Puzzle Solved..my Son Is Dyslexic

Lounge By sweetcravings Updated 28 Jul 2009 , 7:48pm by sweetcravings

sweetcravings Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 11:25am
post #1 of 22

I posted some time ago that i had concerns about my son and that we were going to have him evaluated. Well, we just got back the report and he is indeed dyslexic. icon_sad.gificon_sad.gif I have to say a part of me is relieved to figure out what exactly was going on with my son all these years. The other part of me is incredibly sad, worried, overwhelmed. Probably why i'm typing this now. I just have to talk to someone about it.

Now i have to go into the school in September and set up a meeting so that we can have special things implemented for him in the classroom. I'm just so worried that he will be centered out and made fun of. One of the recommendations that the psychologist made is he use a computer..well...there is another boy in my son's class that uses one and my son says that the kids make fun of him. The kids believe he is 'cheating', and has easier work. I could see my son's face get sad when i told him he will be trying that out as well. It breaks my heart. icon_cry.gif
I guess as a mom i don't want to see my son struggle so we need to take these steps to help him academically but at the same time i worry about his esteem. When we got home last night i didn't know exactly if i should tell him he has 'dyslexia'. I didn't want to scare him. We just told him that the what they found was that he definitely struggles in certain areas of learning and I gave him examples. We told him that he just learns in a different way than the other kids and that we were going to help him. We never used the word dyslexia.
I guess i'm just mad at the school for letting my son slip through the cracks. icon_mad.gif I mean i've been voicing concerns since he was in grade 3 and each and every teacher just pushed my concerns off. Not a single one up until this year even suggested an educational assess. Apparently our school board only pays for 2children per school a year to evaluate and they only pick the most glaring kids for evaluations. My son is loved by all the teachers, he's not a problem in the class so that is likelly why he wasn't tested earlier. We paid out of pocket for this, and would've done it back then had someone told us about it. I just am so angry that he has been struggling needlessly for two years.
I'm sad that my son has dyslexia..will he be able to keep up with his work? will he be able to thrive in spite of this challenge? I know there are worse things in life than this, but for right now this seems pretty big and is incrediblly overwhelming for me. I did get some comfort when the psycholgist told us that he had many strengths that will help him get through this and that his 'challenges' are pretty mild compared to some she has seen. In fact she said he was a real challenge to figure out. His testing in some spots were all over the charts. One test he would excel at and another he would fail miserably. It's so weird..one thing she told us was that he reads, to read, getting from the first word to the last. He doesn't actually listen to himself read thus the comprehension problems. Well last night he read a chapter in a new book he bought and i asked him, "can you tell me about the chapter?". He then went on for ten minutes telling me every minute detail of the chapter. I swear my husband and i couldn't believe all the things he was telling us. I just don't get it. icon_confused.gif This totally went against everything the psychologist told us.
What does one believe? I trust she knows what she is talking about,but could... she be wrong?

Well, i'm just rambling on now. My mind is racing and i could barely sleep last night. I'm exhausted and the day hasn't even fully begun yet. icon_sad.gif thanks for letting me talk about it.

21 replies
mbelgard Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 12:27pm
post #2 of 22

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the school only testing two kids a year. icon_eek.gif


My BIL is a severe dyslexic who didn't get diagnosed until he was in about 7th grade or so. He blames it on being in a Catholic school during his elementary years, they would just pass him on and never evaluated him. From what I understand he couldn't read at all when he was diagnosed and I'd say no that he reads about like a first or second grader should because it was too late by the time he got help to do much for him. I'd say right now he reads about like a first grader should, I know that my youngest reads far better than his uncle and he's reading at about a 3rd grade level right now.

I know that my BIL would tell you that looking back he would pick being teased as a child so he could read now. It really bothers him and he worried about when his daughter gets old enough to know that he can't help her with school work. He's a trucker so he isn't around long enough to take an adult literacy course and he needs someone who knows how to work with his disablity so he can't just have my sister teach him.



I would personally tell your son what he was diagnosed with. He's old enough to grasp things and it's better that he knows he has a learning issue than for him to think he's just dumb or something.



I'm sorry that your son has this problem but I am glad that you know what's going on now.

Doug Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 12:43pm
post #3 of 22

and he's now part of a group that includes:
Cher
Tom Cruise
Anderson Cooper (CNN)
Jay Leno

and many others (including me)

Being dyslexic is NO excuse to fail or to settle for less than your best.

