. Beautiful. thumbs_up.gif




I agree - I love how some children don't see color at all - all they see is a friend!

1234me Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:39pm
post #14 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by jammjenks

I agree with Jamie.

On a side note, I find it beautiful that when asked about skin color, they responded that they were all alike. Clearly there are differences in the typical skin colors of those races, yet your customer doesn't see them. Beautiful. thumbs_up.gif




I agree - I love how some children don't see color at all - all they see is a friend!

MrsBsFood Posted 3 Aug 2009 , 6:41pm
post #15 of 19

Well I talked to my friend and her daughter and asked what they wanted me to do...put it back on them. After some time they admitted that they would prefer the skin color match her friends. They had no pictures of these friends (They just moved and haven't unpacked everything yet), so I had to have them guide me and decided on the colors. I got them all painted and they looked ok...then my Dh decided he HAD to have some cookies while holding our baby. He went to move my hula girls and they all went crashing to the ground and most could not be repaired. I wound up staying up late and re-sculpting them anyway...then I spent the party praying that my not so dry sculptures would stand up to the humidity. Fortunately they did and the cake was a big hit. I was personally thanked by two of the mothers for making a more true representation of their children. So I am happy with the end results. Thanks for all the advice. I appreciate the help!

mindy1204 Posted 3 Aug 2009 , 8:38pm
post #16 of 19

Hubby would be in so much trouble... he has learned in the short time I have been doing this to avoid the kitchen at all costs while I am working. Now if only the kids would follow his lead!

You should post your pictures I would love to see them!

heddahope Posted 3 Aug 2009 , 8:59pm
post #17 of 19

ditto, would love to see the pics. I'm so glad everything worked out for you, and I totally agree with how sweet it is that kids don't see a difference they are all just friends.

adonisthegreek1 Posted 8 Aug 2009 , 3:47am
post #18 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBsFood

My friend is NOT upset AT ALL. It hasn't even been suggested or mentioned about giving any sort of discount. I am more concerned with offending or upsetting a bunch of little girls at the party.




I doubt very seriously that the girls will even care. They will love the cake and all the fun at the party. I guess everyone is different, but my kids are mistaken for a different race all the time and given gifts representing ethnicities that they are not, but we don't let it bother us. We certainly are not offended.

Idreamofcakes Posted 8 Aug 2009 , 4:18am
post #19 of 19

LaBellaFlor
This is off topic, but I thought you might find it funny, since you said your kids all have different complexions.
All my kids are white...but very different shades!
Except my middle son's (the lightest of all of them) best friend is african american, he practically lives with us and I always introduce him as my son.
He calls me mom, he's not even allowed to call his real mom "mom"
We are actually trying to get her to give him to us...anyhow it's really funny because he happens to have the same name as my DH, so they try to figure out how he can be a "jr".....LOL...cracks me up to see peoples faces!! My DH loves it because he wanted a jr. and didn't get one...by birth!

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