What's The Deal With Groom's Cakes?

Decorating By MrsMabe Updated 31 Jul 2009 , 7:18pm by tamarawagner99

MrsMabe Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 3:52pm
post #1 of 31

I never heard of a groom's cake until I joined this site. What's the idea behind them? I always thought you just had a wedding cake and were done with it.

30 replies
__Jamie__ Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 3:57pm
post #2 of 31

Some serve them at the rehearsal dinner the night before, and some have it at the wedding, so the groom gets to put his little mark on the whole affair. Let's face it, a wedding is pretty much all about the bride. I have not been asked to make one, and I really don't mind. icon_biggrin.gif

Doug Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 4:02pm
post #3 of 31

more cake = more fun.

at first a VERY Southern tradition in USA that has spread in large part due to the movie "Crimes of the Heart" with it's dead armadillo cake made out of red velvet cake, another very Southern tradition. (love the on-going feud between the characters portrayed by Olympia Dukakis and Shirley McClain)

people of 2 minds on grooms cake:

1 - serve it at the rehearsal dinner
2 - serve at the wedding reception off to the side.

in either case:

1 - meant to celebrate the groom and remind that he's a part of this "show" too! -- it's NOT just all about her. as such it usually is a "fun" cake that celebrates the groom's personality, hobbies, job, etc. So it might be a football helmet, or a deerhead trophy cake, or a duck, or a truck or a ......possibilities limitless.

2 - often is chocolate cake with the exception of animal cakes which are usually red velvet as it looks more "real" when cut and of course in the South red velvet rules for all kinds of cakes.

3 - usually is at most 1/2 the size of the wedding cake in terms of servings -- tho' not always - this is flexible.

yes, it is "her" day - but don't forget the groom -- so give him a cake too.

__Jamie__ Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 4:06pm
post #4 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug

at first a VERY Southern tradition in USA that has spread in large part due to the movie "Crimes of the Heart" with it's dead armadillo cake made out of red velvet cake, another very Southern tradition. (love the on-going feud between the characters portrayed by Olympia Dukakis and Shirley McClain)




Wow. There is a scenario exactly like that in "Steel Magnolias" as well! Bleedin' Armadillo cake!

CookieO Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 4:13pm
post #5 of 31

Steel Magnolias is the movie I remember that RV Armadillo grooms cake being in. Did I somehow miss another great southern movie out there? lol.

I've always heard too that ppl use the grooms cake to offer another strong flavor of cake to the quests (rich chocolate maybe).

Or it can be used it as a vegan option, saw that at a wedding I attended once.

Doug Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 4:21pm
post #6 of 31

oops -- my goof --

I get those movies confused all the time!

it is Steel Magnolias -- not Crimes of the Heart.

CotH is the one w/ Babe who is totally inept at committing suicide after shooting (non-fatally) her husband in the stomach and then offering him a lemonade while he lies bleeding on the floor!

show's I don't watch "chick flicks" too much!

Etta1025 Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 6:34pm
post #7 of 31

Yep, very big in the South. I've never been to a wedding that DIDN'T have a groom's cake. I assumed it was done everywhere until I heard otherwise on this site.

Deb_ Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 7:13pm
post #8 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsMabe

I never heard of a groom's cake until I joined this site. What's the idea behind them? I always thought you just had a wedding cake and were done with it.




Same here.....never heard of 'em....never had an order for one either. CC was the place where I learned about them too.

lecrn Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 8:33pm
post #9 of 31

I've never been to a wedding without a groom's cake. I think it must be a southern "thang". I've seen it served @ either the wedding or the rehearsal dinner. I even attended a wedding in which there was a groom's banana pudding. I think it's a great way to recognize the groom as well. Wonder why it's almost always chocolate?

Deb_ Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 8:38pm
post #10 of 31

I don't understand why the groom would feel "left out" when tradition has always been to have a bride and groom on the top of the cake.....never just a bride...........sometimes neither, but never just one. icon_confused.gif

Doug Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 9:21pm
post #11 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

I don't understand why the groom would feel "left out" when tradition has always been to have a bride and groom on the top of the cake.....never just a bride...........sometimes neither, but never just one. icon_confused.gif





to quote Thornton Wilder in his play "Our Town" (one of my all time favorite plays) as George, the groom, speaks with his soon to be father-in-law, Mr. Webb, Emily's father:

"George: I wish a fellow could married without all that marching up and down.

Mr. Webb: Every man that's ever lived has felt that way about it, George; but it hasn't been any use. It's the womenfolk who've built up weddings, my boy. A man looks pretty small at a wedding, George. All those good women standing shoulder to shoulder making sure that the knot's tied in a mighty public way."

-----

considering how little input beyond "yes, dear. whatever you want dear." a man traditionally has on wedding plans and how he basically shows up at the church decorated in the style SHE picked, slips in from the side, stands there, watches HER processional of attendants in dresses SHE picked and then HER grand entrance in a super fancy dress (as opposed to his suit or one of million tux knockoffs the color and style of which SHE picked) and then attends a party at venue SHE picked decorated as SHE specified where that pile of confection is often called the BRIDE's cake, the design of which SHE picked, and all this after she's had usually at least one and possibly more parties just for her (bridal shower) and only gets a bachelor party which is usually nothing more than a pub crawl while she is at a bachelorette party...

naw -- no reason he feels left out. icon_rolleyes.gif

yes, in a man's eye's it is all about her

she: I got him. I landed him. I caught him. (what he's a fish?).

him: she married me.