Don't write -- word process (and turn off the alarm sound on the spell check!)
Get a calculator or master Excel

and do the very thing he probably hates the most -----

READ, READ, READ!!!!

any thing --yes even the latest comic book. Start with simple, build up to more challenging. (So what if he reads little kid picture books -- hey I still do; they're FUN)

treat it as a NON-issue. A well, we all have things we do well (maybe his is run, jump, draw, sing, etc.) and some that are more of a challenge.

ps -- there's a growing body of research that shows music lessons DO have a positive effect on reading ability. I know that all those piano and later organ lessons and singing in the choir (the only thing I kept up!) certainly made be able to scan a page faster and pull in the needed information. You might try those as another method of helping him. And yes, even drummers and guitarist have to be able to read music (just buy earplugs for yourself!)

----
yes, it will be a struggle at times (oh, the horror of math and spelling for me. I still have a lot of sympathy for my math teachers!). BUT, with patience and practice, he will become proficient enough to go on to very great things.

Interesting to note how many dyslexics become very excellent VERBAL storytellers. Work on developing his ORAL communication abilities which I bet are already very high!

ziggytarheel Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 12:46pm
post #4 of 22

I highly recommend that you become your son's biggest advocate by becoming highly educated on the subject. Don't waste a lot of energy being upset with the system or the teachers. If your expert found diagnosing him very difficult and you are now even uncertain of what you've been told, it is quite easy to see why teachers wouldn't necessarily see this as dyslexia.

Anything with a difficult diagnosis is subject to differing diagnosis and opinions. I've found that numerous times with various medical ailments. You have to learn everything you can about your son's behavior, strengths and weaknesses. You also have to learn everything you can about dyslexia, how it manifests itself, what techniques work and who they work best for. No doctor is going to spend as much time with your son as you are. You need to know enough to recognize things that just don't seem right that any doctor or educator might recommend.

Please don't wait for school to start. I am sure there are many things you can do today to start on the right road. You want to be well equipped when school does start to be able to assess what works and doesn't. You need to feel in control in this situation and you need to be able to instill hope and confidence in your son.

There are many successful people with dyslexia. There is no reason your son can't be one of them. You can do this! icon_smile.gif

michellenj Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 2:04pm
post #5 of 22

I agree with the others. Educate yourself.

My husband is dyslexic, and he was popular, athletic, and made good grades in school. He now owns his own company. I think a lot of it had to do with the way his parents and school handled it.

Hang in there, mom.

indydebi Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 2:38pm
post #6 of 22

Just wanted to add I understand your relief in knowing what the issue is. Fighting the unknown is scary, but at least now you know what you're up against and can take the proper and positive steps to help him get the assistance he needs.

Dont' spend any time regretting what you didn't do for the past two years. You start today with all the positive things you and your son can do together. thumbs_up.gif

Sox-n-Pats Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 4:52pm
post #7 of 22

Just another post of encouragement and from parent of a child with a reading disorder as well. Although, I'm a teacher so I might be able to offer a bit of a different perspective. I feel your frustration.

1st- tell your son he has been diagnosed with dyslexia. He can't advocate for himself unless he is educated as well as you. In the end, you can be the best advocate for you child, but nothing will happen unless he advocates for himself. He will be much better off in the end- and a lot more self confident. He won't be teased if he is an advocate and educated.

2nd- dyslexia is one of the hardest things to diagnose. and 46% of the time, it's a wrong diagnosis. So while I understand your relief, don't be totally consumed by the "diagnosis". It's not a label.

My daughter was a great reader in Kinder and 1st. Then began to struggle in 2nd. By mid 2nd grade she was making no progress. They wanted to test her for special education. I said no, she had 100% comprehension and recall it just took her 20 minutes to read what others read in 5. We were all baffled. But in a world of "words read per minute", according to the tests she was reading at a kindergarten level.

So we found this through a nurse. www.irlen.com She has Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome. But the informal name is Irlen Syndrome. Her brain is unable to process black print on white paper. When she looks at a book or paper the words and numbers bounce. On the website under 'view sample distortions' she sees words like 'shaky', but it's a bit more severe. Can you imagine reading like that?

What a godsend!! this was. She had to use a colored screen over her work, and her teacher had to copy some assignments on blue paper (her color) if it was reading and writing together. She began to make progress.

After we were sure this was helping (and I put her in my 4th grade class to make sure she really worked and got reading help) we went and bought the glasses. Now she just wears her tinted lenses all day.

