Can someone please help me find a way to address this issue? I've been doing cakes/ cupcakes and cookie bouquets and general pastries for about 3 years for my church, friends, children's schools.

Well now I am making money for my cakes..I do stuff that bakeries here don't do. I started charging enough to cover ingredients so I can get experience and have a portfolio. My husband and I are tight on money right now. How do you deal with orders for friends and still be generous but not taken advantage of.

Here's the dilemma. My husband's best friend's daughter is getting married. This man has been there thru hard hard times for my family. I told him and his wife that I would do their daughter's wedding cupcakes for free (200) and small cake for cutting. I can afford that. Mom and Dad made me promise that any specialty stuff or specialty ingredients they would pay for. The bride wants special cupcake liners that I can't get here, and it is over $30 for order online. I sent her the links to order the liners and she emailed me back to "go ahead and order them"!! I think she is under the impression tha I would pay for everything...What should I tell her without being rude. Any advice or polite way to put this? Thanks

Send the link to the parents, not to the bride. Tell them how many cupcake wrappers they will need to order. It's not unreasonable for you not to buy the wrappers...you could get enough regular wrappers for the 200 cupcakes for about $6 if you had to buy them yourself...and $30 for the parents to pay for their daughter's wedding cake is still a great deal for them.

I agree. When her parents see that those special cupcake liners come to $30 (and s/h) for 200, I'm sure they'll understand this is one of the costs they will pick up.

I too struggle greatly in eating costs for friends, etc. adding to the hardship of our family. I feel caught in the middle. My heart gets the best of me, but we pay a price for it, don't we?

I hope you get a blessing for your generosity.

May I ask what the link is for the cupcake liners?

Definitely send an email to the parents. I would put something like "I know that you want this to be a very special day for your daughter. I found some amazing cupcake wrappers that would look wonderful for about $30. If that is too much for you to spend, I can pick up the regular white ones and you can just reimburse me for the $6. If you choose to order the fancy ones, please use my address for the shipping address. That way I will know for sure where they are."

I don't think this needs to be a difficult situation at all. The parents have already insisted that they pay for any specialty or extra items. All you have to do is tell them that their daughter has asked for some specialty liners and if they want to agree to purchase those for her, then you need to have them order them by whatever date so you will have them for the wedding.

You don't need to make a drama where it doesn't sound like one exists. It's very considerate of them to have told you upfront that they don't want you to pay for a bunch of extras. Just approach it matter-of-factly.

http://www.fancyflours.com/
I hope that I posted that link correctly.. If not, the website is for fancy flours...She wants black and red cupcake liners and I can't get them here..Also, they are greaseproof and it's important because if not there will be icky grease stains on her cupcake stands.

What a great site! I'm saving it for the brides who want a $1 cupcake but they think they can get a better-than-grocery-store cupcake for that price. What fun it will be to tell her, "The fancy wrapper you want is about $1.25 for EACH WRAPPER ... that doesnt' count the baking wrapper, the cake, the icing, and my value added labor."

Yeah ... this will be FUN!

Thank you Indydebi...I don't mind doing the cakes for free so much, but the bride knows I'm doing her cake and cupcakes for free, so when I sent her the link for the papers and said, "could you please order these", I was surprised when she sent me the email back saying go ahead and order!!! I thought my statement was pretty clear.. If it was me, I would have been soooo happy to do it...Gosh, her cake is free!!!! Not to mention the chocolate plastic rosette, etc..

I can sympathize, I do gift cakes that bite me in the butt all the time!