Scared To Death....girl Stuff...very Loooong!

Lounge By jonahsmom Updated 1 Aug 2009 , 12:47pm by Kiki74

jonahsmom Posted 26 Jul 2009 , 12:41pm
post #1 of 26

Okay, so I'm having a total hysterectomy on Tuesday. I've been pretty nonchalant about it up to this point but now I am SCARED SH**LESS!!!!!! I think my husband thinks I'm a fruitnut because I am just freaking out!

I'm scared I'm making the wrong decision, but at the same time I KNOW I'm making the right one. Does that make any sense? Hysterectomy really is the only option to fix the problems I'm having as I can't take any hormones due to my breast cancer history. I was diagnosed at 29 with Grade 3 breast cancer, strongly HER2 positive....scary stuff! Anyway, I've been having girl problems since last fall and finally got sent to a different gyno who said that really my only option really is to have a hysterectomy. Other options included an endometrial ablasion which she said she couldn't really recommend based on my history. I guess it leaves (or could easily leave?) areas of regular tissue and if I have a problem later it could be difficult to see due to the scarring. And an IUD still releases some hormones so she wasn't really ready to offer that as a fix. I asked her straight up what she would do and she said that she would opt for a hysterectomy if it were her.

Fine. We're done having kids anyway. Our one and only is six. He's autistic (aspergers) and we want to concentrate fully on him and give him everything that he needs. So that's not a problem. And I've had several surgeries so I'm not really that scared about the actual surgery process either.

I'm worried about what's going to happen AFTER. My oncologist said to have my ovaries removed as well. Part of me is glad because that chance of ovarian cancer is going to be gone. I guess I'm just afraid of the unknown. This is a normal response to having the baby factory removed, right?! RIGHT!!! One of my coworkers said Friday, "I bet you're getting pretty scared right about now, huh?" I was like, "ummmm....YES!!!"

Maybe I just needed to vent about my fears in a place that I knew will listen. Don't get me wrong, my husband listens, but it's not the same. He's not a girl. He doesn't really understand, even though he really does try! He's been my absolute rock for the past few years. I wouldn't have made it through my cancer or our son's diagnosis without him. And he's been going through hell, too, worrying about me and Jo the way he has had to.

I'll stop whining now......btw, it will be LAVH/BSO, so if any of you have had that done I'd love to hear how it went for you and how much better your life is now! icon_smile.gif

25 replies
Mickey17 Posted 26 Jul 2009 , 1:47pm
post #2 of 26

OF COURSE you are scared. And it is totally normal.

Surgery is scary. They idea of having part of you gone is SCARY. Not knowing exactly how it is going to effect you is SCARY.

You have already been through a lot of scary things in your life and (probably have) had a lot of grief over some of those experiences. It is normal to grieve for your lost opportunities and the life that you thought you would have. And as someone who has (probably) done some of that in the past, you are more accutely aware of how hard it can be.

Deb_ Posted 26 Jul 2009 , 3:42pm
post #3 of 26

I agree, it's perfectly normal to be a little bit scared. It sounds like you've done your homework and researched other options, you didn't just jump into this.

All the woman I know who have had a hysterectomy all say "it's the best thing I ever did".

I'm going in this Thursday for an Endometral Ablation. I also have been having "girl problems" so my Dr. suggested this procedure for me, she says I'm the "perfect" candidate. (Whatever that is) icon_rolleyes.gif

My procedure is minor although I will have sedation anesthesia, and I'm going to the hospital to have it done, and guess what? I'M FREAKIN' OUT TOO!

We can "freak out" together!! icon_lol.gif

Sending you BIG HUGE ((((((HUGS)))))

jonahsmom Posted 26 Jul 2009 , 3:57pm
post #4 of 26

Big hugs right back to ya dkelly!

I researched this until I reached the end of the internet! icon_smile.gif I came across so many sites that said not to just take the docs word for it that you need a hysterectomy, BUT I pretty well knew I was going to have to have one before I went to see her. I had already looked at all the options. So, since I already had my mind made up that this was what I needed, it made the final decision easier.

Still pretty flippin' scary though!!!! Good luck with your procedure Thursday!

Deb_ Posted 26 Jul 2009 , 4:07pm
post #5 of 26

Thanks so much! Good luck to you too......I'll be thinking about ya! icon_biggrin.gif

umgrzfn Posted 26 Jul 2009 , 4:22pm
post #6 of 26

I didn't have an LAVH/BSO, but I did have a TAH. I as well was done having children, I have three 16, 14 and soon to be 5. I started having problems after my youngest and since I was done having kids, I opted for the Hyst. I still have my ovaries becasue, the deal with the dr was....since I'm fairly young, if they look healthy she would leave them alone. I was suppose to have an LAVH, but I had SOOOOO much scar tissue because of my c-sections that it just wasn't possible. It is normal to be nervous, our organs are part of us. Imagine how a guy would feel if his "baby factory" was going to be removed! icon_eek.gificon_surprised.gificon_confused.gif Good luck to you and I will be thinking about you!