Each class I went in and educated the class, explained about her color overlay and why she needed it. I went in and explained about her glasses and how they weren't sunglasses, but were there to help her eyes see correctly. How sometimes she'll need breaks to rest her eyes, and how sometimes she may go sit in the hall away from the flouresant lights. I educated the teachers on the best way to help her with her reading and made sure they understood her educational plan (and I will do it for middle school as well).

She has never been teased. And she looks pretty cute in her glasses as well (I'll put her picture in my photos).

It wasn't an immediate 'cure', she still had to work at reading. Her brain had to adjust and learn how to be relaxed while reading print.

She is going into 6th grade this year (she's 11) and will be in accelerated reading. She tested at a 9th grade level. 3 levels above instead of 2 years below.

She was diagnosed 4 years ago, and at the end of this school year was the FIRST time she came to me and said- Mom, this was the best book ever, you need to read it!. (Devil's Arithmetic)

I cried. I still cry.

OK- I just wrote a book! Can you tell I'm an advocate for my child?!!! But so is she. She will stand up for herself and her needs like nobody's business. She sits in on her accomodation meetings and adds her input. She makes sure substitute teachers know her needs. She knows about her syndrome and she can explain it. She knows her rights.

Be careful though. Pushing reading because you think he needs more practice can actually be bad. He already hates it- doing more will only cause more frustration. He needs to learn strategies first, before he can even begin to read small books.

I will tell you, though, that the Irlen method helps most forms of dyslexia. It might be something to look into.

indydebi Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 5:05pm
post #8 of 22

wow, sox, that was very interesting! I had a night college class with a guy who photocopied his textbook and highlighted the entire thing with a yellow hi-liter. He said he could read it better. I'll bet he didn't understand why (based on our conversations) ... he just knew it worked.

I often wondered why he didn't just copy it on yellow paper, though! icon_biggrin.gif He went thru a LOT of hi-lighters! icon_lol.gif

Sox-n-Pats Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 5:27pm
post #9 of 22

It's weird isn't it.

I bet a lot of people don't realize they have it. At first my husband and I thought the nurse was wacked! But we took her for the assessment just to rule 'something' out.

Now, I am so glad we did! After more research, it makes so much sense. So many people get headaches, see blurry text, don't like bright lights...... but don't realize it's the path way from their eye to their brain.

Cassie's color is blue grey- as opposed to the yellow highlighter. But that's great. He was coming up with strategies on his own.

OK- since my daughter isn't a cake- don't think I should put her in my photos and thus the gallery. and I can't get it resized small enough to be my avitar. She's in my myspace page though if you want to check it out.

Here's the direct link: <a href="http://www.myspace.com/104012823">http://www.myspace.com/104012823</a>

7yyrt Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 6:25pm
post #10 of 22

I'm so glad you found out!
My daughter is dyslexic as well. She had to work so hard at spelling, that she is now the best speller I've ever seen. You can't keep her nose out of books, and she writes and draws amazingly.
She never did get Math, except for the things like balancing a checkbook etc.
She had problems expressing herself, not comprehending things, the story of your son and the book sounds just like her.
-
I agree, tell him he is dyslexic; many people have that, it isn't anything for him to worry about. As long as he knows it's just the way his brain works, there shouldn't be any problems. Peoples brains work differently.
He may need to go to another room for math and/or reading, again many kids do that.
You may need to create a routine for almost everything. Mnemonics are helpful. Lists are good, as well.

-Tubbs Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 6:35pm
post #11 of 22

My DS (now 12) has learning disabilities. I also was worried about what to tell him - Would I make things worse for him? Would he think he was somehow 'broken'? I asked the Ed. Psych. about it, and he said to be honest, tell George that his brain just worked a little differently to other people's, and that made certain things hard for him. He said to be sure to play up George's strengths, which are many and varied.

George has a laptop in class, and all the kids who don't are REALLY envious!! The class also has a very strict non-bullying policy, and they explain learning disabilities to ensure that everyone understands how levelling the playing field works (that way there is no more talk of 'cheating')

It's a shock to be told what, deep down, you've always known, but getting help is the largest part of the battle. Good for you for advocating for your son. Continue to do so, because nobody else will.

BTW, my DH is also dyslexic, and has a BSc and an MSc. He's never going to be able to write a novel, but he's an awesome engineer!

sweetcravings Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 7:52pm
post #12 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbelgard

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the school only testing two kids a year. icon_eek.gif


My BIL is a severe dyslexic who didn't get diagnosed until he was in about 7th grade or so. He blames it on being in a Catholic school .