----

ok putting on flame proof suit. (dag nabbit -- the zipper's stuck!)

just be sure to throw chocolate -- tomatoes give me acid reflux

brincess_b Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 9:30pm
post #12 of 31

we dont have them in the uk either, until i said to my friend, look at this idea i found... she agrees that more cake is an awesome idea! and finds one of those amazing supermario cakes that her partner admires in passing, and asks me to make it. well didnt i just land myself a challenge! thankfully theres a few years to practice...

(and doug, you might want to take your chances with tomatoes - chocolate is hard! lol!
although my bf is pretty involved with our fantasy plans - his job is music, transport (his two most cared about ones), dressing the men (need the right kilts), and cake construction)
xx

Doug Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 9:36pm
post #13 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by brincess_b

we dont have them in the uk either, until i said to my friend, look at this idea i found... she agrees that more cake is an awesome idea! and finds one of those amazing supermario cakes that her partner admires in passing, and asks me to make it. well didnt i just land myself a challenge! thankfully theres a few years to practice...

(and doug, you might want to take your chances with tomatoes - chocolate is hard! lol!
although my bf is pretty involved with our fantasy plans - his job is music, transport (his two most cared about ones), dressing the men (need the right kilts), and cake construction)
xx




don't care that it's hard -- what's a bruise when you can have chocolate!

------

totally out there question ---

and just what does the Scotsman do about wearing a traditional kilt if he/she is allergic to wool???

Deb_ Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 12:54am
post #14 of 31

Wow Doug, sorry you feel that way. I don't know if you're married or not, but if you aren't then I hope someday you'll be able to have the wedding of your dreams.

I read your post to my husband of 26 yrs just now and his response was "Tell that guy I was THRILLED to not have to be involved in every little detail of wedding planning". LOL!!

So thankfully, my hubby doesn't feel like I left him out. Oh, and our wedding portrait is of the 2 of us.........I do have to say that it really bothers me to walk into some of my friends homes and see their wedding portrait hanging on the wall of just them (the bride) icon_confused.gif Now THAT I don't think is appropriate, it's NOT just her wedding day icon_rolleyes.gif

Doug Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 2:16am
post #15 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

Wow Doug, sorry you feel that way. I don't know if you're married or not, but if you aren't then I hope someday you'll be able to have the wedding of your dreams.

I read your post to my husband of 26 yrs just now and his response was "Tell that guy I was THRILLED to not have to be involved in every little detail of wedding planning". LOL!!

So thankfully, my hubby doesn't feel like I left him out. Oh, and our wedding portrait is of the 2 of us.........I do have to say that it really bothers me to walk into some of my friends homes and see their wedding portrait hanging on the wall of just them (the bride) icon_confused.gif Now THAT I don't think is appropriate, it's NOT just her wedding day icon_rolleyes.gif




i guess you missed my JOKING tone...

and haven't seen or read "Our Town" -- which ultimately is a wonderful mash note to love and lifetimes together and the simplest of joys in life as the most important joys in life.

no bitterness.

you gotta admit tho' that a groom's cake is a delightful, fun (and hopefully chocolate) addition to any wedding.

if anything it affirms your stance that the wedding photo should include both -- so why not the cakes too.

ps -- note to your husband. DITTO! just tell me where to stand and give me a script!

Deb_ Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 2:42am
post #16 of 31

sorry it's hard to read tone sometimes icon_redface.gif

I do wish groom's cakes would catch on around here, more cake more money icon_biggrin.gif

brincess_b Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 10:01am
post #17 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug


and just what does the Scotsman do about wearing a traditional kilt if he/she is allergic to wool???




mmm that is a good question. at least the air can get round your bits to cool off the itch!

i fully intend to have part of my wedding cake chocolate, and if theres a grooms cake, chocolate too!
xx

lecrn Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 12:50pm
post #18 of 31

Okay, changing the subject from poor little groom....
Who pays for the groom's cake? I was asked to do one by the mother-in-law to be. Does pay for it if it's @ the rehearsal dinner? How about if it's @ the reception?

Doug Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 1:02pm
post #19 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by lecrn

Okay, changing the subject from poor little groom....
Who pays for the groom's cake? I was asked to do one by the mother-in-law to be. Does pay for it if it's @ the rehearsal dinner? How about if it's @ the reception?




whoever orders it.

I've seen it both ways...

groom's parents and bride's parents; even the couple themselves if they're footing the cost of the wedding.

I've even seen where the bridal cake is from one decorator and the groom's from a totally different decorator.