JodieF Posted 26 Jul 2009 , 6:52pm
post #7 of 26

I had to have a hysterectomy at 39. My periods were always very heavy, but then I started a period that never stopped. I bled for 4 months, while I tried prescriptions and a D&C. I actually started bleeding again 2 days after the D&C. My hemoglobin got down to a 5, so the hysterectomy was the only option. I had my kids, so that wasn't an issue with me. I did have it vaginally and spent 1 day in the hospital. The surgery wasn't a big deal at all. I did keep my ovaries because of my age and the fact that it wasn't a disease situation or one where having the hormones would be a detriment to me..
The only pain I noticed after the surgery was that there was a painful pulling sensation whenever I pushed a grocery cart! Weird, eh? I had to pull the carts for months. Otherwise, the recovery was easy.
I have to say, I haven't missed my baby making bits one little bit! icon_rolleyes.gif

Good luck!

Jodie

suz3 Posted 27 Jul 2009 , 1:05am
post #8 of 26

I had a hysterectomy a bizillion years ago. I had similar issues to Jodie so I won't go into details. I heard all kinds of horror stories BUT it was an easy peasy recovery. I have felt awesome since. Good luck to you. I'll be thinking happy thoughts.
Susan

kayjess Posted 27 Jul 2009 , 6:48pm
post #9 of 26

Sending best wishes to you.. but I'm one of these that has had this procedure done and agree it was the best thing I EVER did!!! At the time I kept my overies, but have since had to have one of those removed too...my OB wanted me to keep mine as I was so young when I had my original surgery, and she didn't want me to have to take hormones as I'm adopted and don't know my medical history. So, while it is normal to be worried, it probably really is the best thing you can do. Also, so take easy on your recovery. It really does take EVERY BIT of the 6 weeks and then some that they tell you it will take. I didn't think it would take that long - I had had C-Sections with both of my girls, and I bounced back so quickly from those, that I thought this would be the same, and it just wasn't!! I got tired so easily - so everytime you feel tired - rest - if at all possible. Even after the 6 weeks, I could only go back to work for 1/2 days for another couple of weeks. As funny as it sounds, I found sneezing was the WORST thing (pain wise) even up to a few months after my surgery (and every once in a while now) and my surgery was 7 years ago.. and for about a year afterward, huge amount of walking used to give me discomfort for a day or so afterward.
Good Luck, and my thoughts and prayers will be with you!!!

kayjess Posted 27 Jul 2009 , 6:51pm
post #10 of 26

edited to delete duplicate post.

Jaimelt76 Posted 27 Jul 2009 , 8:18pm
post #11 of 26

I had to have a lavh 3 years ago when I was 29. I was so scared as well. I was done having kids and I couldn't take the girls problems anymore. I bled for 9 months after my youngest was born. Tried all the pills and D&C and none of it worked. So I went in for a hystorectomy as that was my only option. I do still have my ovaries as those were healthy. My uterus was litterly rotting the Dr. told me and that is why I had all the problems.
It helps if you have a good support system. My husband has been the best. I do have days that I regret having it done as I miss having a baby in the house. I know it was the right decision for me to have the surgery.
I wish you the best and do rest after the surgery.

Deb_ Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 12:16am
post #12 of 26

Good luck tomorrow jonahsmom!! I hope all goes well for you.
icon_wink.gif

jonahsmom Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 2:33am
post #13 of 26

Thanks for all the encouragement. I think what sucks the most is that I won't be able to get on here for a couple days!!! BOOOOO!!!!!!

I'll let you know how I'm feeling in a couple days when I'm home from the hospital!

fmcmulle Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 5:07pm
post #14 of 26

Good luck and I am sure everything will be fine. Being scared is part of the whole process. I had mine about 6 years ago and I like the majority of women, it was one of the best things I could have done. Another girl in my office had it done a few months ago and she says the same thing.
I wish you the best and take it easy.....hey do you have a laptop......lol
Talk soon
Faye

fmcmulle Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 5:08pm
post #15 of 26

Good luck and I am sure everything will be fine. Being scared is part of the whole process. I had mine about 6 years ago and I like the majority of women, it was one of the best things I had done. Another girl in my office had it done a few months ago and she says the same thing.
I wish you the best and take it easy.....hey do you have a laptop......lol
Talk soon
Faye

sadsmile Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 6:10pm
post #16 of 26