Seriously, i was shocked when the psychologist told me this. She works for the public school board and she did 80 last year in one school alone. Whenever there is a concern they would just direct the child to her for testing. I couldn't believe that there was such a difference between school boards. Makes me want to march down to the catholic school board and give them an earful. How dare they put money before our kids needs. I can only imagine how many kids are needlessly struggling because of this policy. She also told me that she works for a public high school and have been getting an influx of catholic school kids coming to the school who are struggling. When she asked what school they came from, the majority is the catholic school board. She said one child was in grade ten and reading at grade two level. icon_eek.gif How can the 'system' just move these kids along without even questioning or finding answers? Makes me wicked angry.

sweetcravings Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 8:23pm
post #13 of 22

Wow, everyone...you guys are so wonderfully supportive..i needed that today so thank you from the bottom of my heart. icon_biggrin.gif

Well, i took your advise and told my son that he has dyslexia, and explained yet again it's just his brain works different than other kids. He was totally fine with it, and said, "hey, there is a girl on disney weekenders that has that!" He said that she just learns different than the other kids on the show. I was relieved that he didn't seem upset about it. I figure you all are right, he has nothing to be ashamed of and he needs to know that this is a 'real' problem and we will have to work hard at it.

Doug, thanks so much for sharing your story. I am so relieved by yours and others stories of people with this and having a successful careers. I guess we all just want the best for our kids. The psychologist did recommend many of the things you did so we will are definitely going to implement them.

7yyrt, ah spelling that was a huge weakness of my son's. He's at an early grade 3 according to her report. He's going into grade 6 this year..yikes. One good thing she mentioned is, that although he may struggle all the time with this, at least the computer will make this alot easier to deal with. What person doesn't use spell check? Shocking results none the less.

Sox n Pubs..thanks so much for sharing your daughters story. It is so wonderful to hear of her successes and love of reading now. thumbs_up.gif I'm kinda surprized and confused to read that so many are mis diagnosed with dyslexia. icon_surprised.gificon_confused.gif
Even the psychologist said you will not see the work dyslexia in my report because i don't believe in labels. We need to look at specific problem areas and work on them. She said, if you want to learn more about this, dyslexia is a good place to start. I was definitely relieved to learn that he has a milder form of a learning disability. I guess at this point we do kinda question it because he has such huge fluctuations in his performace. There are days he can totally convince us he knows his stuff and has no problems.

Today we went out to the library. I picked up some books on the topic. He picked out books too. You know as much as he dislikes, "homework' etc..he does get so excited to go get books and has a pretty good desire to read if we find a good book. I mean yesterday he read a whole chapter out of a book while we were away at the appointment. We were not there to tell him to do it, he just did. He gets enthusiastic about it..so he definitely doesn't hate reading, he just has to be in the mood to do it. Today he read a whole book outloud to me about police vehicles. It wasn't advanced by any means but he read through the whole thing without complaint. He actually enjoyed it. As he was reading i asked him to listen to himself, if it doesn't sound right start again. Surprizingly he picked up when he said something wrong. The one thing i did notice was the adding of words like 'the' and 'and' and changing the endings of words. Each time he did that i told him to go back and see if he could figure out where he went wrong, and many times he did. I told him to use his finger to read and that helped. These types of things are what kinda alerted me to a possible problem when he first started reading years ago so it wasn't anything we didn't already know. We've always done alot of it together. So i guess we will just have to keep working at it at home. I just hope that the school will be just as helpful. Makes me kinda worried that maybe they will say they are doing something and then not do it just because the workload is heavy. I really feel for teachers but we've had several along the years that have been lacking any sort of enthusiasm for their work...that worries me.
I plan to go into the school a week or so before school is to start and get the ball rolling. I just hope we are on the right path. Who said parenting was easy..big sigh... icon_smile.gif

Thanks again everyone, you guys are the best.

Suzanne

edited to remove the word 'useless'. Perhaps that was too strong of a word to use. My son had two male teachers, one in grade 4, the other grade 5 and both just seemed like they didn't care. We were incredibly frustrated with them and really feel those were wasted years in my son's education. As you can see we have some hard feelings about that. Sorry if i offended anyone with my careless use of words.