GeminiRJ Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 5:42pm
post #20 of 31

I'm amazed at how many people have never heard of Groom's cake! and being from Nebraska, it isn't just a Southern thing. Whenever I've gone to a wedding, the big decision is whether to get a slice of the wedding cake or the groom's cake. Luckily for me, my husband doesn't like cake, so he gives me his piece and I end up with one of each.

And it has to be chocolate! I did a HUGE groom's cake a number of years back, and the bride was horrified when her mother wanted it to be carrot cake. It was quickly changed to chocolate.

kakeladi Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 8:31pm
post #21 of 31

I was always under the impression part of the reason for a groom's cake was because a 'wedding (bride's) cake' was always white on white. A groom's cake brings in another flavor/color.

dldbrou Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 11:02pm
post #22 of 31

Groom's cake can be any flavor that the Groom enjoys. It is suppose to reflect his personality, hobbies, job, etc. It is usually a comical cake, but can just be something spectacular that is a reflection of the Groom.

Whoever orders the cake pays for it and gets it from whomever they want. Does not have to come from cake designer of the brides.

Deb_ Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 12:53am
post #23 of 31

That's interesting that some of you say the groom's cake doesn't have to come from the baker of the wedding cake.

Some of the members here have said that they have in their contracts, that no other cake can be served at the wedding, only their cake.

Some feel that if an inferior cake was also provided, the guests may think the wedding cake baker also made the inferior one which in turn makes their business look bad.

I know for sure that LeahS has this in her contract, it actually made me think of adding it to my contract.

LambrinieCakes Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 4:36am
post #24 of 31
Quote:
Quote:

And it has to be chocolate! I did a HUGE groom's cake a number of years back, and the bride was horrified when her mother wanted it to be carrot cake. It was quickly changed to chocolate.




Hi GeminiRJ,
What's the reason behind the "no carrot cake" for a groom's cake? My son asked me to make him a 3D zombie cake (like the one seen on the Ace of Cakes show) for his wedding and he requested carrot cake.

On a side note, Ill also be making the bride's cake, a traditional Indian / mendhi design. Now, picture those two cakes sitting side by side. LOL

Tam

GeminiRJ Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 11:56am
post #25 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by LambrinieCakes

Quote:
Quote:

And it has to be chocolate! I did a HUGE groom's cake a number of years back, and the bride was horrified when her mother wanted it to be carrot cake. It was quickly changed to chocolate.



Hi GeminiRJ,
What's the reason behind the "no carrot cake" for a groom's cake? My son asked me to make him a 3D zombie cake (like the one seen on the Ace of Cakes show) for his wedding and he requested carrot cake.

On a side note, Ill also be making the bride's cake, a traditional Indian / mendhi design. Now, picture those two cakes sitting side by side. LOL

Tam




I'm a chocoholic, so yes, it has to be chocolate! Seriously, though, there are no rules for groom's cakes. It can be whatever the couple wants, just as the wedding cake doesn't HAVE to be a white cake. Tradition in my area means a white bride's cake and a chocolate groom's cake.

As for who orders and pays for the cake...when I got married, both cakes came from the same bakery and my parents paid the bill. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to do anything different. But the huge groom's cake I mentioned earlier was totally separate from the bride's cake. It was ordered by the bride as a surprise to her groom, through the country club where the reception was held. The bride's cake....no idea who did that one!

Butterpatty Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 10:15pm
post #26 of 31

I live in Tennessee and groom's cakes are a must around my area. Some are made by the person that did the wedding cake and some are made by a family member. I love seeing the groom's cake because it is usually a reflection of the groom's personality and/or hobbies and is often light-hearted. Most of them around here do tend to be chocolate or red velvet.

MissRobin Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 2:04pm
post #27 of 31

Almost every wedding I have done lately, I have had grooms cakes. In fact the last wedding I had two for the same groom!! Crazy!! Anyway, I know it is an old southern tradition, and I think it is kind of a neat thing. The groom gets a little attention!! LOL! As for two different decorators doing the cakes, I have also had that situation.. It was kind of weird, the MOB, thought my price for the wedding cake was high, and was very condescending to me about it and my "caking" abilities". She hired someone else to do the wedding cake. The MOG, happened to be my cousin, and she was insulted for me and her, and had me do the groom's cake. It all worked out, and the MOB, couldn't get enough of my groom's cake!!!!!! It was kind of funny!

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 4:21pm
post #28 of 31

So if the wedding cake symbolizes the bride and the groom's cake for the man, does that mean I will have to have two groom's cake in my wedding?

If so, I'll make sure my groom's cake tops a wedding cake.

Doug Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 6:35pm
post #29 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by RylanTy

So if the wedding cake symbolizes the bride and the groom's cake for the man, does that mean I will have to have two groom's cake in my wedding?

If so, I'll make sure my groom's cake tops a wedding cake.




no...3 cakes

yours mine ours

-----------------

oooooooooo -- new marketing strategy/wedding tradition

bride's cake (in the tradition of a groom's cake)
groom's cake

and the our's wedding cake (the current wedding cake concept)

another cake - more $$$ -- more cake to eat!

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 6:59pm
post #30 of 31

Doug, you are funny!!!!

I am laughing so hard.

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