Good luck to you sweetie! I would be scared also! One thing you should look into is Bio-Identical hormones. They are soo much better and don't mess with your system as much as the hormones made from animals or artificially.

shooterstrigger Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 1:02am
post #17 of 26

I will pray for your recovery. Sometimes we don't have a lot of options. One thing you said I wanted to comment on. Removing the overies DOES NOT remove your chance of ovarian cancer. At best it will lower your risk but most often it only makes it more difficult to diagnose. Your doctor can help you decide if you need to remove your overies or not. But don't do it thinking you can't get cancer. Bioidentical hormones are a sometimes a good option. they helped my mother prevent a hysteroctomy. Good luck.

shooterstrigger Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 1:05am
post #18 of 26

I will pray for your recovery. Sometimes we don't have a lot of options. One thing you said I wanted to comment on. Removing the overies DOES NOT remove your chance of ovarian cancer. At best it will lower your risk but most often it only makes it more difficult to diagnose. Your doctor can help you decide if you need to remove your overies or not. But don't do it thinking you can't get cancer. Bioidentical hormones are a sometimes a good option. they helped my mother prevent a hysteroctomy. Good luck.

jonahsmom Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 10:55pm
post #19 of 26

Hey all!

Thank you so much for the encouragement. My surgery yesterday went very well. She showed me pics this morning of my ovaries. The left one was perfectly normal but the right one was WAY wonky! I'm glad to know I didn't do this for no reason! Also, apparently she gives a shot during surgery to make the bleeding around the incisions less and it didn't work for me. She said I'm an easy bleeder and she can understand how hard it's been for me the past several months. I'm just glad that I didn't do this for no reason.

It's really strange to think that a part of me is gone, but I'm really glad I did it.

Thanks again for all the encouragement. I can't wait to start baking again!

Deb_ Posted 29 Jul 2009 , 11:40pm
post #20 of 26

I'm glad the surgery went well, that's good news.

Be sure to take it easy, get lots of rest, and let hubby wait on you for a while.....that's the best part! icon_biggrin.gif

tab26852 Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 7:40pm
post #21 of 26

glad everything went okay I had a complete hysterectomy 3 yrs ago and everything went fine. I want to give you a web site that is free to use and it is a wonderful site you can talk to other women who have had the same thing and can answer just about any questions about before and after a hysterectomy it has helped me so much I'll be praying for your recovery. www.hystersisters.com

sadsmile Posted 30 Jul 2009 , 8:44pm
post #22 of 26

I'm just checking in on you-hoping you are recovering OK.

dailey Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 3:24pm
post #23 of 26

glad to hear all went well!

Kiki74 Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 11:22pm
post #24 of 26

I'm glad to hear all is well. Last July I had an endometrial ablation. This past May I had a hysterectomy. I can definitely understand how you feel. The surgery was complicated and required 3 surgeons because of scar tissue. I definitely recommend that you take off the entire 6-8wks. I went back to work after 4 and my butt was dragging for quite awhile. Sit back, relax and let others take care of you for awhile. Hopefully you'll be feeling better soon! My thoughts are with you! icon_biggrin.gif

jonahsmom Posted 1 Aug 2009 , 2:45am
post #25 of 26

Thanks again for all the support!

I can definitely tell that I need to take it a little easier. My hubby took me to a movie today, which you wouldn't think would be exhausting, but it totally was! And just sitting with my laptop is exhausting, too. I think I'm going to go off laptop this weekend and just nap a lot. I'm not even hungry, but I'm eating anyway. Because of everything that's been pumped into my body I'm already about 5 lbs higher than usual. Which I suppose SHOULDN'T bother me but it DOES.

What I really want to do is drink a boatload of water this weekend. I think that will boost my energy as well. I always feel better when I drink a lot of water. I start my vitamin regimen again tomorrow, so that should help as well.

Question to those of you who've been there. Did you notice that you did better as far as pain during the day and then at night all hell broke loose? That's kind of how I'm feeling. I feel sick and my stomach looks and feels like I'm 7 months pregnant. Blech. During the day I felt pretty decent and then as the afternoon wore on I was like, OMG I am sooooo tired and crampy. And I so need to go to bed, but can't sleep. Maybe hubby will rub my back so I can get some rest tonight...

Kiki74 Posted 1 Aug 2009 , 12:47pm
post #26 of 26

It always seemed to get worse as the day wore on. I would be feeling pretty good for awhile and then be miserable at night and not be able to sleep. It will get better! Everything is gonna be exhausting for awhile. My doc told me when I get tired it's my body saying I've had enough for now and I should just rest ALOT! Hang in there! Thinking of you! icon_biggrin.gif

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