Doug Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 10:04pm
post #14 of 22

follow up:

I never said to FORCE to read. I was never forced. Books made available and no pressure to read. Just read what you want, when you want, as fast as you want/can. Which could explain why we had a running account at the library for overdue books! Finally settled up at end of high school!

but any "exercise" is beneficial -- just like walking helps with health, it doesn't have to be jogging/running. and with slow steady exercise comes proficiency. By 4th grade I could read at 8th grade -- spell at 2nd and do math at about 3rd. Still read like the dickens (but NOT Dickens -- he's just too much of dickens to read!) even if I do have to read a sentence or paragraph 2x or even 3x (found myself doing that a lot with the Harry Potter series!!! I never even caught on to Diagon Alley or the mirror Erised until one of my students pointed it out!)

so yes, read. but at HIS pace and what he desires (and set up an revolving account with the library! icon_rolleyes.gif )

-----

since there was NO concept of dyslexia when I was growing up (diagnosed as an adult when someone read my writing, saw my spelling and witnessed my struggles with numbers, especially number inversions).

So, I just had to "make-do" and learn or invent "tricks" --- so learned all those spelling guides like "i before e except after c or as sounded as "a" as in neighbor or weigh" (of course I was an adult before I finally mastered spelling "receive" as was in my 30s before I, a drama and English teacher (yes, one how can't spell!) mastered how to spell rehearsal by saying "RE - hear - SAL" (oh yah, listen Sal forget all his lines again!) and I still say Wed - Nes - Day to get that correct, and Anti - Que. Got lots of them.

in math i came up with some of the oddest trick like adding columns of numbers like they were in a tournament elimination bracket and adding number left to right, not right to left (add thousands, then hundreds, then tens, then ones -- hey it works for me!)

another trick for me -- visualizing in 3D in my head! If I can "see" it there, I can make sense of it. I've used that for SO much...it's just the way I think (and then we wonder why I do all those cake visualizations -- now if ONLY they'd turn out as well in real life as they do in my mind's eye -- common complaint for us all!) (you should have seen all the doodles i did in notebooks to help me understand and learn!)

find his personal bag of tricks -- but try to let him develop them himself as much as possible. What works for me or you think will work for him could flop entirely.

Challenge him to invent methods that lead to understanding and mastery.

(

----

That COLOR stuff works (me of the yellow highlighter crowd too -- jee IndyDebi, now why didn't I think of that!?!?!? just copy on yellow paper -- expect highlighting helps me pull out only essential data)

here's a site that sells a product some of my students use and the EC (exceptional children) department specialists are ga-ga about.

instead of glasses -- ruler size or full page size overlays -- portable and less obvious

http://www.crossboweducation.com/Eye_Level_Reading_Ruler.htm

there's other places I'm sure that have similar or the same.

------

if disorganization is a problem or sensory overload -- try color coding. I've done this for the LONGEST time -- certain kinds of info in certain colors. Then I only have to look for the color to find the info. Works great on calendars! (orange = church, purple = work, blue = me time, green = choir, teal = shows/concerts, etc.) Heck, I still organize my all my shirts and pants by color -- yes they hang in a specific color order as well as style order. It works, leave me alone!

would do this with my notes in school (thank heavens I don't have to have all those Schaffer fountain pens with colored ink anymore -- they leaked everywhere! these new jell pens are so much eaiser -- 1 set at home, 3 sets at work plus markers!)

try it ALL -- keep what works, and move on from what doesn't

------

and a note of florescent lights --

most people don't realize they FLASH at 120 cycles per second -- way past what you can consciously see (that's why movies only have to flash 24 frames a second).

this can be a major issue for many people.
I know of one student that has to have the lights turned off at times as it can induce a seizure in those who are epileptic (diagnosed or not)

this flashing, also present in standard old style TV's can be a major cause of eye strain and then headaches....and then...

----

and there is ONE major benefit to have him "classified" as being LD (learning disabled) --

you CAN force they issue of "reasonable" accommodation.

in his case you can request he gets extra time on tests so not boxed in to reading at a speed that is too fast for him.

could insist they supply the colored rulers or overlays or it has to be copied onto colored paper (I had a student who I had to put all handouts on 11x17 sheets for her!)

could even insist a "reader" has to be available if he is just plain stumped after trying to read something a reasonable number of times himself.

most teachers will not care if he's taking longer to read, using colors, or other aids.
They want him to succeed to.

And knowledge of the challenge (NOT the problem, Not the defect, Not the handicap, etc.) is the first step into meeting the challenge and succeeding.

----

funny -- actually sad -- how we so often focus on what is WRONG with the child instead of what is right.

and yet -- who of us doesn't know (thank you Caesar Milan, et. al.) that way to get the behavior you want is with focusing on what is RIGHT.

ok, he's dyslexic. lah-dee-dah. This too shall pass (worry about starting to date icon_surprised.gif or learning to drive icon_eek.gif ).


With time, patience, praise, and just good ol' stick-to-it-ness he will not just survive, he will thrive!!

------


here's a page of inspiration:

http://www.dyslexia.com/famous.htm

pretty good company to be in!!!!

sweetcravings Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 11:13pm
post #15 of 22

Doug...i wanna reach the screen and give you a big 'ol hug. Thank you, thank you for taking all the time to post your words of wisdom. You have given me so much to go on.

I guess i was feeling a bit lost. I mean school doesn't start until September and i still have a month of 'free' time with him. Would it best find him a tutor and do additional academic work to try and make up for lost time? or should i just work at home with him, doing the things he enjoys?

It's funny many of your suggestions i have used throughout my life too..highlighting similar groupings, adding the thousands, hundreds et.c.(not that it helps a great deal..i'm brutal in math ;0) ) Using the ruler to keep my place. These were things i used to help me keep things organized. In fact some would say i am overly organized...hmm maybe i had learning challenges too and didn't even know it.lol
The teacher did try the overlays this past year but found it more of a problem. The ones the school provided her with were very dark in color so he could barely see the words beneath it. I will have to look into the other colors.

I just love your outlook on this whole situation. You really have made me focus on what's important. Your positive attitude is infectious. Thank you for sharing your story and experiences with me, it means so much. I looked at the link of all the people with dyslexia and was shocked. These are very successful people. I had no idea they had learning disabilities. I do know that no one wants my son to succeed more than me, so i will make it happen even if i get a full head of grey hair doing it. ;0) Everyone educator who has meet my son has said in conferences with me that he will become something great. That he is very special and has so many wonderful qualities..i couldn't agree more. lol ;0) So i guess we just have to patient and work with him.

You have been a wonderful shoulder to lean on today...hugs.

Suzanne

Doug Posted 24 Jul 2009 , 11:51pm
post #16 of 22

summer is for play.....a VERY important form of learning.

(just love reading all the new research proving that doing away with recess in elementary school was so WRONG and bad for children, especially for boys!)

as for overlays --

can make your own, even in a custom color.

get ink jet printable transparency sheets. (any office supply will have them and even Sam's Club might)

print on them -- can do all one color --- or print out several different bands of color to find exact color that helps the most.

can leave them full size or cut into smaller strips -- experiment to find what works best.

these will not be permanent tho, as if they get wet they will bleed. Can try an laminate them (do hot style as it bonds better with less distortion) but that has a glossy finish that may prove annoying.

if this works, cheap enough to just keep making new ones (could even add a new inspirational saying to each one! No mommy love notes -- speaking as a boy -- ick! -- yes we love our moms but don't need teasing about being a mommy's boy!)

-----

one more thought on reading -- yes!!!! reading aloud is great practice. keep that up. he can read to you, the dog, the cat. Encourage him to have fun with it by creating voices for the different characters and making sound effects too. (sort of creating a whole cartoon world -- who knows could grow to be the next Mel Blanc!)

and read out loud with him. You some of the characters, him others, you the narrator, etc.

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and please don't fall into the "he needs fixing" trap (he's not a dog!)

all too often that becomes the attitude in lots of things.

rather use the "he needs cultivating" mind set.

a rose needs tending, care, watering, fertilizing to blossom -- no fixing.
(pruning is not fixing -- it's discouraging that bad growth and promoting the good growth --- no you can't wallop your sister!)

find his patch of good earth, water with encouragement, shade with understanding and pour on the sunshine of praise and you'll have a beauty of a young man.

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fixed the link in the previous post

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glad to help

(now if I could only blame my dyslexia for me hatred of housekeeping!)

Deb_ Posted 25 Jul 2009 , 12:22am
post #17 of 22

Wow, everyone, this is all so interesting.

Suzanne, I have no doubt that your Son will thrive and have a successful school year...how can he not with you as his Mom! He is very fortunate to have you.


I wish you all the very best!

nannie Posted 25 Jul 2009 , 2:48am
post #18 of 22

Hi

Coming late to this thread.

I'm 56 and was diagnosed with dyslexia in my 40s

When I was growing up, I was just "slow" and "didn't apply myself"

It was a huge relief to finally have a diagnosis and understand it wasn't my fault.

I'll never be good at math or spelling but I am an amazing salesperson and because of my verbal skills have had a successful career.



Best of luck to you and your son.

kayjess Posted 27 Jul 2009 , 7:12pm
post #19 of 22

I completely understand where you are coming from.. I went through the same thing with my daughter this past year... I had asked since she was in the 2nd grade for her to be tested, but my school won't do until until they start failing a class - and we worked so much with her at home and checked all of her assignments, that it kept her grades high enough that it wasn't an issue until this last year (5th grade). I actually said to the school counselor "Well excuse me for being a good parent".. I mean really... you do everything you can to keep your kids from failing!! My daughter not only has letter dyslexia but also number (discalculia - not sure I spelled that right)... icon_rolleyes.gif
We went through all the same ideas.. computer (didn't work for classroom stuff, but it is GREAT for homework and reports).. also make them find the "color" that helps your son... there seems to be one for every child.. my daughters was an acqua blue... they has an overlay in that color that she lays over books to read and her homework and class work was copied on that color of paper... as strage as it sounds it really does work!!! I'll never forgot when my daughter was reading shortly after she got her overlay, and I asked her if it was helping.. and she said "Yes, the letters don't look all cracked and spread out anymore".. I was like "If they looked like that, why didn't you tell us?".. and her answer "I didn't know that wasn't how they were supposed to look."... I can tell you I had a long cry over that one... felt like the worse parent ever for a while icon_cry.gif
Tell your son that while he probably will feel self concious for a while... my daughter did about having stuff on blue paper... I told her when others asked about it, to just say "It helps me read better"... for the most part kids are just curious...not really mean... and she is finally old enough to understand that while it might not be great right now - in the grand scheme of her whole life - this really isn't going to matter right now if kids think it is strange that she has to have blue paper... I've seen such a marked increase in her reading.. this is someone that used to cry over having to read a few pages, and now she will read a couple of books a month!!
One last thing... see if your school's speech teacher or someone in the school can do something called the "Wilson program" with your son.. it has made a HUGE difference with my daughter, and she actually ended up on the honor roll by the end of the school year!!! (6th grade)YEAH!!! It has really been a tough couple of school years but there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel!!
Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions... if I can help in any way I'm happy too....
O.K... off my soap box now.... LOL icon_lol.gif

kayjess Posted 27 Jul 2009 , 7:15pm
post #20 of 22

I completely understand where you are coming from.. I went through the same thing with my daughter this past year... I had asked since she was in the 2nd grade for her to be tested, but my school won't do until until they start failing a class - and we worked so much with her at home and checked all of her assignments, that it kept her grades high enough that it wasn't an issue until this last year (5th grade). I actually said to the school counselor "Well excuse me for being a good parent".. I mean really... you do everything you can to keep your kids from failing!! My daughter not only has letter dyslexia but also number (discalculia - not sure I spelled that right)... icon_rolleyes.gif
We went through all the same ideas.. computer (didn't work for classroom stuff, but it is GREAT for homework and reports).. also make them find the "color" that helps your son... there seems to be one for every child.. my daughters was an acqua blue... they has an overlay in that color that she lays over books to read and her homework and class work was copied on that color of paper... as strage as it sounds it really does work!!! I'll never forgot when my daughter was reading shortly after she got her overlay, and I asked her if it was helping.. and she said "Yes, the letters don't look all cracked and spread out anymore".. I was like "If they looked like that, why didn't you tell us?".. and her answer "I didn't know that wasn't how they were supposed to look."... I can tell you I had a long cry over that one... felt like the worse parent ever for a while icon_cry.gif
Tell your son that while he probably will feel self concious for a while... my daughter did about having stuff on blue paper... I told her when others asked about it, to just say "It helps me read better"... for the most part kids are just curious...not really mean... and she is finally old enough to understand that while it might not be great right now - in the grand scheme of her whole life - this really isn't going to matter right now if kids think it is strange that she has to have blue paper... I've seen such a marked increase in her reading.. this is someone that used to cry over having to read a few pages, and now she will read a couple of books a month!!
One last thing... see if your school's speech teacher or someone in the school can do something called the "Wilson program" with your son.. it has made a HUGE difference with my daughter, and she actually ended up on the honor roll by the end of the school year!!! (6th grade)YEAH!!! It has really been a tough couple of school years but there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel!!
Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions... if I can help in any way I'm happy too....
O.K... off my soap box now.... LOL icon_lol.gif

Sox-n-Pats Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 5:16am
post #21 of 22

Kayjess..."I'll never forgot when my daughter was reading shortly after she got her overlay, and I asked her if it was helping.. and she said "Yes, the letters don't look all cracked and spread out anymore".. I was like "If they looked like that, why didn't you tell us?".. and her answer "I didn't know that wasn't how they were supposed to look."... I can tell you I had a long cry over that one... felt like the worse parent ever for a while"

ME TOO!!

OMG. I still tear up when I tell people. My daughter went to school the next day and read to the reading specialist and SHE cried too!

You need to read the book "Thank you Mr. Faulker" by Patricia Paulka. I cry every time I read it. This year, my principal read it to us during a meeting, and while some others were crying- mine were crocodile tears and I was sniveling like a baby!!!

My Daughter got into Accelerated Reading for 6th grade. (I'm tearing up just thinking how far she came because of a blue-grey overlay and blue copy paper)

She's doing even much better with the glasses though- if you can imagine that!

sweetcravings Posted 28 Jul 2009 , 7:48pm
post #22 of 22

Kayjess...

Thanks for sharing your daughter's story and your experience. This has been pretty overwheleming and i just didn't even know where to start. Information and stories such as yours is sooo helpful.
I'm so happy that your daughter is thriving in school now. Isn't it sickening how certain kids just get overlooked. icon_sad.gif I spoke with my son's school teacher just a few days back and we talked for a long time. She has been wonderful throughout and shed alot of light on school education in the catholic system. After speaking with her i wasn't even so sure i want my son to continue in a catholic school. It's appauling some of the stuff she told me. Did you know that the teachers CAN'T give kids a "D"..they have been told not too? icon_eek.gif Well how in the heck can a parent have a true understanding of how their child is doing without accurate grading. Then she had mentioned that the teachers ARE NOT suppose to even mention testing for kids to the parents. They are told they are to say nothing about it, even if the child is struggling beyond belief. Soooo again, the parent (like me) who had concerns from early on are never told it is an 'option'. So if a parent asks, they are to give them no advise or suggest they should be tested. So that just put me over the edge.. icon_mad.gif WTF the school board clearly doesn't care about the struggling kids. They just want to look the other way. She told me that although they are told not to do that, she does, and is clearly breaking the rules. She says, she care about 'her' kids and can't just look the other way. BUT>>new teachers or those who maybe don't want to get in trouble follow those guidelines and kids are falling through the cracks, big time. I mean i shouldn't be surprized since the board will only fund 2kids per school, per year to be tested for learnig difficulties. To me that sends a big message of we don't care. It is all so shocking to me. Thank god i found a teacher that listened to our concerns, evaluated my son, and guided us. I can only imagine what a nightmare grade six would have been if we didn't know what we know now.

I have to say i'm still kinda fluctuatiing between sadness and happiness. I mean, i'm glad to know how to help him but i'm also kinda sad that for whatever reason his has this new challenge facing him.

I went out today and bought some of that colored film for reading. He said the teacher tried a few colors at school and yellow worked good, so that's what i bought. We have also been practising typing the corect way on the computer in hopes that by the time he uses it for school he will spend more time on the work and not learning where all the keys are. Then we have been doing daily reading. He enjoys this. I don't have to convice him, he has always liked reading a good book. The only thing i'm not sure about is do i correct him as he reads or wait until he's done and point out his errors? I want him to become more self aware but i don't want to ruin the flow of the story. I find he often adds the words 'the' and 'and' and sometimes changes the ending of words or will say a word wrong altogether. There can be quite a bit of errors on a page. What do you suggest?

We've decided to not do any formal tutoring the remainder of the summer.We will just do fun work at home. We are goiong to let him fully rest up and have told him that the 'work' will start when school starts. We don't want to overdo it and make him really hate school by pushing to hard or fast. I mean, like doug said, summer is for rest and play.

I do hope that things will all work itself out and we will figure this out as we go. Sometimes i just catch myself looking at my son and thinking about what his future will bring. I just pray he will be successful in whatever he wants to do. We only want the best for him. LIke you, we've invested sooo much time into helping him with school..i mean crazy hours of studying with him, teaching him. I figure that is probably why he wasn't 'sinking' in school till this point. I just hope he won't be 'labelled' and made fun of or kept back from what he wants to do because of all of this. BRAGGING MOMMY ALERT! icon_smile.gif He's such a wonderful boy, with many wonderful qualities, he only deserves the best.

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